Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (14 page)

My legs shook uncontrollably and my knees buckled. Before I could understand what had happened, I was already on the floor, staring at him in pure terror, as he smiled softly, running a hand across his long hair.

“I better not bring out my wings. I’m not in the mood to rebuild your living room.” His look suggested it was the furniture’s fault for being of such poor quality, and I noticed I’d stopped breathing. He looked at me for a moment and seemed slightly annoyed. “Tsk. Had I known you’d be left in that deplorable state, I wouldn’t have shown you any of this,” he remarked like someone had just stolen his favorite toy, and sat back on the armchair, looking outside once again, as if those treetops had suddenly more interest than me.

For a while, after he went quiet, all I could hear was the crazed beating of my own heart. Then, as the raging thunder started to slow down, all that was left was my heavy breathing. I made myself count as I breathed in and out repeatedly, and gathered enough autonomy to look away from the nothingness I was staring into to look back at him.

He sat on the armchair completely unmoving, that perfect statue once again. His violet eyes had a slight glow about them, reflecting the light coming from the window, bringing life to that inhumanly beautiful face. This was the image I recalled from that horrific night. The hand in which he rested his head was the same that had almost choked me to death. But, even though his hair had grown longer and his eyes had changed color, he was still the same. The same creature I’d been able to talk to just until a moment ago. The same that had shaken hands with half the girls at school and had just kissed my mother’s cheek.

I frowned. Why should I be more afraid of him now? Just because of two insignificant changes? There were still things I wanted to ask him!

“Where ...?” I wanted to ask, but my lips moved silently without uttering a single word. I pressed them together and swallowed, and took a deep breath to try again. “Where ... did you come from?” I managed to whisper and his unmoving face was once again taken by surprise. Maybe he’d thought I wouldn’t be able to speak again, and that I would just sit there like a broken doll.

“Because you want to send me back?” he responded coldly and I couldn’t help shivering. In truth I wanted that more than anything. And who could blame me? However, that hadn’t been the reason behind my question.

“Um ...” I cleared my throat and tried to explain myself as best as I could. “The ... book,” I tried, making use of all my self-control, but the fear that he might get angry was like a rope tied around my neck.

He sat silent as before, trying to understand what I’d meant with my few mumbled words, and I thought I saw him frown.

“If you’re asking me if I came from the book, the answer is no. That book is just a bunch of paper like all the other books lying around,” he answered dryly.

“But what then?” I insisted, wondering if it was a good idea trying to pursue that matter.

“The spoken word has a great power. One that most of you foolish Humans ignore.” I tried as hard as I could to make sense of what he’d just told me.

“Are you saying that even without the book ...”

“In your case you can even say that that book saved your life. If not for that Protection Circle, you’d most likely be torn apart by the strength of the words, since you’re not even a Magic User,” he added with some despise.

I didn’t quite understand, except for the fact that the Circle that, until then, I’d thought completely useless, had actually saved my life.

I hesitated before voicing my next question. I dreaded him liking it even less, getting angry, maybe ending up destroying the living room after all or worse, the whole house. But not me. He couldn’t harm me, right? I repeated that same idea a few times in my head as if it were some Magic Spell.

“And die? Can you?”

He half closed his eyes until they were nothing but two thin slits and, if he had been angry, he managed to restrain it. Unlike the fierce blazing violence that emanated from him every time he was angry, the air around me seemed to grow colder.

“I can,” he answered in his deep voice and for a moment those words filled the room. “However, it’s not something that none of you Humans can hope to accomplish before I tear you to pieces.” This time it was a clear threat and I was sure I would have fallen down if I hadn’t already been on the floor. He stood up with a frightening fast movement that made my heart jump and start beating wildly, and I cowered against the doorframe. “And enough of this game. I’m going out.” Before I could say anything, he disappeared right in front of me, leaving in his place a soft rain of shiny dark dust.

When I returned to my senses, I dragged myself to the kitchen and put two frozen pizzas in the oven. I didn’t feel like cooking, a strange emptiness filling me inside, leaving my mind in blessed silence. I sat on a chair, arms on the table, and waited.

I’d learned a few important things, and as much about him as about myself. Above all I came to understand I’d never be able to get rid of him all on my own. He was not some spirit one might exorcise. He was flesh and blood, able of the most basic human activities, including dying. And yet, he was far from being Human. That last fact had become especially clear in my mind. Since the night I’d evoked him, he’d become my cousin Gabriel. And the ease with which he had mingled in with the Human world had almost diluted the truth. He was, nevertheless, the same from that night. The same creature with dark, long hair, violet eyes and wings of destruction.

At that moment I had only one last idea of how to find a solution to my problem — I’d have to go back to that store, hoping to meet that old woman again. With some luck she’d be able to tell me a bit more about the matter.

It was only after the pizzas were ready that I noticed I had made lunch for two.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Like at lunch, I had dinner all by myself, grateful for the silence and peace that, just a few days ago, would have left me kind of depressed. After tidying up the kitchen, I decided to choose which book I’d lend Michael next; a decision too important to be made lightly and without proper consideration.

I was sitting on the ground, surrounded by some of my favorite books, when the sound of small bell echoed in the room. I jumped, startled, reflexively trying to run away, and hit the bookshelf. My frightened gaze went through everything around me, as panic threatened to overcome me, until I finally found its origins. Sitting on my bed, watching me with huge silver eyes, was a small black cat. Around its neck was a thin, red-velvet ribbon from which a small golden bell hung.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and released the tension that immediately had taken over my body.

“God, you scared me,” I confessed and smiled since he was still staring at me. “Where did you come from? I believe I closed the kitchen window,” I muttered, trying to think backwards. I remembered opening it in the morning. I kneeled on the floor and reached out, trying not to scare him. “Come here, little one,” I said, invitingly, and he tilted his head, moving his pointy ears. I smiled, noticing that he was listening and approached him slowly. “I won’t hurt you,” I reassured him, allowing him to smell my hand and, as he didn’t get scared, ran a hand over his black head. His fur was thin and soft, common among young cats, and I couldn’t help smiling when he closed his bright eyes, rubbing his muzzle against my hand. “Oh, you’re so cute!” I noted and held its golden bell, looking carefully for any mark, name or phone number that might tell me who his owner was. “I’m sure you have someone you belong to. Someone that is probably looking for you.”

The kitten jumped from the bed, nimbly landing on my legs, and rubbed its lean body against my belly, purring. I laughed as I understood his obvious request for some petting and picked him up, noticing how light and soft he was.

“Are you hungry?” I asked standing up and it cuddled his head between my arms, closing his eyes contented. “Let’s see what I can find downstairs.”

I happily went back to the kitchen as the small cat purred in my arms, but as soon as I reached the base of the stairs, another sound made me stop — footsteps!

He was back, I thought as my heart jumped into another crazy run and my smile faded away. Tension filled my muscles and, as if he had also felt it, the small cat stopped purring, watching me closely with his large silver eyes.

“Everything is fine,” I said with a smile, trying to reassure him, and walked over to the living room.

I stopped by the door and couldn’t help staring inside completely stunned. He was standing by the window, watching the night sky, black hair falling down his back over a garnet shirt. He looked at me with his disturbing violet gaze and fixed the small animal curled up in my arms with an intrigued expression. Reflexively, I held him even closer to my chest, as if that would be enough to protect him, and tried to divert his attention.

“What’s all this?” I asked, looking at the bags filling the room, scattered all over the place, and he faced me once again.

“Your new wardrobe,” he replied in his usual deep and complacent tone.

“My what?”

“Your new ward ...”

“I heard what you said!” I cut off, slightly raising my voice. I clearly felt anger gather inside me and allowed it to take over, knowing it was the only time I was able to tell him what I really thought.

He looked surprised, for a few seconds, but then seemed to lose all interest in our talk and, taking two bags off the armchair, sat down.

“I’m not wearing any of this!” I stated in my most authoritarian tone and he shrugged, indifferently.

“Then you can go out naked. It’ll be quite interesting,” he added with a light smile that only made me angrier.

“I have a wardrobe full of clothes.”

“Not anymore, you don’t.” I opened my mouth in disbelief, but it didn’t even occur to me to doubt him.

“What!”

“Did you not hear me?” he asked me, sarcastically, and I didn’t know what to answer. “It’s rather simple. If you want to seduce a man, be a woman,” he said as if stating the obvious, and I kept standing there, gaping, my ability to think clearly escaping me completely. “And now that that nuisance is gone, we can finally start working towards fulfilling this Contract.”

“Nuisance?” I repeated aghast. “My mother? Was that your ...?” He smiled, looking proud of himself, and took a deep breath.

“It was becoming tiresome, having to restrain myself for such long periods of time. Having to do it at school is quite enough,” he confessed. “Besides, now I’ll have more room to move. And, anyway, she obviously went happily, even if it meant leaving you behind.”

“How?” I asked, more to myself than really expecting an answer. I couldn’t help wonder if his powers had no limit!

“It really wasn’t all that hard. Your mother is, in fact, quite talented. All I had to do was place the right people at the right place. A small suggestion and everything was solved,” he explained with frightening simplicity.

I felt lost. He was manipulating everything and everyone around me. All because of that stupid Contract!

The small cat resting in my arms jumped to the ground, landing gracefully, and the sound of its small bell filled the room as it ran towards Gabriel. I wished I could stop it, afraid of what he might do to him, but all I could do was reach out my hand, unable to take a single step to help him. With a nimble jump he landed on Gabriel’s lap, purring as he lay his head on his front paws, his thin tail curled around his small body. I froze in place when I saw Gabriel raise his pale hand over the little kitten, but he gently caressed his soft black fur. The kitten purred even louder and he smiled, leaving me breathless. I’d never seen him smile like that. Worse, I’d never even thought possible that he might be able to smile like that! And the absence of the choking feeling of panic and the sudden disappearance of the anger I normally felt towards him was even scarier. Not wanting to think about that any longer, I turned away and ran upstairs to the safety of my room.

I looked at the books scattered around the floor and knew that now I’d never be able to choose one to lend Michael. Refusing to open my wardrobe to verify his claims, I decided to go to bed and try to forget all about it, even if just for a few hours.

Chapter Five

DES

– The Slave-Gods superseded.

The Vision of the Stl of Revealing,

abolishing the Aeon of the Slave-Gods.
1
–

“I smile ironically before my own lie.

I look at the world around me searching for someone that will be able to see beyond my make-believe act.

But no one sees me... no one listens... no one feels me...

and so, in a mute scream, I fall in this dark precipice... and I go insane.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hen the alarm clock rang, just the thought of what awaited me outside made me wish I’d never have to wake up again.

I sighed, sitting up, and looked at the small black fur ball curled beside my pillow.

“Hey, how did you get here?” I asked, petting him between his ears, and the little kitten opened his silver eyes, stretching and yawning as he showed a perfect line of small sharp teeth. Purring soundly, he rubbed his muzzle against my hand and I couldn’t help smiling. “No time to play with you now,” I said, gently placing him on the floor, and stood up to open the curtains for another gray day.

With the bleak reminder of last night’s talk, I readied myself for the worst and opened my wardrobe. It was empty, as I suspected, and even though I’d already known what was in store for me that morning, I couldn’t help feeling outraged as I opened the draws finding them completely empty as well. With the exception of the one containing my underwear and some old clothes I normally used around the house, everything else was gone.

“Ah! At least I have the right to choose which bra to wear!” I protested, annoyed, and the sound of sharp claws against the wooden door made me look away. I sighed, leaving my morning annoyance to open the door and the kitten slipped outside smelling and sticking his nose in one of the bags waiting in the corridor.

I didn’t have to guess what they contained as picked them up, stealing the kitten’s new toy. He followed me back inside, his bell ringing softly, and I emptied the bags on my bed. I recalled having seen many others like these in the living room and supposed he had left them by my door, knowing I wouldn’t have what to wear.

Against my will, I put on a trapezoidal dark-blue skirt, too short for my taste, and a white shirt of which I had to cut off the store’s tag. On top of it I wore a blue pullover that, unlike mine, always two sizes up, fitted me perfectly, and put on black wool stockings. I grumbled as I noticed that not even my shoes had escaped the purge and was obliged to wear the new pair he’d gotten me with a small heel and a delicate bow on the front.

I looked at myself in the mirror and placed a hand to my face in complete despair. I looked like a walking broomstick, I thought. My legs too thin, my knees too bony, no chest to talk about. Angrily, I threw the wardrobe’s door with so much strength that it closed and opened again. I washed my face and combed my straw-like hair that never looked good, and wished I could just put back my pajamas and return to bed.

The small kitten watched me by the bathroom door and I picked it up, taking a deep breath.

“If I start missing school, Mom will worry,” I sighed, mentally preparing myself for the terrible day ahead, and went downstairs, too aware of my new shoes, trying as hard as I could not to fall from my heels.

I peered into the kitchen before going in and felt relieved when I didn’t see him. Placing the kitten on the floor, I looked for a bowl that I could use to give him some milk. I noticed last day’s dishes, all washed, on the rack. He’d eaten the extra pizza I’d left in the oven and I couldn’t help remembering how he’d said that eating was interesting.

I washed my hands and, with a sigh, set a table for two.

Long calm footsteps announced his arrival and I readied myself to face him. He came in without a word, taking his usual place, and I placed the plate with the toast on the center of the table, looking for some juice in the fridge.

I heard him bite the crunchy bread and dared to look at him. His hair was short, once again, his eyes black. The shirt he wore was dark-red falling over a pair of washed out jeans. Just like any other Human Being.

“May I ask when I’ll be getting my clothes back?” I asked, not daring to sit, and he raised his head to look at me.

“When our Contract is fulfilled.”

“This!” I stated pulling at my pullover with two fingers. “This won’t help achieve anything! I’m still too thin and too plain! Besides, I have this horrible hair and eyes that seem to be staring wide at everyone I look at! You’re wrong if you think that new clothes will be enough to save my appearance!” I exploded in complete exasperation and stood there, breathless, as if I’d just spent all my energy to speak at him like that.

“That’s not my intention,” he countered, completely ignoring my outburst. “In truth there’s nothing to be saved, since there’s nothing wrong with you. The problem is that some Human Beings are too dumb and don’t know how to see. You look, but you don’t see. And so, sometimes, big, perceptive signs are needed. Your new clothes are just one of those signs. Its only purpose is to draw the other’s attention to what’s already there.”

I was stunned and incredulous, and confused.

He turned his attention back to his toast and ate it calmly, chewing it slowly as if savoring every detail of every movement he made, far from the automatic way people normally ate.

I pulled a chair and sat down, grabbing a toast.

I had the feeling ... no ... I was sure! That had been the biggest compliment I had ever received.

The bell of the small kitten woke me from my dream-like state and I saw him jump on his lap, rubbing against him and purring, his silver eyes closed in pure bliss.

“Morning, Lea,” I heard him say in a low tone, and his voice was so soft that it was lost amongst all that purring.

It was simply too much, I decided while watching him caressing the kitten’s black fur. That cat ... that cat was magical, I concluded in a moment of pure delusion.

However, when we left home, I was already very much aware of the dark influence of his presence over me, even though I walked to school keeping my distance, constantly resizing my footsteps according to his.

I stopped by the classroom’s door for an instant and took a deep breath. I wished with all my heart that, like usual, no one would notice me, and went in. For a second it looked like my prayers had been heard, but as I crossed the room towards my desk, eyes started to follow me, making me blush and rush to my chair.

“Wow! Mari! New clothes?” Joanne asked enthusiastically and I just nodded. “It fits you really well!”

“Oh, please. Stop making fun of me,” I pleaded between my teeth, making use of my hair to hide my reddened face, as people were still staring at me, commenting under their breath.

“But it’s the truth! Steph was right. Dressed differently you totally look like someone else,” Joanne insisted, trying to cheer me up. I wished I could cry, but, as usual, I could never do it when I wanted.

“I hate these clothes. I hate all this!” I muttered and, to my relief, Mr. Frederich arrived, putting an end to all the talk.

Recess came too fast and, with a deep breath, I faced Steph’s curious expression that, typically, had been late.

“So? What happened that gave birth to that change?” she asked me all excited and I sighed once again.

“Nothing, really,” I answered, feeling more depressed by the minute. Of course, I could have told her that my old clothes had magically disappeared, but I thought better and kept my mouth shut.

“What do you mean, nothing?” she persisted and I knew I wouldn’t get rid of the subject that easily.

“My cousin wouldn’t leave me alone until I went shopping with him,” I replied. If only I could cry whenever I felt sad enough to do it by then I’d be a river of tears.

“Your cousin?” Steph repeated, sounding even more incredulous. But then a smile touched her lips. “Oh, I see we think alike, him and me.”

I took a deep breath. That was nothing I hadn’t already anticipated. Steph had always insisted that I dress differently, trying to make me buy new dresses and skirts every time we went out. To top it off, I’d been forced to justify Gabriel leaving with me at lunch by telling her he’d decided to support me in my unrequited love. Even though the others thought I spent my lunch break in the library, Steph knew the truth. And, not surprisingly, Steph had started to see Gabriel as her ally in managing my love affairs.

”At last! Someone to put some sense in your head!” she retorted as I bagged my things. “And it looks really good on you!”

“Spare me!” I objected and she hit me lightly over the head.

“Don’t be a fool!” she told me angrily. “If it didn’t look good, I’d be the first to tell you! You really have a distorted image of yourself!”

“Come on, Steph. I’m too skinny,” I argued placing both hands on my nearly flat chest.

“Nonsense! That’s what I call having a distorted image of yourself! If someone were to hear you, they’d think you’re anorexic or something. There are many girls around thinner than you. You have a delicate look about you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I find it very pretty. You always remind me of a ballerina.” She gave me a friendly smile, but I sighed, deeply unhappy.

“A five-feet-tall ballerina,” I grumbled and she put an arm around my shoulders, enveloping me with ease.

“Just wait and see. Michael won’t be the only one staring at you,” she added, sounding amused, and I wanted to cry just thinking about what awaited me at lunch.

I spent the rest of the morning hearing murmured comments behind my back and seeing people I hardly knew watching me with various expressions. It was as if suddenly I’d become the school’s novelty. It reminded me all too much of when Gabriel had just shown up, saying he’d been transferred. So, as soon as class was over, I ran out the door, waiting for Steph in corridor.

I was practically glued to her when I went down to the cafeteria. Remaining near Steph always gave me a feeling of security and, out-going and funny as she was, normally all attention was drawn towards her and I could pass by unnoticed. Even so I couldn’t avoid Sahara’s encouraging words, Albert’s stunned look and Kevin’s smile, much less Joe’s idiotic comments.

Gabriel joined us, greatly increasing my level of stress, and I had to hold onto Joanne’s arm, since Steph had abandoned me. I saw her approach Gabriel with a smile and tell him something. He smiled gently as he listened and they went on talking, probably about me. If only I had a hole I could crawl into. All I wished for was a deep, dark one.

I could hardly eat anything. I looked at my practically untouched plate and felt frustrated. Eating was pretty much the only thing I could do in trying to improve my looks. It was the only way to fight against the genetic code imbedded in my cells, the only strategy left so I wouldn’t be defeated! And now I wasn’t even able to do that.

“Shall we go?” his soft voice echoed above the general noise of the cafeteria, although he had spoken in a normal tone.

I wished I could tell him no. I didn’t want to go anywhere. However, his dark gaze placed such a heavy pressure on me that I felt, should I refuse, I’d end up being crushed. I clenched my fists and forced my trembling legs to move. Steph winked at me, confident. He said goodbye to the others with that nice-guy smile on his face, joking with Joanne and promising to lend Joe some CD, and walked away taking his tray.