Bloodchild (14 page)

So up until now hardships, complications, and minor illnesses rarely had slowed her down. She fought back with a voracious appetite for life, proud of the way she had maintained her good looks and good health. But suddenly all that was changing. Time and age, both of which had been battering at her door, had found the door unlocked. Something here had done it—something overwhelming and powerful—and at present she was unable to fight back because she didn't know for sure who or what her adversary was. Confused and distraught, she struggled to maintain her sense of equilibrium and hoped that soon there would be some answers.

"Hi," Trish Lewis said when Jillian opened the door. "I said I'd be back after dinner. Dana up and around?"

"Oh, dear, I forgot about you, Trish." Jillian didn't step back to let her in.

"Something wrong?" she asked, leaning to the side to look past Jillian.

"Oh, something happened with the baby a little while ago and Dana went upstairs with him. I'm sorry. I told her that you were here earlier and—"

"Is that Trish?"

Jillian spun around. Dana was at the top of the stairway, the baby in her arms.

"Hi, Dana." Trish stepped up to the doorway and Dana started down the stairs.

"Come on in. It's all right, Mother. Everything's fine. Trish, I love the little outfit you bought Nikos. Thank you. Is Barry with you?"

"No. Poker night."

"Oh, right," Dana said, smiling. Jillian simply stared at her. Dana's face was full of color and vibrancy. Her eyes sparkled. She had brushed and pinned her hair down neatly and even put on a little lipstick. Now she wore her blue-and-white velvet robe. She looked relaxed, untroubled, healthy, and revived. She looked like her old self. Jillian shook her head in amazement.

"What was wrong with the baby?" she asked.

"Just a little gas, Mother. You can't get so excited every time he cries," she added.

"Me?" Jillian nearly laughed. Her smiled widened as she looked at Trish. "If you were here before—"

"It doesn't matter now," Dana said quickly. "Come into the living room, Trish, and fill me in on all that's been happening." She took Trish's hand.

"Let me see the baby first," Trish said. "Oh, he is adorable," she added when Dana turned Nikos so Trish could get a fuller view. Jillian noted that Nikos's hair had lost more of its bright orange tint. The black that had begun at the roots seemed to be climbing up the thin, short strands with remarkable speed, and the baby's eyes were considerably darker. "What a handsome little face for a baby this young," Trish said. She looked quickly at Jillian, and Jillian understood that Trish was wondering if the baby was indeed as young as it was supposed to be. Trish touched his cheek and Nikos closed his eyes.

"Maybe I should put him in his crib while I have the chance," Dana whispered. "I'll be right down again. Go on. Maybe you can give her a cup of coffee, Mom."

"Sure. Would you like a cup?"

"If you have some made," Trish said.

"What is there to making coffee? Go on into the living room," Jillian said, grateful for these pleasant moments. She was beginning to feel that Dana had become something of a schizophrenic, or maybe a manic-depressive. Such ups and downs, they were hard to understand.

"She looks great," Trish said as soon as Dana went back upstairs. "From the way you sounded before, I expected—"

"Believe me, she has bad moments," Jillian said.

"Never looked healthier to me," Trish insisted. Jillian nodded. "Maybe you're just being a neurotic mother, Jillian. Finally," Trish said, and smiled.

Jillian nodded again. "Who knows anymore?" she said in a tired voice. "Let me put up some coffee. I think I need it," she added, and Trish laughed.

Trish's visit with Dana went well. The two were just like they were before Dana had left to give birth and returned with Nikos. Jillian sat back and stared with pleased amazement as Dana and Trish kidded about other people and Dana joked about Harlan as a father.

"You have to mark down every time he changes the baby's diaper," Trish advised. "Men have a way of exaggerating their contribution toward the care of babies."

"Right now he's understandably nervous about it," Dana said, "but he won't be able to use that excuse forever," she added, winking.

Jillian shook her head, her mouth wide open. Trish never would be able to tell from this conversation just how possessive Dana was with the baby. Was this dichotomy in her behavior deliberate or could it be that she really didn't see how she had been acting? It was a puzzle, all right, but for the present she didn't feel like rocking the boat. Things were going too well.

Audra and Colleen came down before Trish left. They visited a bit, too, and then Audra said she had to go home.

"I should too," Trish said. "Bonny Powell's baby-sitting for me, and I promised her mother it would be for just an hour or so."

"Everything all right with the baby, Mrs. Hamilton?" Audra asked before starting away.

"Oh, yes. Just a little gas," Dana said, smiling.

"Must have been high-test," Colleen quipped, and everyone laughed.

"For a moment there I thought he was reacting to me," Audra said. She shook her head, but held her smile.

"Oh, why would a baby not like you, honey?" Dana replied.

"Well, if you ever need someone to watch him for a while, I'd be glad to help," Audra said.

"Thank you, Audra. We might take you up on that, knowing how Colleen's social schedule is often so full these days."

"Uh-oh," Colleen said. "Time for me to make a quick retreat."

There was more laughter. She walked Audra to the door and said good night, after which she returned to the living room. Trish said good night and Dana went with her to the door, promising to work things out so she and Harlan could get together with Trish and Barry very soon.

"You can do it while I'm here," Jillian said. She had gotten up to help Colleen take the empty coffee cups into the kitchen and had just stepped into the hall. "That's what grandmothers are for—to be taken advantage of."

"That's right," Trish said. "Just ask Barry's mother. Maybe we can do something together this weekend, huh, Dana?"

"I'll see," Dana said. "The baby and I are going to the doctor for a checkup tomorrow."

"Well, I'm sure it all will be okay. Call you tomorrow night."

"Right," Dana said. She stood by the door after Trish left, holding it open for a second. Jillian watched her from the living-room doorway. Finally Dana closed the door. She started for the stairway.

"Why don't you come in and sit for a while, Dana? You and I have hardly had a moment's conversation."

"I was just going to look in on Nikos."

"But you only put him up there a short while ago. He's not crying."

"I'll check on him and be down," she said firmly. Jillian watched her go up and then followed Colleen into the kitchen.

"Every time I think she's coming out of it and calming down a little, she goes right back into it," Jillian said. "She's so intense about that child."

"Maybe the doctor will help tomorrow."

"I hope so, Colleen. I really do."

"Jillian," Colleen said after a moment, "do you really think it was only gas that made Nikos act that way before?"

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Well, when I brought Trish's gift up to Dana, she told me to put in the baby's room. She was nursing at the time. When I went into the room, I saw a bloodstain on the sheet in the baby's crib."

"Bloodstain! Bloodstain?"

Colleen nodded.

"Well, why didn't you say something before?"

"Well, the first time I looked at the baby," Collen said, "I thought I saw a drop of blood between its lips. Everyone got excited and there was no blood. Dana was actually angry at me, so I thought—"

"Bloodstain?" Jillian said again. "Maybe something is wrong and she's keeping it all to herself. That's why she's been acting so strange. Oh, poor thing. I'd better go up there and see about it." She started out of the kitchen.

"Jillian?"

"Yes?" Jillian said, pausing in the doorway.

Colleen just looked at her. She couldn't help it, she felt frightened; and nervous, as though she had just turned in a friend. She anticipated Dana's being angry that she had told Jillian about the stain. Colleen didn't know why she felt this way, she just did, only now she didn't know how to express it.

"Maybe she didn't want us to know, and if you say something—"

"Nonsense. How can she keep something like that to herself, anyway? Don't worry about it. You did the right thing in telling me," Jillian said, and continued on out of the kitchen.

Colleen sat down again to wait, still overcome with a sense of dread.

Jillian found Dana in the baby's room, standing by the crib. She thought it was the oddest scene. The baby wasn't asleep, yet it wasn't crying. He stared up at Dana, who stood with her palms pressed gently against her breasts, staring down at him.

A mother's infatuation with her infant wasn't remarkable; that wasn't what made the scene seem so strange to Jillian. Part of it was the intensity with which the baby looked up at Dana. His eyes were unmoving; he wasn't even blinking. He looked more like a doll, an inanimate replica. Nothing on his face moved—not his mouth, not his cheeks. His arms were at his sides, straight out, the fingers extended stiffly.

Dana was standing just as still. She didn't look amused and delighted with her baby; she looked mesmerized by him. From what Jillian could see, the expression on her face was so frozen, it looked painted on. Her eyelids didn't flutter, either, and neither baby nor mother looked as though they were breathing. It was as though if either moved, he or she would break the spell.

Jillian felt her heart begin to pound. Why this scene should be so frightening to her, she didn't know. All she knew was that something was wrong. Recalling the way Dana had reacted when she had come upon her in the baby's room earlier, Jillian stepped back and retreated a few steps into the hallway. She took a deep breath and then called. "Dana?"

Even though she knew Dana wasn't in her room, she pretended to go there first to look for her. From the doorway of her bedroom, she called again. "Dana?"

After a long moment Dana replied. "I'm with the baby, Mother."

"Oh." Jillian went back to Nikos's room. This time Dana was fixing the blanket around him in the crib, and the baby's eyes were closed.

"I was just coming down. What's wrong?" Dana said without turning to her.

"Well, that's what I wanted to find out," Jillian replied. She smiled softly and stepped farther into the room. "Is the baby all right?"

"Of course he's all right," Dana said, straightening up quickly. "I told you before. Nikos is a healthy baby, a wonderfully healthy baby." She pulled her shoulders back and pressed her lips together to signal her annoyance.

"Dana, please. Just listen to me for a moment. I know what you've gone through, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to be at your side when it all happened, but you've got to try to get a better hold on yourself."

"What are you saying? What's wrong?" Dana repeated. She looked at the baby quickly and then back at Jillian.

"I know you're nervous about the baby. It's understandable after what happened to yours, but if there's something wrong, you can't ignore it. Let me help. If we have to, we'll—"

"What are you talking about?" She stepped away from the crib so Jillian could get a full view of Nikos. "Look at him. Does he look like a sickly infant?" She held her arm out toward the crib and smirked.

Jillian hesitated for a moment, biting down gently on her lower lip. Then she took another step toward Dana.

"Is he bleeding somewhere… the circumcision, perhaps?"

"What? Bleeding? Of course not. Do you think I would simply sit around if my baby was bleeding?" she asked.

"Well, Colleen said that when she was in here earlier, she saw a bloodstain on the sheet in the crib, and I thought—"

"Bloodstain?" Dana brought her head back and then laughed, only the laugh was so shrill and so unexpected that it made Jillian take a step back and bring her hands to the bottom of her throat. She looked with amazement at the insane smile on Dana's face. "Bloodstain?" she repeated. "Obviously it's something she imagined. There's no bloodstain."

"Are you sure? Maybe you didn't see it yourself, honey."

"That's ridiculous," Dana said, this time with more anger in her face. Jillian simply stared at her for a moment. "Christ," Dana said, "I can't believe this!" She went to the crib and reached down to lift the baby.

"You don't have to—"

"Just look for yourself, Mother," Dana said sharply. The baby's eyes fluttered when she snatched him up. She did it rather roughly, Jillian thought, but he didn't cry or wake up. With her free hand Dana pulled back the blanket. "Look for yourself!" she commanded, and stepped away from the crib.

"I believe you, Dana. I only—"

"Just look, will you!"

Jillian saw the hysteria building in Dana's face. Nodding, she walked obediently to the crib and looked down at the clean white sheet. There was no stain.

"Satisfied?"

"Dana, we were only concerned about you and what you might be going through. There's no reason for you to be so resentful," Jillian said. Dana didn't reply. She put the baby back into his crib and fixed the blanket around him again.

"Do you really think I would ignore a bloodstain, Mother?" Dana asked, more softly this time. The change was so radical, it almost seemed contrived.

"I didn't think so, but it's no secret that I've been worrying about you. You're very nervous, very uptight."

"I know I am," Dana confessed. Her face started to crumble.

"Oh, baby, you know I only want to help you," Jillian said, moving to her quickly.

"I know."

They embraced. Tears came into their eyes. Jillian kissed Dana's cheek and they parted.

"I know I haven't been easy to live with," Dana said. "I know it's been hard on Harlan and Colleen and now you, but I'll get better. It just takes a little time."

"Of course. You want another cup of coffee?"