Bitter Hearts (A Southern Loving Book 3) (11 page)

“What
the hell,” Hank said, taking the hammer from Kari, he tried not to laugh but
couldn’t help it. “I’m making good progress on the cribs. All the wood is cut,
holes drilled, and right now I’m sanding.”

“Oh,
don’t we have to hammer nails into place?” she asked, as Hank steered her to a
chair far away from the work bench.

“Bolts
and glue,” he replied, as he went back to sanding the pieces for the crib.

“I
bet your going to build your child a crib,” Kari said, when Hank didn’t replied
she looked up to see sadness on his face. “What’s wrong?” she asked quickly.

“Come
here,” he said, walking out the room.

Dust
floated upwards, and Kari coughed hoarsely. She could barely see around her in
the dark attic with only a peek of sunlight coming from the window. A click
sounded above and light filled the room. The attic was packed with dust cover
boxes. She watched as Hank walked over something cover with a sheet. He pulled
it off revealing a sleigh crib that hadn’t been sanded yet.

“I
made this…a few years ago.” His voice broke.

Kari
ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry, I was insensitive…I
shouldn’t have been nosey.”

“For
three months I watched her body change with our baby.  I loved him or her since
the test read positive. The dreams that we had for our baby no longer existed
and the relationship with Natalie changed drastically.”

“Why?
Shouldn’t that be the time you both lean on each other for support?” 

Hank
let out a small sigh, one that contained so much sadness. “See, my mind and
heart needed to heal, but Natalie needed to heal emotionally and physically. I
tried to be there for her but all she did was push me away. I thought me being
on the road was the cause of her stress. I thought by quitting the country band
Austin and I was in that she would understand how committed I was to my
family.” He sobbed in her arms. “What I get in return a fucking slap in the face,
gave her everything she wanted and…she does this to me.”

Kari
held him tighter and rubbed his back gently; pulling away from him she looked
him in the eyes. “You’re a good man! Don’t let anybody including her make you
think otherwise.”

Hank
walked away from her and shook his head. “I’m mad, frustrated, and feeling
rejected.”

“All
those feelings that are coursing through your body will eventually help you
heal…I know it, I’ve been there. The fear of what the future may hold and you
don’t have any control on what will happen.”

“And
what! You deal with it by not establishing an emotional connection with people?”
he said with sarcasm, walking away from her.

Kari
ran after him. “What the hell does that mean?” she yelled.

Hank
ignored her and went to the fridge where he pulled out a bottle of Corona,
popping the cap he took a long swig. “It means that you’re closed off from the
world. Kari Hayes is afraid of taking risk.”

“You’re
delusional,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re pretending that everything is
freaking fine when it’s not.” Storming to the master bedroom, Kari changed into
her clothes quickly. She left the house without even looking or saying goodbye
to Hank.

***

Hank
stood at the window and watched as Kari got into her car and left. This was becoming
their norm, he would say something foul and she would leave him. All she was
trying to do was to console him and he was being a royal son of a bitch.

“Shit,”
he exclaimed.

“Did
I come at a bad time?”

Hank
twirled around to see Farrah standing in the back doorway, holding a basket
that was emitting a delicious aroma in the air.

“No,”
he said, clearing his throat. Hank wanted to tell Farrah that she didn’t have
to bring dishes to him every day even thou they were delectable, but he felt
like he was in a time zone; the dishes reminded him of the time when his mother
passed away and the casseroles the neighbors had brought over for comforting.

“Did
I just see Kari leaving?” she asked, setting the basket down on the table.

Hank
went over to where Farrah stood and took a peek inside the containers. His
stomach growled smelling the double-crust chicken pie and a triple chocolate
cake. “You don’t have to make meals for me.”

“I
want to,” she smiled, placing the bowls on the countertop. “Sooo…was that Kari
leaving?”

“Yep,”
he said, cutting a piece of cake for Farrah and him.

“Bigger,”
she said looking at him. “What? I’m eating for three,” she laughed when Hank
looked at her crazy.

“So,
where is my insane cousin? I’m surprised he allowed you out of his sight for a
minute,” Hank replied, as they sat at the table enjoying cake and ice cold
milk.

“Don’t
remind me,” she groaned. “I slipped out of the house while he was in the
recording studio.”

Everyone
on the ranch knew that Austin McBride had become over protective with Farrah.
He watched her like a hawk and made sure that she had everything that her heart
desired. “How did you manage?” he teased.

Farrah
licked chocolate frosting off her finger and groaned. “I left my husband and
Diggy a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.” She wagged her finger
at him. “What’s going on with you and Kari? And please don’t change the subject
again.”

“What’s
there to talk about we’re working on the cribs, duh,” he said, with a mouthful
of cake.

“So
you like her?”

“We’re
friends,” he said, forcefully hoping that Farrah would drop the subject.

“Um,
didn’t look like friends,” she said with a shrug, “I thought we’re supposed to
live life and experience it to its fullest, because if we didn’t we’re cheating
ourselves.”

“Who
told you that?” he asked looking at her.

“Charlene
McBride,” she said, staring at him as she took a drink from the glass of milk.
“If you like Kari Hayes you should go after her.”

“I’m
not even divorced yet, I shouldn’t even be thinking about another woman.”

“I
have a feeling that your marriage has been over for a minute,” Farrah replied.
“But…I’m just a person on the outside looking in.”

Hank
knew by the time that Farrah left he would need something stronger than beer
and milk. “We’re friends with benefits.”

Farrah
choked on her glass of milk, picking up the napkin she wiped her mouth and
looked at him. “What?” she coughed.

“We’re
in this new stage and don’t want to complicate our working relationship by
establishing any type of emotional connection,” he tried to explain.

“That’s
bullshit,” she said softly. “Sounds like two people clinging on the past that’s
affecting your future.”

“Farrah,
no disrespect, but you’re not qualified to give advice,” he said. “You were the
same person running away from love.”

“Which
wasn’t healthy…I fell in love with Austin and fighting love was an endless
battle.” She stood up with her plate. “I was about to allow the past to hold me
down from loving him. I prevailed and didn’t allow the past to take over.”

“It
hasn’t been even six months and I’m already sleeping with another woman,” he
said, raking his brains for excuses not to take his relationship with Kari any
further.

“I’m
not pushing you into a relationship with her, I’m just saying you should
explore your options,” Farrah said, washing their dishes. “Are you over
Natalie?”

Hank
sat in the chair. “I don’t love her anymore, I can’t even respect her, but I do
wish her all the best and hope she’s happy.”

“Now
see,” Farrah smiled drying the dishes, “I believe you and Kari are suffering
from the same aliment, bitter heart syndrome.”

Hank
laughed so hard his side was hurting. “What the hell? Bitter what? I’m not
bitter, but Kari is not me.”

“You’re
the pot calling the kettle black,” she said, tossing the wash cloth at him. “FYI,
BHS means Bitter Heart Syndrome, both of you guys justifying having a friends
with benefits relationship because you both have left over resentment from past
relationship. This whole FWB means that you both no longer believe in building
a solid and positive relationship.”

“Farrah,
everyone can’t be happy like you and Austin.”

“A
wise person told me that a marriage and relationship ends because one or both
people don’t understand how to love or meet the needs of the other.”

“Who
told you that?” he asked.

“My
father.” Farrah sat back down in her seat, placing her hand on her round tummy.
“The day I married Austin he said to us “to love consciously is a choice.”

“Your
father is a wise man,” Hank said. “But Mrs. McBride, last time I checked I’m
pushing thirty-four years old and Kari is almost twenty-nine years ago…do you
know what that means?”

Farrah
stood her hands up in the air. “I get you both are grown ass people, but even
grown ass people can’t fight the attraction.”

“Farrah,
please drop it,” he said kissing her forehead. “Everyone is not destine to find
their soul mate like Austin found you and Shane found Jasmine.

“Well,
as you cousin in law I will be right there to say ‘I told ya so.”

“No
you won’t, because it ain’t gonna happen,” Hank said. He asked himself if he
was trying to make himself believe his words more than Farrah.

***

Hank
sat on the back of Scout, his chestnut color mustang, in a grassy field under a
beautiful morning sky in Nashville. For two days he’d been spending each night
with Kari. When he was finished with chores and spending hours in the workshop
putting together the cribs for the twins, he found himself at Kari’s house
enjoying dinner and watching a movie with her.

“What
is that look for?”

Hank
looked back to see Austin riding up on Shadow, his black mustang.

“Nothing.”

“Farrah
said that you and Kari have a thing going on.” Austin shook his head with
disappointment.

“I’m
a single man,” Hank reminded his cousin, as he pulled the reins.

“So
what is exactly going on?” Austin asked, brining Shadow beside him. “Please
tell me this doesn’t have anything to do with rebound sex.”

“It’s
called friends with benefits,” he admitted with a grin on his face.

“That
look on your damn face tells me it’s something more.” Austin ran his hand down
his face. “Are you telling me it’s nothing more but a romp in the sack?”

“Yeah,”
he said, oblivious to the look he was getting from his cousin.

“You
can’t have the cake and eat it too,” Austin howled with laughter. “Do you even
know the damn rules about FWB?”

“Austin,”
Hank said, getting a little agitated with Austin prying ways.

“Don’t
Austin me, shit I just want everything copacetic for my wife and those
nurseries that Kari is decorating.”

“Well
cousin, Farrah doesn’t have to worry her pretty little head about my
relationship with Kari,” he said, making a clicking noise and gently pulled the
reins to get Scout into a gallop. He tore like a bat out of hell across down
the trail; he heard the hoof beats start up after him.

Thirty
minutes later, they stood in the stables brushing their horses’ mains.

“Are
you ready for the concert tomorrow?” Austin asked.

“Yeah,
I know we have rehearsal tomorrow afternoon,” Hank said. “I’m bringing Kari
alone, then we’re taking off to Dallas.”

“I
thought you guys we’re leaving on Sunday since you’re technically not due in
Dallas until Tuesday morning.”

“I
thought we could make a few stops on our way to Dallas, I have a feeling that
Kari’s never been to Graceland, or Arkansas.”

“Kari’s
family is locked and loaded with money…I’m talking about old money mixed with
new money.”

“What
did you do Google her?” Hank asked with a chuckle, when Austin didn’t respond
he knew his cousin’s answer. “You did.”

“Yeah,”
he said sheepishly. “I wanted to know who the hell I was hiring and bringing
around my family.”

“What
do you know about her family?” Hank asked.

“What,
haven’t you asked her?” Austin shot back at him as he brushed Shadow gently.

“I
don’t ask her about her family.”

“So,
tell me about this friends with benefits thing,” Austin inquired.

“It’s
her idea not mine.” Hank face turn a beet red. “We both experienced some bad
relationships in the past and we’re not ready for a serious commitment.”

“If
you asked me, I say there might me something more,” Austin said matter of
factly. “Plus, this friends with benefits thing don’t make sense.”

“Well
cousin, I’m ain’t asking you,” Hank mumbled. “Why doesn’t it make sense?”

“Because
A.) You’re suppose to pick someone you wouldn’t date.  B.) You guys had dinner
together and probably more than once. C) You cook dinner for her and friends
with benefits don’t do that-”