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“Why didn’t you just go?”

“I wanted to see you. I’d planned all week to come over and talk to you about being my girl.”

“This is all my fault,” I said, tears starting to fall. “You should’ve gone with him.”

“No, darlin’. It isn’t your fault.”

“But he wouldn’t have cut you if you’d just gone.”

“Nope. He cut me because I fought back. He wasn’t expecting that.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“My whole life. I’m bigger than him now though, and I actually care about someone other than myself. I’ve found something worth fighting back for.”

“And your mom lets him? Why don’t you live with her?”

“My mom isn’t around. I haven’t seen her since I was about four years old. Don’t have a clue who she is, where she is, or if she’s even still alive.”

“Jesus, Jet… I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything. I don’t need a therapy session. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Okay,” I said, maneuvering myself so that I could face him. Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his silky, black hair like I’d wanted to do at least a hundred times before. “Is there anything I can do?”

“You’ve done more than enough. I just feel like sleeping. I should go before your parents come home and catch us in your room alone.”

“You don’t have to.”

“They’ll never believe we didn’t have sex if they find me here.”

“They’re gone until Sunday. Just lie down and get some rest, okay? Unless you really want to go.”

“I don’t,” he said as I moved off the bed. “But I don’t want you to go… Lay with me.”

* * *

The dream was almost too real, and I could almost feel the way his arms held me close as we drifted off to sleep. Eyes fluttering open, I wiped at my wet cheeks. It still broke my heart to think of the way his father abused him. That wasn’t the only time he opened up to me, but it was one of the memories that stuck with me the most. At some point over the years, I blocked out some of the more brutal things that had been done to him. Being cut was just the tip of the iceberg.

My face scrunched up into my ugly-cry face. It’d only been an hour since I got back to my hotel room, but I knew then if he knocked, I’d open the door for him, hoping to find that boy I’d fallen head over heels for.

Too bad the image of Jerney on the back of his bike slammed into my head just before the knock came at my door.

CHAPTER 15 – JET

When I realized I didn’t know her room number, I pulled my phone out to see if she’d texted or left me a message.

Room 206.

It was late, and the back door I’d dropped her off at earlier was locked, which forced me back to the front of the hotel. My heart pounded as I walked through the main doors and down the hallway to an elevator that would take me to her floor. A few seconds later, the door opened and I stepped in. During the short ride, several thoughts muddled my mind, but all of them led me back to it being best for Evie if I ended things for good. Properly this time. She deserved an explanation. She deserved to know the real reason I left her all those years before. Just how much I was willing to tell her was something I’d have to gauge during our conversation, but she needed to know what kind of person I turned out to be and why I was no good for her.

If I told her too much, she could end up in real danger from simply knowing more than she should. If I didn’t tell her enough, she’d never understand just how much I loved her—just how much I still loved her—and why I couldn’t be with her, if she even still wanted that from me. Maybe she really did just want to fuck me and be done with it, but the way she looked at me told me otherwise. I knew if we spent even one lust-filled night wrapped up in each other, we’d never part ways.

I only had to walk a short distance from the elevator before I found her room. Stopping, I took a deep breath and held it for a second before exhaling. I never found myself nervous when I had to face some dirt bag for my father, but I couldn’t steady my hands this time. Couldn’t control my breathing.

Get it together, Jet.

A quick minute later, I’d calmed myself enough and knocked lightly on the door.

After the third time I knocked, I realized she wasn’t going to open the door for me. I’d let her down. Again. Maybe it was for the best to walk away without any more words shared between us.

I knocked one last time and said, “Evie, please let me in.” I wasn’t sure if I said it loud enough for her to hear. It came out more of a whisper than I’d intended.

The door clicked and opened just enough for me to see her puffy eyes. She’d been crying, for sure. Her lips even looked fuller than normal.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting,” I said. I lifted my hand to her face, but she turned away.

“What? Did your other date take longer than you thought? Christ, I can still smell her on you.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Can I come in?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she said.

“Please?”

She sighed and opened the door wider.

I stepped in and looked down at her. She was in a white bathrobe and her hair hung loosely around her puffy face. Thin lines of black streaked her cheeks. She looked away from me as I passed by her.

“May I sit down?”

“I don’t give a shit if you sit down, lie down, or do a handstand.”

I chuckled at the visual. “Really? That’s a little dramatic, isn’t it?” I asked. “What’s wrong? What happened since I left you?”

“You tell me… Did you and
Jerney
have a good time?”

“Jerney?”
How the fuck does she know about Jerney?
“What do you think happened?”

“Well, let’s see. I was practically giddy at the thought of spending the night with you. You left to get me a drink, which, by the way, I’m still waiting on.
Jerney
comes over, stakes her claim on you. Something comes up, and you have to leave. Next thing I know, I see you and Miss Thang ripping down the road on your bike. Now you reek of her. I guess I know what it was that ‘came up’.”

“You have no idea what happened. It isn’t what you think it is.”

“But you have fucked her before, correct?”

Bile rose in my throat thinking about it, but yes, I had, and there was no use in lying about it now.

“You know what? I don’t care. It’s not even any of my business.”

“I did. Once. And it’s something I wish never happened, but that’s not what happened tonight. I promise you that.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s the truth, Evie. You have to trust me.”

“I don’t
have
to do anything, and that includes trusting you. What makes you think I would anyway?” she asked, crossing her arms. “The last time I trusted you, I ended up alone, confused, and hurt.” Her index finger shot forward, and if I’d have been closer, she probably would’ve jabbed me right in the chest. “You fooled me into believing I meant something to you when I really meant nothing at all.”

“You never meant
nothing
to me. It’s complicated.”

“Isn’t it always?”

“If I told you everything I wanted to tell you, you either wouldn’t believe me or you’d be so appalled by me that you’d want to get as far away from me as you possibly could.”

“So it ends badly either way.”

“Yeah… I don’t want to hurt you again. That’s why I came here to tell you goodbye. I’m not good for you.”

“Fuck you,” she exclaimed. “Just go.”

“I didn’t want to leave you hanging like last time. That must have crushed you.”

“Just fucking go. I don’t need your pity goodbye, and I can’t stand to be near you right now. Couldn’t you have at least washed the dirt from that skank off you before you came here?”

Yanking my shirt off, I threw it on the floor. “I didn’t fuck her tonight,” I said, my voice raising as I did, and grabbed her upper arms, pulling her closer to me. “Do you smell her on me now?”

She turned her face away and started to cry.  

“I fucking love
you
, Evie,” I said, taking her face in my hands. It came out before I had a chance to stop it, but it was the truth. I had always loved her. That would never change. I’d love her until the day I died.

“You don’t love me. You don’t even know me anymore.” Placing her hands on my chest, she hesitated for a second before pushing me away.

“You’re still the girl I fell in love with back in high school. I see it in the way you look at me. Hear it in your voice. I sense it when I touch you. I know it in my heart.”

“Yeah, and you aren’t the boy
I
fell in love with. I know
that
in my heart.”

“You’re right about that. I was never good enough for you, but at least back then I had a chance at being what you deserved.”

“I loved you beyond belief. When you told me the things you did about your father and how awful he was to you and the things you endured because of him, I wanted to save you from it all,” she said.

“I know you did, baby,” I whispered. It felt good to call her that. I hadn’t called anyone
baby
since the last time I’d seen her.
Darlin’
I reserved for a special few people over the years, but baby was meant only for her.

“But I couldn’t. I felt so helpless… I even thought to myself so many times that maybe if I just told my parents about you and the abuse you lived through, they could do something to help, but when I finally got the courage to do it, you were gone, and you want to know the worst of it?” she asked. A tear slid down her cheek and dripped onto her robe. I wanted to kiss her tears away, but it would only make things worse for both of us. “When you disappeared, I thought he killed you.” She began to sob softly to herself. Her hands rose to her eyes to shield her face. “And it killed me,” she whispered.

I stepped closer to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close once again. She melted into my chest, right where she belonged, but it was short-lived. She pushed me away a beat later.

“I know you aren’t dead this time, and I know you’ve got your choice of women to bang, so just go. Get out of here and leave me alone, Jet Flanagan. I never want to see you again.”

“I’m not leaving. Not until you understand what happened tonight.”

“I don’t
care
what happened tonight,” she said through her teeth. “I wish you’d never stopped to help me today. It was a mistake to let it go this far. And to think, I was going to sleep with a taken man.”

“Taken? I’m not fucking taken, Evie… And what about you? Who was that you told you loved earlier today on the phone? Did you think I didn’t hear that? I have to wonder if
you’re
the one who’s taken, and this is all just an easy out for you.”

“Jesus Christ,” she said, throwing her hands into the air and letting them drop at her sides. “You came here to shit on whatever we could’ve built together, but you’re accusing
me
of looking for an out?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, and said, “You’re making my head hurt.” She dropped her hand. Her eyes focused on mine. “It was my dog if you must know.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t give a shit what you believe. It’s the truth. I have no reason to lie about it.”

“You seriously called your dog to tell it how you felt about it?”

“Yes, asshole. I love my dog. She’s everything to me, and when I’m away, I use this app on my phone that allows me to talk to her through a speaker that sits near her bed. Maybe it’s ridiculous to you, but it isn’t to me.”

“Do you have a cat you like to chat with, too?” I asked, trying to stifle a laugh as I crossed my arms.

“I do have a cat, but he’s much too preoccupied with his own life to care about listening to my voice.”

“See?”

“What?”

“You
are
the same girl I knew all those years ago. Always doing your best to show love to lesser creatures, myself included. You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Oh, but I have changed. Not as trusting as I used to be. That’s what happens when people you care about throw you away.”

“I didn’t throw you away.”

“What do you call it then?”

I turned my back to her, rage swelling in my gut. Not rage at her, but rage for the whole goddamn situation. The lies I had to tell to keep her safe. The life I had to live without her in it. The father I’d been stuck with. The mother who had abandoned me. The baby sister I had to protect at all cost. The life I could’ve had taunting me while the one I’d always known went to battle to make sure I could never escape.

I turned to her, staring her down. Trying my best to hold it together, I could feel myself bursting at the seams. The words began to flow like an erupting volcano.

“I call it protecting you,” I exclaimed.

She sat down on the bed, never taking her eyes away from me. Swallowing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself, gripping her sides. “Protecting me from what?”

“From
him
.”

“Your father?” she asked. Confusion etched over her face.

“He would’ve hurt you.”

“But I never met him. Why would he threaten me?”

“To hurt me. To control me. To have leverage over me and to make me do the things he wanted me to do.”

She brought her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened. “He wouldn’t do something to some girl he’d never even met.”

“He would. Trust me, he would. He told me as much, and if there’s anything I know about my father, it’s that he doesn’t make false promises.”

“But why? What did he want from you that he’d use me as leverage?”

I shook my head and sat down in the chair by the window. The conversation that’d played through my head a million times played again.

“You’re going to goddamn do what I tell you, son,” he spat.

“I don’t want to fight.”

“You fight all the fucking time. Might as well put it to good use. I’ve got a warehouse up north I just acquired from someone who owed me big. Gonna convert it into a place to hold these fights so everyone knows what happens when you fuck with Niall Flanagan. We’re going to build you up to be something feared, too, just like your old man. It’s going to be huge, son, and I need you there. You’re going to build a reputation and make me a shit-ton of money while you’re at it, you hear?”