Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) (5 page)

Luckily, he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to let me go. One hand glided up my back and ran through my hair, smoothing it down before coming around to tilt my head back. My face was only inches from his when I looked into those beautiful eyes.

He cupped my face with that hand and caressed my cheek with his thumb, wiping away tears I didn’t notice had fallen. I was a spastic wreck. I couldn’t stop the rest of them from spilling over. There were some happy tears that fell and some tears of grief from what I had lost, and there were tears of relief for what I still had.

“Lucy,” he whispered, and it sounded like a prayer. “I’ve never seen you cry before.”

I laughed through the tears. “Yeah, kind of scary, isn’t it?”

His expression grew serious. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It’s real and in the moment. It’s how you feel. You always try to hide your emotions. Don’t. They’re exquisite.”

I studied his expression before deciding he was being honest. I have never felt so exposed and vulnerable in my life. But I didn’t try to hide from him like I used to. I made a promise to Holly that I would allow myself to feel from now on. I didn’t want to hide anymore, especially not from Gavin. He has dealt with a lot of craziness just by knowing me, but he never left me. He was always there for me. I pushed him away, and I wasn’t around when Shane took him.

“Gavin, I’m so sorry,” I choked on a sob.

“Shh,” he soothed. “I’m the one who’s sorry. For a lot of things.”

He pulled my head down to his shoulder, and I let everything out. I wasn’t sure how long he let me cry all over him, but his grip never wavered.

When I finally pulled away, he lowered me to my feet. I slid down his bare chest, not letting go of his neck. Suddenly, there were reasons other than comfort for not being able to move away from him. His gaze heated, and I knew I should step away from him. It was definitely not the time for funny business.

“You probably need rest. Or blood?” I asked, not really sure what he needed.

“I’ll be fine if I can rest a little. How about you?” he asked hesitantly. “Do you need any… Blood?” I forgot it was his first encounter with the new me.

Suddenly, I became very interested in my boots. They were a dark brown but had creases across the leather that were worn and a lighter color. “I’m okay for now,” I mumbled.

He exhaled loudly, and my eyes darted up to meet his. “Lucy,” he breathed.

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it yet.” I knew he wanted to apologize for my transformation like it was his fault. I didn’t want to think about any of that yet.

He nodded, letting it go. “Well, I would say we could stay at my place, but with everything that’s happened and the assassins still hanging around, I don’t think it’s the safest place to spend the night.”

“I know where we can go,” I supplied.

He eyed me skeptically.

“What?”

“You’re apartment isn’t any safer.”

“Well, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Mr. Helpful. I wasn’t talking about my apartment.”

The corner of his mouth twitched, but he continued to doubt my resourcefulness.

“What? I do know people here,” I said, defensively. Okay, so I really only knew one person, but I definitely wasn’t admitting that to him, when he was looking at me like he thought it was cute or novel that I would have any friends.

“I believe you. With all that charm, how could you not know everyone in this town?” he teased.

“Shut up. Ass,” I shot back, but I grinned despite myself. It felt good to banter like we used to. Anything familiar was a nice reprieve from the mass of ugly and downright terrifying unknowns we were currently knee-deep in.

He chuckled. “Well, lead the way, Miss Popular.”

The way he smiled at me had me wanting things I shouldn’t be thinking about at the moment. I think I may have needed a cold shower more than blood. I really needed to get a grip on all these ridiculously intense urges. I wondered if it had anything to do with being a full-fledged vampire.

I looked at him again and wondered why I couldn’t have had an extra shirt or blanket on me to cover that perfectly sculpted chest and impossibly ripped abs. The fluttering in my belly was back, but the butterflies have moved much farther south and were multiplying at an alarming rate. And that made me wonder what exactly it was they were doing in there to reproduce so quickly. My butterflies were getting more action than I would be getting tonight. Because that, really, was the main thing I should be worrying about.

Seriously, Lucy. Focus.

Gavin was gesturing for me to take the lead, and I forced my feet to move while trying to hide my wobbly knees. They gave out, but I corrected myself and tried covering it up by pretending to step over something.

“It’s not far from here,” I assured him.

His gaze burned a hole in my back, and I knew if I turned around, I’d see that infuriating half smile. I almost forgot how confusing and chaotic my moods got when I was around him. And now that everything was amplified, things were bound to get a little out of control. As if my life wasn’t complicated enough, I had to add teenage vampire hormones to the list.

Eight blocks later, we stood under a green awning, staring at the giant picture window reading
Music Lovers Only
in bold frosted letters. I stepped back and lifted my head, checking for signs of life. No lights shone from the upstairs apartment, but when I fine-tuned my hearing, which I found to be a lot easier when I wasn’t hungry, I could make out his rhythmic heart beat and steady snoring.

Gavin leaned against the brick building, somehow pulling off an incredibly relaxed vibe, regardless of his limited wardrobe. He crossed his arms over his bare chest while maintaining skepticism in his brows.

“So we’re just going to wake up your ex-boss in the middle of the night and ask for a place to crash? That’s your plan?”

“You got a better one?” I snapped. I was worn down and a bit cranky. Add that to my new and upgraded temperament, and he was lucky I didn’t punch him. After all the violence and bad shit that’s happened in the past week, I really wasn’t in the mood for any more fighting tonight. But with his history of pissing me off, I was sure it wouldn’t take long for that to change.

“Well, I do have several contacts in the city,” he informed me judiciously.

“Yeah, I’m aware of the types of contacts you keep. Forgive me if I’m not keen on sharing the same living space with slutty vampires and watching them try to hump your leg while I try to sleep.”

Ok, that sounded a lot less like a jealous psycho in my head than how it came out. After all this time, I still haven’t learned to check myself and subdue my temper around him, but the memory of his old informant friend, Trixie, and how she wanted to suck more than blood when she was around Gavin made my skin crawl in a nasty, I must shower immediately kind of way.

And there it was, the half-cocked grin I knew and loathed, spread smugly across his face. Great. I was never going to hear the end of it.

“I can see your attitude hasn’t changed much. Your anger issues are still fully intact, aren’t they?”

“Funny how they didn’t seem to surface until you came around.”

He smiled wider but let it drop.

Huh?

I was expecting a colorful array of jealousy cracks. He never hesitated to rub it in my face before. Correction. He never hesitated to point out my attraction to him, a subject we always tip toed around before pulling back at the mere hint of something deeper. Because God forbid we have a functional, adult conversation expressing our actual intentions toward one another. No, our conversations were simpler and involved no words at all. Take for instance that last kiss we shared.

And was it ever a kiss to end all kisses. My face heated thinking about it. We were both so caught up in the brief instant of passion that we never got around to having one of those adult discussions about our feelings. But if that kiss had a say in anything, then I think we both may as well have proclaimed our undying love for each other.

But that kiss happened before I found out the truth of everything. He was going to reveal his secrets pertaining to me the following night, but I ran off and accepted the secondhand truth from Shane. There was so much between Gavin and I back then, so much distance separating us. But now, where did we stand?

There were still a lot of things unanswered, but we made it past the biggest hurdle between us. He had a role in my mother’s death. He didn’t kill her, but he was there, trying to save me from dying along with her, per her request. I’m grateful he saved me, but I was nowhere near able to accept what I had become, what I am.

Maybe it was the barrier between us that kept us from divulging our deepest, darkest desires. I had enough on my plate as it was. In fact, I should probably be thinking of how to get us out of our current predicament instead of standing here, crushing like a schoolgirl.

Jesus, Lucy. Get it together.

There were more pressing issues to worry about, like getting out of the cold and resting this overactive little brain of mine. I stepped forward and rubbed my palms together, more from nerves than for warmth against the frigid air. We needed a safe haven for the night, and securing one would require me to play nice.

Approaching the door neighboring the music shop entrance, I pressed the buzzer to my ex boss’s apartment. I had no clue what I would say to him after weeks of no contact. I just left suddenly without actually quitting. It wasn’t like I had a choice, since the cops were after me for murders I didn’t commit and crazy strong assassin vampires were hunting me for murders of their kind, which I totally committed.

A handful of seconds ticked by after I pressed the buzzer, and because I had the patience of a toddler instead of a monk, I pressed it again. For a very long time. Gavin raised his scarred eyebrow at me, clearly unimpressed by my social skills.

Play nice… Play nice… Play nice.

Finally, I heard a muffled curse and heavy footfalls trudging down the stairs. Several lock clicks later and the door swung open to reveal an extremely unhappy Clint. I thought he might start foaming at the mouth.

“Lucy, what the hell?” he grunted.

“Hi, Clint,” I said around the sweetest smile I could muster through the crushing exhaustion.

He stood there with his dark hair in a mess of waves that covered most of his receding hairline, and he wore a dark green t-shirt with grey sweatpants. His fist clutched a wooden baseball bat. The severe expression eased into one of confusion.

“Lucy, what are you doing here? Are you in trouble with the cops? They came here looking for you awhile back.”

“No, not the cops. But there are bad people out there who want to harm us.” I tried getting close to the truth without freaking him out too much.

Gavin stepped closer and Clint’s gaze shifted upward, somewhere above my head. It went as expected. Hell, I couldn’t even see him right now, and his presence affected me on a cellular level. For some reason, my body was drawn to him like cold-blooded animals were drawn to the heat of the sun. I could bask in his warmth…his scent…his touch, basically, his everything all day.

Clint didn’t quite share my reaction to every woman’s fantasy, but there was the typical awe that followed the man around wherever he went. Some shameless gawking ensued followed by wide eyes and a few steps taken backward. Probably a good idea. The man’s ego required plenty of breathing room, especially if it planned on keeping me up all night with its obnoxious tendencies.

Oh, shit.

Now, I was thinking of other ways he could keep me up all night, and I wanted to strangle him simply for being the cause of this annoying roller coaster ride of lust and frustration, and everything in between and on the outside of those two things.

He inched closer and the heat rolled off him in waves. Then, the jackass put his hands on my hips, rubbing his thumbs lazily up and down the thin material on my back, catching slightly at the edge of my jeans.

He knew what I was thinking. I still didn’t know how he did, but I knew we had some sort of freaky connection. He always seemed to pick up on my thoughts when they involved him, or maybe he simply enjoyed taking advantage of my embarrassment.

Clint was still staring but shook his head loose from the Gavin trance and glanced back to me. “What kind of bad people are you talking about, Lucy? Are they going to come beat down my door to get to you? Should I be worried?”

Normally, I would say anyone in my life was automatically in danger by association, but I had no intention of bringing Clint in on any of this. The cops were done with me and had no more reason to chase me, and the assassins had no way of tracing me here. We were safe here, for tonight.

“No, Clint. You’ll be fine. We just need a place to crash for the night, and then we’ll be gone and no trouble will come to you. I promise. You’ll never have to see me again after tonight. Please.”

He looked back at Gavin and hesitated. “Who is this guy, your boyfriend or something?”

“Hi. Gavin West,” he said and extended his hand. Clint grasped it cautiously. “Yes, I’m her boyfriend. I’m sorry to trouble you like this so late, but we really could use an anonymous place to stay for the night,” he said politely.

He was so good at the kind and courteous thing, but at the moment, it was the whole casual
boyfriend
usage that dented up the inside of my sternum. Willing my heart to settle before it tore out of its cage, I focused on my former boss.

“Why can’t you go to a hotel?”

“It’s too risky. They will be watching the obvious places, or most of them. I don’t want to take that chance. Please, we wouldn’t ask if it was going to put you in danger.”

“I don’t know,” he deliberated. “Lucy, all of this is so strange. First, you disappear on me. Then, I find out the cops are looking for you. Now, it’s like you’re in trouble with the mob or something.”

“Please, Clint. I wouldn’t come to you if I didn’t need your help. But I do. Clint, please help us,” I begged.

Wow. A year ago, I’d have laughed if someone told me I’d be asking anyone for help. The words tasted like battery acid in my mouth, but at least they made it past my lips.

Gavin’s hands traveled to my upper arms, gently massaging the tense muscles. I wasn’t sure if it was to assuage the direness of our situation or because he knew how difficult it was for me to admit I needed help. Either way, I wasn’t stopping him.

Clint scrutinized me before answering, “I always liked you, Lucy. You were always honest with me. You’re a sassy little shit. But you’re honest.”

Gavin tried, unsuccessfully, to cover a snort. I whipped my head around to give him my fiercest glare. This, of course, only added to his amusement.

Clint continued like nothing happened. “I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you. My daughter isn’t with me tonight. You can sleep in her room. There’s room for one in her bed, but I can lay some blankets out on the floor. Trust me, the floor is much more comfortable than that damn couch.”

“Thank you.” I exhaled the breath I was holding.

He led us up the stairs into a small living room. Attached to it was an equally small kitchen. He wasn’t lying about the couch, either. I didn’t have to sit in it to agree the floor was the better option.

It looked like it had been dragged from the destruction of a nuclear holocaust. The fabric on the arms was so deteriorated the wood poked through it. Tears in the seat cushions revealed chewed up foam, probably from the post nuclear cockroaches snacking on them. They were so worn down they didn’t really offer much padding from the protruding springs below them.

Who was I kidding? At this point, that couch looked like five-star accommodations. One would think I’d be well rested after a four-day coma, but it seemed the transformation was just as taxing as the fighting. I was ready to pass out anywhere my head landed.

Clint disappeared around the corner and came back holding a t-shirt for Gavin. “Sorry, it might not fit so well, but it’s the biggest I have.”

He handed it over, and Gavin took it gratefully. “Thank you. It will be fine.”

“Do I even want to ask why you’re missing a shirt?”

“Probably better off not knowing,” Gavin offered.

“Right, well, okay then. My daughter’s room is through this hallway.” He led us to the end of a short hall to the last door on the left and flipped on the light. He moved out of the way enough for us to squeeze past him, revealing a room with a twin size bed and a tad more floor space than bed space. There were shelves covered in little girl toys and figurines. The walls were a pale pink, and a Princess Sofia comforter draped the foot of the bed.

Clint ducked into an adjacent linen closet and reappeared in the doorway holding a stack of extra blankets and pillows. Gavin graciously accepted them as Clint nodded in response.

“Well, I’ll let you two get settled. There’s cereal in the pantry and milk in the fridge if you’re hungry when you wake up. I’ll have to get up early to open the shop, but I’ll leave the key on the counter for you to lock up when you leave. Just run it over to me before you go.”

“We’ll be out of here before you leave,” I said.

“Oh, ok. Um, goodnight then,” he said as he turned to leave.

“Clint,” I said.

“Yeah,” he paused at the door and turned back, his hand resting on the door handle.

“Thank you. For everything. I mean it. I really appreciate this. And for what it’s worth, I couldn’t have asked for a better boss.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I know. Anyone else probably would have fired you before putting up with that mouth of yours,” he admitted. “You’re welcome, Lucy. Good luck to you.” At that, he closed the door and padded down the hall.

Gavin chuckled as he laid out blankets on the floor, forming a makeshift bed.

“You have something to say?” I challenged him. When he kept quiet, shaking his head back and forth, I sighed. “Why does everyone seem to think I’m so bitchy? I’m not that bad.”

He laughed and turned to me, noticing my folded arms and raised brow. Scowling at him, I shot rusty metal stakes out of my eyes, daring him to say something. He prowled into my personal space, and I let out a ragged breath that was unwittingly held captive.