Blood Bond (12 page)

Wes said nothing.

Derek tried putting his free hand on Wes’s
shoulder, but Wes shrugged it off and stomped away, pushing through
the crowd, his expression furious. He walked right by without even
seeing me.

“Wes,” I called, running after him.
“Wes!”

He didn’t stop until he’d rounded the corner
of the house. “What?” he growled, whirling.

I pulled back, bumping into Cambria. I
opened my mouth and closed it again, unsure what to say. I’d never
seen him lose control like that before. It wasn’t like him.

“We’ve got to calm him down,” Derek
said.

I looked back at Wes. He was still
shaking—violent, convulsing shivers—and his pupils were dilated.
His eyes met mine and he took a deep breath, held it, blew it
out.

“Wes?” I kept my voice low and even, hoping
it would be soothing.

“What?” His voice was slightly calmer,
though he was still shaking.

“What just happened?” I asked.

He ran a hand through his hair so it stood
on end. “He makes me crazy,” he said. And he did look it, with his
disheveled ’do and unfocused gaze.

Derek and I exchanged a look. “Hey, Cambria,
do you want to take a walk or something?” he asked.

She nodded. “Walking sounds fabulous,” she
said solemnly.

I watched them head in the opposite
direction of the CHAS crowd. “I would’ve punched him too,” I said
when we were alone.

That got his attention. His breathing slowed
and he attempted a smile. “I would’ve had to peel you off him.” His
expression was less manic now; the shaking had almost stopped.

“I almost decided to join you,” I admitted.
“After that crack he made about Bailey and your parents.” His
expression clouded, and I decided it might be better to change the
subject. “What’s your deal with him, anyway?”

“Well, for starters, he’s an asshole, in
case you missed that.”

“I noticed it.”

“Add to that the fact that
he hates Werewolves, and those of us who stand for something
besides ‘slaughter now, ask questions later,’ and you’ve got
yourself an accurate picture of Gordon Steppe,
director
.” The last word came out on
a wave of sarcasm.

“And is it safe to say this isn’t the first
time you guys have had this argument?”

“Not the first and not the last.” He sighed.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost it. He’s not worth it, and I have
a responsibility.”

“You don’t owe me an apology. I get it. Like
I said, I almost joined you, dark-suited minions or not.”

“Yeah, but Jack would’ve killed me. He still
might. I’m supposed to be setting an example as a leader for
peace.” He laughed. “There’s some irony for you.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing a
great job.” He arched a brow at me. “Okay, today excluded,” I
amended.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking over his
shoulder at the corner of the house that led to all things CHAS. “I
feel like I’m losing it. I’m supposed to be proving myself capable,
levelheaded, responsible. All I did was prove to them I’m nothing
more than a hot-headed kid.”

“You’re all of the things you’re supposed to
be. Smart, wise, and definitely responsible. You’re always so by
the book these days.” I scrunched up my nose and made a face, like
the idea of him being good offended me. It got him to smile. “And
your dad would be proud,” I added softly.

His gaze sharpened. More than anything, that
mattered to him.

I hugged him and he relaxed against me. Any
trace of tension or scent of emerging wolf melted.

“Thank you. I needed this.” He spoke with
his mouth against the hollow of my neck. I shivered where his
breath tickled my skin.

“Me too,” I whispered. I tried relaxing into
his embrace, the way he’d done with me. I wanted so much for this
to be all I needed to relinquish some of the stress that weighed me
down. But, it only lifted for as long as the embrace lasted. When I
pulled away, it re-settled itself against my shoulders.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Wes ran a hand down my cheek, smoothing my
hair back from my face. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Thanks to
you.”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“You don’t go around punching people just
because you’re having an off day.”

“It’s … everything, really. Bailey.” He
closed his eyes against the pain that contorted his features. When
he opened them, the agony was muted behind his lids. “George. The
hybrids. Whoever this is coming after you. And I can’t do a damn
thing about any of it.” I waited for him to add my whole “shifting,
then killing” drama to the list, but he didn’t.

“Wes—”

“Don’t say it’s going to be okay, because we
both know it isn’t. Not unless we fix it ourselves.” There was a
gleam in his eye I wasn’t used to seeing.

“What are you saying?”

“I talked to Jack about that Astor guy.”

“And?”

“And he shut me down the minute I asked. No
information, no details, no reason why he wouldn’t talk about it,
except to say the guy’s unstable and leave it alone.”

“Same thing my grandma said.”

“Right, and normally I would say we need to
listen to them but …”

“But what?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about
you, it’s that you take what most would consider an order and turn
it into a suggestion.” The gleam in his eye deepened. “And in this
particular case, if you wanted to do it your way, I’d have your
back.”

“What are you saying? We should run away?
Find the guy anyway?” I couldn’t believe this. It was so unlike Wes
to behave like this. “Jack and Fee would kill you. I can’t even
imagine what my mother would do to whatever Jack and Fee left
behind. And you’re supposed to be a leader.”

“
Yeah, you’re right.
Shit.” The gleam faded. He ran his hand through his hair, then
shoved his fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I
was thinking. I hate having so many problems and no solutions. I’m
sick of the diplomacy, the politics, the talking. I want to do
something. For us. For Bailey…”

“I know it’s frustrating. We’ll figure it
out,” I said. I cocked my head to the side. “You know what’s funny.
Any other time, I’d be the one venting to you about the lack of
options and you’d be reassuring me that we’d figure it out.”

His mouth quirked upward. He dropped a kiss
on my nose. “You’re right. We make a good team. As long as we don’t
both lose our cool at the same time. Speaking of losing your cool,
what’s the deal with you and your mom?”

“What? Oh.” I’d almost forgotten he’d read
that last night, back when I didn’t have to speak aloud for him to
hear me. “She wants to be able to trust me, but I get the feeling
she wants me to earn it.”

His brows lifted. “Sounds reasonable.”

“Right, except that haven’t I been earning
it my whole life? All those times she left me on my own while she
worked? And all of the decisions I had to make without her? Meals I
had to microwave? It’s not like I ever got into trouble before all
the Hunter stuff started. I mean, doesn’t that count for
anything?”

“I guess maybe you should ask her that,” he
said.

“Yeah, I guess. When did you start sounding
so much like a grown-up?”

He grinned in a way that
heated my insides. “What can I say? I’m wise beyond my years.” I
stuck out my tongue and he laughed. “That’s not helping
your
case for being a
grown-up.”

“Funny, because it sure feels like
grown-up-level stress. Between George and the hybrids and my
mother, I don’t even know where to start.”

“We’re going to find the hybrids.”

My voice dropped to barely a whisper. Not
because I was afraid of someone overhearing, but because thinking
about it made me desperate. “Will it even make a difference if we
do? What if they can’t be saved? What if they won’t? And what if—”
I broke off and bit my lip.

“Say it.”

“What if they keep coming after me, and I
end up killing everyone?”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that. I couldn’t stop myself
before. It could happen again.”

He ran a hand through his hair. I knew this
conversation frustrated him. As did the fact that I wouldn’t let
him tell anyone, but I couldn’t bring myself to open that door. Not
yet. Once I said it out loud—even to Fee—it would be real. There
would be no going back.

“I don’t know the answer to that without
help. I know what it was like to shift as a kid, but I’m more
Werewolf than Hunter. And I’ve been able to shift my whole life.
I’ve never heard of someone waiting this long to start the
process.”

“Right, I mean how am I able to shift at
all? You said the mother’s side was the dominant one, and that’s
why you could, and I couldn’t.”

“It was a guess, Tara, I didn’t know for
sure.”

“Miles couldn’t shift,” I said, feeling
defensive, though I had no idea why. It wasn’t Wes’s fault this was
happening.

“Miles couldn’t shift,” he agreed. “The
important thing right now isn’t why. It’s how. You need to get a
handle on it so you can control when it happens. The best way would
be to—”

I held up my hand, silencing him. “Don’t say
talk to Fee. I can’t do it. Not yet. They’ve barely accepted what
happened to Bailey, and George is the priority now. I’m not opening
up that can of worms, not yet.”

“Fine, but sooner or later, you have to tell
them.”

“I will. Eventually.”

He sent me a look that said he wasn’t quite
buying it, but he let it go. “I’ve been thinking about your
shifting tendencies, the times that seem to have triggered it, and
the main thing they have in common is a sense of danger.”

“You think it’s more likely to happen if I’m
threatened?”

“I’m basing this entirely on my own
experience, but yes. As a kid, we’re taught to shift at will. But
it takes a while to get that sort of control. A threat always
triggered it spontaneously. Still does if I’m not careful.”

“Huh. I thought it was temper.”

“Not necessarily. Although, for some, the
two go hand in hand, so it may seem that way.”

“With Steppe, you just seemed so angry …
Wait, you feel threatened by him?”

“I feel … a fight is inevitable. And so is
my victory, if The Cause is to survive.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He’s made it clear his mission while in
office is to disband us, or at least to reverse CHAS’s decision to
formally recognize us as a neutral third party.”

“Why? We’re willing to work with them. And
what’s so wrong with wanting to end conflict?”

“Because that end doesn’t involve one side
standing over the other’s dead bodies. And because we fill our
ranks with Werewolves.”

“So that’s it? It’s that simple? Because The
Cause has Werewolves in its group, he hates us all?”

“That’s enough for him. So, yeah, I feel
threatened by him. He has power. A lot of it. And I don’t want him
to use it to drive us apart.”

I took his hand and squeezed it. “He
won’t.”

“That’s why I’m taking this position so
seriously. Jack and Fee and Cord and Derek … they mean everything
to me. I won’t let anyone take that away from me. This is my
family.”

“I get it. That’s how I feel about—”

“George?”

I hesitated, scared he’d read more into it
than was there. “Um, yeah.”

“It’s all right. I understand he’s important
to you. And for the record, he feels the same for you.”

“How do you know?”

“I might’ve seen something yesterday.”

“You know, it’s really rude to go nosing
around in people’s brains like that.”

“I know. Trust me, I’ve got the karma-sized
headache to prove it. But in my defense, he was sending out some
strong thoughts when I walked in.”

I frowned. “Like what?”

“He cares about you a lot more than I
realized. And it’s mostly friendship.”

“Mostly?”

His lips curved. “He’s getting there.”

I sighed. “Mostly” was better than nothing.
“In the meantime, he’s getting healthier by the minute. He’s like a
ticking time bomb of monster.”

“We’ll—”

“Figure it out,” we said in unison, our
words blending into one voice.

He smiled at me, that same smile that always
made my stomach flip-flop and land somewhere in my throat. When he
bowed his head, I rose on my toes and met him halfway, closing my
eyes as our mouths met.

I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between
that action and the state of our relationship. Ever since our talk
at Wood Point, our promise to no longer keep secrets from the
other, things between us had been much better. Even when he’d been
hunting the hybrids, the loneliness hadn’t affected me nearly as
bad as those first few weeks.

Sharing my problems didn’t come naturally
for me—a family curse spanning generations, it seemed—but I was
learning. And Wes was trying too. His crazy idea to run away and
find Astor ourselves was proof of that. He trusted me now. Not just
to make my own decisions, but to carry them out. I knew it
terrified him to see me put myself in any sort of danger, but he
was learning.

*

That afternoon, Cambria and I met Sam and
Angela at the mall. We spent three hours walking, shopping, and
generally pretending Werewolves didn’t exist. Sam talked a mile a
minute, filling me in on everything I’d missed while away. She also
made sure to fill Cambria in on everything she’d missed, well,
ever. There wasn’t much need for conversation from the rest of us.
Still, I couldn’t help but notice Angela’s pointed stares.

“What?” I asked.

The first couple of times she shook her head
and wandered off. Somehow, that only increased my guilt for the
secrets between us. I’d come close to telling her many times but I
couldn’t ever quite bring myself to do it. What kind of friend
would I be? Bringing her into this world would only put her in
danger.