Blackthorn [3] Blood Torn (43 page)

As soon as Jask stepped out of the recess, she slammed the packets hard against his chest before drawing back her fist ready to punch him in the face.

But Jask was too quick, blocking her easily, keeping a hold of her wrist as she swiped at him with the other hand. This time she managed to catch his face before shoving him in the chest, but only because he had no choice but to let her unless he dropped the packets.

And it made her feel sick. It made her feel sick to her very core that she could lash out at him. Made her feel even sicker to know
why
she felt sick.

‘You knew, didn’t you?’ she said. ‘You knew Caleb was a serryn hunter. You knew and you didn’t tell me.’

His azure eyes widened.

‘She told me,’ Sophia all but hissed. ‘The witch told me. You fucking
knew
. Deny it. Deny it!’

‘Yes, I knew.’

She wrenched her wrist from his grip. ‘If I’m right, if Leila did go there, she’s dead, isn’t she?’

He held her gaze, his brow furrowed. ‘You don’t know that.’

‘No,’ she said, fighting tears of panic, of anger. ‘But I will. Take your fucking turmeric, Jask,’ she said, abruptly turning away. ‘We’re done.’

He caught up with her, grabbed her arm, pulling her to a standstill. ‘Where are you going?’

‘Where do you think?’

‘No,’ he said. ‘You’re not.’

‘You got what you wanted,’ she said, trying to free herself. He’d got
exactly
what he wanted – and her heart tore at the acknowledgement of it. ‘You got your precious spices. So go and save your pack, Jask. I’m saving my sisters. Or
sister
if that’s all I have left. And I’m fucking killing Caleb Dehain if he has touched either one of them.’

She yanked her arm free again, but Jask caught hold of her again as he shoved the packets in his coat pockets.

‘You’re not going anywhere near that place,’ he said, pinning her back against the dank, graffiti-emblazoned wall. ‘Even if you could, look around – it’s nearly dawn. The Dehain club will be on total lockdown. So unless you can penetrate armoured steel, you’re going to calm down and get that insane idea out of your head.’

‘And would it be insane if it was someone you cared about in there?’

‘There will be someone I care about in there if I let you do this.’

Sophia exhaled tersely, it already hurting too much to hear more of his lies, his treachery.

Like everyone else, he had used her.

She pushed against him but was forced to relent as he only held her tighter against the wall.

‘We will get to your sisters,’ he said. ‘But we’ll do it together. Later.’

‘I don’t need your help.’

‘The fact you say that tells me that’s exactly what you need.’

‘Get over yourself, Jask. Who saved your pack, huh? You? No. Me. You needed me, remember?’

‘I know,’ he said. ‘And I still do.’

‘For what now? You got what you wanted, Jask. We’re done,’ she said curtly, finally shoving him away.

‘That easily?’ he called after her.

‘Yes, that easily,’ she said. ‘That’s what happens when people lie to me.’

‘I didn’t lie to you.’

She spun to face him. ‘You didn’t tell me the truth because you wanted me focused so you could get your job done. Fuck me, fuck my sisters, this was about you – you and your precious pack. You
used
me.’

‘I didn’t even know about your sisters being there until a couple of hours ago, remember?’

‘But before, you made me believe you cared, before those lies slipped from your lips. Because if you
did
care, you would have told me then. You would have made my sisters your priority. We could have gone around there straight away before letting me waste a whole other day. Your pack has time. My sisters don’t.’

‘It was too late by then. We would never have got there in time. And I saw no point in giving you another day of distress. I was going to tell you tomorrow night.’

But she wasn’t going to hear it. She wasn’t going to stand by and listen to his excuses. She turned away again, her clouded vision focused only on the exit ahead.

‘Have you any idea what it took me to trust you to do this?’ he called after her. ‘Do you think it was easy for me handing over that kind of responsibility?’

She clenched her jaw, kept marching with no idea where she was going to go, what she was going to do next – as long as it was away from Jask and away from the pain of his betrayal.

‘You really can’t see it, can you?’ he called out.

Just as she reached the exit, she spun to face him again. ‘See what, Jask? What seems plainly obvious to me?’ She took a steadying breath, clenched her hands before splaying them, composing herself. ‘Do you know what hurts most? I went in there to prove I was good enough for
you
, do you know that? And I was proud –
proud
with the way I handled myself. Do you know how many times I’ve been proud of myself, Jask? Not once.’ She pressed her lips together and exhaled through her nose, fighting back the tears. ‘And for once I didn’t feel like a fake hiding behind a selfish tirade of vengeance whilst pretending it’s for some other cause. What I did in there, I did for
you
. And that’s why I’m walking away, Jask. I’m walking away with my head held up because I’m
not
going back to what I was just because
you
have hurt me more than I would have thought possible. You ask me if I know what it took for you to trust me – well, do you know what it took for me to trust
you
? Because if you do, I’ve not just been a fool,
you
have.’

She turned away again, only a few more steps from getting away, fighting her tight throat with every shallow breath.

‘I love you, Phia.’

She snatched back a breath.

He silently closed the gap between them, until she could feel the breath on her neck, sense that scent of earth and rain exuding from him.

‘Is that not obvious to you?’ he asked, catching hold of her arm again.

His touch made her falter again. The reassurance of his strength. The comfort of his proximity.

‘Let me go,’ she said, breaking free as he relaxed his grip.

‘I can’t do that,’ he called after her as she walked away. ‘Because I do love you, Sophie. I meant what I said back in that room. I knew it from the first moment I saw you.’

She stopped again. But she couldn’t turn to face him.

‘Damaged, chaotic, stubborn – and I love you,’ he added. ‘And I’ll keep telling you until it seeps in. You keep walking and all you’re doing is walking away from that. But that’s what you always do, isn’t it? You walk away when it really matters. When something
really
matters to you. You
know
I’m telling you the truth. You just hate yourself too much to believe it.’

She pressed her lips together, her throat constricting as she fought back the tears.

‘What happened to your mother is
not
your fault,’ he said. ‘And you need to forgive that unruly kid if you’re ever going to get over this. However misled your actions have been since then, you tried to make it better.’

As a tear trickled down her cheek, she let it roll, refusing to wipe it away for fear of him knowing she was crying.

‘Because you’re a fighter, Sophie,’ he added. ‘You’re strong and you’re fiery and you’re brave. You’re beautiful and you’re funny and you’re compassionate. And you deserve better than this. Than all of this.

‘I know you’re not ready to believe it,’ he added. ‘Just like I wasn’t. Until I met you I thought I could never love again. But here I am, yelling it down an alley because I am not letting you go without a fight. You said you’re not the same, so prove it. Prove you’re not the scared little girl anymore and turn and face me like the woman I know you are. Because that woman has changed me too, Sophie. That woman has made me fall in love again. So
don’t
you dare walk away from me.’

She stared ahead as the dawn light reflected in the puddles, the breeze lightly caressing her face. His words were too powerful, too overwhelming for her not to question his motivation. ‘Then why? Why didn’t you tell me about Caleb?’

‘I told you: I tried to do what was best for you.’

‘It wasn’t your decision to make.’

‘You don’t just walk into the Dehains’ club. It takes time, planning. Neither of which we had by the time you told me. If your sisters are in there, and you want them out alive, if
you
want to stay alive, then it’s going to take more than storming in there with a bad attitude. Battles aren’t always about bloodshed or being the most brutal or the loudest. Some of the best battles are strategic. About being smarter than your enemy.’

She rubbed a tear away with the heel of her hand before she turned around. ‘But why me? Why, when there are countless of your own kind who would gladly give themselves to you?’

‘Because you’re what I want.’

‘Why?’

He stepped up to her. ‘Because you’re petulant, irritating, hard to handle, impulsive, naïve. All of the above – and I
still
want to be with you. Because no one else makes me feel more like myself. No one makes me feel more alive.’

She shook her head. ‘But there’s no way we can be together, Jask. Me just being with you is putting your pack at risk. More than ever now. I’m not worth it.’

‘I’ll decide that.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘Because I’m making the decision for you.’

‘Because you care about me too, don’t you? And that means I will protect you whatever it takes. You’re part of my pack now, Sophie. You’re a part of me. And your sisters are too important to you to make a snap decision and go ploughing in there.’ He stepped in front of her and cupped her face. ‘We’ll do this together.’

‘But nothing ever lasts with me, Jask. I’m bad on the inside. I always have been. You don’t deserve to have your world torn apart by me. And that’s what would happen. I tear everything apart in the end and tear another part of me by doing it. I can’t do that to myself. And I can’t hurt you. What happened back in that alley was just the start. And even if I save my sisters, we’ll never get back into Summerton. Not as the family we were. I can’t join them – not with what I am now. It’ll be Lowtown at best. And it’s only a matter of time before the proximity makes the cravings too much.’

‘You still have a choice.’

‘I
don’t
have a choice, Jask,’ she said. ‘Any more than you do over what you are. And there’s certainly no medication to contain
my
condition – only to get as far away from vampires as I can. Only now that’ll be impossible. I’m tired, Jask. I just want this to be over. I want my life back.’

He held her gaze for a moment before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out his phone.

She stared down at it before looking into his eyes.

‘Call them,’ he said.

She didn’t know whether to cry in relief or punch him. ‘You’ve had the phone this whole time?’

‘If you need to call them, then call them. Maybe I was wrong to protect you. And yes, part of my reasoning was that I was scared I’d lose you if something had happened. But be quick – the battery is nearly dead.’

She took the phone off him, shocked at how much she trembled, how much her stomach wrenched. The truth was on the end of the call. Another night without Leila answering would be proof something had gone horribly wrong.

She stared down at the screen then looked back at Jask. ‘What if neither answer?’

‘You need to know.’

It took her a moment to recall it then she typed in Leila’s number.

The phone rang. And rang.

She glanced up at Jask then leaned back against the wall for support, her fingers knotted in her hair. She was all ready to try Alisha’s mobile number instead, when the phone clicked.

‘Hello?’

Sophia slammed her hand over her mouth, anything to hold back the tears. She took a deep breath, the knot tightening at the back of her throat.

‘Sophie?’ Leila asked. ‘Sophie, is that you?’

‘Lei.’ It was all she could say – all she could bring herself to say.

She heard Leila gasp at the end of the phone – her big sister clearly not as reluctant as her to contain her tears.

‘You’re okay!’ Leila exclaimed.

‘I’m okay,’ she said. ‘You?’

‘Okay,’ she said, ‘doing okay.’

‘Alisha?’

‘Alisha’s fine. Sophie, where are you?’

‘I’m in Blackthorn.’

‘Where?’

She looked at Jask. He shook his head to her disclosing her location. ‘Safe,’ she said. ‘Lei, I don’t have long. Is Alisha with you?’

Silence was the last thing she needed.

‘Lei? Is she still at the club?’

There was another moment of silence. ‘How do you know?’

‘You saved him, didn’t you? You saved Jake Dehain.’

‘And you were the one who tried to kill him.’

Sophia ran her fingers back through her hair as the pieces fell into place for both of them. ‘What happened? Did you escape?’

‘He let me go.’

Sophia glanced at Jask. She frowned in disbelief. ‘He let you go? And Alisha? Please tell me she’s with you.’

There was a moment’s hesitation. ‘She’s still there.’

Sophie stood upright from the wall. Her heart wrenched. ‘You left her behind?’

‘Because I had no choice. Sophie, this is more complicated that you know.’

Sophia rested her head back against the wall. It was all the confirmation she needed that it was all down to her. ‘Alisha was in Blackthorn because of me, wasn’t she? Just as you came to Blackthorn because of me.’

‘Soph, that’s not important right now.’

She heard the first of the beeps, telling her the battery was fast waning.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Lei? Why didn’t you tell me what you were?’

‘I’m sorry.’

But she couldn’t be angry. She was not going to turn the blame on Leila this time. Leila who was still alive. Both of them still alive because Leila had fallen in love with a vampire. Leila who, for some reason, somehow, against every principle she had ever known her have, had consummated that love.