Blood and Fire (37 page)

“
That's
what qualifies you, Korie. Your ability to keep your
self
out of the process.”

“But, Captain—I didn't keep my self out of the process. I wasn't thinking about the Fleet, and I wasn't thinking about my orders, and I wasn't thinking about my oath or my responsibilities. I only thought about what would be best for the war, as if I were the only one fighting it. And more than once, Admiral O'Hara told me that's a large part of what's keeping me from my promotion—that I keep trying to fight this war by myself. She's right. I did it again here. That's the way my mind works. So if you give me those stars, and if I accept them, and if Fleet Command lets me keep them, then what? What if next time I'm not so wise? What if next time I follow my heart instead of my wisdom?”

Parsons sighed. “You want to know the truth, Jon? There are no guarantees. None of the great captains are ever as good as they want to be. So they keep trying to do better. That's what makes them great. They don't settle for being ordinary. Neither do you. When the next time comes, you'll remember
this
time. And that'll be enough to make the difference.”

“I hope you're right,” Korie said, with a hint of doubt as well as sadness.

“You want to know the truth about human beings?” she asked abruptly. She stepped in close. “Most of us don't have very much integrity. We pretend we do, but we're always negotiating little loopholes for ourselves, little excuses to be less than we are. And that's true of everybody,
all of us. The only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is not accepting that as normal. That's the heart of brightness. We defend our little specks of integrity with enormous ferocity because we know how little there really is. That's what makes you extraordinary, Jon Korie.” She took his hand and placed her stars in the center of his palm.

Korie heard the words as if Parsons was inscribing them into his soul. He nodded in thoughtful acceptance, staring down at the insignia. They felt strangely heavy in his hand. She was right. Of course, she was. When he looked up again, his expression was wry as well as rueful. He held up the stars. “You know, of course, that the admiral isn't going to let me keep these.”

“
Captain
Korie.” Parsons' tone had an edge to it sharp enough to slice diamond. “This ship has come a long way since the mauling at Marathon. Just about every officer in the fleet knows what she's been through, knows how you've held her together, knows how you've earned your stars five times over. Do you know that there are captains who will not accept command of this vessel—?”

“Sure. It's been that way since—”

“In the past, yes—they didn't want command of a disgraced ship. But now, there are officers who won't accept command of the
Star Wolf
because she's rightfully
your
ship. They've told the admiral as much—that it would be inappropriate for them to serve over you, because you've demonstrated better qualifications than a lot of men and women who already have their stars.”

Korie was embarrassed. He looked down at his shoes. He swallowed hard and looked up at Parsons again. “I didn't know that.”

“Well, then, you're the only one. Hell, Korie, I told O'Hara that myself—that I couldn't take this ship with you still as exec. It was embarrassing. She gave me hell for it. She offered me a choice—this ship or a demotion. So this is my way of handing it back to her.”

“You're using me to embarrass the admiral, aren't you?”

“Absolutely.” Parsons grinned. “You're not a political animal, Korie; you don't get it. When this ship comes back with you in command, it'll be my way of sending a message to Fleet Command that I'm impudent—that I won't roll over easily. So put on the damn stars and take command of your ship. I'd order you to do it, but I can't. I've resigned. Effective with taking them off. Right now this ship has no captain. Unless you put those stars on. So what are you going to do?”

Korie allowed himself a soft smile. “Well, when you put it that way—” He began fumbling with his collar.

Parsons stopped him. “Wait a minute, let's get some witnesses in here. There are a couple of people who will kill us both, if we do this ceremony without their participation.” She spoke into her headset, “Tor, Brik, Williger, Leen, Goldberg and Shibano to the wardroom, on the double!” Turning back to Korie, she slid her clipboard across the table toward him.
“Let's take care of the paper work. I have to sign your promotion, hand over command, and then you have to accept my resignation. Here, sign here, here and here.” As Korie signed, the others began filing into the wardroom with curious expressions on their faces. Parsons held up a hand for silence and motioned them to line up against the wall.

“What's going on?” Leen asked, coming in last.

“Shh,” said Williger. “Be a witness.”

“Oh,” mouthed Leen and took his place silently beside her.

Korie signed the last page and started to straighten up, but Parsons shoved one more at him. “This one too—this one absolves me of all responsibility.” She smiled broadly.

Korie scanned the form, recognizing the oath it represented. It wasn't an official oath
per se
, but it was the oath of commitment that captains had been voluntarily taking almost since the first liberty ship was launched. “As captain of the starship, I recognize that I am the sole authority for her actions in war and in peace. I am charged with the well-being of her crew and the maintenance of her readiness. In every regard, I am the ship. I acknowledge and accept the responsibility.”

Korie laid the stars down on the wardroom table and picked up the stylus. His hands felt clammy and the pen felt like an unfamiliar and alien thing.
This is really happening!
Somehow, he signed his name. And when he finished, and put the stylus down, and straightened up again, he could almost feel the difference in himself—as if a charge of energy, a new way of
being
, was suddenly coursing through his veins. He swallowed hard with the realization.

“Well, go ahead,” said Parsons. “Put the stars on.”

Still fumbling, Korie picked them up off the table. For some reason, his fingers weren't working quite right. He blinked. He was having a little trouble focusing. He wished Carol could have been here. And Mark and Robby—

“Here, let me,” said Parsons, stepping close, ignoring the wetness at the corners of his eyes. She took the stars from his hand and clipped them easily to his collar. Finished, she stepped back again and offered him a crisp salute. And so did all the others. Tor. Leen. Williger. Goldberg. Shibano. Even Brik!

“Don't do that—” Korie started to say, then realized how stupid that would sound. He shut up and returned the salute proudly. The others in the wardroom burst into spontaneous applause.

Parsons stepped forward and shook his hand. “Congratulations, Captain Korie.” She added, “Now, it's done. If the admiral makes you
take
these
stars off, it'll be
her
embarrassment, not yours.” And then they were surrounded by the others, lining up to shake his hand and congratulate him. Korie blinked away the tears quickly, so they wouldn't see how moved he was by their expressions of affection. He looked up—
and up
—at Brik. Even Brik was grinning; at least, Korie thought it was a grin—it was the most ghastly and uncomfortable expression he'd ever seen on a Morthan.

And then Parsons was at his side again. “I'd like to make the announcement to the crew—it's traditional in cases like this. Is that all right with you, Captain Korie?”

“Yes, please do.” And then something else occurred to him. “Do you want to remain in the captain's cabin or would you prefer to move to a guest cabin?”

“It's your call, Captain—”

“Why don't you stay in the captain's cabin. As our ... uh, Captain Emeritus.”

“As your
guest
,” Parsons corrected. “I promise I'll keep my mouth shut and only give you advice if you ask for it—or out of sight, if you're too stupid to ask. May I retain the privilege of standing watch on your Bridge?”

“Yes, ma'am. I'd be honored if you would.” He looked proudly around the room. “Commander Tor, you'll take over as executive officer.” He stopped and realized something else. “Oh, and schedule a memorial service immediately after dinner.” He looked to Parsons. “Would you like to—?”

“I think that one is yours, Captain. You knew Hodel and Berryman better.”

“Yes,” Korie agreed. “I think I should. All right, what else is there we need to attend to?”

“You're the captain,” said Tor, laughing. “
You tell us
.”

Upon dropping out of hyperstate, the
Star Wolf
had transmitted only the tersest of arrival messages: “
Norway
destroyed, fourteen survivors aboard. Two dead aboard
Star Wolf
. Log sealed. Eyes-only report. Will need substantial maintenance on intelligence engine.” The admiral would understand what
wasn't
being said.

Now, as the
Star Wolf
locked her transfer tube into place against the reception bay of the stardock, the admiral's own terse reply was received on the Bridge. “Would the captain of the
Star Wolf
please report to the admiral's office immediately?”

Korie and Parsons were both on the Command Deck when the admiral's signal came in. Both were wearing their dress uniforms. They read the signal and exchanged conspiratorial glances. “I think she wants
your
report,” Korie said.

“Uh-uh,” said Parsons. “You're the captain of the
Star Wolf
. It's your report she wants.”

“But she's expecting you.”

“Oh, I'm sure she's going to want to see me—but she should see you first. Protocol, you know.”

Korie nodded. He turned forward. “Lieutenant Green, send a signal to Admiral O'Hara. Eyes-only. ‘With the
Star Wolf
's respects, would the admiral please clarify which captain of the
Star Wolf
she wishes to report—Captain Korie or former Captain Parsons?'” He turned back to Parsons. “Her reply will tell us whether or not she's going to confirm my promotion.”

“Are you making any bets?”

“Four times I've been in that woman's office, and four times I haven't gotten my stars. Based on her track record, I'm betting against myself.”

“I'll bet
for
,” said Parsons. “Loser pays for dinner at the most expensive club in town.”

“Deal.” Korie agreed.

“You'd better apply for a loan, Captain. I'm in the mood for lobster.”

Korie grinned. “And I'm in the mood for—I don't know what I'm in the mood for, but I promise it'll be expensive.” Then he added, “It's been fun wearing these insignia, Captain Parsons. And it's been a privilege to
serve with you. Thank you.” He reached for his collar. “Perhaps you should take these back now—”

Parsons stopped him from removing the insignia. “Keep them, Captain. Whether the old bitch confirms you or not, you've earned those.”

“Transfer tube is pressurized,” reported Goldberg. “We are officially home.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.
Now hear this
. Executive Officer Tor will be posting shore leave schedules as soon as the ship is secured and locked down. Enjoy yourselves, but please remember, we want to be invited back.
That is all.
” Korie picked up his cap and tucked it under his arm. “I'm not going to keep her waiting. Commander Tor, you have the conn. I'm going over.”