Blush (27 page)

“Something unpleasant
is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.“

—BENJAMIN DISRAELI

I WAKE SLOWLY, listening to the voices mumble about
babies—triplets!

“
Aunt Lily! You didn't tell me it was
triplets!“

I swear I hear her laugh.

I'd flip her off but she'd find a way to tell my
mama.

“
Well, babies, it's a good thing we've got as many
people around as we do to help out because I have a feeling you
three are going to give me and your daddy a run for our money,“ I
murmur aloud, patting my tummy. Oh boy. Jesse as a daddy. I'm going
to be a mother. Whoa.

I sit up, feeling much better. I'm not one hundred
percent but I think I'm ready to get back to the land of the
living. It's gloomy in here. There should be sunshine and flowers.
Tulips and daffodils, daisies. Green grass and birds singing. I
snort to myself. It's not a Disney movie, but there could at least
be some brightness in here. Then again, if it was that inviting,
likely, people wouldn't want to leave.

I start walking toward the red glow in the sky and
the voices start getting louder.

“
Grandpa Giovanni?“ Oh boy. That can't be
good.

“
I don't want to know but I gotta,“ I hear Jesse
ask. It's always bad when a conversation starts like that.

“
Are you in love with her?“ Jesse asks someone. Oh
no. No, no, no.

“
No, but I could be. Fuck it up and I'll step up,“
Xander responds.

Unh.

“
You won't get the chance. She's my forever.“
Jesse.

“
I know, man, and so does she. She's my best
friend, though, dude. That's not changing. We cool?“
Xander.

“
Yeah, we're cool.“ Jesse. Well at least he
doesn't sound pissed off at Xander. I certainly hope things don't
get awkward. I'd hate that. What I'd hate more is that I'd be the
cause.

I'm almost there and I feel like I'm connecting with
my body, getting stronger.

“
Come on, Lucy. Shake your ass and get back
here.“

“
Somehow I don't think shaking my ass will get me
back there, Jace,“ I murmur aloud. Great. Now I'm talking to
myself. I'm not liking the red of this glow. It's eerie and creepy,
almost like it's pulsing or something. But I keep going until I'm
standing directly underneath it.

I look up and it's a heart. No, not the
gross-looking kind from inside our bodies but one like you'd draw
on your notebook in high school—like I drew on my notebook in high
school with Jesse's name inside.

“
Luce my goose, step into the light,“ I hear
Xander say and I sigh.

I feel a pull and I close my eyes. I see myself in a
hospital bed, the room full of… everyone. I try to open my eyes and
holy shit that hurts!

I moan and move my fingers when I feel both Jesse
and Xander squeeze my hands.

“There you go, Cupcake. Let me see those
gorgeous brown eyes.“

“Jesse,“ I whisper. Oh man, it hurts to talk.
My throat feels like I swallowed a bucket of sawdust and my head
feels as if those weird Riverdance people with their flailing legs
are practicing on my brain.

I squint one eye open and there's my
husband.

“Hey, baby,“ he murmurs softly and I groan. I
hurt. I hurt badly.

“H—“ I try to talk but my throat is way too
dry.

“Here,“ Xander says and I crack the other eye
open. He's holding up a cup with a straw. He fits it to my lips and
I take a sip. Oh, heaven. I take another sip. Then another.

“Mmm,“ I moan out my pleasure.

“How're you feeling, babe?“ Jesse asks.

“I've been better. Hurts. It hurts so
bad.“

“I think you're due for more medicine soon,“
Sera says and I cringe.

“Soft, please. My head.“

“Sorry,“ she whispers.

“Lights. Too bright.“

“Is there a fucking dimmer in here?“ I hear
Kennedy whisper-curse and I snort.

“And she's back,“ Xander announces.

“You know, Xan my man,“ I begin, “I tried
going toward the light but I was told it was the wrong way.
Apparently going toward the light equates to death or Heaven or the
afterlife or whatever comes next.“

“Fuck. Don't go to the light. Ever,“ Xander
tells me, pushing the straw back into my mouth when I lick my
lips.

“What happened?“ I ask, looking at Jesse.

He sits on the bed next to me and tenderly
brushes my hair off my forehead. I try not to wince but fail.

“Sorry, baby.“

“S'okay.“ I'm about to ask again what
happened when a doctor enters the room. He looks commanding and
authoritative and really intimidating. Grandpa must have hired
him.

“Mrs. Kingston. It's nice to finally meet
you,“ he tells me, shining a light in my eyes. I wince and
moan.

“Sorry, I know you're sensitive right now and
that's the worst of it, I promise,“ he tells me.

“A little warning next time, huh, doc?“ I
whisper.

“Follow my finger, please,“ he tells me but
doesn't respond to my request. Dick. I follow his finger but shit,
that hurts.

“Is it normal that even moving my eyes
hurts?“

“In your case? Yes. You've had quite a bit of
trauma to that magnificent brain of yours so any exertion at all is
going to be painful. I'm sorry about that. We'll give you some more
pain medication after my exam, but we're restricted on that as
well,“ he mentions, looking at me.

I nod. “Triplets.“ I look at Jesse. “Holy
shit, Jesse.“

He laughs.

“So, they told you already?“ the doctor
asks.

“No. I heard you all talking sometimes.“

The doctor nods. “That's good. It means you
weren't in a deep coma. We've been concerned as you've had three
seizures since you were brought in.“

“Oh boy. Did I pee myself?“ I ask.

Xander busts out laughing and I wince. “I'm
sorry, Luce, but,“ he shakes his head, “that's what you're worried
about?“

“Well, that's humiliating. Just ask Jace,“ I
murmur and his gaze meets mine.

“What'd I ever do to you, Lucy? Huh?“ Jace
asks.

“Now you've got to tell us,“ Xander prods as
the doctor keeps moving along with the exam. Lifting my leg. Making
me wiggle my toes.

“Jace peed the bed until the third grade,“
Sera blurts out.

I laugh and groan. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.“ Nausea
rolls through me. “I'm going to throw up,“ I announce and Jesse
puts the basin under my mouth just in time to catch what little
I've got in my stomach. Then I dry heave and, oh my God, my head.
It hurts so bad I start crying.

“God damn it, doc,“ Jesse bellows. “Give her
something for the pain.“

“Mr. Kingston—“

“Now, Dr. Felton,“ my grandpa commands from
the doorway and the good doctor shuts the fuck up.

“Right away. I'll be right back.“

“Gampy,“ I sniffle.

“Ah, mia bambina.“ He leans in and holds me
loosely then kisses my forehead.

“Luciana, you didn't pee yourself,“ mama
begins as she squeezes my leg. “You have a catheter in.“

I look at her in horror. “Gah.“

“Better than peeing yourself, no?“ Grandpa
asks.

I look at Jace who flips me off.

“I didn't tell,“ I respond to the
gesture.

“She wouldn't have if you hadn't brought it
up.“

“Maybe. And yes, Gampy, it's better than
peeing myself.“

Xander snickers and Jace tells him to fuck
off.

“Your pain medication has arrived,“ a nurse
in Hello Kitty scrubs announces as she injects something into my
IV. “We're going to play it safe and keep you off oral medications
until your tummy's a little more stable.“

“Good plan,“ I tell her, lifting Jesse's hand
to my lips for a kiss, gazing into his chocolate orbs. I pull our
joined hands to my chest.

“Baby,“ he whispers, his voice breaking, as
he leans forward and presses a soft, lingering kiss to my lips. He
runs his nose along my cheek over to my ear where he whispers, “I
love you so much. I won't survive without you.“

His cheek rests lightly against mine.

“You won't have to,“ I whisper back. “I'll be
okay.“

He nods and I feel him take a shuddering
breath. He squeezes our joined hands lightly.

“This won't happen again,“ Grandpa says.

“What even happened?“ I ask again.

“You don't remember?“ Jesse asks.

“No. Nothing.“

His brow furrows.

“You had gone back to the bus to shower after
the concert,“ Grandpa begins. “You were with Mike. He and Gio were
outside waiting for you. Misty was inside and said you were sick,
so she helped you with the shower and clothing.“

I look to Misty who nods.

“Thank you,“ I whisper.

She nods and smiles a small smile.

“She gave you some ginger ale in a glass,
trying to disguise it as alcohol so no one would know you were
pregnant. When you and Mike made your way across the parking lot to
the doors, someone shouted something from behind the barricades and
you stopped to look back. Someone threw something at you and hit
your head. You collapsed and lost consciousness,“ Grandpa finishes.
I can tell he's holding back anger as well as information.

I shake my head slightly. “I don't remember.
I mean, I remember the shower and vomiting. I remember stepping out
and greeting Gio and Mike walking with me…“ I trail off, a memory
nagging at the back of my mind but I can't quite grasp it. Somehow
I know it's important. I just know.

I wince and close my eyes.

“Don't push, Lucy,“ Jesse tells me.

I sigh. “I need to remember. It's
important.“

“Why?“ he asks.

“I'm pretty sure I saw something, I just
can't quite grasp the image.“

Grandpa looks at me. “You just rest. We're
taking care of things. Plans are in motion.“

“You know who it was,“ I say to him.

“We do,“ he answers, his expression grim and
severely pissed off.

“Who?“ I ask and notice Cage and Damian
coming into the room.

“Well, lookie who's awake,“ Damian teases.
“Baby doll we've been worried about you.“

“I'll be alright.“

“You and the triplets,“ he says with a
grin.

“Ha, isn't that crazy?“ I ask no one in
particular.

“Want to know what's crazy?“ Xander asks.

“Yeah, I do.“

“Damian is a Russo enforcer dude.“

“Shut the front door!“ I exclaim. The pain
medicine must be working because it doesn't hurt as badly.

I look to Damian who gives me one short
nod.

“Grandpa?“ I ask.

My gampy winks. “He's your protector. Yours
and Serafina's. As is Cage.“

“Wait a minute.“ An uneasy thought comes
through. What if we've only gotten these video shoots and this tour
and recording contract because of my grandpa?

“Back up the fucking truck,“ I murmur.

“What's wrong?“ Jesse asks when he notes my
frown.

I look to Sera who can't meet my gaze. “You
knew,“ I accuse.

She looks to me now and nods. “There were
threats against the family, specifically me.“

“How long?“ I ask.

No one answers.

“For how long!“ I shout, then wince and fight
against the waves of nausea.

“Calm down, baby,“ Jesse whispers.

“You don't understand, Jesse.“

“What don't I understand?“

I look to Cage who's watching me with that
deadpan expression that I never could read. “Did you hire us
because we were good or did you hire us because you're my grandpa's
second in command?“ I bite out.

“How'd you know I was second in command?“
Cage asks.

I roll my eyes. “I grew up in this
Famiglia
. I know the only one allowed to call the boss by
his rightful name is his right-hand man.“

Cage nods.

I take a breath. “How much is real and how
much is fake?“

“Lucy—“ Grandpa begins.

“Don't you 'Lucy' me,“ I yell at my grandpa,
not caring about disrespecting him. He disrespected me by doing all
this behind my back.

“How much!“ I yell at Cage.

“It was all real, Lucy. Above it all I'm a
businessman. Do you think I'd hire you if I didn't believe in your
talent?“ he asks, still masking his expression.

“You know, I have no fucking clue.“

“Language, Luciana,“ mama scolds.

“To hell with the language,“ I snarl. Shit.
Is that Jesse's sister? I smile and I'm sure I look like a deformed
clown. “Janalee?“ I ask by way of greeting.

She nods. “Nice to meet you.“

I let out a laugh. “Likewise. Would have been
better under less insane circumstances.“

Janalee snorts. “Wait until you meet my
family.“ Ben scoffs and Jesse nods.

I look to my grandpa. “Did you set up
everything in my career, Grandpa?“

He just looks at me. “You think I would do
that to you?“

“I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.
You hid this from me. You all did,“ I say, looking at my parents
who both look guilty as hell. “Why didn't you just tell me?“

“You didn't need to know,“ Damian
replies.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what I need
and don't need to know about my god damn life!“

“Baby, please, calm down,“ Jesse asks. “Your
blood pressure is spiking and you don't need to have another
seizure. Please. I just got you back.“

I take a deep calming breath, closing my
eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. I open my eyes and meet Jesse's
gaze. “I'm sorry, love. I am. I'm so angry right now. So confused
and frustrated.“

He nods and kisses me softly, resting his
cheek against mine again.

“Make them leave,“ I whisper.

“Everyone?“ he asks.

“No, just them.“ He knows who I mean. I look
straight at his chest when he sits upright, not meeting anyone
else's gaze as I hear them shuffle out of the room. I look up for a
second and meet Sera's gaze. “You too.“