Bitch (21 page)

(7F

"I cant' believe you're moving out, Precious. I know you can't be married and living here with me, but couldn't you wait until after the wedding."

"Rhonda, I'ma miss you too, but my fiancee wants me to be with him. I love saying that."

"I bet you do. You're marrying Supreme. You're a lucky bitch."

"Who you telling? I can't wait for one of those groupie bitches to step to my man so I can flash my rock in they face and be like what?"

"You know in Vibe Magazine, they congratulated him on his engagement and they printed your name too."

"Word. I can' believe that."

"Yes, they also mentioned it on Miss Jones' show and Wendy Williams. So there are a lot of hurt bitches out there right now."

"Good, `cause I ain't neva giving him up."

"Speaking of giving up, I know that wasn't Amir you were on the phone with a minute ago?"

"If I tell you `yeah', will you hate me?"

"No, I'm not gonna hate you, but I will tell you to wise up."

"Precious, he's been trying so hard and he said he would go get counseling for his temper."

"Rhonda, listen if you not ready to settle down and be true to Amir all the counseling in the world ain't gonna help. He was dead-ass wrong for busting yo' ass, but in the same token, I knew that sneaky shit, fucking niggas behind his back, was gonna catch up to you.

"Trust me, Rhonda, I know what kind of damage cheating can cause. It can make the sanest motherfucker lose they mind. Niggas die behind shit like that.

"If you still want to run these streets and fuck this nigga and the third, then you need to be single and let Amir go. You shouldn't use him as a crutch, just in case it don't work out between you and one of the other dudes you messing around wit."

"I know you're right. It's difficult because before you came along and gave me a makeover, I was the corny chick that didn't nobody pay attention to. When guys started checking for me, it blew my mind. I do love Amir, but I feel like I have to make up for lost time."

"Girl, you can't neva make up for lost time. Once it's gone, it's gone. Only you can decide if you want to be with Amir or not, but if you're kicking him to the curb because you want to get your back blown out by some grimy-ass niggas, then you gotta check yourself. Because all them dudes want to do is smash and dash. Is that worth you losing somebody that you truly love? Don't answer that now, just think about it."

I went back in my room to pack up the rest of my belongings. I was going to miss this apartment and living with Rhonda. We really did become friends, and I had a lot of love for her. But it was time to close this chapter of my life. I was about to move on to something even better.

I picked up the only picture I had of my mother and stared into her beautiful green eyes. It was as if they were staring back at me. The picture was of her holding me when I was just a baby. Her face glowed and she appeared to be full of happiness. I can never remember a time growing up when my mother was healthy and drug-free, so I always hold on to this picture because this is the only tangible reminder I have that shows that she was. My mother still had so much to live for. Her life was stolen from her when she was only thirty-seven, and now here I was, twenty, about to walk down the aisle. It didn't seem fair.

Sometimes I stare at the picture for hours, looking for clues as to what went wrong. How did a woman that had the capabilities of having it all, live her life as though she was nothing? I wondered if she was looking down on me and knew how happy I was. Oh, how I wished she could be here to enjoy this with me. Planning my wedding, meeting my future husband and being a grandmother to the child I hoped to have in the future.

But most of all, I prayed that my mother had forgiven me. Right when she turned her life around, it was taken away because of the decisions I made. Hopefully turning my life around would be payment in full..

-�T

It seemed like overnight it was the day of my wedding. With all the planning I did to have the event take place on a beach, we ended up having an elaborate ceremony right in our own backyard. With the growing guest list and celebratory parties people threw for us, it didn't make sense to try and fly everyone out to a beach. Plus, the mansion we lived on was sitting on six acres of land. That was more than enough space to have a lavish affair. Everyone from Michael Jordan to 50 Cent was in attendance.

It was the event of the summer. It took months to plan the wedding, but the actual ceremony lasted no more than fifteen minutes. But it was all worth it just to be at the altar with Supreme.

After we exchanged vows, took pictures and had our first dance as husband and wife, I went upstairs to change out of my wedding dress. Although it was beautiful I couldn't wait to step into the sexy Roberto Cavalli dress Supreme picked out for me. I caught every angle in the three-sided mirror and the dress clinched my body just right.

"You really are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen." I damn near tripped and fell when I turned to see who was intruding in my space.

"How did you get in here? You weren't even invited to the wedding."

"That was an oversight, I'm invited to everything." I wanted to smack the smug look off pretty boy Mike's face.

"That was no oversight. What the hell do you want anyway, to deliver another message?" I said sarcastically turning my back on him.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Nico said congratulations on your marriage."

"Oh really? so you told him I got married?"

"Actually he read about it in one of those magazines and when I spoke to him he asked me was it true. You know he still loves you, Precious, but how couldn't he look at you. You're about the closest thing you can get to perfection."

"GET OUT!"

"Calm down. You shouldn't get so upset on your wedding day."

"Then leave."

"I will, but only if you allow me to kiss you goodbye, on the cheek of course."

My body was motionless as my feet remained cemented to the floor. Mike came closer and I thought to myself, the quicker he get his rocks off by giving me some weak-ass kiss, the quicker I'll be rid of him for good. I held my breath as he put his head down to kiss me on the left side of my cheek. When I exhaled, he whispered in my ear, "Till death do you part."

Mike turned and vanished as quickly as he appeared. I didn't know whether to run after him and knock him in the head with my heel or to fall on the floor and burst out crying. This was my wedding day for heaven sakes, wasn't it everyone's obligation to stick to the script.

Dead or Alive

I'd never seen Supreme happier than on the day I told him I was with child. Sometimes life can be too perfect.

"Good morning, my little man," Supreme said as he rubbed and kissed my stomach. That was his daily routine ever since he found out I was pregnant.

"Little man? How you know it's not my little princess?"

"My gut is telling me them back shots I gave you produced my little man, that's all."

"Them back shots? How `bout when I was riding you like a cowgirl I made my little girl?"

"Yeah, but I only bust up in you from the back or the front, never with you on top."

"You do have a point there," I admitted clobbering him over the head with the pillow.

"It don't matter, though, whether my little man or your little princess, it's nothing but love. I'm just ecstatic about my wife giving me my first seed."

"Baby, I'ma try so hard to be a good mother to our child. I wanna give this baby the type of parents I never had growing up."

"Precious, you're going to be a wonderful mother, and we will be great parents. This child's life is already starting off different than yours and mine."

"Supreme, you have great parents."

"Yeah, but I have the same hood story as mostly every other black man out here. I was blessed enough to grow up with both of my parents, but they had to break their backs to provide for us. We barely got by, and I could've easily turned my soul over to the street life, but this music game was my savior. Now I can provide for my people, and my family and kids won't ever have to struggle the way we did." Supreme sat up and put his arms around me as we lay in the bed.

"Precious, that's why when you made your confession to me, I didn't judge you or think any less of you. I know what desperation can make you do. Most people fold and either get strung out on drugs, commit suicide or lose they mind. Then they might as well be dead because they just floating through life anyway with no purpose. But your desperation gave you determination, and I admire you for that."

"With all I've seen and been through in life, I ain't never been one to have a lot of faith in God. But now I believe that prayers can be answered because only God could've brought someone as wonderful as you to me."

That morning Supreme and I began making love with a newfound intensity. With every thrust our bodies engulfed one another as if holding on for dear life. It was as if we were making love for the very last time.

After Supreme left to go to the studio in the city, I was looking at my day planner because his birthday was coming up and I wanted to surprise him with a party. When I stared at today's date, to my surprise I realized that it was the anniversary of my mother's murder. I had been so caught up in my new life that it slipped my mind. I got dressed and first stopped at Michael George in the city to pick up a flower arrangement to leave on her gravesite.

I dreaded going to Brooklyn, but I had to show my respect for my mother. I purposely wore a baseball cap and a black sweat suit in an attempt to disguise myself. I didn't feel there would be no drama, but you could never be too careful. Right as I turned on the Brooklyn Bridge, I heard my cell phone ringing.

It was Rhonda. "What's up?"

"Precious, can you come by? I really need someone to talk to."

"What's wrong?"

"It's Amir."

"Please don't tell me that nigga went upside yo' head again."

"No, but I'm afraid he's about to snap again. It's all my fault."

"What the fuck did you do Rhonda?"

"Not take your advice. Amir and I got back together, but I was still seeing other guys on the side. Somehow he got a hold of my T-mobile Sidekick messages and he read all the graphic shit I said I was going to do to this guy. Girl, he just called me and he is flipping out. I don't want to be alone, Precious."

"Okay I have to make a stop, but after I'm done, I'll come over. Lock the doors and don't let nobody in. If Amir come over there wigging out, call the police on his ass. I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Thank you so much, Precious."

"No problem, that's what friends are for."

When I pulled up to the cemetery I sat in the car for a minute seeing if I observed anyone or anything suspicious. I saw a few other families visiting gravesites but nothing out of the ordinary. When the coast seemed clear, I walked to my mother's burial site.

Ms. Duncan picked out a beautiful tombstone, and she had it engraved with exactly what I wanted it to say: A Fallen Angel Who Is Now Forever At Peace. I laid the flower arrangement down and while praying, I felt somebody walking up behind me. I was afraid to look to see who it was.

"Precious, is that you?" I heard a soft spoken woman say. I tilted my head to the side to get a glimpse of who was calling my name. I observed the familiar looking older woman.

"Ms. Duncan, how are you?" I stood up and gave her a hug.

"I thought that was you, Precious. It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too."

"I was hoping I would see you here today. I've been try ing to get in touch with you, but the cell number you gave me was out of service. And the only friend I knew you had was that girl Inga. But when I called, her mama told me that the poor child had been murdered."

"I heard about that. I'm sorry I never called you. I got a new phone and I never got around to giving you the number. Is everything OK, do you need some money or something? I'd be more than happy to help you out. Especially since you gave my mother such a beautiful funeral."

"Oh, no, honey. I don't need your money. I still have plenty left over from what you gave me the first time. This is about you, Precious."

"Me? What about me?"

"Precious, I wanted to warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"You know I got a son, Darius, he's a few years older than you. But like so many of our young black boys, he got caught up in them streets.

"He got out of jail a few months ago, and he's been back at home, staying with me. Well, a few days ago, him and some of his friends were running their mouths like they always do, but when I heard them mention your name, I started paying close attention. They said a fellow by the name of Nico Carter was getting out of jail soon and the first person he was coming to see was you."

"You must've misunderstood. Nico is doing life in prison. That's a mistake."

"No, Precious. They said some big time lawyer he has was able to get him out on some sort of technicality."

My whole body became weak as I stood denying over and over again that Ms. Duncan was mistaken. "Precious, baby, are you going to be alright? Why don't we go over there and have a seat on one of those benches."

"I can't. I have to go ... to go, Ms. Duncan," I said stuttering every word.

"Precious, wait," Ms. Duncan yelled out to me, but it was too late. I got in my car and drove off so fast, trying my best to run away from the truth. I took off my baseball cap and freed my hair, hoping it would stop the migraine headache I was now suffering. I was trying to think who I could call to see if Ms. Duncan's information was correct.

She said he would be getting out soon that meant he was still locked up and I had time to get to the bottom of everything. I thought about getting a hold of pretty boy Mike, but I had sworn to Supreme that I would never speak to him again. Maybe Rhonda could speak to Mike for me and see if he had any information about Nico's release, I thought.

I have to go see her anyway. After I help her come up with a solution regarding Amir, then I'll ask her to help me out with Mike.