Blush (22 page)

Maddy was studying the shelf, which carried a vase that, unless Alex was unusually wrong, was a knockoff Ming vase. It also held a photo in an ornate, gaudy rhinestone frame.

Maddy gestured to it before allowing herself to be pulled back into the crowd.

“Is that Massimo’s wife? She’s too pretty for him.” Though he wanted to get Maddy out of there, something about the photo, a posed glamour shot, caught his eye.

The woman in the picture was a beautiful blonde, though a slightly hard edge painted her features. It had been years, but the woman’s face tugged at something in Alex’s memory.

“Fuck.” He didn’t realize he’d stopped, but he understood in one big rush why Santorini had always been so aggressive toward him—why the other man had approached him in the first place, why he whined whenever Alex cut down the ridiculous asking price.

Years earlier, Alex had met the woman in the photo, Alessandria. She’d been a member of In Vino Veritas, one who had briefly caught Alex’s eye. They’d had a short affair, in which she’d never wanted more than sex. Alex had respected her wishes and hadn’t gone digging into her past, since she hadn’t made moves for anything beyond what they shared in the club.

“Alex?”

Beside him, Alex felt Maddy tense. He felt out of control, off balance, having had this thrust upon him. Why hadn’t he known about it?

“We’re leaving.” Urging her ahead of them, Alex held his breath until they were outside the house.

Alessandria had had scars on her body, ones that she wouldn’t tell him the cause of. He understood now that she was tied to Santorini. She must have been his wife, or his longtime girlfriend. He was likely responsible for those scars, and Alex hadn’t done anything about it.

He waited until the valet brought the Turbo back up to the house. Then he crowded Maddy against the passenger’s-side door, boxing her in with his arms.

She looked up at him, eyes wary, as if she’d picked up on his agitation.

“The scars on your legs, Maddy. The picture in your locket. What are you keeping from me?” He wanted to punch the car with frustration when her eyes shuttered and her lips pinched together.

“I’m not going to talk about that.” Not
I don’t want to
but
I’m not going to
.

“Maddy, I’ll give you one more chance to answer my question. Tell me what you’re keeping from me.”

Alex fisted his hand in her hair and tugged, exposing her throat. He ran a finger down the length of the chain of her locket. She shivered, trying to hold still, before flinching away, her hand flying to cover the pendant protectively.

“I see.” His voice was dark.

To his surprise, instead of opening to him, Maddy’s eyes sparkled with tears, but it was the outrage in her voice that jolted him.

“What about you? You have secrets, too, like why I couldn’t go upstairs with you the other day. And just now, what was that? You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

This time it was Alex who glowered in the face of the pointed questioning, not accustomed to being questioned or having to account for his actions.

It was a strange sensation, one he wasn’t entirely certain he was comfortable with.

“You expect my life to be an open book, but it goes two ways. Trust, Alex. Remember preaching that?” A flush of anger rose in Maddy’s cheeks, and Alex slowly backed away, knowing better than to try to touch her in that moment.

He had nothing that he could say. His biggest secret wasn’t one he was willing to share with anyone. For her safety, he couldn’t.

“Well, then.” His heart gave a strange thud, and he frowned at the physical pain.

“I guess there’s nothing more for us to say.”

M
addy was an emotional wreck by the time she arrived home. It felt like days had passed since facing off against Alex outside of Massimo’s house.

She’d tried to take a cab home, but though he’d just ended their relationship, Alex had threatened to handcuff her to a pole if she didn’t voluntarily wait for Declan to come get her.

She hadn’t had the energy to argue. Now she stood in the front entry of her apartment, looking down at her fancy clothes, wondering how in the hell the evening had gone so wrong.

Something had set Alex off—but what? Had she done something? Said something wrong?

She’d started the day as happy as she’d been in a long time. Now she was far worse off than she’d been before.

Drawing in a great ragged breath, Maddy wished she’d saved some of the wine that Alex had sent her weeks earlier. She needed some. And that wasn’t all that she longed for a taste of. Alex had opened up new worlds to her.

From inside her tiny evening bag—the one Alex had chosen for her—came the ring of her cell phone.

She thought it might be Alex. Suddenly furious, she tore into the bag, ready to answer the phone, to scream and yell.

Instead she froze.

Impossible as it was, her night had just gotten worse.

She wasn’t in any frame of mind to answer the phone, but as always, her guilt wouldn’t let her ignore it.

“Hi, Nate.” She suppressed tears that came at the sound of the familiar voice on the other end. God, but she could use someone to lean on. For so long, she’d forced herself to go it alone.

“Maddy!” Her heart sank when she heard the slight slur in his words. “S’ good to hear your voice, honey.”

Maddy forced her own tears back. Next to what Nathan had gone through, her problems were trivial. “How are you doing, Nate?” If he’d had a few too many beers, then she knew he wasn’t doing well. Nathan drank only to combat the blues.

“Little lonely tonight, Maddy. You know?” Oh, did she ever. “I’ll think I’m moving on, think I’m doing okay; then out of nowhere it hurts all over again.”

Maddy winced and let Nathan go on a bit about Erin, about her smile and her laughter. It actually felt good, for a moment, to talk about the things that they both missed about her sister—to share the pain.

But when she managed to end the conversation and hang up, the guilt rolled in like a fog that never quite lifted. It chilled her from her bones out, making her fingers numb, prickling her skin with gooseflesh.

On top of the debacle with Alex that evening, it was too much.

She needed to alleviate some of her guilt, which was building up inside of her like carbonation in a bottle. She needed a release.

Punishment.

She thought of In Vino Veritas and of the things she’d seen there. Could she go without Alex?

The idea terrified her; still, she was angry enough to do it. Narrowing her eyes as the idea took root, Maddy lifted her fingers to her locket.

Her secret wasn’t even a
secret
so much as it was something she simply didn’t want to revisit ever again. Alex, however—whatever he wasn’t telling her affected him in the here and now. Affected her.

She could understand his frustration. But if nothing else, he had taught her to stop overanalyzing everything she did.

She wanted to go to In Vino Veritas. That was exactly what she was going to do.

•   •   •

J
ulien whistled as Maddy stopped her car at the front of Alex’s club and stepped out.

“Damn, girl.” His blatant approval lifted Maddy’s spirits an inch, though that meant they still were close to rock bottom. He gestured to her car, then held out his palm for her keys. “Alex meeting you here?”

Nervously, Maddy tugged at the hem of her ridiculously short black skirt. She didn’t possess anything that would even closely resemble fetish wear, so she’d gone for a sexy secretary look instead, as best as she could manage with the meager contents of her closet. Short black skirt, plain white blouse. The daring came from the seamed black stockings, the high heels, and the fact that she’d left a few buttons on the blouse open.

Any one of those items would have felt daring for Maddy in a normal circumstance. Altogether, they made her feel like she had when she’d worn the bustier and skirt that Alex had chosen for her.

She felt like a different person entirely. That was good, because regular Maddy wanted nothing more than to lock herself in a closet and cry over her breakup.

This Maddy had something else entirely in mind.

“Alex and I aren’t together anymore.” Though the dominance that Julien exuded, so similar to Alex’s own mannerisms, made Maddy want to keep her eyes down, she looked defiantly up as she spoke.

He whistled again, then took her keys from her hand, his fingers lingering to dance over her palm.

“Is that the truth?” Tossing the keys high in the air, he caught them behind his back, making her smile. Then he tucked a finger in the neck of her blouse, tugged her close, and ran his finger over her collarbone. Maddy stiffened, and though his touch didn’t light her on fire the way Alex’s did, she still responded to his dominance and found that she liked the feel of his fingers on her skin.

“If that’s still the case in a few hours, when it’s time for me to play, I’ll come find you.” Gesturing toward the steps that led to the building, Julien released Maddy with a devastating grin and a swat on the behind, which made her jump.

“Inside, sub. I have work to do.”

Maddy frowned and stomped down on the urge to rub her behind. That hadn’t been a gentle pat, but more of a hard spank.

Suddenly she found herself second-guessing her decision to enter the club. Without Alex at her side, her old reservations came back, and she felt exposed, naked, vulnerable. And she really didn’t know the first thing about protocol at the club.

Were all the Dom/mes this . . . handsy?

If she walked in there, was it like dropping a lamb into a cage full of lions?

Slowly, Maddy pushed on the heavy wooden door of the building. The interior was exactly as she’d remembered it—dark, Gothic, and sexy as hell. The music of Metallica seeped out of surreptitiously placed speakers in the entryway, and the angry notes appealed to her and the mood she was in.

“Miss Stone.” Startled, Maddy looked up to find Elijah, the golden god of a man Alex had introduced her to, looking down at her with concern. Dressed in a pale pink dress shirt opened at the collar, with expensive-looking black dress pants hanging from his hips, he was sexy as hell, yet seeing him still didn’t give her the same jolt that seeing Alex did.

She felt almost guilty, as if she’d been caught someplace she shouldn’t be.

She was allowed to be here. At least, she was pretty sure she was. His quick appearance, however, told her that Julien had likely contacted him to let him know of her arrival. She tried to hold her head up high as she greeted him with a hello.

She waited for the lecture, since the attention she was receiving was clearly because of Alex. But she wasn’t his property—after this disastrous night, she wasn’t even his submissive.

“Are you sure you want to be here?” Those blue eyes studied her intently. It was all he asked.

“Yes.” Maddy spoke before she could lose her nerve. “Yes, I . . . I want . . .” Her voice trailed off.

It was so hard to say out loud what she wanted.

“What do you want, little one?” Elijah’s bearing was so similar to Alex’s, Maddy trusted him on a gut level.

“I want punishment.” Her voice was scarcely more than a whisper. She trembled as she spoke, but swallowed down her nerves. “I want to be here.”

“I see.” Elijah looked her up and down in much the same manner as Julien had. His stare came to rest on her face, his expression contemplative. “And why do you feel you need to be punished?”

“I’m not going to talk about that.” Maddy’s words left her mouth in a heated, angry rush. “I won’t. I just . . . I need a release.”

Elijah pressed his lips tightly together, considering. “You’ll do this with me, then.”

Maddy wasn’t sure about the idea of partnering with one of Alex’s business associates. Surely a stranger would be better.

She opened her mouth to argue, and he seemed to grow larger, more dominant.

“I don’t recall asking for your permission, little sub.” Reaching into his pocket, he drew out a pair of fleece-lined leather cuffs, similar to the ones she’d worn the other night, though these lacked the tint of virgin white. “Hold out your wrists.”

He may not have made her heart race, but Maddy still found herself responding to his commands. She held out her wrists and soon was buckled into the leather bracelets. Like the first pair, these weren’t linked, but had fastenings that could be connected to all kinds of bonds.

“Remain still.” As if she were no more than a piece of artwork, Elijah pulled his iPhone from his pocket and, his movements leisurely, sent a series of texts.

Maddy found herself twitching with impatience.

“Do you have someplace you need to be, sub?” Finished with his texts, Elijah slid his phone back into his pocket and, looking up, raised an eyebrow at Maddy. “I was under the impression you were here to be punished.”

Maddy’s heart gave a great thud, and she felt tears prickle at the backs of her eyes. Yes, she wanted to be here, but she wanted to be here with Alex.

Not an option anymore, Maddy
. Steeling herself, Maddy raised her chin, though she made certain to keep her eyes on the floor. “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir. Please punish me, Sir.”

Though her eyes were on the ground, she felt Elijah studying her. Then she felt a tug on one of her cuffs.

“Follow me. Stay behind me. Do not look up.”

Maddy swallowed against her suddenly dry throat as she followed Elijah down the hallway. She could tell when they passed through the entrance to the club, because the lights dimmed, the music became louder, and the sounds of pleasure and pain filled the air.

“We’ll stop right here.” Elijah left her side for a moment, and Maddy felt a twinge of panic, though she assumed that a friend of Alex’s would keep her safe. Still, she didn’t trust this man on a gut-deep level the way she did Alex.

God, she wanted Alex.

Get over it
. He’d made it clear—she couldn’t have him, not unless she told him her secret.

Still, he’d awakened a need deep inside of her, and this was the best way she knew to fill it.

“Come.” When Elijah returned, he carried a leather bag similar to the one Alex had had the night he’d used the oils on Maddy. Despite her upset, she found her curiosity was piqued.

Did all Dominants have a bag like this, a bag full of toys?

Maddy followed Elijah across the floor of the club. He stopped next to something that looked like a wooden sawhorse, though it was padded with leather the color of wine.

Each leg had a thick metal loop with a length of chain. Two of the chains ended in more cuffs, ones slightly larger than the ones on Maddy’s wrists.

She felt her pulse kick into overdrive as she looked down at the cuffs on her wrists and realized what the chains were for.

“Unfasten your blouse.”

Startled, Maddy looked up at Elijah. Surely he didn’t think . . .
Well, what the hell else did you expect, Maddy?
From what she’d read, a BDSM scene didn’t always include sex, but it wouldn’t be a strange assumption for Elijah to make.

“What’s your safe word, sub?”

When Maddy failed to unfasten her blouse as quickly as he wanted it, Elijah stepped forward, unfastened the buttons with nimble fingers, and peeled the fabric over her shoulders. He tossed it to the side and then reached for the zipper of her skirt.

Soon she wore nothing but her black bra, thong, pantyhose, and heels.

“Very nice.” He nudged her to one end of the bench-type contraption. “Safe word. Now.”

“Blackjack.” Maddy almost used the word for its intended purpose when Elijah ran his hands over her ass and down her calves.

He made her repeat the club safe word as well. As she stood, nerves making her tremble, the man knelt behind her, his long fingers closing around one ankle.

“I’m cuffing your ankles to the bench now, Miss Stone.” Maddy’s entire body tensed as she heard the cuffs snick. Elijah ran a finger between the metal and her skin, checking, she thought, to make sure the bonds weren’t too tight.

“Breathe.” Huffing in and out, he demonstrated what he wanted her to do. Standing, walking around to the front of the bench, Elijah fastened his intense blue stare on her. Maddy found she had no choice but to do as he said, her breath slowing and deepening until her body relaxed.

“Good girl.” Maddy gasped when Elijah slid his hands into her bra, cupping her breasts and strumming his thumbs over her nipples. Still caught in his stare, she felt confusion flood throughout her as her nipples bunched beneath his touch and wetness slicked between her legs.

She responded to his dominance, and her body enjoyed his touch. But otherwise he left her cold.

She missed the connection that she had with Alex.

Elijah’s cell phone chimed the note of an incoming text, and Maddy felt infuriated when he slipped his hands from her bra to answer it.

“Seriously?” She sputtered out the word, incensed that he would leave her half-naked, bound body to check his text messages right in front of her. “You’re a bastard.”

The glare he gave her made her tremble, but she couldn’t hide her scowl.

“I may not be the Dom you want, Miss Stone, but that kind of behavior is not acceptable in this club.” Tucking his cell phone into his pocket, he leaned forward, his lips brushing her ear with heat. “Especially not when I have what you need.”

Dom or not, Maddy was about to tell him that he wasn’t what she needed at all. But then he stepped out of her line of view, and she saw what he had been referring to.

Alex. Alex was here.