BLAKE: Captive to the Dark (21 page)

“You need me to hurt you.”

My eyes glanced over to connect with his. The hunger made me instantly wet. “It’s not just about the pain, Sir. You did plenty with your crop earlier. I need something more. I used to cut to make it go away, but I really don’t want to get started in that again. Especially since you just…did it and it didn’t work as well as I thought it would. There has to be another way. Can you help me?”

“
Absolutely, kitten. Now, eat. We’ll go over that later.”

Deflated, I
obeyed. Couldn’t we talk about it now? I was asking for his help and he should provide it. Like…right this minute.

Keeping quiet and not lashing out when all I wanted to do was smash my
soup against the wall, was killing me. Patience wasn’t a virtue any more than speaking my mind was. If I didn’t hold them in, both were going to get me into trouble. No more steps back. I had to keep trying.

The soup disappeared while I stayed focused on keeping calm.
The moment I finished, Blake swept my bowl away to the sink and turned, facing me. “Tonight, you’re going to get plenty of release, Kaitlyn. Stop pouting. I’ll fuck all that emotion away until you’re nothing but a content little slave cuddled in my arms. Now, smile, we’re off to do some shopping. Grab your jacket, it’s cold as hell outside.”

“Shopping? Didn’t you just get back from doing that?”

He looked over at me almost disappointed. “I’d never leave you here alone while restrained, Kaitlyn. I had a friend of mine drop everything off.” He grabbed the keys, leading me to the closet by the front door. “Besides, we’re not going for clothes. Something a hell of a lot better.” Blake didn’t care to elaborate as he walked me to the car and opened my door. The kiss he placed against my cold cheek once again made me come alive, but it was gone just as fast as it came.

The engine turned over and I buckled up, pulling the restraint tight. I glanced in his direction as he
pulled the car around and turned onto the road. The smile present on his face was one that was contagious. I couldn’t help but mirror his expression. The anxiety inside somewhat vanished and I let myself live in the moment. My Master was happy. That meant something. I’d be happy, too.

Chapter 15

Blake

The large sporting store I p
arked in front of had Kaitlyn looking over at me, amused. Her eyebrow rose as her smile grew.

“Better than clothes, huh?”

“Definitely.” I laughed and came around to her side, closing the door she had just climbed out of. My arm instantly wrapped around her. A protective gesture, but one that also allowed my feelings to pour through. Her arm settling around my waist was utter bliss. It’d been too long since we’d connected intimately. Not since I’d made love to her and she’d ruined the growing bond by attempting to cut herself.

The deer blinds and hunting
supplies were displayed around the double-door entrance. Kaitlyn slowed as she took them in.

“Come, kitten. Let’s not linger too long. We still have quite the workout left after we return
home.” Yes.
Home.
Our home. I still couldn’t believe I’d actually collared her. I’d bought it on a whim. Never had I thought it’d ever be used. Not with anyone.

“More?” The shock didn’t go unnoticed
. I could tell she was having a hard enough time walking, but it would fade. Each day she’d be sore, yet grow stronger.

I leaned down
, kissing her forehead as she continued to stare up at me. It was something that came natural and I immediately cursed myself. When had I gotten so soft? I didn’t mind showing her affection, but I couldn’t disillusion her. Things still needed to continue as they were as far as our living situation and training went. I couldn’t let her believe they’d change any time soon.

“Yes. More.
Your routine is going to be simple. Run in the morning, sit in front of the mirror for at least half an hour afterward, and then take a shower. After lunch, you’ll do more looking in the mirror, train in self-defense until I feel you’ve had enough, and then it’ll be back to the mirror. The rest of the day will depend on how I feel you’re doing.”

Kaitlyn’s lips twisted
the slightest amount. “Yes, Sir.” The mumble was so quiet I barely heard it. It made me happy. Even though she didn’t appear to like it, she was compliant.

“Good girl.”

The aisles of equipment contained a different range of workout gear and I immediately headed for the one that held the weights. I had my own collection, but nothing Kaitlyn could use with ease. The ten pound plastic handheld ones would be perfect. I picked them up, testing the heaviness. They were nothing. It felt like I was lifting damn air.

“Perfect.” I grabbed another
. “These should be good. What else do we need?” I scanned the aisle, placing my arm back around her as I moved us to the next one over.

“Sir,” Kaitlyn lowered her voice. “I have to go to the restroom.” 

I immediately glanced toward the entrance. “I think they’re in the front. That’ll be good. I should have grabbed a basket anyway.”

As we walked through the crowded department store, I took in everything. There wasn’t a moment I let my guard down. The prickling at the back of my neck made me even more on edge. The feeling
that we were being watched didn’t escape my notice.

“Make it quick.” I stood a few feet away as Kailyn rushed through the door. I took the time to walk a few feet away and grab a cart. From what I could see
, nothing was out of the ordinary, but that didn’t mean no one was there. I didn’t like this. Didn’t like it at all. Seldom was I wrong concerning intuition. Someone was watching, but who? Why? It was hard to say. Did they have their sights set on me or Kaitlyn? Both of us? Until I spotted them, there was no telling.

I looked down at my watch. Another hour and the sun would
set. My plan for some outdoor training would have to wait until tomorrow. That was fine. I had something better in mind for tonight. Something that was bound to be a lot more delicious than watching Kaitlyn’s ass in her workout pants. Damn, that was killing me. It was the ultimate test on my control. My cock was so desperate to be inside of her that I was having a hard time deciding what head I wanted to use.

The door swung open and Kaitlyn smiled at me as she approached. I glanced around
, seeing if anyone stuck out at her arrival. Nothing.

“You push
.”

Her
smile faded and she nodded. That had come out rather harsh, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted both hands free at all times. If I couldn’t hold her, I wasn’t going to miss being able to protect her with everything I could.

W
e walked past the women’s apparel and I grabbed a few things, throwing them in the basket. I knew her size and most of the racks were in order. It wasn’t hard to grab the first damn thing resting in the front. Small. I wanted to growl. I was hoping she’d put on more weight by now. She hadn’t. Not with her working out. It had turned into muscle. Eventually, I’d get her body curvier. Just the way I wanted.

“Sir, don’t I have enough things?”

Kaitlyn’s voice pulled my attention from scanning the surroundings. “No. We’re building you a wardrobe. Your shit wouldn’t fit in a quarter of the closet. Besides,” I glanced around, not being able to shake the feeling that someone was close. “Don’t start giving me a hard time about what I buy you. That’s my choice, not yours.”

We entered one of the aisles and I didn’t even pay attention to half the stuff I threw in the basket. Before I knew it
, I was leading her to the shoe department and tossing in three different kinds. Kaitlyn remained quiet as I nodded toward the front of the store. Movement caught the corner of my eye and I acted like I was searching for something as I looked over.

A man dressed in a
blue shirt with khakis stood in the middle of the store, glancing through the men’s clothing. His dark hair was styled short and I took in his dark eyes and goatee. The black jacket he wore was pulled back at the side, showing he had his hand in his pocket. He looked like the typical everyday shopper, except he threw off red flags. I watched as he glanced over at us and went back to scanning the long sleeve camo shirts.

As we walked closer to the front, I changed sides
, giving me a better view from my peripheral vision. Slowly, he moved up until he was breaching into the women’s section.

“Last register
, closest to the door.”

“But
, that one is packed.” Kaitlyn looked up at me, but kept walking when I didn’t answer. She appeared dead on her feet and our pace had slowed considerably. The moment she stopped, she turned to me. “Did I do something to upset you, Sir?” The low tone was thick with uncertainty. I pulled her into my body and hugged her to me.

“No, kitten.” My head lowered until it was right next to her ear. “We’re being watched. I want you to do everything I say no matter what it is. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” Immediately her head went down. I expected her to look around. To make it obvious. She did anything but.

“Good girl.” I smiled and kissed her head.

The line slowly moved up and I continued to watch, pretending I was impatient. I found my man a few aisles over standing in line holding a T-shirt. His eyes were averted, but I could tell he was keeping me within sight, using the same tactics I had.

“
Sir, is he here for me?”

H
air was covering Kaitlyn’s face, making it impossible for me to look at her. So that’s why she hadn’t looked around to see who I was talking about. That damn scar again. My hand rested under her chin as I lifted her head.

“I don’t know, but if you put your head down any more,
I’ll cut your hair off when we get home.”

The absolute horror that flashed across her features told me just how insecure she
still was. I couldn’t have that.
She
couldn’t. Not if she was ever going to get over this. It might have been a cruel tactic to use, but it wasn’t a threat. I
would
cut her hair if I knew it would make her better.

“There. Now stay like that. You look gorgeous.” I kissed the top of her head, once again catching myself. This time it was justified. I wanted her to know how proud I was. How beautiful I thought she was.

The line moved up until I was eventually paying, but not before the man who’d been watching. He walked past and headed for the main doors as the cashier continued to place our bags in the cart. I guided Kaitlyn with my hand on her lower back. Every time she slowed, I gave her a little nudge. It was imperative I not lose this guy.

I unlocked the car, scanning the parking lot. The s
tranger was nowhere in sight. I cursed under my breath and closed the door behind my slave as I helped her in. Now, where was this bastard? I popped the trunk continuing to take everything in. By the time I was finished…nothing.

“Where the fuck are you?” My words were ripped away by the frigid wind. A bag blew in the distance and I tore my gaze from it as I climbed in the car.
“Keep your eyes peeled, kitten. I don’t want this bastard following us home. I’ll detour and see if we can shake him loose.”

I left the crowded parking lot nowhere near the speed I wanted. When I should have headed left, I turned right. Four cars were in line behind me and as I turned onto the main road
, I watched each one. Two SUV’s, both silvery gray, a red truck, and a small white car.

“Sir, you weren’t serio
us about my hair, were you? You wouldn’t really cut it, right?”

I glanced over. “
Have I not followed through on every threat?”

She looked down.

“If I feel like you’re using it as cover, it comes off. You’ve been working too hard to resort to something like that. Beautiful, remember?”

Kaitlyn pressed her lips together.

“Talk. You’re not going to hold it in.” I glanced back and checked the mirrors as I switched lanes.

“I
just don’t see it. I know I used to be beautiful, but now...” She flipped the visor down and stared into the mirror. “All I see is a big scar covering my face. It’s there, Sir. It’s not going away anytime soon and I want it to. You say you want me to feel beautiful. How can I do that knowing I have the option for it to disappear? I want it gone. Why should I have to keep it if I don’t have to?” Kaitlyn’s eyes glanced in the side mirror, checking behind us. It appeared she was actually still paying attention to the fact that someone could be following us.

“You’ll keep it because I don’t want you to get rid of it.”

“But, why?” The volume of her voice increased. “Why would you want a damaged slave? I could really be beautiful for you. Better than I ever was. Yet, you want me to stay scarred. Please, make me understand. You say you think I look good this way, that’s it. There has to be more because I could be a hell of a lot prettier if you’d only let me.”

I clenched my jaw and made a U-turn, making sure to watch the vehicles behind me. Nothing. Had I been wrong? Damn, I usually wasn’t concerning these things.

“Kaitlyn, listen.” I looked over at her, giving my slave the attention she deserved concerning such a sensitive topic for her. Although I kept my focus on the road, I made sure to glance at her as much as I could. “Your scar defines who you are
now
. What you’ve survived.” I paused. “I’ve already told you this.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

My head tilted. “That’s bull. It’s a damn good reason. It’s how I first saw you, kitten. Who I…” I turned back to the road. “You’re keeping it.” My beast roared within.
Who I fell in love with.
Had I almost told her that?

“I don’t want it.” The stubbornness in her voice had my eyes cutting over.

“Do you think I give a shit? It stays.”

Kaitlyn’s hands crossed over her chest and she turned, facing the window. For the life of me
, I didn’t understand why it was so hard for her to accept. Maybe because I was a guy. Maybe I just didn’t understand her thought process well enough. I knew her face had been her life. I wasn’t naive to that. A part of me just couldn’t see how a scar was such a setback. It wasn’t. She should be proud of who she is. I was proud to have her belong to me. To be seen with her. Shit, if she knew how much…or what I saw when I looked at her…she’d forget about the slight discoloration in a heartbeat.

“I want to have your hair cut.” I looked over at her, waiting for some sign of fear to appear in the form of tensing shoulders or a terror filled expression to mask her face. All I got was the cold shoulder. Well, that wasn’t going to do. “I’m talking to you, Kaitlyn. I’m more asking right now. Don’t make me hold you down and do it myself. It might come out a disaster if that’s the case.”

Slowly, she turned. “You’re the Master. If you want my hair cut, that’s your choice. Just know that what I see is never going to change no matter how many hours I log in front of that mirror or how much of my hair you cut off.”

So damn stubborn. “Oh, you’re going to accept yourself if I have to put a mirror on every inch of the inside of our home.” And I fucking would if it came down to it.

The miles went by while we stayed quiet. No doubt both of us were fuming over the thoughts of the other. Well, I knew
I
wasn’t bending. She would accept herself. End of story. Time was the only obstacle.