Blood Soaked and Invaded - 02 (32 page)

“It’s Chu,” Charlie said.

It was all she managed to get out of her mouth before we were tackled by a speeding neighbor. The three of us made quite a racket when we landed on the floor of the loft.

“Can I be happy for the two of you?” Chunhua asked, leaking a little at the corners of her eyes.

“Sure, honey!” Charlie stole her from me and they rolled around giggling and hugging on the floor.

I rose up to my knees and smiled. Somewhere in the back of my head, my partially dormant libido gave the scene a rousing thumbs-up. I had to agree, the scene was... scenic, if platonic.

“Remember, I told you to go make strong babies with her!” Chunhua giggled like a fool. “And I got to see you do it! You virile bastard, you!”

“Don’t remind me about that part,” I waved my hands, “I’m still embarrassed about it.”

“You’re just lucky I didn’t have a video camera!”

Charlie and I both squealed, “No,” at the same time. Our guest laughed harder, so hard she snorted. That set Charlie and me into a fit of laughter. It was a hell of a release. Sometimes you don’t know just how tightly you’re holding yourself in until you let it go.

I’d paid my debt. We were all as safe as we could be at that moment. My love and I were going to have a baby, and her brother didn’t appear to be interested in killing me. Charlie once said to treasure the normal moments, and I meant to do exactly that... although Shawn could decide to do me in at any given moment. There’s always a catch.

“So, um,” I stammered, “did Shawn mention how he feels about the turn of events?”

Chu looked up from her cozy place beside Charlie on our bedroll and crossed her arms behind her head.

“Well, he came in the door at my place, plopped down on the sofa and told me the news. Then he got up and sat down Indian-style on the carpet. I got the feeling he was counting his breaths, but I got so excited that I couldn’t help but run over here.”

“Hmm. The last time he did something like that was when our sister, Lisa, found herself in the family way.” Charlie sounded thoughtful. I debated having a panic attack. “She was the first shotgun wedding in our family. A few of our cousins went about things that way, too.”

“You’d mentioned the lovely customs your family practices before,” I said, attempting to keep a smile on my face. “It is quaint, adorable, even. Yes. Ha.”

“Charlie?”

“Yes, Chu.”

“Your sperm donor does not hide his feelings very well. Have you noticed?”

“Oh yes! That was clear from the moment we met. I think,” she cracked her knuckles, “it is a refreshing character trait, reflecting his innate honesty of the soul.”

“I see. What you’re telling me is you’ll always be able to tell when he’s full of shit because he has no poker face at all. Am I right?”

My girlfriend rolled over and gave her brother’s lover a big kiss on the cheek.

“Chu-baby, you got it in one!”

“You two are making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” they answered, in unison.

Chunhua returned Charlie’s buss on the cheek and bounced to her feet. She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled in close for a really solid hug.

“I make fun of you because I love you. Like I used to say when I was old: you a good man. You need good woman. I’m so happy you have one now!”

What else could I do? I hugged her back as hard as she was hugging me.

“Thank you Grandma. I love you too, even if you look like a 24-year-old hottie now,” I whispered to her.

She looked up at me, projecting the Ancient Chinese version of the Evil Eye.

“You call me ‘Grandma’ again and I make Eight Flavor Crispy Beef with your testicles. ¿Comprendé?”

“Yes, Chunhua!”

She let me go, giggled, scooted down the stairs, and out into the night. I stood there for a minute, watching her go, and I remembered the delicate little old lady she’d been before technology and Aliens intervened. It was a grateful sort of reverie.

“Hey, Baby Daddy, come to bed.”

“Faugh! I want to make a request that you don’t call me that. It makes my sphincter clench.”

“I’ll remember and will leave that off my list of pet names,” Charlie promised. “Come to bed anyway.”

“Sure,” I said, closing the door behind me. “Weren’t we going to eat something?”

“I’m not hungry. Are you?”

“No, not really,” I answered.

My adorable partner said something then that I will not relate. It was descriptive, lewd, suggestive, and made me drool. I thought it was an excellent plan and shucked my dried blood-decorated duds. I actually beat her to a natural state of undress!

“I really hope we don’t have an audience this time,” I wished out loud.

“I couldn’t care less. I just want you. Come here.”

I went there.

Getting up in the morning was another story entirely. A twinge in my abdomen sat me up ramrod straight at 5:23:11am. The first full-blown cramp came 32 seconds later and I slapped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming and waking up the woman beside me.

The last time cramps like these showed up was during the first phase of the nanotech “breeding” program. I’d hoped those days were gone forever, but it looked like that hope was being dashed against the rocks. No such luck. I could feel the urge to scavenge tickling the back of my throat.

Glass was the first thing on the menu.

I saw a Mason jar on one of my shelves, one that I’m sure had originated in Yolanda’s kitchen until I’d appropriated as a water glass. As a passenger in my own body, I saw my hands reach out, grab it, and bring it to my mouth. Silently, I waited for a brittle crunch and sharp pain.

I started to lick it, lovingly, and felt a wave of satisfaction wash through me. Grateful I wouldn’t have a mouth full of lacerations, I relaxed a little bit into the experience, but that didn’t last very long. More cramps gripped me as soon as I put the glass down.

My sense of smell was cranked up to 11, but I couldn’t smell anything in the room my body wanted. With strangely stiff legs, I left the room and stumbled down the stairs. A whiff of something caused my stomach to growl loudly and saliva to fill my closed mouth. I darted across the sales floor to an area I’d seldom visited: craft and hobby supplies.

A sheet of silvery metal from the nicely organized stack of file boxes nearly dissolved under my fingers before I could bring it to my mouth. It didn’t last long after my saliva got to it. Once again, I felt like a baby after sucking down the last drop in the bottle. As awful as the cramps and being walked around like an automaton felt, the post-feeding joy was quite lovely.

“Frank, what in the hell are you doing?”

“Good morning sunshine! My critters are on a feeding frenzy over something,” a brand new cramp bent me over, naked, in the aisle, “and I don’t think they’re quite finished!”

“Oh, baby! Is there anything I can do to help out?”

She started to come down the stairs, making maternal clucking noises. At any other time I might have found that really adorable and comforting, but I was a bit preoccupied with my enraged tummy.

I managed to stand up between episodes and take a big breath. The scent of my next quarry wriggled up my nostrils, and I shot across the store to the cleaning and floor care products. There, my target revealed itself.

A can of floor wax... what the fuck?

My hand touched the can and dissolved the metal so quickly that it looked like a magic trick. Once my fingers touched the waxy goop inside the cramping eased up. Breathing a sigh of relief, I was silently grateful I didn’t have to lick the wax to absorb it. The taste would have been horribly memorable.

“Do you have any idea,” Charlie asked from across the floor, “why the nanobots would want a sheet of Nickel Silver?”

“That’s what it was?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know. Any thoughts about a can of floor wax?”

“No, but I bet your skin will be smooth and silky, with that freshly polished sheen!”

She laughed at me and I tolerated it. After all, whatever my body had decided to do, it looked likely to me that she’d be next. Then again, the pregnancy might keep her nanotech busy with other things.

My eyes crossed, and I lifted my hand out of the empty can, loathing attention deficit for being able to switch my trains of thought without as much as a “by your leave.” The new train of thought was “permutations on the theme of baby.”

“Damn, Frank! You must be thinking big thoughts. You didn’t even comment on what I said!”

I turned to look at her and gave her a wan little smile. Her eyebrows went straight up, and I’m willing to bet she saw right through me. Not literally, I hope.

“Ok. I’ve seen that look on your face before, and it means you’re chapping your own ass about something,” she said, closing the distance between us. “You need to stop that. Chapping your ass is MY job now... Smile like you mean it, damn it!”

I stood up straight with a tiny wail.

“That’s not a smile, Frank.”

“I think I’m about to get rid of the material the nanobots didn’t need. Excuse me,” I said, and sprinted for the bathroom door.

It was epic. That is all I will say about it.

Wisely, my dearest didn’t ask me any questions when I emerged from the room of repose. Instead, she suggested we wash up and start our day, since we were already up and moving. I nodded and followed her into the Spa, making a Herculean effort not to share my experience of moments before.

Getting cleaned up was a marvelous, marvelous plan. I certainly got something out of it. (As a side note to post-apocalyptic hedonists, having your lover wash your back is an absolute joy.) I’m also pretty certain that she had a pleasant time, too.

I hope we didn’t wake Shawn. Since we didn’t hear anything like a thunderous bellow telling us to shut up, I declared us to be safe from Brotherly Retribution.

Chunhua probably heard us giggle and turned her super secret listening powers up to “fry squirrels.” In all honesty, if I’m going to have a neighbor who has an interest in my sex life, I’m glad it’s her. She’s a cheerleader, not a creeper... Maybe.

We were a little shocked when Shoei Omura broke the morning silence between our ears.

“Good morning, everyone. There are going to be some loud noises in a few minutes. Don’t worry about them–we’re getting a supply delivery. Shawn, your packages are arriving. Yolanda and Ómer, you are also receiving what you requested as our de-facto Quartermasters. That’s all.”

Charlie and I exchanged quizzical looks.

“I just realized something,” I said. “They didn’t just turn us into a gulag. They’ve been turning us into a base of operations.”

“I guess that’s why the other doctors didn’t leave and Jeff’s little crew showed up.” She ran her fingers through her wet hair and gave it a toss. “Makes me wonder if we’re going to be getting more personnel on top of them. We definitely need more hard science people to dissect that flying saucer thing.”

“I don’t know, but we know someone who probably does.”

With one or two imaginary pokes on my personal heads-up display I started a little conference call between Omura and the two of us.

“Good morning, you two,” he said.

“You sound chipper today,” Charlie commented.

“I guess I do. I had a good run and look forward to digging into that wreckage after breakfast.”

“Sweet. Charlie and I were wondering about our little city-state and decided to share our curiosity with you.”

“Ah! Let me guess. You want to know if our ranks are going to expand, now that the tech is under control. Am I right?”

“You are a mind reader.” Charlie’s sarcasm was prickly, even in brain-to-brain communication.

“No. I was going to broach the topic at lunchtime, but I don’t see any reason not to spill the beans with you two right now. The short answer is yes. We’re starting an operating base here, and we will be getting about fifty combat volunteers over the next few weeks. They aren’t going to replace the doctors and nurses we’ve lost, but we will be getting a pile of MIT/CALTECH level people by the end of the week.”

It was a good thing we weren’t talking out loud. Something large and noisy came down over the roof of the store and settled down not far away.

“Ah,” Omura said, “that’s the stealth helicopter arriving. Excellent.”

“Shoei, that isn’t stealth at all! It was loud as all get out!”

“Frank, did you hear it approaching?”

“No, Shoei, I didn’t.”

“I rest my case.”

Shoei Omura: US Government black ops, mysterious background, cold-blooded zombie killer, smart ass.

“Do you think you might’ve told everyone about this before today?” Charlie inquired.

“There’s a timeliness issue associated with a distributed chain of command. I didn’t find out until last night. Remember, I don’t get asked–I get told.”

My perturbed partner gave us the mental equivalent of a derisive snort and dropped out of the conversation.

“I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised,” I sent to him.