Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (80 page)

I nodded, not wanting to counter him on that, and tried to move on with our talk.

“And Lea?”

“He’s downstairs. He and Sigweardiel are making culinary experiments, since they have so many new ingredients.”

“New ingredients?” I repeated, in complete alarm mode, and then sighed knowing it would be completely useless trying to make them behave like normal people. “And there go my provisions,” I lamented and he smiled, dazzling me since I still hadn’t got used to seeing him show me those kinds of gentle expressions. “So, have you returned a long time ago?”

“Some. I’ve been sitting here, watching you sleep,” he tranquilly admitted while I couldn’t help blush. “And I was thinking just how much smaller and frailer you look while you are sleeping. And then I couldn’t help wonder how someone as ... breakable as you could so easily sleep in my arms, like you did yesterday. You’re either quite insane, or stupidly naive.”

I frowned, annoyed, asking myself if he was trying to pick a fight. “I trust you!” I argued and he smiled coldly.

“My point exactly,” he replied and I sighed, stretching my hand towards him like he’d done so many times to me. He looked at it for a moment and finally ended up accepting my silent invitation, softly brushing his fingers against mine. I held his hand the way he didn’t dare hold mine, and pulled him to me. And his body yielded before my insignificant strength and fell over the bed. I stretched my legs so he could use them as a pillow and smiled when I saw him close his eyes, as if he’d just fallen asleep.

I touched his soft, cold hair, playing with the dark strands between my fingers and couldn’t help think about how much things had changed. The sweet scent that enveloped made me dizzy, for a minute, and when I noticed it he’d raised his body enough so that his face was standing right in front of me, irresistibly fascinating. I didn’t dare move, knowing that if I did I wouldn’t be able to resist the desire of touching him. He leaned his head slowly, coming even closer, and stopped almost touching my neck, making me shiver at the anticipation of his cold touch. I heard him take a deep breath, as if he wanted to fill his lungs with the air around me, and then he fell silent for what felt like a long time.

“Mariane.” His whisper made me shudder, the warmth of his breath making my heart beat even faster, and I clenched my fists over the quilt.

“Just stop that and kiss me,” I commanded between my teeth and he moved very slowly, so he could look at me again, his lips so close to mine that I could feel the cold of his skin.

“Not today. I really don’t think I’ll be able to control myself if I do.”

His words sounded closer to an irresistible challenge. Somehow, and although I knew it was for my sake, knowing he was constantly restraining his own will made me angry. I didn’t want him to restrain himself at all! I wanted him to kiss me. And touch me. And be at least half as crazy about me as I was about him. And so, before he could pull back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his, applying all I had learned from his own lips, making sure he would never say my kisses were childish ever again. I felt him recoil and I kissed him even more passionately, holding him with all my strength, although I knew he could easily push me away.

His hands touched my waist, shaking and hesitant, and for a moment tried to gently break us apart. However, in the next instant, they were pulling me against him, and pushing me down on the bed. His lips took absolute control over mine, and I found myself breathless and gasping for air. My body was burning up, my brain melting inside my head, and I hugged him not knowing what to do with that destructive force raging inside of me. His hands easily tore the collar of my sweatshirt, uncovering one of my shoulders which he ravenously kissed. His cold hands slipped under my sweater, his fingers digging into my ribs, and I bit my lower lip to silence the pain.

The air around us changed, became heavier and harder to breathe, and soft, silky cold strands of hair slid over my neck. When I managed to focus enough, I noticed he was no longer kissing me, or moving, his body trembling just as much as mine. His fingers were still painfully buried between my ribs, almost as if he was about to stab me, and the air escaped through his lips in a bitter hiss.

“Please ... stop me.”

The shock that washed over me felt like a bucket of cold water had just been poured down my head, and I was suddenly frozen in place, unable to move even an inch. It was the pain that brought me back to life, as his fingers dug even more into my skin. I slowly tried to move an arm and it was all it took to transform his cold fingers into daggers. I clenched down my teeth, bearing the pain, and placed a hand over his head, startled to feel how long his hair had become.

“Hush,” I whispered as if he were no more than a frightened child and tried to keep my breathing as shallow as possible to avoid any sharper pain. “I’m right here.”

“I want you desperately.”

My whole body burnt up, back to that living hell at the sound of that whisper, but the pain spreading over my ribs didn’t allow my mind to lose itself in his words.

“I know. And I am yours, remember. My Soul belongs to you, Nyx,” I replied and he seemed to relax just a bit.

“Right now my mind is filled ... with images that I can’t control ... terrible images,” he admitted in a hoarse tone, and I slowly caressed his head, trying to calm him down.

“Don’t look, then. Look at me, instead,” I told him, and tried to make him move so that I could see his face. “Look at me, Nyx!”

He slowly moved his head sideways, resting it on my shoulder, and his violet eyes glowed with that frightening crimson color, his long hair falling over his face, casting dark shadows over his pale skin. I swallowed the lump of fear that clothed my throat for a moment and touched his face, lightly, trying to stop my hand from shaking as he kept very still, staring at me with that deadly gaze.

“Tell me what you see.”

His fingers twitched, sending waves of sharp pain through my ribs, and I bit the inside of my mouth so it wouldn’t show in my face.

“My hands ... stained with your blood,” he spoke smoothly in that voice I loved so much, the words sliding through his motionless lips, and I felt frozen again. “I see me breaking your body ... I hear you screaming in pain ... I see you helplessly trying to fight me, as if you could ever win over me. Because I’ve never desired anything, as I desire you, and it’s something that I can’t control. Even now, knowing that I’m hurting you, smelling the pain and the fear on your skin ... my desire to have you is stronger than my will to let go of you.”

I gently pulled back the long strands of hair that were falling on his face and smiled as I noticed that his dark words had only made me love him even more.

“It’s OK. I don’t mind staying here with you, forever if that’s what you want. In truth, I wouldn’t even mind dying here, in your arms, if I didn’t know how much it would ... hurt you,” I dared guess and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply. His fingers seemed to lose a bit more of their strength and I could breathe more at ease, as I patiently straightened his hair.

“I can’t allow myself to lose you, but, no matter how much I try to understand ... how much I think about it, I just can’t understand what binds me to you. The only thing I know is that it’s so strong and intense that it overpowers everything else ... all my other thoughts and desires. And then everything is mixed up, because the only thing I know that’s like this is the effervescent excitement of trapping someone and ... tearing them to pieces. And I know you don’t understand, but the tearing of flesh, and the breaking of bones, the warmth of the blood, its acid iron smell ...”

I felt my stomach clench and put a hand over his lips, silencing him. I regretted my gesture immediately, but already too late, knowing I’d just reacted like a mere Human, recalling the talk I’d had with Alexander that morning. It was exactly as he’d told me. Gabriel didn’t know anything else besides that world of darkness and his mind tried to place everything else inside the few categories and emotions he’d acquired in there.

I swallowed hard, trying to pull myself together, and faced his eyes that looked coldly and attentively at me.

“You’re saying that ... inside you, your desire for me blends with your desire to kill me?” I had the courage to ask but he didn’t answer. I silently caressed his soft hair and tried to understand what kind of damage that realization had made inside me, but I felt nothing beyond that ice-cold fear piercing my chest.

“You fear me, now? You know you should, don’t you?” he asked, without even waiting for an answer. “You smell of fear.”

I frowned, displeased with his conclusion, and pulled his ear, which tore an expression of surprise from his face.

“Stop making assumptions about what I may or not feel, based on my smell!” I scolded him. “When you do that I always feel like I’m talking to some animal, or something!” He looked dumbfounded for an instant and then laughter rolled off his lips, releasing me from his threatening fingers.

“Really, an animal. Just like you to say something like that in the middle of such a gruesome and serious talk.”

I took a deep breath, relieved for being able to do it again, but the places he’d pressed still hurt, as if needles had remained embedded in my skin. His cold sneer told me he’d noticed, too, and I faced him unwavering.

“Your eyes, when they have that red glow, they scare me,” I confessed. “And it’s not because I’m afraid of you. It’s just that I always feel that, when you look at me like that, you’re not really seeing me, you’re not really you. Almost as if part of you had been taken away. And I know it is you, and that it’s not like your unconscious or anything, but I always get the feeling that it’s not the you you want to be ... like you’re being pushed to do things that you really don’t want to do. And I always feel it must be very painful, and lonely for the real you to be forcibly swept away like that.” He averted his gaze, clearly disturbed by my words. “Of course I know I should fear you. I told myself that same thing over and over again, until I gave up. The same way I can’t just stop feeling the way I do about you, I also can’t start fearing you just because I should. I’m really sorry to disappoint you,” I added with a light smile, and he raised his head, resting it on his hand, so he could look at me.

I stared back at him, his eyes back to its violet color, his black hair falling over his shoulders, pouring over my bed. I was once more lost in the perfection of that image where nothing seemed out of place and raised a hand to touch him. His cold skin sent a tingling sensation through my fingers and he held it gently, placing a kiss on my palm, sending my heart into a crazed race.

“Just be still,” he told me, placing my hand over my chest. “I want to try something.” I looked at him suspiciously and he smiled. “Nothing dangerous, I promise. But I need you to be quiet.”

I nodded like a good girl and he smiled again before closing his eyes.

Even though I knew I should be used to it by now, I was still amazed when his long hair started to get shorter again, the air around us becoming lighter and easier to breathe. Gabriel frowned slightly, as if he was concentrating on something difficult, and his lips murmured soft words that I couldn’t understand. To my surprise, dark lines appeared on his skin, growing and stretching in elegant curves and thorny circles, up his neck, across his face and around his left eye. His forehead took on a glistening look and small droplets of sweat appeared over his skin. But his presence became even lighter until I could hardly feel him, even though he was right there, beside me. For the first time, I was able to stop shaking and shuddering just because we were close to each other. And then I suddenly realized what he was doing and what those dark lines really meant, and my heart jumped into an urgent beat.

“Nyx!” I called him, angry, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, ready to shake him if needed until he opened his eyes, but he just fell heavily on the bed, as if I’d pushed him with all my strength. I turned and squirmed to get under his heavy leg, and sat up to look at him, anxiously. The black lines were still growing, now across his forehead, and I sat on his stomach, shaking him with all my strength. “Stop that! Just stop it! Open your eyes!” I demanded and my sight blurred, a bitter taste filling my mouth. “Can you hear me?!” I shouted and a tear escaped my control, sliding down my face and falling on his neck, burning his pale skin. I immediately dried my tears, frustrated for not being able to stop crying, and my sobs echoed all around us.

“That ... hurts.” His dragged voice silenced all the other sounds. I looked down at him, still in disbelief, tears streaming down my face, and he smiled lightly. “Are you crying, Mariane?” he asked in a weak and strained voice, raising a hand to touch me, and I quickly swatted it, pushing it away.

“If it hurts don’t touch me!” I complained and rubbed my eyes again, fiercely drying the tears on my sleeves, hoping they would just stop appearing.

“Are you angry?” he asked me, chuckling, and I looked back at him more than angry. And yet, my gaze fell on all those dark lines and the pain was so deep that my vision blurred again, sending new tears sliding down my cheeks. “Mariane.” I was dazed by the sound of my name in his voice and, when I noticed, his cold fingers were already drying my tears. I pushed him hard, pulling away, and used my sleeves again.

“Are you an idiot! What was that for?”

“It’s fine. This is nothing compared with the many marks I left on your skin.” I looked at him astounded and he smiled, although he seemed pensive about something. “Why are you crying? If you’re crying it means your Soul is suffering. I thought it would be easier for you to be close to me like this.