Bittner, Rosanne (23 page)

Did
Harriet know about this? She suspected not. The woman would be mortified and
devastated if she knew, especially if the public found out. How tempting it was
to tell her, after the snobbish, cruel way the woman had been treating her.

She
quietly slipped back up to her room. Now there was even more to think about.
Should she tell John what she had heard? It could be dangerous for him.
Caldwell had probably already sold what stolen cattle he had, and John would
look like a fool if he accused the man of a hanging offense without any real
proof. His only proof was her word about what she'd seen and heard. As
respected as Jim Caldwell was, no one would believe her, and John could get
himself hurt, or discharged. Besides, if he tried snooping around Caldwell's
ranch to find evidence, he could get himself killed.

Her
dilemma was great, but one thing was certain. Now that she knew what she knew,
on top of being pregnant, she had to leave the Caldwell ranch. She would find
an excuse, perhaps just that she wanted a more independent job. She had
talents. She could cook. She was a good seamstress. She would go back to El
Paso, earn her own way. Caldwell had cleaned up the debris at her farm, and if
it sat there and became overgrown, that just left more grass for grazing horses
and cattle if she sold it or got things going again herself. The corn was
harvested, so now she'd have some money to help her get started in something
new. She could go back to town, maybe talk to Jenny Simms. Jenny had money, it
seemed. Maybe she would back her in some kind of small business... and help her
decide what to do about the baby she was carrying. For the time being she would
say nothing about what she'd overheard downstairs. She had to give that a lot
of thought, too.

She
heard a door close below and went to her bedroom window, which was at the front
of the house, and in the bright moonlight she could see a man getting on a
horse. That would be Higgins. He quietly rode away. Another man walked across
the lawn toward the bunkhouse in the distance. That would be Casey Dunlap.

She
moved away from the window, stunned by the revelation of the kind of man Jim
Caldwell really was. John really should know about this, but it could bring him
far more trouble than it was worth. Maybe he would stumble across something on
his own, find proof in his own way. Besides, an idea was forming in her mind,
one that involved John. She could not risk something happening to him. The idea
seemed outrageous, but she wondered if she had any other choice.

She
shivered, struck by the most horrible indecision she had ever grappled with.
What an ungodly turn her life had taken since that day Abel shivered in hiding
under the bed while she fought alone against Chino and his men.

Tess
looked around the ostentatious bedroom upstairs from Jenny's Place. The
wallpaper was red with gold velvet flowers, the carpeting also red. Lace
curtains hung over gold window shades, and the spread on the brass bed was red
satin. Although gaudy, the room was surprisingly neat. For some reason she had
expected a mess, since Jenny Simm's life itself seemed a wild mess. On a
dresser sat a variety of perfumes and powders, neatly lined up, and a rack in
the corner held a number of fancy ruffled and feathered robes. If Jenny Simms
was not an all-out prostitute, one certainly would not believe it on seeing
this room.

She
stared at the bed, which sat high because of what Tess guessed to be several
mattresses. She couldn't be sure, and she did not want to go over and look. She
could not help picturing John in that bed with Jenny, could not help wondering
what that would be like. She imagined John as wild and untamed and passionate
about making love, much as he was outside the bedroom, and she chastised
herself for even wondering.

Why?
Why did she care? She told herself she really didn't. If not for what she had
in mind, it would not matter to her if he slept with six different women a day.
In fact, he would probably have a good laugh once he discovered her plan. It
was a daring, probably foolish idea, but she was not going to allow herself any
more humiliation than what she was already in for. Jenny had told her to come
talk to her anytime, so here she was... in the notorious bedroom of Jenny
Simms. She had come to the back door asking to talk to her, and the bartender
had led her up some back stairs to this room and had gone to get Jenny.

Surely
she had lost her mind. Yes, that was it. Her abduction had caused some kind of
mental relapse so that she didn't even know what she as doing. Desperation had
driven her over the edge... and to this place. She prayed Maria had believed
her when she'd told the woman she was not with child after all. For her plan to
work, people had to believe this baby was sired by... John Hawkins.

"Well,
for heaven's sake."

Tess
gasped in startled surprise when Jenny spoke up behind her, and she felt her
face turning red at the realization the woman had caught her staring at the
bed.

"I
never really thought I'd see you again, not like this anyway," Jenny said.
She closed the door and glanced from Tess to the bed. "You wondering what
it's like to be bedded by John Hawkins?"

Tess
held her chin high and walked to a window. "Certainly not!" She took
a couple of deep breaths for self-control. She had to be very businesslike
about this. "However, John Hawkins is part of the reason I am here."

"Okay."
Jenny sauntered over and sat down on the bed, her breasts billowing over the
low neckline of her blue velvet dress. "Talk away. I'm a good listener,
and God knows you must need to talk to someone. I heard you'd gone out to work
for Harriet Caldwell. I have a feeling that won't last long. Who could bear to
live with that woman more than ten minutes?"

Tess
sighed, walking over to a rocker near the bed and sitting down in it. "I
have to agree with you there. Harriet has treated me dreadfully. I came into
town with her today to shop. She doesn't know I am here."

"Humph,"
Jenny grunted. "That's no surprise. So, you're back in town, thinking to
find work, I presume, hoping to leave Mrs. Caldwell's employ. But what is this
about John, who, by the way, I've heard pulled another one of his famous stunts
in capturing a gang of outlaws led by Holt Puckett. Puckett is a bad one, but
John helped capture him, they say—helped the
Army
capture him, I should
say. You won't believe how he did it. Jim Caldwell will probably try to make
something out of it again."

Tess
leaned back in the rocker. "What happened? And how do you know about it?
Is Mr. Hawkins in town?"

"Not
yet. I heard it from Ken Randall. He's back, but John went to Fort Bliss first
with a Lieutenant Ames, to report to his own commander, a Captain Booth. I
don't doubt what he did will be the talk of the town soon enough." She
chuckled. "John sure does know how to create gossip." The woman got
up and walked over to her dresser, surprising Tess when she picked up a thin
cigar and lit it. "Do you mind?"

"No.
Please tell me what happened."

Jenny
puffed the cigar for a moment. "Well, apparently Puckett and his men holed
up in an old cabin and the Army couldn't root them out. So, John went to a
place the Apache call Place Where Men Die, better known to white men as
Rattlesnake Hollow. With his bare hands and the skill only an Indian could
possess, he collected several rattlers and put them in burlap bags. Then, after
dark, he snuck down to the cabin. Nobody knows how to take chances like John
Hawkins. Who else would do a thing like that? A cabin full of ten desperate men
with guns and a need to kill, and John walks right down there and climbs up on
their roof. Not many men could do that without being detected. At any rate,
come morning light, he dumped a bagful of rattlers down the chimney. During all
the screaming and gunfire, he climbed down and dumped another bag of snakes
through a window, and in no time those men were running out of there. A few got
shot. The rest gave themselves up. I guess John shot Puckett himself, only this
time he was a good boy. He aimed for the man's legs so Puckett couldn't run
away. At least he didn't kill him. That's a step in the right direction for a
man like John. The Army arrested all of them and took them to Fort Bliss."

Tess
put her head back and closed her eyes. "Rattlesnakes." John Hawkins
was indeed a man of unusual talents and tactics. She could not help smiling.
"Who else would think of something like that and be daring enough to do
it?"

Jenny
laughed. "Actually, Ken said John would probably rather have put dynamite
down that chimney, but he's already used that idea, and it got him in trouble.
When it comes to getting his man, John will stop at nothing. Most of the time a
man just gives up because John Hawkins is after him."

The
story made Tess even more apprehensive about what she was considering.
"Could he ever be dangerous around a woman?"

Jenny
lost her smile. "John? He's the most considerate, gentlest man I've
ever..." She hesitated when she noticed a sudden flash of what looked like
jealousy in Tess's eyes. "Slept with," she finished. "John would
never force a woman or hurt a woman. In fact, he hates that sort of thing. His mother
was raped twice, you know. He killed the man who raped her the last time.
That's why he had to flee Missouri and come to Texas. From the way he talks, he
was always very protective of his mother. She was often mistreated because she
was part Indian and had a bastard son." She puffed on the cigar again.
"Now there is something else that runs deep with hurt in John. He's not a
man to let on that he has any emotions at all, but I've seen that deeper side
of him a time or two. I know it bothers him that he never knew his father, that
he was himself a product of rape. But his mother loved him dearly. He still
speaks fondly of her. And to this day he hates rape. Between you and me, he
blew up Derrek Briggs and his men because they raped a little Apache girl, not
because they stole cattle. Nobody knows that, so don't spread it around. Others
would think nothing of it because the girl was Indian, but John can't tolerate
such things. I'm sure that's part of the reason he took a chance with his life
going after you like he did." She leaned closer, resting her elbows on her
knees. "What in God's name made you ask a question like that? You should
know better, after being rescued by the man and after all the trouble he went
to to let you clean up before you came into town. He even tried to convince the
authorities you weren't touched. Why would you think he could be dangerous
around a woman?"

Tess
rubbed at her eyes. "He's so violent in other ways, that's all. I just
wondered if you thought he—well, you must know him about as well as anyone. I
wondered if he was actually married to a woman, sort of owned her... you
know... had legal claims to her... if he might not be so considerate."

Jenny
was astounded at the question. She studied Tess intently, hardly able to believe
the woman must be suggesting she wanted to marry John Hawkins! Surely the last
thing Tess would want was to go to bed with
any
man, and a more opposite
match couldn't possibly exist. "What in God's name are you talking about,
Tess?"

Tess
leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "I'm pregnant, Jenny."

The
room remained silent for several long seconds. "My God," Jenny
finally said softly. "It's not your husband's?"

"It
isn't possible. We hadn't... It just isn't possible. It can't be anyone's but
that brutal Chino's. I'm going to have a baby, and it's going to look Indian,
or Mexican, whatever Chino was. It will need a father who looks similar so it
will be believable that man
could
be the father. That way the child
won't be called a bastard. I am sure I could not possible truly love such a
baby, but I would never be cruel or unkind to him or her. I can't get rid of it
because the thought of such a procedure frightens me, so don't even suggest it.
Besides, I think it's wrong. I have to find a way to suffer through this with
some kind of dignity, and a way to keep my baby from being called a bastard.
John Hawkins would understand that. If I am to marry to make things look proper
for this child, then I must marry a man who would look like the father of a dark-skinned,
dark-haired child. Since I can't marry just any stranger, John was the only one
I could think of. I wanted to know how you think he would react to such a
proposition. I couldn't bear for him to laugh at me. And I wondered if you
thought he would stay out of my bed once I was his legal wife."

Jenny
could hardly believe what she was hearing. She got up from the bed and walked
over to look out a window. "Good Lord," she muttered. She puffed on
the cigar again. "Honey, I have no idea how he would react to such a
proposition, except that he'd hate for any baby to be called a bastard. He
knows what it's like to grow up with that label, never knowing a real father.
He might marry you just for that reason. As far as him forcing his husbandly
rights—no, John Hawkins would never do that."

He
has you for that, Tess thought. That was a part of the bargain John Hawkins
might not go for. She couldn't have her husband be seen visiting prostitutes.
"Do you think I'm crazy for even thinking of doing this?"

Jenny
came back over to kneel in front of her, setting the cigar aside in an ashtray.
"Well, considering the circumstances, I guess not. And I don't think John
would laugh at you. He would understand your dilemma. I just can't say for sure
if he would agree to it, but he wouldn't laugh. I'm sure of that."