Blindsided (26 page)

“Not until you step out of the car, ma'am, and we check out this car. That means the trunk and of course the undercarriage as well. And the glove compartment.”

“This is outrageous! I'm going to call my congressman and senator and the goddamn current president if I have to,” Celeste stormed as she crawled out of the car. Nessie did the same. She was shaking so badly she could barely stand.

The bogus Secret Service agents took their own sweet time going through the trunk, looking under the car, and going through the twins' purses and briefcases. Celeste had to fight not to faint when the agent gave them the okay to get back in the car and drive on. Neither woman said a word until they were safely inside their old home. “Thank God, we were smart enough to wear our money belts. I was so sure they were going to strip-search us,” Celeste said in a shaky voice.

“Now what are we going to do? We can't leave for a while. It will look suspicious if we turn around and leave now after the fuss we created. This is not working out right, Cee,” Nessie said as she rummaged in a kitchen drawer for one of her marijuana sticks. Her hand was shaking so hard, Celeste had to hold the lighter for her sister.

“If ever there was a time for you to take a hit of this, it's now,” Nessie said, holding out the cigarette for her sister, who stunned her when she took a deep drag from the sweet-smelling cigarette. She almost laughed as Cee started to cough and sputter, but she didn't. She'd probably never laugh again. “I'm going to make some coffee. Since you claim to be the brains of this outfit, start figuring how we're going to get out of here in that damn truck without those people seeing and stopping us. Another thing, Cee. Isn't the gardener going to want his truck back? How did you get him to leave it here anyway?”

“I sent him a check for a new truck. I paid him for the week and told him to take a vacation. He said he left the registration and tags in the glove compartment. I didn't have to twist his arm. I'll take another puff of that cigarette, Nessie.”

Nessie handed over the cigarette, then poured coffee neither wanted but drank anyway. “How long should we wait, Cee?”

“At least an hour. We'll say the gardener had an accident and we're going to the nursery for peat moss and fertilizer or something. They already stopped us, and we're leaving, not arriving. Did that make sense, Nessie?” Cee asked dreamily.

“I guess so. Drink the coffee, Cee. No more hits. We need to focus. We also need to change our clothes so it looks like we're in gardening mode.”

“Good point, Nessie! Let's do that right now.”

Twenty minutes later, the twins were dressed in jeans, flannel shirts, and Timberland boots, and were standing in the kitchen eyeballing one another. The cannabis smell hung in the air. Nessie turned on the exhaust fan over the range. Then she sprayed Lysol around the kitchen. At Cee's questioning look, Nessie said, “Just in case those agents come up here for something.”

“Oh, another good point, Nessie. You are soooo on the ball toooodayyy,” Celeste twittered as she danced across the kitchen floor. She finally sat down across from her sister. They stared at one another for a long time, neither speaking.

Almost calm now, Nessie looked at the clock on the kitchen range, then gathered up her handbag and briefcase and motioned for her sister to get a move on. The money belt itched, but there were worse things in life, she decided. Cee hadn't said what they were going to do with the belts once they got to the airport and had to go through security. She hoped she had a plan. “I'll drive,” she said, looking at her dancing sister. “You aren't very good with a stick shift.”

“Okayyyy.”

“God, you need some fresh air. Come on, Cee, shake it. Time's up!”

A knock sounded on the kitchen door just as Nessie slung her briefcase over her shoulder. Both women froze in their tracks. “Don't answer it, Cee. We'll go out through the garage, where the truck is. The kitchen still reeks of pot.”

“If it's that agent, he knows we're here. We have to open it!”

“Cee, no, we do not have to open the door. This is our home, our castle. He has no jurisdiction in our home. Do not open it. Come on, we're going out through the garage. Let them knock all day. Shape up, Cee.”

The knocking turned louder, more insistent. Nessie, high on weed, opened the garage door. “Let's go, Cee!” she hissed.

“Your Honor! Open the door. You have guests. We escorted them up here. We cleared them.”

Nessie turned around and mouthed the word,
Guests?
“Oh, God, he's looking in the window! If you had moved your ass, Cee, we'd be on our way. Now you have to open the door. Or better yet, talk to him through the door.”

Celeste straightened her shoulders and walked over to the door. “Agent, we're much too busy for guests. Furthermore, we are not expecting any guests. How dare you bring someone to our home, strangers at that, after what you put
us
through with a thorough search? Now, get off my property, or I'm calling the police. In fact, I'm calling them anyway because my sister and I do not like your attitude. We pay your taxes, Agent.”

Celeste, her heart beating so fast she could barely breathe, yelled to Nessie. “Call 911 and have them send someone out here. Right now, Nessie!”

Nessie had the phone in her hand and was starting to peck out the numbers when the kitchen door splintered and crashed open. She dropped the phone when a gaggle of women and men barreled into the kitchen. Stupefied, the twin judges could only stare, their jaws hanging open.

“Good morning,” Myra said cheerfully.

“Did the call go through?” Pearl asked as she snatched up Nessie's phone from the floor. She shook her head for the benefit of the others.

“That's a relief,” Annie said, dropping the bags she was carrying. “Okay, boys, we have it under control. We'll call you if we need you. Stand by.”

Celeste finally found her voice. “Who are you people? Why are you here? What do you want? It's a home invasion, Nessie. Well, guess what, you're too late, we were robbed just days ago, and the thieves took everything, so there's nothing left. Who are you?” she demanded again, but this time more shrilly. The sound was like fingernails scratching a blackboard.

“Does ‘We're your worst nightmare' work for you?” Nellie asked, waving her cane around.

“What . . . what do you want?” Nessie squeaked.

“We want the money you wired out of your accounts in Switzerland and the Caymans,” Myra said quietly. “Give us the account numbers, and we'll leave.”
Like that's really going to happen. Oh, Myra, you are such a liar.

Celeste drew in her breath, as did Nessie. Myra thought the kitchen suddenly felt like all the air had been sucked out of it.

“I don't know what you're talking about. What accounts? Are you people crazy? I'm not going to tell you again; get out of our house!”

Nessie turned white. She reached out to grasp hold of the back of one of the kitchen chairs.
They know. Oh, God, they know about the money
. She wanted to look at her sister but couldn't manage it. Was Cee feeling what she was feeling? Her future flashed in front of her. She wondered who would be wearing her designer shoes and carrying her Chanel bags. She wanted to cry.

“Maggie! Tell these nice ladies what you know about their offshore monies.”

Maggie smiled and rattled off everything Abner Tookus had told her. “So you see, ladies, there's no point in lying to us. Just give us the routing numbers, and we'll leave you to whatever you were doing before we got here.”

“Scum!” Celeste spit. “I'm not telling you anything because there is nothing to tell. You obviously have us mixed up with someone else.”

Pearl moved her laptop onto the kitchen table. She looked over at Maggie, who rattled off a string of numbers for the old accounts. Pearl tapped them into the computer and turned the screen around so the twins could both see it. Celeste's right eyelid twitched noticeably. She brought up her hand to still the movement. Eunice stared off into space.

“Guess we don't have you mixed up with anyone else. These accounts are yours, as you can see. Now, we're going to ask you one more time for the routing numbers. We won't ask again,” Annie said, starting to lose her patience.

“You can ask until hell freezes over and neither my sister nor I are going to tell you anything. This is a setup of some kind, and we are not going to play your games. So, do whatever you're going to do or get out of here and leave us alone.”

“I guess in the interest of time, we should get on with our plans since these two fine judges don't see fit to cooperate with us,” Myra said.

“Annie, tie the ladies to their chairs. Pearl, you help! Nellie, keep that cane handy. Maggie, guard the door.”

Celeste bounded off her chair at the same time Nessie did. Arms flailed. Feet shot out, screeches and curses filled the air. But in the end, with Nellie swinging her cane, the twins were subdued and tied to the kitchen chairs. “Lookie here, they're both wearing money belts,” Maggie said, as she ripped at the Velcro strips. “Looks to me to be a bundle of getaway money.”

“Looks that way to me, too,” Annie said as she dragged a large black trash bag over to the sink. She rummaged in the cabinets until she found a measuring cup. All eyes were on her as she ripped at the bag inside of the trash bag. She scooped out a cup full of gray powder.

“I think you need something bigger, dear,” Myra said as she pulled a syringe out of another bag. All eyes were on her as she waved the syringe under the noses of the judges.

“What . . . what's that?” Nessie whispered.

“It's a syringe, honey.”

“Make sure you add enough water so it can go through the syringe, Annie,” Pearl called out.

“When we tested it, it was four to one, wasn't it?” Nellie asked.

“What is
that?
” Celeste demanded. Her voice sounded strong, but there was fear in her eyes. Nessie looked to be in a daze.

Annie finished at the sink. She washed and dried her hands. Then she walked over to the twins and cupped their faces, one at a time, in her hands. “Who has the marker? I don't want to make a mistake. After all, I am not a plastic surgeon.”

“What in the damn hell are you talking about?” Celeste said, rearing back in her chair. “Don't you dare touch my face.”

“You certainly have had a lot of
work
done, haven't you, dearie?” Annie observed, peering closer at Celeste's face. “Those liver spots are quite ugly. You can have them singed off. Did you know that, Your Honor? Oh, dear, what's that lump by your eye? Ah, a little too much Botox, me thinks. Oh, well, don't you worry. We're going to make sure we
even
you up. No one will even notice that little bump when we're done with you.”

“What . . . what are you talking about? Don't you dare touch my person! Don't you dare!”

“Put a cork in it,
lady.
I'm tired of listening to you. And I am through addressing you as ‘Your Honor,' since whatever honor you ever had disappeared years ago. Correct me if I'm wrong, bitch, but aren't you tied to a chair? And aren't you at my mercy right now? To me that means I'm in charge, and I'm calling the shots,” Annie said as she moved over to Nessie.

“Yes, what are you talking about?” Nessie asked as she tried to jerk her head out of Annie's grasp. Annie held on, knowing full well she would be leaving bruises on the judge's face. When she finally released her hold, Nessie gasped, “What are you going to do to us?”

“We're going to give you a face-lift, dear. Oh, don't worry. We aren't going to be doing any slicing or dicing. We all detest the sight of blood. We're going to be giving you injections. Think of it as a body overhaul.”

Nellie started to laugh and couldn't stop. Maggie looked over at the kitchen sink and started to giggle.

“Myra, be aware of the time. That stuff hardens really quickly. You don't want to lose the consistency, or it won't go through the syringe,” Pearl said.

“We have five minutes. Girls, strip the ladies down to the buff. We'll start with their rear ends the way that doctor did to that woman who wanted a more curved tush.”

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Nessie started to blubber. “Celeste, that's cee-ment they're mixing in the sink.”

Celeste thought her eyes would pop right out of her head. She started to curse and bellow, but Pearl gave her a backhand slap while ripping at Celeste's clothes.

Myra filled the syringe and stood between the two women. “I'm going to use up one minute of my time, so follow me here. Give us the routing numbers. Then I want you to tell us all why you think you're here under our control. The clock is ticking, ladies.”

“You're insane, all of you. I don't know what you're talking about. As to why we're here, it's because of our crazy brother. Don't you dare touch me!” Celeste screamed.

“Oh, for God's sake, Cee. Give it up already. They know. You want to drag your ass around loaded with cement, go ahead. I don't want to end up in a freak show, because that's where we're going to end up. Don't inject me. I'll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Nessie, shut up.”

Annie loosened the ties that bound Celeste to the chair and jerked her to her feet. A second later, she watched as Myra jammed the syringe into the judge's left buttock. Celeste howled in rage. Myra withdrew the syringe, refilled it and jammed it into the other buttock. “Those two lumps will be as big as oranges. Pretty hard to sit down.” She eyed Myra, who was busy filling the syringe for the third time. “Two more should do it for her rear end. Where's the smaller syringe?”