Bittersweet (19 page)

“I don’t know how we are supposed to work together when every time I see you I want to do that.”

I grinned.

“The wait makes it sweeter.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled.

We arrived at his house before Julia and Grant, in spite of the fact that we had to stop to pick up the books. We also may have gotten a little distracted on the living room couch. I was lucky I remembered the books at all.

Paris met us at the door.

“What the hell? Where’s Julia?”

“On her way. She’s riding with Grant.”

He tugged on his pink shirt.

“How do I look?”

I smirked. “Dashing as usual, pink really works on you. Why are you so worried?”

“You’ve seen her. She’s even hotter than you.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at me. “No offense.”

I crossed my arms in front of me. “She’s a mom. You know that, right?”

He checked out his reflection in the mirror next to the front door.

“That’s even better. I’m not looking for a relationship. Just sex.”

I very nearly slapped him. I liked Paris. A lot. He was funny and mostly endearing, but the thought of him just using Julia disgusted me. Dallas tugged on my hand. “Come on, I need to go talk to my dad.”

We left Paris preening in front of the mirror. As a parting shot, I said, “The pink makes you look like a girl. Just FYI.” I’d talk to Julia before he got his hooks too deep into her. She had a pretty good head on her shoulders though, so hopefully I wouldn’t have to do much to tip her off.

Dallas pulled me outside where we found his father next to a bounce house. He looked like Dallas, just older.

“Dad, I’d like you to meet Savannah. Savannah, this is my dad, Jerry.”

I shook his hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet the girl that Dallas won’t stop talking about. Neither will Paris, for that matter.” He laughed.

Dallas grimaced.

I smiled and looked over the yard. A bounce house, a blow-up waterslide, and three other blow-up toys that I couldn’t identify.

Jerry pointed toward all the toys. “Do you think it’s enough? I’ve got a few more in the basement, but they are designed for older kids.”

“Dad, you know there is only one little boy coming, right? All you needed was the waterslide.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want him to get bored.”

“Did you even remember to start the grill?”

He nodded. “You and Paris are cooking. I’ve got a little boy to entertain. What’s his name again?”

Dallas sighed. “A.J.” Then he turned to me. “Dad’s crazy about kids. They would’ve had ten, but Ma had complications after Paris and couldn’t have any more. They tried adoption once but the birth mother backed out at the last minute and Ma said she couldn’t take the emotional stress of it again.”

Jerry interrupted him. “That means that you and Paris better have a dozen each. I plan on spending my retirement years surrounded by grandkids.”

Dallas looked like he was about to say something when we heard a squeal. I turned to see Julia, Grant, and Paris coming out of the house. A.J. was fighting to get out of Grant’s arms. Grant finally put him down and the boy made a beeline for the bounce house. Jerry was already running after him.

“Sorry we’re late, we got lost,” Julia said with a big smile. She looked over at the bounce house as Jerry lifted A.J. inside. “You sure he won’t get hurt?”

Dallas answered. “You won’t have to worry about him until you leave. Dad won’t let him out of his sight. He’s even making me cook.”

Julia looked over at the bounce house again. “If you say so. But I’m just going to make sure it’s okay.” She went to check on A.J.

“What happened?” I asked Grant. “Your directions were pretty clear.”

He blushed. “Julia talks a lot. I kept missing turns because we were in the middle of a conversation, then we had to backtrack to find the right roads.”

I laughed. “Remind me to download a GPS app for you. It will yell at you if you miss a turn.”

A few minutes later, Alexandria appeared carrying a plate full of steaks. She handed it to Dallas.

“These won’t cook themselves. Go on, all of you boys. Do whatever it is you men do on the grill. Ladies, follow me.”

We followed. Julia grabbed my arm and leaned toward my ear.

“Thank you,” she squealed and nearly burst my eardrum. I couldn’t figure out if she was thanking me for Grant or Alexandria.

“No problem. Did you have fun?”

Her face went pink.

“I’ve had a thing for your uncle since the day he hired me, but I’d never really spent any time with him. The ride was so fun. I’d never seen Grant laugh like that.” Alexandria interrupted us. “Make yourselves comfortable. I’m going to grab the fruit.”

We sat down and Julia changed the subject. “Do you think she’ll sign our books?”

“Of course I will.” Alexandria appeared in the doorway. “I didn’t know you were fans.”

“We’ve both read all of your books.”

She sat down.

“I’m flattered. Which one is your favorite?”

I thought for a second, then rattled off three titles. “I can’t pick a favorite.”

“You know,
Bikinis and Roses
was based on Dallas’s high school years. That was when he still told me about his dates.”

“No way. The main character was a total player and slept with a different girl every night. I would’ve thought Paris before Dallas.”

Alexandria raised her eyebrows and I saw where Dallas got that look.

“Where do you think Paris learned it? He idolized Dallas during that time. Still does, it’s just not as obvious.”

“Dallas and I went out for weeks before he so much as kissed me on the cheek. He’s never struck me as a player.”

Julia snatched a few grapes from an overflowing bowl. “Yeah, I’ve never seen him try to go for any girl except Savannah. In fact, most of the time he was trying to hide from them. For a while I thought he might be gay,” she said.

“He had a bad run in with a young lady a few years ago and that changed things.”

My ears perked up.

“Okay, Master Storyteller, I wanna hear that one.”

She frowned. “That is one story I’m forbidden to tell. You’ll have to ask him.” My stomach tightened. I didn’t realize that Dallas had a past. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Still, the fact that he starred in
Bikinis and Roses
bothered me. The guy in that story was a big jerk and was nothing like the Dallas I knew. The only reason I liked the book was because he changed in the end. But that was fiction, things like that don’t happen in real life.

Alexandria did regale us with stories from when Dallas was a child, most of which would’ve been highly embarrassing if the shoe were on the other foot. When the boys came back, I razzed Dallas a little about his childhood antics. We ate and talked and laughed. This was supposed to be the summer from hell, yet I was actually having fun. I felt happy, which took some getting used to.

Just before we cleaned up, Alexandria addressed us all.

“On the Fourth of July we throw the best party in Minneapolis and I’d like all of you to come. Make sure you bring your swimming stuff and a life vest for A.J.”

Jerry looked up from A.J. “We’ve got one that will fit him.”

“Officially the party starts at noon, but I know your work schedules are strange so come when you can. We don’t usually pull the boats in until two a.m. We have Bob ferry people out to us all evening from the fishing boat.”

I smiled.

“We’ll do our best to make it.”

Dallas pulled me away from the group as his mother picked up the dishes.

“Do you think you can stay for a bit? I’m not ready for you to go yet.” My heart flip-flopped.

“Sure, but only if you take me home.”

He smirked. “I might not. Maybe I’ll make you stay here tonight.”

My butterflies went bananas and I turned away from him. I didn’t want him to see my reaction. I was sure I was blushing like mad.

We said our goodbyes and Dallas lead me up to his room. I wasn’t quite expecting that. The den maybe, but not his room. His room was spotless and sparse. A painting of a ship hung on one wall but there were no photos. He had a bookshelf full of old books, but no new ones. The centerpiece of his room was a gigantic bed.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

“What?” he asked. “I like to sleep.”

“Sure.”

“No really, lay down on it. It’s the most comfortable bed ever. You’ll be asleep in seconds.”

My heart raced. “I seriously doubt that. You didn’t bring me up here to sleep.”

I jumped on the bed and rolled onto my side, propping up my head. He followed, mirroring my pose. He traced my ribs with his fingers, which was distracting.

“How many other girls have been in this bed?” I asked.

His hand froze.

“This one? Um, none.”

I rolled onto my back. “How long have you had this bed?”

“About a year. I can tell you are going somewhere with this. What do you really want to know?” He lay down next to me so that our shoulders were touching; his fingers entwined with mine, but he didn’t look at me. We both stared at the ceiling.

“How many girls have you had sex with?”

He sighed.

“Does that really matter?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Look, I don’t try to dig into your past, why do you want to know mine?”

I scowled. “Because I don’t have a past, but you do.”

“You’ve been talking to my mother, haven’t you?”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah.”

“Do you really want to know?”

No. “Yes.”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I slept with a lot of girls in high school. Mostly when I was drunk or high. If I had to guess, I’d say around twenty.”

I sat up. “Twenty! Are you for real?”

“Yes. But that’s not who I am now. Seriously, I’ve changed.”

I looked at him warily. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you change?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He rolled over, away from me. “Talk about a mood killer.”

I rolled off the bed. “Maybe you should take me home.”

He was quiet on the way home and I made no attempt to fix that. It felt like he was hiding something big. I didn’t know why it bothered me so much.

When we got to the apartment, he opened my car door and followed me to the building. I fumbled with the keys.

He cleared his throat.

“I can’t talk about what happened. It was one of the worst moments of my life and I don’t feel like reliving it again. You gotta trust me when I say that I’m not that guy anymore. In fact, I haven’t touched alcohol since that night and I’ve barely looked at girls. I did have a girlfriend a couple years ago, but that was a girlfriend, not a one-night stand. I like you a lot. Sometimes I think I even love you, but I can’t talk about this.”

I took a deep breath.

I could hold something over his head that happened years ago, or I could forget about it. A small part of me needed to know. But the bigger part of me couldn’t reconcile the Dallas his mom talked about and the Dallas I knew. I inserted the key and turned the lock. With one hand I pushed the door open and with the other I pulled Dallas in after me.

“Grant,” I called. No answer. He must not be home yet. Dallas shut the door with a click. His eyes looked haunted. It reminded me of how I felt when I thought of my dad. Then I remembered that I had secrets of my own. Secrets that might make him hate me too.

It pained me to see that look in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. He took that a sign that he was forgiven, and before I knew it, we were entangled on the couch again, all dark secrets forgotten.

July 1

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Pumpkin,

You know, as I got older, my body started turning on me. My hands shook constantly and I had trouble sleeping. I couldn’t do roller coasters like I did when you were a kid. I tried not to show it, but when we would get home from a long day, my whole body would ache. I never wanted to live like that. I am sorry for what I did, but I simply couldn’t do it anymore.

Ride on,

Dad

P.S.: You are using condoms, right?