Bitter End (11 page)

“She wanted you to take her somewhere?” I asked, trying again to trap his hands with mine. When I touched him,
he seemed to snap out of a daze and see me for the first time.

He grabbed my hands with his and squeezed. “Nah. Just some bullshit. Listen, you don’t want to hear about it.” He stood up.
“I’m gonna see if Mr. Heldorf has a second. I’ll catch up with you later.” He bent over and kissed my ear.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be home a little later, though. Bethany and Zack and I are going to Shubb’s after school. Planning the
trip, of course.”

He stopped, wiping his forehead with three fingers. “Of course,” he answered sarcastically. And he left.

I looked at the clock. Seventh period wasn’t over for another twenty minutes. I gathered my things and slipped into Mrs. Moody’s
office. “Cole’s mom called. He had to go,” I said. “Is it okay if I go to the library?”

She checked her watch and nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

But I didn’t go to the library. Instead, I headed to Bethany’s locker, where I waited until the bell rang, wondering what
Cole’s mom had wanted and why it had made him so angry. And why it had felt like he was angry with me.

We decided to ride to Shubb’s in Zack’s crapmobile. Zack was in rare form, telling us about his date with Hannah, and how
the refs at the soccer game kept threatening to toss Hannah and Zack out if she didn’t stop yelling. And how she’d almost
gotten Zack in a fight with some big, burly college guy in the parking lot at El Manuel’s afterward.

“And then, get this,” he said, laughing. “She told her mom that she didn’t feel any chemistry and didn’t want to
go out with me again. Can you believe that? I got dumped by Hannah Loudmouth!
That
is a new low. Even for me.”

We got to Shubb’s and slid into a curved corner booth. “Two orders of cheese breadsticks,” Zack told the waitress, “and a
pitcher of Coke.” He patted his chest. “On me, ladies.”

“Thanks,” Bethany mumbled, rummaging through her giganto-purse and pulling out the Obsessive Files. “Okay, you guys…”

“No,” Zack said, grabbing each of us around our necks. “I meant literally. On me.” He pulled us toward his chest.

“Stop it,” I squealed, pulling out from underneath his arm and punching him lightly on the chest. Bethany stayed there a little
longer, laughing, but smacking at his arm.

“You wish,” she said at last, squirming away. “Now, seriously, Zack. We can’t get sidetracked. We need to decide what we want
to do.”

“I was trying to show you,” he said, grabbing her head and pulling her close again.

Our drinks came, and Bethany used that as her chance to try to get us on track again. “I’m thinking summer would be better,”
she said, opening the notebook and turning to a tab marked
OUTDOOR
.

“I think summer would be better, too. I might take some classes at community college in the fall,” I said, and as I said it,
I was shocked that I really meant it. For my whole life, everything was leading up to this trip to Colorado. Everything. Never
did I really consider what would happen afterward. Shannin went away to college on scholarships.
Bethany would go away to college, too. Zack would go to acting school. And I would… I’d never filled in the blank before.
I’d always shrugged it off when people asked. It was as if I’d never considered that after I got to Colorado and solved the
mystery of why my mother was so hell-bent on getting there that I’d have to go back to my own life. Or start my own life.
Whichever it was.

“Since when?” Bethany asked, taking a sip of her drink.

I shrugged. “Since… I don’t know… since now, I guess.”

“Is Cole going to community college?” she asked, and even though she didn’t mean anything by it, I still heard it as an accusation.

“I don’t know,” I said snippily. “We’ve never talked about it.”

Bethany shrugged. “Cool,” she said.

The waitress brought our breadsticks, and we ate silently. After a while, Zack started in with another Zack story—something
about Celia asking him to sit with her and her freshman friends at lunch. Not surprisingly, he did it. Zack had more self-confidence
than anyone I’d ever known. He could pull off sitting at a freshman table. Everyone else would rather die. Even most of the
freshmen.

“Some of those frosh are built,” he said, a string of cheese hanging from his bottom lip. “How come neither of you looked
like that when you were freshmen?”

“Because we didn’t get our parents to buy us water
bras,” Bethany said. She slapped her palm against the open notebook. “Okay, so are we in agreement on…”

“Holy shit,” Zack mumbled, and put down his breadstick. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Bethany and I looked up and followed his gaze through the front window of Shubb’s. On the other side, shutting his car door,
was Cole.

“Did you invite Cole here?” Bethany asked. Again, the tone of her voice sounded like she was accusing me of something, though
I didn’t know what exactly.

I shook my head. “Nope, he probably just wanted to say hi.”

“Goody,” Zack said sourly.

I shot Zack a look. He stretched his mouth in a wide fake smile.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, shimmying out of the booth.

By the time I got around the pinball machines, Cole was already inside, craning his neck to find me. I came up from the side
and grabbed him around the waist.

“Hey!” I said. “What are you doing here?”

He jumped at first, but smiled when he turned toward me, and snaked his arms around my waist. “Looking for you,” he said.
“I got done with Heldorf faster than I thought.”

“He change his mind about the C?”

He shook his head. “No. But it’s no big deal. I can still try out for basketball.” He pulled me in tighter. “Mmm, you feel
good. But I don’t want to interrupt you guys. I just
wanted to see you.” He was back to the Cole I was used to—happy and gentle.

“You’re not interrupting anything,” I said. Zack would just have to get used to it, and Bethany wouldn’t care as long as we
were still planning our trip. “Come on over.”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to our table, then slid into the booth beside Bethany, making Zack slide around to the other
end of the curve. He had an irritated look on his face, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to sit next to him. God knew what
he would do to egg on Cole and start a fight.

“Hey, Big C! What’s up?” Zack said in a loud voice.

“Not much,” Cole said tersely. “Just couldn’t stay away from Alex.”

“I’ll bet,” Zack said.

I glared across the booth at Zack, daring him to say any more. He must have gotten the hint because he shut up.

“So, Beth,” he said, diverting his attention away from Cole, “what’re we looking at here?”

“I think we’re looking at summer,” she said. “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” I said.

“Nope,” Zack said. “Not agreed. I want to ski.”

“Maybe we can find some place to water-ski,” I said. “Beth? Is there a lake somewhere?”

“Um,” she said, flipping through the notebook. “I don’t know….”

“No ski, no trip,” Zack said. He stomped his foot under the table. “The man,” he announced in a Ricky Ricardo voice, “has
put his foot down, Lucy!”

“We could always tie you to the back of the RV on a pair of Rollerblades,” I suggested.

Bethany laughed. “Yeah. I hear the skiing on I-70’s great.”

“Har-har, you guys are so funny,” Zack said. “As it happens, I am a god on Rollerblades. I’d tear it up.”

“Since when are you a god on Rollerblades?” I asked, while at the same time Bethany declared, “I’ve never seen you on Rollerblades
in your life.” And then we all started talking over one another. Zack threw a piece of breadstick at my hair. Bethany tossed
a napkin in Zack’s drink. The usual.

“Actually,” Cole said, and everyone got quiet, “I don’t know if they still do it, but there used to be some places out there
where you can ride these slides down old ski runs in the summer. My uncle Ben took me once when I was a kid. It was a blast.”

We all looked at one another.

“That sounds fun,” Bethany said.

I nodded. “Definitely.”

“You know, Big C,” Zack said, “that’s not such a bad idea. Alex, maybe you should keep this guy after all.”

I felt Cole stiffen beside me, but I tried not to react. Zack was just being… Zack. And after a few seconds, I felt Cole relax.
Maybe, I thought. Just maybe I could eventually get these two to get along.

“I plan to,” I said, snuggling up under Cole’s arm.

“So, this RV,” Cole said. “How many does it sleep?”

Bethany’s head whipped up. “We haven’t really decided on an RV yet,” she practically whispered.

Cole nodded.

“What’re you thinking?” I asked, turning so I could see his face, but I was slouched too low.

He shrugged. “Not really thinking anything. Just curious. But… Bethany, would you mind passing on all the stuff you do know?
A summer getaway might be kind of fun.”

“Um, sure,” Bethany said, her thumb picking at the corner of a piece of paper, bending it up. “I’ll get it to you next time
I see you.”

By the time we left Shubb’s, I was grinning so hard my cheeks hurt. The idea of Cole going to Colorado with us made me feel
even more excited about the trip. Like he belonged there.

Better than that, it seemed like finally everyone was getting along. Maybe this would work out after all.

Cole was waiting for me in the back booth, like always. Ever since our date at the movies, every night that I worked, Cole
would come in, order a coffee, scoot into the back booth, and do his homework while waiting for me. He sat there for hours.
Sometimes he would just stare at me. Every now and then, when I looked up from the register, he would wink or blow a kiss
at me. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever seen in my life.

“Doesn’t he have any friends?” Georgia asked one night when Cole got up at closing and sauntered out to his car, where he
would wait for me until I was finished with cleanup.

“Yeah, but they’re all doing their own thing. He’s new, remember? They’ve all known one another for years. Probably once basketball
starts, he won’t be here anymore. I think it’s romantic.”

Georgia nodded. “And creepy,” she added.

I tossed a paper clip at her. “It’s not creepy.”

She shrugged and bent over to retrieve the clip. “All I know is if someone was just sitting there staring at me all night
every night, I’d be a little creeped out.”

“It’s sweet,” I said.

“I haven’t seen those friends of yours around here much lately,” she said.

“I know,” I said. “We’ve all been busy.” But the truth was, I was the only one too busy. Bethany and Zack were still hanging
out like always, but I’d found myself begging off more and more often, hoping they understood and knowing they probably didn’t.
Cole kept me busy after work on the days I did work, all afternoon on the days I didn’t, and pretty much every weekend. He
had even started meeting me at my locker between most classes, which meant Bethany and Zack and I didn’t even have that short
time to catch up every day. And I couldn’t be sure, but I thought maybe they were avoiding The Bread Bowl because they knew
Cole would be there.

I’d begun to see Bethany’s car at Zack’s house pretty often. They’d text me and ask me to come over, but it was never a good
time. I felt torn, but the fact was I wanted to be with Cole. I was really his only friend, and I could hardly complain that
such an amazing guy was making me too much the center of his universe. Plus, even though we hadn’t gotten to the “L” word
yet, I’d begun to suspect I was falling in love with Cole. And when you fell in love with someone, wasn’t that person supposed
to be your best friend, too?

After Cole made the trip suggestion at Shubb’s, I
thought we would all start hanging out together. And at first I really tried to make it happen. But it seemed like Cole irritated
Zack just by being there, and Bethany, feeling caught in the middle, would uneasily just slip away. After a couple days of
everyone feeling awkward, they began staying at my locker only until Cole got there. Then they stopped coming altogether.

“Well,” Georgia said, “I miss that cute boy. He’s always full of it when he comes in here.”

“Zack? Yeah. He’s always full of it, period.” I smiled just thinking about it, all the crazy things Zack did over the years
just to get a laugh out of Bethany and me. I kind of missed him. I made a mental note to go to his house and hang out for
a few minutes.

“It’s cool you have friends that close,” Georgia said, closing up the safe. She sat up straight and then stretched way back
over the top of her chair. “We’re done, chickie,” she said over a yawn. “Drive safe! And tell that Zack to come in sometime.”

“Okay, Gee, I will,” I said, clocking out and taking off my apron.

I pushed through the doors and looked down the parking lot. Cole was getting out of his car. I jogged to him and wrapped myself
around him, breathing in his scent.

“Mmm, you smell good,” I said. “I wish I didn’t have to go.”

He pulled me back to arm’s length. “You don’t,” he said. “Get in. I have something for you.”

“Okay,” I said. “But just for a minute. You have to bring me back to my car. I need to stop by Zack’s tonight.”

Cole opened his door and I ducked in, crawling across to the passenger seat. He got in behind me and started the car.

“Why do you have to go to Zack’s?” he asked.

I wadded up my apron and tossed it and my visor into the backseat. “Just to say hi,” I said. “I kind of miss him.”

Cole made a noncommittal humming noise and turned on the radio. We drove a few miles, jamming while I pulled out my hair tie
and hung my arm out the open window, trying to blow away the scent of potato soup and yeast that always clung to me after
a shift.

After a while, Cole pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car. I peered out the window. We were at McElhaney Park,
the baseball diamonds where Zack played all of his Little League games and Bethany and I gossiped about who we had crushes
on over by the tire swings.