Bishop's Man (3 page)
Authors: Linden Macintyre
“You probably knew he was in Toronto,” the bishop said, now sniffing at his drink.
“That’s where he was heading after Port Hood,” I said.
“Your Brendan has applied for laicization. That was Toronto on the line just now. Wondering if we’d put a word in. He wants to be fast-tracked.”
“What’s his rush?” I asked.
“He says he’s in love.”
“In love with what?”
“He says he’s getting married.”
“Married? Brendan?”
The bishop nodded, a tight smile causing the corners of his mouth to twitch.
“Marrying a woman?” I said, incredulous.
“That’s what they do, though you never know, up there in Toronto.”
“So what will you do?” I asked.
“I said I’d help. Brendan married—good for the optics, don’t you think?”
The pizza arrived and we moved to the kitchen. The bishop was carrying our glasses and a fresh bottle of Balvenie. He arranged two places at the table, tore sheets from a roll of paper towel.
“You’ve been ordained, what, now? Twenty-five years, I think.” He was speaking with his mouth full.
“Approximately.”
“Are you planning anything … some little do to mark the special anniversary?”
“No.”
“I suppose,” he said, chewing thoughtfully, “you have no family to speak of. I suppose it would be different if you were in a parish.”
“Perhaps.”
“You must sometimes wonder why you’ve never had a parish of your own.”
I shrugged. “You’ve told me more than once. I think you used to call it my ‘asymmetrical’ family history.”
“You were a curate once.”
“Assistant.”
“Well, never mind that. I sent you down to Central America. In 1975, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Those were the days, when I had manpower to spare.” He shook his head and studied me for a moment.
“But it wasn’t exactly a ‘manpower’ decision, was it?” I thought he’d ignore the comment.
“You went through a hard patch, true enough,” he said. “But it defined your special gifts. I’m loath to quote Nietzsche … but … you know what I mean. You’re a strong man. A survivor. I always knew that.”
I nodded uncomfortably.
“I consider that period a little … hiccup … in an otherwise exemplary priesthood.” He sipped the drink, reflecting, I assumed, upon my exemplary service. “Ministry takes many forms. Tegucigalpa revealed yours. The Lord’s methods aren’t always obvious to us mortals.”
“I suppose,” I said, attempting a wry smile.
I had three drinks in and more than half the pizza was already gone when he got around to what I was really there for. He said he wanted me, after all these years, to take over a parish. A little place. Nothing too strenuous.
“Me?”
“Time to settle down,” he said. “I figure you’re ready for some new challenges. What would you think of Creignish?”
“Creignish,” I repeated.
“Yes,” he replied.
“I can’t see it. I wouldn’t have a clue what to do there. And I’m perfectly happy at the university.”
But I knew his mind was made up. He had that sorrowful look he sometimes gets when exercising God’s authority.
“Having priests semi-employed at the university became a luxury we can’t afford a long, long time ago. There’s no shortage of lay professors and administrators. Look around you.”
“But the Catholic character of the university? People from all over send their kids here for what they expect to be a Catholic education.”
“We’re more concerned about the Catholic character of the countryside, the solid places like Port Hood and Creignish. Malignant Cove.”
I knew I was supposed to laugh. “But—”
He raised an apostolic hand for silence, then stood and paced the room. “Look,” he said finally. “I regard you as a clone of myself. So I’m going to be frank.” He took the bottle, splashed both our glasses. “I thought certain … matters … were all behind us. But there have been developments.”
“Developments?”
“Nothing to concern yourself about just yet. But next year could be tough. Big time.”
Instantly, half a dozen names and faces flashed before my eyes.
“Not Brendan Bell?”
“No, no, no,” he said impatiently. “That’s old history. We seem to be entering phase two now. The lawyers are getting into the act. I’d like to get you out of the line of fire.”
“What line of fire?”
“I just want you out of the way. You never know what lawyers might come up with. I think Creignish is perfect. Off the beaten track.”
We sat in silence for a full minute, the old house creaking around us.
“You’re going to have to tell me who it is,” I said. “Which one they’re talking about.”
He reached for my glass, which was still half full. “Let me freshen that.”
“Look, I’d appreciate just a clue … just to know how worried I should be.”
“It’s none of them and all of them. You can relax.”
The face and tone were unconvincing. We sat and stared at each other.
Finally he said, “You’ve been mentioned.”
“I’ve been mentioned.”
“You know how it is these days. Everything a conspiracy. Cover-up. You, me. Now we seem to be the bad guys. Whatever happened to trust and respect, never mind the faith?”
“Mentioned by?”
“The damned insinuating lawyers.”
“What are they insinuating?”
“It’s only speculation about how we handled certain matters. They keep going on about something called ‘vicarious liability.’ Did you ever hear the like of it?” He tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling, lips puckered. “Vicarious my foot.” Then he sighed and sipped his drink. “You’ve turned out to be my rock. It was as if providence revealed your strengths to me exactly when I needed you. But now it’s time for you to get lost in parish work and pray that this thing blows over without bankrupting us.”
“But Creignish?”
“You’ll have no trouble settling in. You’re from around there. They’ll know the kind of man you really are, no matter what they might or might not hear.”
I stared at him. I thought: He’s dreaming. But argument was futile.
“For how long?”
“As long as necessary.”
At the door, when I was leaving, his mood became enthusiastic. I was going to love parish work, he said. “Especially Creignish. Good old-fashioned people there. You’ll do a bang-up job. You’re going to be a real priest for a change. Anybody comes looking for you, that’s what they’re going to find. God’s shepherd, tending the flock.”
“When do you want me to go?” I asked.
“The sooner the better.”
“I’ll go in the spring,” I said.
He looked dubious.
“Unless, of course, the bailiff is on the way already.”
He didn’t react to my irony, just said, “Suit yourself … but keep your head down in the meantime.” Before he shut the door, he said, “I heard about the kid on the roof of the chapel the other night. What are they doing about him?”
I shrugged and waited.
“They say he had a saw or something, that he was heading for the cross …”
“I’m giving him a break,” I said.
“Good. You know who his father is.”
And he shut the door.
Walking home on that cold October night, I was barely conscious of the town, the small clusters of subdued youngsters straggling along the street. A fine drizzle filtered through the low-beam headlights of a passing pickup truck. A fluorescent light flickered in an office and another window filled with darkness. I felt disoriented. It was his mood. The heartiness was false. Something large has rattled him. He’s sending me away again. Where did this begin?
And then it is 1968 again and I am on this street, walking full of purpose in the opposite direction, toward the railway station, with a suitcase and a briefcase, the sum of all my secular possessions. Walking tall, bound for a place that I now dare not name for fear of stirring best-forgotten trauma. It is June, an evening sweet with early lilac and the hum of hopeful voices talking politics. June ’68, a renaissance of sorts, at least for me. I was reborn, a priest.
Oh, yes. He told me that time too that I was going to love the place, the place I dare not mention now, in middle age. And by the way, he said, you’ll be with an old pal of ours.
“Surely you remember Dr. Roddie … your old philosophy guru. He’ll be there with you. He said he’ll keep an eye on you. The two of you can spend the long winter evenings reading the Summa to each other.”
“Father Roddie?”
“I knew that you’d be pleased. He’s taking a little sabbatical. Teaching college students burned him out. He could have gone anywhere … I offered Rome. But he insisted on helping out in a parish for a while. Isn’t that just typical?”
The street was almost empty. The drizzle warmed below my eyes, ran like tears beside my nose. Father Roddie. I’d almost forgotten him. A dormant apprehension glowed within me, then, just as swiftly, dimmed. It can’t be Father Roddie this time. He’d be nearly eighty now. I laughed aloud.
“Father Roddie. Wherever did you get to?”
A student shuffled by, stopped and turned. “Excuse me?” he said.
I hurried on.
The campus was quiet but for the throb of music from the residences. I was near the chapel, so I turned toward the stone steps leading up to its double doors. They were unlocked but yielded with reluctance. I dipped my fingers in the holy water then slid into a pew near the back. The gloom flickered near the altar. Somewhere in the basement auditorium someone was practising scales on a clarinet. A tuneless wail of notes gave substance to the shadows around me until I felt that I was wrapped in a suffocating shroud, lost in the endless carnage of days since I first embarked upon this journey into ambiguity. It’s ironic when I think of it: the beauty of the priesthood used to be the promise of its certainties.
The clarinet faltered. A music student struggling with a hard passage from
Rhapsody in Blue.
The wind rose outside, tapping at a window.
Rhapsody in Blue.
The wind rose outside, tapping at a window.
Tap tap tap.
“Hello … are you in there?”
Tap tap tap.
“Father Roddie?”
The door is ajar. I hear a sound. Someone moving.
Just walk right in, he’d said. The hearing isn’t what it used to be.
I walked right in.
An old priest’s sanctuary, drape darkened, sound muffled by reams of books, ancient tomes promising the wisdom of the ages.
“Father Roddie?”
He’s at his desk, expression calm and cold. “And what can I do for you.”
Not a question. A comment.
“I had a question …”
“What about?”
And then I see his visitor, the boy, stricken. Pale with guilt.
I think I must have slept there in the chapel for a while. It was late when I returned to my room. Then I remembered: Creignish. I had a mental picture of the place, the side of a low mountain of the same name, a few miles from where I grew up. Oh, well.
My eye moved to a bookshelf, stopped at a black book spine.
John Macquarrie / Existentialism.
I removed it from the shelf, turned to the neat handwriting on the title page:
Tragedy and limitation are part of what it means to be human …
Then:
Welcome back from your sabbatical. Found this in Boston. Perhaps our paths will cross ere long. RM.
John Macquarrie / Existentialism.
I removed it from the shelf, turned to the neat handwriting on the title page:
Tragedy and limitation are part of what it means to be human …
Then:
Welcome back from your sabbatical. Found this in Boston. Perhaps our paths will cross ere long. RM.
And then the scrawled signature:
Roddie MacVicar. December, 1977.
Roddie MacVicar. December, 1977.
I closed the book, and then my eyes. The images were overwhelming.
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