Blessed Assurance (14 page)

The scene from the night before—Lee holding her in his arms—swooped into Jessie's mind. The passion she'd felt in his arms sluiced
through her senses, undiluted by the passing of the night. How glad she was that she'd stepped away. She'd been playing with fire last night. Never again.

Jessie spoke, her voice shaking: “I will never take the chance you did. I knew when I lost Will, I would raise Linc alone. My son can't have his father, but he will have me—all of me. I will never remarry.”
Lee, there will be no more kisses in the dark.

“Jessie, please don't say that. If not Mr. Smith, what about that doctor?”

“He has never said anything about courting me. I think he's come to realize it's not possible.” Jessie hoped she was speaking the truth. She didn't want an embarrassing scene with Dr. Gooden.

“Daughter, I've made my mistakes. Don't make decisions for your life based on mine. God has given you a life different from mine. You are very different than I. You have more fire and spirit.”

Jessie looked at her mother. She didn't quite understand what her mother meant. She knew she'd only wanted to be the wife of Will Wagstaff and nothing had changed that.

 

Linc held up his small slate board. “Mother, look Mr. Smith helped me with my arithmetic.”

Jessie sat at the end of the dining table, knitting another pair of socks for Linc. In the heat of the room, she wondered if the cooling autumn winds would ever come. “That's good, Linc.” She smiled mechanically. “Now why don't you go do your problems sitting by Butch?”

Miss Wright dozed in a rocking chair. By the window Mr. Chaney was reading an evening paper while Esther read her Bible. She had not realized how irritating Mrs. Bolt had been until they were free of her. Eileene Greenleigh had been correct in her advice. The circle of people around the table provided more of what a growing boy needed.

Jessie hoped the steady clicking of her needles would calm her. Linc shouldn't be allowed to become any closer to Mr. Smith. And she needed to distance herself, too. How?

The front door opened with a bang. “I'm here to get my wife.” Hiram's voice shattered their tranquillity. Jessie dropped her knitting. Esther hopped up and started for the kitchen.

“Don't run away, Mrs. Huff,” Lee said. He rose. Mr. Chaney, folding his paper, also moved to stand beside Lee in front of the women. Hiram stalked in.

“Good evening, Mr. Huff,” Lee said.

Ignoring Lee, Hiram tried to push past him. Jessie felt her pulse race.

Lee's arm shot out, checking the other man. “I said good evening.”

Hiram shifted his attention to Lee. “I'm here to take my wife home where she belongs.”

Jessie opened her mouth, but was cut off.

“At the moment Mrs. Huff's home is here.” Lee stood firm, blocking the other man's path.

“This has—” Hiram jabbed his finger into Lee's shirtfront with each syllable—“no-thing-to-do-with-you.”

Jessie stood up and Esther took a few steps back.

“Hiram Huff, you are just like your mother.” Miss Wright's strident voice startled them all. “Your mother moved here and into my fourth grade and she was an officious little brat even then.”

Jessie couldn't believe her ears.

At first, even Hiram's shocked response stuck and garbled in his throat, then he declared, “This has nothing to do with my mother.”

“It has everything to do with why you have lost one of the sweetest wives in Chicago. Esther is a saint because only a saint could have stayed married to you for over twenty years.”

Hiram's face turned a beefy red. “Esther, I'm taking you home tonight.”

Esther drew herself up, “Hiram, when you decide to keep your vows to me, I will come home.”

“You are making no sense.” Pushing Lee aside, Hiram started forward again, but halted when Mr. Chaney moved between Hiram and his wife.

“It's simple,” Esther continued, “I want your love, Hiram, and not only for me, but for my three children, too.”

“Your children. Hah! A lot you cared for your children. Leaving them alone while I went to work. I can't believe you abandoned them like that.”

Jessie shook, holding back hot words.

Esther said, “I would have brought them with me if I had the wherewithal to provide for them. But I couldn't expect my widowed daughter to take in two more mouths to feed.”

“The twins are always welcome,” Jessie said with all the dignity she could muster.

“Keep out of this, missy,” Hiram growled. “This is all your fault. You're the one who drove a wedge between me and my wife.”

“No, she isn't,” Esther said.

“Esther, if you persist in this folly, I will make certain you never see your sons again.”

Esther blanched and covered her mouth with her hand.

“I think we've had enough of you tonight,” Lee said, then took Hiram by the back of his collar and seat of his pants and propelled him past Susan and out the front door.

Jessie couldn't stop shaking.

Lee returned, dusting his hands. “I've wanted to do that ever since I met that man.”

Ruby stepped into the room. “Miss Esther, you come in the kitchen. I make you a cup a tea.” Esther, wiping away tears, agreed and followed Ruby. Mr. Chaney bid them all a tactful good night and went upstairs.

Jessie heaved herself back into her chair. “I feel as though I have just run a mile.”

“Strong emotion always takes its toll,” Miss Wright said.

Lee rounded on her. “You, our dear Miss Wright, deserve an award. No one else could have said what you did and have gotten away with it.”

Miss Wright let a momentary hint of a smile flutter over her features. “The man's a fool, but that doesn't help our dear Esther.
He will keep her from her boys and he will make her as miserable as he is able.”

“I'm afraid he is a top hand at making people miserable,” Jessie said bleakly.

Miss Wright struggled to her feet. “Only God can melt a heart of stone like Hiram Huff's.”

“But so far God hasn't seen fit to act.” Jessie massaged her neck muscles with one hand.

Miss Wright turned to her. “If you start telling God what to do or if you let yourself hate Hiram Huff, you'll be no better than he is. And I don't care what you think, that
is
what Margaret would say.”

Jessie stared at the old woman in surprise.

Miss Wright grunted with pain and hobbled from the room, but tonight even her cane thumping was subdued.

“Are you all right, Jess?” Lee sat down in the chair beside her.

His closeness made her feel like a canary with a tomcat at its cage door. “I'm fine. I thought my stepfather would come sometime, and he'll come again.” She stood.

“Most likely. But you aren't alone.” He stretched out his hand to take hers.

Jessie ignored this gesture. She didn't want to be alone with Mr. Smith. “I'm going to the kitchen to help Ruby and Susan comfort my mother.”

Looking disconcerted, Lee shoved his hands into his pockets. “I'll go out and keep Linc and Butch company.”

They both passed through to the kitchen. He went on out the back door while Jessie sat down in the chair next to her mother.

“Miss Jessie, you want some tea, too?” Ruby asked from the stove where she stood by the kettle making the thrumming sound of water near boiling.

“No, thank you, Ruby.”

“Grandma, you come sit down,” Susan said. “I'll make the tea.”

“You ironed all day long,” Ruby objected. “Sit. I'm too old to do much but I kin still boil water.”

Esther wiped her eyes with a lacy handkerchief. “I'm so sorry, Jessie. I don't know what poor Mr. Chaney thought of such a scene.”

“Don't worry, Mother. He seemed to take it in stride.”

“He a nice boy, that's for sure.” Ruby shuffled ponderously, carrying the steaming tea kettle to the table and set it on a cast iron trivet.

“I surely was glad he and Mr. Smith was here.” Susan folded her arms over her breast. “But don't you fret. We'll make sure that husband of yours don't fine you alone.”

“Best he not fine her here a-tall,” Ruby spoke up, surprising Jessie.

“Grandma,” Susan scolded.

“I don't mean what you thinking. I mean this lady should shake that man up good. Let him know she ain't gone put up with his orneriness no more.”

“What do you mean, Ruby?” Esther dried the last of her tears.

“I mean he think you depending on him alone. He think he just need to talk and talk and get mad and finally you come home.”

“Yes,” Jessie encouraged.

Ruby pointed to Esther with her free hand. “You need to get you some new clothes and wear them where he kin see you. You need a new bonnet, new gloves. You need to make him see that you ain't gone just sit around crying over him.”

“But how?” Esther asked.

“You go get you a job.” Ruby nodded with each of her words. “Not cooking or cleaning—get something at one of them big stores I seen downtown. That'll make him worry.” Ruby poured out the steaming water into the teacups.

Could Ruby be right?
Jessie wondered.

Ruby sat down and picked up her teacup.

“I'll do it,” Esther said quietly.

“A job? Mother, I don't want—“

Esther sat up straighter. “Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Jessie. Hiram's done that for twenty-three years. Besides I don't
want to be dependent on you and you don't need me with Susan and Ruby to help you around here—”

“Mother—”

“No, Hiram Huff thinks I'll come crawling back to him. If I take a job and begin making my own way in the world, maybe he'll take me seriously. In any event it'll give me something more to do than cry all the time.” She smiled at Ruby. “Thank you.”

Lee and Linc came in. “Linc's homework is done. I'm going to walk him to his room.”

“I'll come, too.” Jessie stood up. Maybe now would be a good time to tell Mr. Smith that she wanted him to begin distancing himself from her son. Unless he'd decided to reveal the truth. The three of them walked through the dining room to the foyer. Linc submitted to having his hair ruffled by Lee and to being kissed by his mother. Then he went into their half of the curtained-divided parlor. Jessie slid the pocket door nearly shut. Then she found herself face-to-face with Lee.

“I'd like to talk to you privately,” Lee murmured.

“I need to stable the goat. Would you like to come with me?” Jessie led him outside.

Lee felt awkward. Maybe it was due to Hiram Huff's visit. Jess untied the goat from her stake. In the alley, Lee propped open the shed door and Jessie led the goat in. The musky smell of goat surrounded them and the chickens were already tutting in their roost for the night. Jessie murmured soothing sounds to the nanny as she tied her rope to the ring in the wall.

“Jess, tomorrow I begin training for a position in Gentlemen's Finer Attire at Field & Leiter's.”

“I don't care what you are now. What were you?”

“Jess.” His right arm hooked the inside of her elbow and swept her into his arms.

She tried to push herself out of his arms.

“Please listen, Jess. Today I turned over a new leaf. I'm going to prove to you I'm worthy—”

“You don't have to prove anything to me. Just tell me the truth.” Her eyes avoided his.

“The truth is I'm not the same man I was when I came to Chicago. The past doesn't matter to us—only the future, our future together,” he said persuasively.

Pulling away, Jessie scattered fresh straw over the floor.

“It's hard to put my feelings into words because I never thought I would ever say them to anyone. Jess, will you be my wife?”

Jessie took a step back from him. “I won't remarry.”

He couldn't believe her words. “But we…I have fallen in love with you, Jessie. Doesn't that mean anything to you?”

“I thought you realized. I've always been careful never to—”

He felt himself stir, feel frantic. “Jess, you don't understand. I feel…everything's changed.” He rushed to explain what he'd experienced earlier. Certainly she'd understand. “Today in the park, a young woman was out walking her baby. Suddenly I wanted it to be
our baby
.” He searched her expression for a softening from understanding of what he was trying to express.

Jessie avoided his eyes. “I will never remarry.”

“You can't tell me you don't have feelings for me. I am the man you were kissing last night—”

“I'm sorry if I mislead you.”

“Why are you doing this? We could have a good life together.” Panic twisted his stomach.

“I do not want Linc to grow up under a stepfather—”

“Under a stepfather? You can't mean you think I'm like Hiram Huff.” His heart began to pound.

“No, of course, not.” She frowned. The nanny goat settled down into its bed of straw, her bell clanging dully.

“Then you're not being logical. I would never treat Linc like your stepfather treated you.”

“You wouldn't mean to-—”

“You're wrong.” He tried to sound logical though his fear was rampant now. He reached out to take her hands.

She took a step back from him and came up against the back wall of the shed. “You're wrong. Don't you see?”

“No, I don't.” He now understood the saying “hot under the collar,” and couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his tone. “Explain to me how I'd treat Linc like
your
stepfather.”

Jessie's face flushed. “You said it yourself. You said ‘our baby.' Lincoln will never be ‘our baby.'”

“What has that to do with anything?” he demanded.

“If we married, we'd always have a divided home. There would always be
my
son and
your
children.”