Blood From a Silver Cross (Kat Redding) (21 page)

“No,” I said. “I dropped it back at the hideout. I’ll go back for it.”

“I’ll have someone look for it,” she said. “You should get cleaned up. I have a feeling Jon will be needing you soon.”

I grunted. Lately, I wasn’t sure how much he really wanted me around. He had Keira. Why would he need a goddamn vampire mucking things up for him?

I gave Keira the address to the Left Hand hideout before turning and walking out of the door. I wasn’t positive she’d do what she said, but at least I’d know if I could trust her or not. If she did as she was supposed to, then perhaps I’d have to cut her some slack. If not, well then, I’d have to let my gun do the talking.

T
he landscape seemed to taunt me.

I knew that coming to look out over the spot where Delai used to be would be pointless, but I had to go somewhere, and home wasn’t it. There was a kind of peace, a void that allowed me to breathe just a little easier here. I knew things were probably going to get worse long before they got better, but here, in the nothingness, I could relax.

I’d pulled to the side of the road and walked a bit toward where I’d once seen the town. I could sense the animals around me, yet never saw a single one move. None of them were dangerous. I was the danger here. The animals were a reminder of a world that once was, of a peace that probably never truly existed.

I heaved a sigh and looked to the sky. I was being cynical again, but it was hard not to. I had no idea where Delai really was anymore, what dimension it resided in, but I had to look somewhere. I thought of Sienna and of Eilene, wondering if they were okay.

And I thought of Levi.

“If you hurt her . . .” I spoke aloud in the hope he could hear me. He’d guided me to the town before, which meant he’d know what I was. Maybe he was keeping tabs on me now. Maybe he was waiting for his moment to strike.

I was actually sort of glad I got no response. If Levi had come strolling out of the surrounding trees, I wouldn’t have been able to do a damn thing to him. He was an angel. There was nothing I could do to stop him.

But soon . . . I would find him. I would stop him. It might mean giving in to my darker nature, allying myself even more with a demon I despised, but I would
not
let Levi win. Once the Left Hand was truly gone, once I’d dealt with Baset, I would find him.

And I would end him.

The thought galvanized me. Nothing could happen to me until I’d taken care of Levi and Delai. I refused to let it. It gave me something to strive for, something far greater than myself.

I turned away and went back to my Honda, actually feeling better than I had when I left it. I wasn’t sure if it was lingering effects from the town that had once soothed me so much or if I’d simply calmed down from the fight with the Left Hand and the confrontation with Keira. Either way, I was ready to head home.

My hair hung limp against my back as I put the emptiness behind me. I was still covered in blood and the pain in my shoulder steadily increased the longer I left the bullet lodged inside it. I really should have gone straight home from the Den, but this little side trip had done me some good. It wasn’t a weakness to seek a few moments of solace in the insanity. It actually showed strength to step away from everything to catch your breath. It’s not always easy to relax when people are dying.

Turning into the driveway, I realized something was off. I felt a presence nearby, just ahead of me. As the feeling hit, I saw him standing just outside the trees. Movement behind him told me he wasn’t alone.

I stopped at the bottom of the drive and drew my gun. It would be useless here, but it made me feel better to have it in my hand.

“I can see you, you know,” I said, putting as much irritation in my voice as I could.

“I wanted you to,” Adrian said. He took two strides my way before stopping again. Davin came out of the trees behind him, grinning his manic grin.

“I should have known you couldn’t just leave me alone,” I said, angry at myself for not noticing him sooner. The Oath should have warned me, yet I kept ignoring it. I needed to start paying better attention to it before Adrian decided it was time to force me into something else.

Adrian glanced at the gun in my hand. “You do not need to fear me.”

“I like holding it.”

“I could take that as a threat,” he said. “Neither of us would like that.”

I sighed and holstered the gun. There was no reason to keep it out. Thanks to the Oath, I couldn’t shoot him. And thanks to his threats, I couldn’t shoot Davin without putting people I cared about at risk.

“What do you want?” I asked. “It’s late and I’m a mess. I want to get cleaned up.”

“I could feel your agitation,” Adrian said, face as impassive as ever. “I was concerned.”

“Right.” I very nearly laughed. “You’re so worried about me, you had to come here to make sure I was okay. It has nothing to do with you fucking stalking me.”

He shrugged. “I only wish to protect my investment.”

I snorted. “I can take care of myself, you know.”

“I do,” he said. “But I also wish for you to accept me as an ally. I want only what is best for you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens. I feel it is the only way you will finally trust me.”

This time I did laugh. “You only care about yourself and your own wants. I just happen to be the object of your latest desires.” And I meant that in more than one way. Just the thought was enough to make me want to puke.

He shrugged again. “It is one and the same, really. If something happens to you, then my plans will need to be reevaluated. I do not wish to go down that route. So . . .” He shrugged. “I am here.”

“Fine. Whatever.” I sighed and rubbed my temples. Couldn’t he have chosen another day for this? “I just want to go inside. If there’s nothing else, would you please just go away?”

“I can accompany you within your home so we can continue discussions further,” he said.

“The hell you will.”

Adrian actually flashed an amused smile before all semblance of emotion bled away. “At least tell me why you are so agitated. Perhaps I can find a way to be of help while you . . .”—he looked me up and down—“. . . get cleaned up.”

Davin giggled, drawing my eye. He stood just slightly behind his master, hunched over like some movie henchman. He watched me with a gleam in his eye that was disconcerting. He knew something I didn’t, I was sure. He might be insane, but he wasn’t stupid.

“It’s complicated,” I said, turning back to Adrian.

“As are you,” he responded. “Yet I have taken great pains to understand your complications. I believe I can handle whatever troubles you may have.”

I sighed. What would it hurt to give him a little more information? It wasn’t like he didn’t already know about the Left Hand. He’d practically dragged me into a confrontation with one of their members, telling me he knew what I was working on.

But no matter how much of a help Adrian might be in dealing with the Left Hand, I couldn’t trust him. He might go and kill twenty innocents, just so he could get at one man. He might do more damage than good.

And then another thought struck me. There was something I wasn’t so sure he knew. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I was right about it, but it couldn’t hurt to bring it up. Maybe he’d try to do something about it and would end up getting himself killed, ridding me of yet another problem.

“Count Mephisto had someone following me recently,” I said.

Adrian went motionless. “I see.”

“I never would have noticed him if it weren’t for finding a body beside my motorcycle at the Bloody Stake a few nights ago.”

This time he frowned ever so slightly. “You did not kill him, then?”

“Nope. Someone found him, throat cut. I didn’t see the guy until he was already dead.” Of course, I wasn’t going to tell him the guy had saved me from a wolf attack when I’d followed Nathan a few nights back. It would only confuse him. Hell, it confused me.

“The Left Hand?”

I only shrugged. He could figure it out for himself.

Davin shuddered and seemed to shrink, as if the thought of the Left Hand was enough to send him screaming into the night.

“I will keep an eye out for those that might follow you,” Adrian said. “I did not know Count Mephisto had such a great interest in you.”

“I don’t like
anyone
following me for any reason,” I said, hoping he understood.

Adrian, as usual, simply shrugged.

“What I want to know is, how did his wolf manage to find me?” I asked.

“It isn’t too hard to pinpoint your location when you frequent the same places. All anyone has to do is wait. You will eventually arrive.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been able to find me without watching my every move. You’ve had people show up in places I’ve never gone before. How?”

“We have the Oath.”

“And before that?”

Adrian glanced at Davin, who finally joined the conversation.

“We’ve had something of yours for a long, long time, Lady Death. I’ve used it to track you.”

Adrian turned back to me. “Which means Count Mephisto has something of yours. If he is truly tracking you . . .” He added the last as if he wasn’t quite sure he believed me.

I almost told them that it was impossible. How would Mephisto have gotten hold of something of mine?

And then it hit me.

My gun. One of Mephisto’s men had knocked it from my grip and I’d lost it beneath a vehicle when I’d gone to his mall in a boneheaded attempt to announce my return. I knew I should have tried to grab it before taking off, but I hadn’t been thinking too clearly back then. In fact, I’d been a downright mess. I was only starting to claw my way back out of the messes I’d made for myself.

“Son of a bitch.” I had no idea how I was going to get the gun back short of charging right into Mephisto’s hands.

“He will be able to find you wherever you go,” Adrian said. “He will know where you live. He could have someone here even now.” He glanced around at the trees surrounding my property. Anyone could be hiding in them and I wouldn’t know it unless they wanted me to.

“Great,” I said with a sigh. So much for my relaxed mood. “Everyone wants to watch me. I feel so fucking special.”

“Ah, but you are.” Adrian smiled again. I was beginning to wonder if maybe he was getting too comfortable around me. He’d never showed this much emotion at once in my presence. “I just don’t think you understand how special.”

I didn’t like the gleam in his eye. I knew what he wanted from me and there was absolutely no chance in hell I was going to give it to him.

“I’m going in now,” I said. “I’d appreciate it if you would get the hell out of here and never come back.”

“Would you be averse to my checking the grounds?” Adrian asked, all seriousness. “Neither I, nor my wolves, will bother you. We will simply make sure no one else is nearby.”

I almost told him to shove it up his ass, but changed my mind. While I could send Jeremy out to scout, he was only one man. If there were more than one wolf out there, he wouldn’t stand a chance. And while I could help him look, it would take time—time I didn’t have.

“Fine,” I said, hating it. “But after you make sure no one else is around, I want you and all of your people gone.”

Adrian bowed. I thought I caught a glimpse of a smug smile as his head dipped. He was taking this as a victory.

I revved the Honda’s engine and tore up the driveway, spraying gravel in my wake. I hoped I pelted him a good one. The asshole was really getting on my nerves.

I looked back about halfway up the drive, thinking I’d find him watching me, but when I looked, both he and Davin were already gone.

“K
at, I . . .” Ethan trailed off as I stepped into the dining room. He held a glass in his hand. More blue liquid that didn’t smell quite as bad as before sloshed around inside.

I couldn’t look at him. I’d fed on a Pureblood even though I knew Ethan was still trying to come up with a mixture that would sate my hunger. While my victim might not have exactly been Mrs. Innocent, she’d still been human.

“Oh,” he said, followed by a strained laugh. “I suppose I can work on it some more. I still don’t think I have the taste down. We wouldn’t want to have a repeat of last time, would we?” Another strained laugh.

I gave him a stiff nod, still unwilling to look at him. I’d never been embarrassed about what I was before. I’ve hated it, sure, but never felt like I was just caught in the backseat of a car by my mom. I really had tried to wait for him to come up with a solution before feeding, but the monster inside of me had taken control.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He turned and walked away.

I slumped against the wall, smearing blood all over it, but right then, I didn’t care. I felt exhausted, both mentally and physically. I hadn’t been fighting as much or as hard as I used to, yet it was getting to me more and more. It was as if the years of killing were finally catching up to me.

I closed my eyes as a weak groan slipped through my lips. I hurt like hell. The thought of walking up the stairs was not appealing. Each step was going to jar the hell out of my wounded shoulder.

“You okay?”

I opened my eyes to see Jeremy standing on the stairs. He was watching me like he thought I might leap at him.

“I suppose,” I said.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I sighed and almost said more, but stopped myself. No sense dumping on the were. I could handle things right now. Maybe when things got worse—and I was damn sure positive they would—I might consider asking for his help. Until then . . .

“Well, I’m around,” Jeremy said, as if reading my thoughts. “Just in case.”

He turned to walk away and I very nearly called out to him. Would talking to him really be such a bad thing? If nothing else, I could have him call Jonathan and demand to know what in the hell was going on with Nathan. They both should have been there, waiting for me, tonight.

Jeremy vanished up the stairs. A moment later, his bedroom door closed. The house felt oddly empty and silent.

I took the stairs carefully, doing my best to keep my shoulder level. I kept forgetting how badly it hurt. Being a vampire, I have a high tolerance for pain, so when I’m running around like a maniac, I often forget I’m injured.

Of course, it seems like all the pain comes slamming into me later. High tolerance or not, I felt like shit and wanted nothing more than to soak in a long bath and forget all about the Left Hand.

I made it to my bedroom without crying out and closed the door behind me. I pulled off my coat, frowned at the hole in it, then tossed it in the basket for my bloody leather. Next came my shoulder holster and belt, followed by my pants.

I stood there, in nothing but underwear and shirt, wishing there was another way to get my top off. It was going to hurt like hell taking off the shirt. The fabric had dried to the wound made by the bullet, meaning I was going to have to rip it off.

I bit my lower lip and yanked my shirt upward, over my head, and then threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a wet slap and slid down, trailing blood in its wake. My breath was locked in my throat. I was afraid if I tried to breathe, I’d scream.

It took a few moments, but the pain ebbed. I gasped out a few sharp breaths, wishing I had some pain meds that actually worked. Doctor Lei had something, I was sure. I crossed the room and peeked out my bedroom window. The woods seemed dark and foreboding. Anyone could be watching me out there, even now. I hoped Adrian had rounded up any and all watchers and was gone by now, though I doubted it. Chances were good a thorough search would take all night.

I let the blinds fall closed and plastered them to the wall so no light would seep in once morning came. I went into the bathroom, looked at the tub, and realized I couldn’t take a bath—not unless I wanted to lie in bloody water. With a groan, I stepped under the shower and started it up.

The water washed over me, giving me a jolt of energy. I closed my eyes and let the spray cleanse me. I’d wash off eventually, but just standing there felt good, though I had to be careful of the hole in my shoulder. If the water pounded into that, I wasn’t so sure I could stop a scream.

The wise thing to do would have been to have someone help. I could have gone to Doctor Lei to have the bullet removed. Hell, I could have asked Ethan to take care of it. This wasn’t the first time I’d ever been wounded. He’d taken care of me before.

Yet somehow, this time felt different. I didn’t want to drag Ethan into this. I didn’t want him to know how badly I was hurt. The skin around the wound was inflamed and the longer I waited to get the bullet out, the more it fucking hurt.

I leaned out of the shower and opened a drawer beneath the sink. I blindly felt around until I found the tweezers. I clutched them in a fist that was already starting to tremble in anticipation of the pain and returned to the shower. I stood there for a long time, head down, eyes closed, breathing in and out slowly.

Once I was calm and mentally ready for it, I bent the tweezers so that they opened a little farther than normal. This was going to hurt like hell, but I wasn’t going to take the time for someone else to do it for me. I was positive the bullet lodged in my shoulder was made of silver. I wasn’t ready to answer all the questions that would follow the moment anyone else realized what I’d been shot with.

I pressed the tips of the tweezers to the wound. Pain instantly seared through my shoulder, taking my breath. I jerked my hand away and gasped a few choice curses into the water. Gritting my teeth, I sank down into the tub, pressing my back against the far wall to brace myself. The water sprayed onto my knees, sending cascades of water into my face. It helped wash away the sweat that was already beading my brow.

This time I braced myself for the pain. I took two deep breaths, held the last, and then clenched my teeth harder as I pressed the tweezers into the wound.

It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. This wasn’t someone jamming claws or knives into me. I was doing this to myself. My mind kept screaming at me to stop before I did even more damage to my wounded shoulder. Ethan wouldn’t care what kind of bullet it was. He’d come in and help and would keep his mouth shut about what he found. It wasn’t as if he had anyone but Jeremy to tell.

But the thought of anyone knowing how deep into Adrian’s grip I was kept me going. I pressed deeper into the wound. The tips of the tweezers hit something hard. It sent shudders through my body as they scraped against the bullet, pushing it the tiniest bit deeper.

I hadn’t hit it dead on, so I was forced to move the tweezers around until I was able to slip the ends past the bullet. I could feel resistance where I was pushing against flesh, but at least I wasn’t scraping bone.

It took me forever to get the bullet out. The tweezers kept slipping off the surface. I managed to wiggle it a little farther each time, until I was finally able to get a good grip on it. I yanked it free with a cry of pain. The bullet dropped into the bottom of the tub where it rolled into the drain.

I just about collapsed into the shower. If I thought I’d felt exhausted before, I was near dead now. Blood stained the running water crimson as the wound started bleeding again.

It took me a good ten minutes before I was finally able to force myself to my feet. The water was getting cold, which was fine. It numbed me where the pulses of pain radiated from my shoulder through the rest of my body. I grabbed the soap, figuring I best get it over with, and scrubbed myself clean.

I shut off the shower and the fumbled around in the drain until my frozen fingers wrapped around the bullet. I took it and gingerly dried it off. Thankfully, the towel was already red, so it wouldn’t show the remnants of blood. I tossed it into the hamper with the rest of my bloody clothes before heading into my bedroom. I plopped down onto my bed and looked at the bullet.

Silver; just like the man said.

I turned it over in my hand slowly. If it weren’t for Adrian, I’d be dead right now. Maybe I was being too hard on the wolf. Sure, he was a royal prick and intent on making me his mate, but he’d also made me immune to silver. He’d even saved my life a few times. Was it really so bad being sworn to him? I was beginning to wonder.

A knock came at my door. I looked at the bullet in my hand a moment longer before slipping it beneath my pillow.

“One sec,” I called. It took all my remaining energy to stand so I could get dressed. From the tentative sound of the knock, I was sure it was Ethan. He wouldn’t want to come in and see me naked, though it wouldn’t have been the first time. I might have called him in just to see the look of shock on his face if it weren’t for the wound in my shoulder. I didn’t want him to know I’d been hurt.

The hole was oozing blood, so I hurried into the bathroom, found some gauze, and taped it in place before slipping on an old T-shirt. I threw on a pair of sweats and then sat down on the bed before calling for Ethan to come in.

He opened the door and stepped inside. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. I scooted up farther onto the bed so that I was propped up against the headboard. I wasn’t so sure I could stay sitting upright much longer.

Ethan glanced around the room briefly before closing the door. He crossed the room and sat at the foot of the bed, facing me. He looked troubled.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I . . . I’ve been thinking a lot lately.” He looked down at his hands, which were busy trying to break one another. “Do you think you’ll do it?”

“Do what?”

“You know . . .” He bit his lower lip. “I mean, it has to be enticing, right?”

“Ethan, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He glanced up at me and I saw real concern there. “Beligral’s offer.”

Oh, hell, I’d completely forgotten about the demon and his offer. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. I was so not ready to think about this.

“It’s just . . .” Ethan sighed. “I don’t know. I’m scared. What if he can do it? What if you go through with this? What becomes of me?”

“What do you mean by that?” I looked him up and down. He looked terrified, like he thought I was ready to run away again. His fear made me hate myself just a little more. I never should have done that to him.

“If you’re human again, you couldn’t do this.” He spread his hands wide, as if to encompass the entire city. “I wouldn’t want you to. You might survive for a little while, but sooner or later, someone would get to you.”

“They might get to me now.”

“Yeah, but you’re strong now. You can match their strength. What happens when that’s no longer the case?”

He had a point, one I’d thought of on my own.

“Look, Ethan,” I said, forcing myself to sit up straighter. I suppressed a groan as my shoulder flared. “I won’t leave you alone to fend for yourself.”

He nodded and looked away. “I know that, but . . .”

“There’s no buts here,” I said. “I won’t leave you like that
ever
again. If I someday decide to take the demon up on his offer—which is unlikely—I’ll do it when it suits all of us. I won’t risk people dying for my own purposes. I will not let it hurt you, Jeremy, or anyone else.”

“But your humanity . . .”

“Isn’t worth your life.”

He looked at me then. Tears glistened in his eyes.

“I know I’ve fucked up a lot lately. This . . .
thing
. . . has gotten inside my head, made me careless. I’m truly sorry about that. I will
never
let that happen again. I promise you, I’ll be more careful. I’ll try harder.”

My mind flashed to Thomas lying buried out back. If Ethan and Jeremy weren’t enough reasons to try to be better, then what I’d done to my own brother sure as hell was. I wouldn’t let my friends end up like him.

“Okay,” Ethan said. He tried to smile, but it didn’t come anywhere close to reaching his eyes. “I should probably go.” He stood.

“Ethan,” I said. I started to reach for him, but hissed in a pained breath instead. My shoulder felt like someone was stabbing it with a hot poker.

He waved me off. “It’s okay,” he said. He nodded toward my wounded shoulder. “You should stitch that up before you go to bed. Otherwise, it’ll seep through the bandage and stain the sheets.”

I gave him a surprised look, at which he only laughed. Ethan turned, gave me a knowing wink, and walked out of the room.