Black Wolf (28 page)

"Uh-huh.
Suddenly I understand a lot of little things. That still doesn't
explain why nobody just told me all this. Maybe not when I first
woke up, I would've been out of there awful damned quick, but
you've had like over six months of me in and out. Christ, this time
alone I've been here for a month or more."

Bane was
silent for a moment. "Rebecca hurt you very badly, I just told you
that. Even Gisela with Kev backing her couldn't mend the damage
much beyond getting you back to safe ground, and there was no
reason to think any other healer could do more. We weren't sure if
it would ever heal completely, and we were afraid we were going to
have to tell you,
well, sorry, Jess, you could've come run with
the wolves except there's too many psychic scars, you won't ever be
able to
. I, at least, was quite sure you'd never heal." He
chuckled softly. "Which at first I saw as a good thing, but Kev
talked me into putting up with you past the day I picked up your
scent in my room, and at some point I started hoping you'd heal,
instead. I didn't realize at first just how guilty Kev felt about
it, or how upset he was over the idea of you never healing
completely. Actually, I'm not sure it completely hit me until I saw
just how relieved he was when I told him you'd changed. So. We
waited. I suppose we should've told you at the very least that
there are wolves around, and I think I would've soon since you
already knew about pretty much everything else. That's what I meant
about good intentions."

"If you'd told
me wolves existed, I would've figured it out for myself."

"Oh?"

"Lots of
hints. Dreams... stuff like that. I couldn't possibly have not put
the two together. I'm good at lying to myself sometimes, but I'm
not that stupid."

"Nobody thinks
you're stupid."

"I suppose
half of Haven was in on this. I'm not sure if I'm flattered
everybody thought it was worth the effort or supremely pissed off
at the whole bunch of you."

"You do have a
perfect right to be."

Both fell
quiet again.

"So," Jess
said. "I'm a werewolf. Wouldn't that freak Shaine out something
fierce. What don't I know about being a werewolf?"

"A lot. That's
going to take some time to learn."

"Major
points."

Bane shrugged.
"Our first responsibility is to protect. There are things out there
that feed on psychic energy, and even Kev can't protect himself.
Wolves can fight them, though, and we do, even though it means
getting hurt sometimes. I can't think of any incident of a wolf
smelling a predator in range and not attacking it. That was how I
met Flynn, in fact: he'd just come to Haven, had no clue, was out
wandering around. He almost got munched, but I killed it and then
scared him half to death by changing to human." He grinned. "He
smelled like a seer, he was in Haven, how was I to know he'd never
seen a wolf before?"

That was a fun
thought, especially since nothing ever seemed to surprise Flynn.
"There can't possibly be enough wolves to protect everybody. And
you can't be with everyone at once."

"The
coven-link protects. If they killed me, Kevin would be first,
Cynthia second, and Deanna and Flynn for dessert. Mages and very
strong gifted and witches tend to attract, and any coven with that
kind of concentrated power will always have a wolf in it. Weaker
covens might not, though, and solitaries aren't taking an insane
risk by staying solitary. You're right, it wouldn't be possible to
protect everyone individually. Mostly we defend the area. Haven is
collectively the territory of every wolf who lives here, and
predators are intruders—there's a whole lot more I'll need to
explain about territoriality. That keeps them too wary to venture
in very often. Once in a while they get someone, but it's very
rare, and usually they have to be begging for it like Flynn was.
Predators aren't as common these days as they apparently used to
be, either. I think I could live with it if they became
extinct."

"Then they
wouldn't need wolves anymore," Jess pointed out, with a hint of
mischief.

That made Bane
laugh, and lean back against the wall. "There's that. They'd never
put up with all our quirks if they didn't need us. Of course, we
wouldn't have so many if we could live like we're meant to. There
are a crazy number of us living in what for wolves is very close
quarters, a territory of a few dozen square miles, whereas one pack
of wild wolves can have a hundred square miles. Tame food is fine,
but without wild food once in a while we get sick, so we have to be
always careful about hunting—it helps that no one else can hunt
around here and the witches and dryads keep things healthy and
wildlife filters in from farther away to fill the gaps eventually,
but still. Having to deal with so many other wolves can get
extremely stressful. The price of keeping our friends safe is that
we get forced into behavioural patterns that just aren't natural
for us. Some deal with it better than others. Mostly, we learn not
to need a lot of sleep, and we spend days being civilized and go
play at night. Some people are more understanding than others,
too."

That
conversation continued for quite some time, Bane obligingly
answering every question Jess could come up with, until Bane told
him Kevin said supper was ready.

Mage and witch
greeted Jess with undisguised relief that he was home, as the two
wolves joined them at the table.

"Were you
having fun for the last two weeks?" Kevin asked.

"I was gone
that long? Shit, Shaine's going to kill me, that means I've been
here for over six weeks. Yes, actually, I did have fun. But I think
I'll stick with civilization for now."

Bane chuckled,
and handed Jess the plate of steak. "You were gone right through
Beltaine and on into May. There's a reason we let them halfway tame
us. Hot showers and food you don't have to catch and clean beds
being important points."

"So I
discovered. I think maybe this is really home."

"We've been
trying to tell you that," Kevin said.

"I didn't say
I'm staying here for good."

"Oh, for...
how much more proof that you belong here do you want?"

"The fact that
I'm a werewolf and there are wolves in Haven does not mean I belong
here."

"Cool it,
phoenix," Bane growled.

Kevin heaved a
sigh, and reached for the pitcher of fruit punch. "So what is it
going to take?"

"I think maybe
I'm going to go back to Shaine for a while. I always come back, you
should know that by now. But I need to think, and he is my friend.
I guess... there's too many loose ends."

"It's your
choice," Cynthia said. "Your room's always here waiting, but this
isn't a prison."

"No. It's just
the only safe place I know, where anybody actually cares. I'll go
in a couple of days, once I feel a bit more grounded in
reality."

"Not until
Gisela gets a chance at the mess you made of your ear," Bane said.
"She can fix it, healers get used to fixing ears for us. And not
until we have the party to end all parties. We can't have a party
to celebrate your being fully wolf without you here, can we?"

Oh, good god,
not
another
party! Didn't they ever stop?

22

Gisela
wondered how people had picnics without witches.

Cynthia,
Naomi, and Nick, between them, were holding a shield over the
picnic table to keep ants and bees from being drawn to the lavish
selection of munchie-foods Kevin and Lori had made—everything from
fresh fruit and vegetables through cold meat and devilled eggs to
cookies and tarts. The witches had also talked a couple of barn
swallows into hanging around to take care of any biting flies and
the mosquitoes that would soon start to show up as the sun dipped
lower; there were bats living in a bat house that could be coaxed
into taking over after dark.

Okay, so bugs
have their place, ‘specially the bees and ants because they're
helping with the yard, but having a picnic with them? That'd be
annoying.

The sun was
pleasantly warm without being too hot, and the ground was dry
enough that they could all simply lounge on the grass. Not far
away, the fountain they'd had to pay a plumber to fix played
cheerfully, glittering in the sunlight; all the other improvements
on the yard, she and Deanna and Liam and the three witches had
done. Beds of plants with bright flowers and pleasant scents would
continue to bloom in sequence right through until fall—Naomi, who
grew houseplants and spices to sell, was especially good at that,
except with the colours, obviously—and vivid little green
hummingbirds flitted around them right along with the heavy
bumblebees and graceful butterflies. The rock garden was well on
the way to being repaired, though she couldn't see that from here.
It would take them
years
to do everything they'd thought of,
but for the moment, they'd made a satisfying beginning.

"I would not,
for anything, be a wolf," Nick said idly; sprawled on his back with
an arm over his eyes, Gisela thought he looked like a contented
cat. "Off running around and introducing Jess to the other packs is
not my idea of fun, when I can be right here."

Sonja giggled,
and fed him a green grape before eating one herself. "Lazy."

"He has a
point," Flynn said. "Between lying in the sun with the elvenmage
idea of a light snack and friends to whom you have nothing to
prove, or running all over Haven and having to worry about who's
alpha and who's got more status than whom and all the rest of that
junk, I'll take being right here any day."

"We'd be in an
awful lot of trouble without them," Deanna pointed out, just a bit
sleepily, leaning back against Cynthia's raised knees while the
witch braided and unbraided her dark hair just for the sake of
playing with it.

"Nobody said
anything about not appreciating them," Naomi said, and gave Gwyn
another bite of mock chicken. "Just being glad not to
be
them. I don't understand how they can put up with it, either."

"Within one
pack, it isn't so bad," Sam said. Alfari sniffed at her plate, and
helped herself to a slice of ham, dragging it off onto the grass.
Sam just sighed indulgently, and glanced at the bowl of water that
had been left in the shade of the table for Alfari and Gwyn,
probably making sure it was still reasonably full. "It's only with
so many all in the same place that it gets crazy. Packs become
groups of friends instead of family units, and family members are
in different packs. All the really complicated stuff keeps them
from fighting every time they come within scent range of each
other."

"We all
know
they have to do all that, and why," Flynn said. "And
unfortunately, no one has come up yet with a better alternative. If
there are lots of elves and dryads and gifted humans together,
there are going to be lots of wolves, too."

"We certainly
hope so," Kevin muttered, as he got comfortable again near Lori
with another plate of food for them both to nibble on.

"Spread the
elves and dryads and gifted humans out enough to give the wolves
lots of space, and what do you get? No Haven, no college, just a
lot of hiding from the neighbours and isolation from others who can
understand."

"Without the
college, finding a coven would be almost impossible," Nick said.
"You'd get small groups with minimal contact." He'd come here to
the college from Ravenrock in British Columbia on the west coast,
Sonja had come from Falias in Newfoundland on the east coast, and
Evaline and Liam were both native to Haven; Bryan and Lori were
from Haven, but Naomi had come here from Endor. Gisela could
definitely see his point. Sundark was the closest she could think
of to a coven all from a single village, but Flynn had come from
outside the villages, and Cynthia had lived here with family only
since high school: her parents had an extraordinary chance at
working in renewable energy research but taking their witch
daughter to live in a Toronto suburb would have made her sick and
miserable. Of course, her highly perceptive parents being in
Scarborough worked out just as well for Flynn and his mother...

"We need the
villages and the college," Lori seconded. "Even the covens that
live on their own in other places keep at least loosely in contact,
and a lot of that is through the villages being the core of the
whole network. It'd be nice if it weren't so hard on the
wolves..."

"But they've
adapted," Sam said. "That's the whole point of all the elaborate
rules about social status and behaviour. Most wolves have no
trouble with that. Adult wolves spend the majority of their time
with pack and coven, encounter each other mostly on neutral ground,
have clear rules on how to handle those encounters, and everything
is fine. No particular stress. It's just the odd anomaly... 'Fari,
leave me some, would you?... the odd anomaly who can't make that
adjustment, and then you get all the stress and irrational
antisocial behaviour and such."

Gisela saw
Kevin and Deanna both wince.

"I am still,"
Nick said, "glad I'm not a wolf."

"I suspect the
wolves are glad they aren't anything else," Liam said quietly; he
was sitting as still as only a dryad could, watching a small pale
yellow butterfly that had landed on his arm. "I've heard Eva say
things a few too many times along the lines of,
I wish you could
come run with us, it's too bad you can't
. While we're all lying
here being glad we're here instead of there, they're probably
feeling sorry for us for exactly the same reason."