Blyssfully Undone: The Blyss Trilogy - book 3 (34 page)

I have nothing to say. He keeps coming back at me with valid answers for everything. He lets go of my cheeks and lays his body over mine, resting his elbows on either side of me. He nuzzles into the side of my neck, and kisses me there slow and tender. Shivers race through my body. Damn him for always being able to manipulate me with a simple touch, a sweet kiss, or a seductive look. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m still drugged. His anger is dispelled, his touch soft and gentle as his lips move to my ear, whispering, “From the moment I first laid eyes on you…when I took care of you that first night…I felt something I hadn’t felt in years. I don’t know; I can’t explain it.”

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear this,” I croak. He’s trying to make me feel, and I don’t want to.

He lifts his head, and gazes into my eyes. “You need to hear me out.
Don’t you see, Jules? You are saving me too. We’re each other’s lifeline in this crazy life. We have this unspeakable and inseparable bond that people can only dream of, and I think you felt it too the first time your eyes met mine.”

“Travis…” I start off, but he places two fingers over my lips, shushing me.

“I don’t want to go through this life alone anymore, baby. I want someone to grow old with, and I want that someone to be you. I need you. I will break if I don’t have you.”

“You don’t know what went down, Travis. I’m already so broken.”

“I know what went down, and I may not have been with you physically at your dad’s house, but I was there, Jules. I was there every step of the way, and I heard every gut-wrenching detail of what your father told you.”

My brows pinch together in confusion. “What are you saying?”

He sits up to straddle my waist while reaching into his front pocket. A silver chain shimmers against his tanned, calloused hands. I flick my eyes to his in question. “What’s in your hand, Travis?”

“I’ve been saving this for you. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to give this back.”

He opens his hand, and there lays my medallion. “How…” I can’t speak. He reaches out and places my family heirloom in my hand.

“I knew how important this was to you. I kept it safe since the day I took it from you in the facility. I didn’t want you to have it back until I knew you were out of harm’s way once and for all.”

Tears sting the back of my eyes as I clutch the necklace in my hand, bringing it to my chest. “How? When?” I choke, my questions getting jumbled up in my head.

“I gave you a decoy, a perfect replica,” he explains as he tenderly strokes my cheek. “I had a voice transmitter and tracker implanted in it the first second I got. Somehow, my subconscious knew I was going to break you out of there before I even knew it myself. In case you got recaptured, I would’ve been able to find you and come rescue you.”

“How did you find me, Travis? Because I didn’t have this medallion on at Nick’s house.”

“Stryker implanted a new tracker in your hip.” He pauses, his eyes becoming glassy, and his voice wavers. “The thought of losing you…” He swallows hard and shakes his head.

“You had this planned all along? From the beginning?” I whisper disbelievingly.

“From the moment you wanted me to take your virginity, I knew…I knew I had to have you, but I warred with myself. I spent a lot of time in denial.” I watch with curiosity as he reaches behind his neck and pulls his t-shirt up and over his head. The moment I see his bare chest, my eyes squint as understanding dawns.

“Oh, my God,” I gasp.

“The minute I got this tattoo…I knew what I was giving up,” he softly begins. “I gave up my heart. It’s yours, Jules.” My eyes flick back and forth, from his eyes to his tattoo.

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, mesmerized by its beauty. I can’t believe he did this for me. It’s an intricate design of celtic love knots with a modern twist, representing all the things my necklace stands for. Thick lines spiral outward, and they end with thin points. It’s sexy, manly, and hot as hell. “You really marked your body for me?” Feeling an overwhelming desire to trace the pattern with my fingertips, I reach out with my shaky hand to touch the design.

His hand comes to rest over mine on his chest as he holds my gaze. “I wanted to replicate the part of your medallion that meant eternal love, because that’s what I have for you, Julianna. It’s an undying love.”

A trail of tears slips from the corners of my eyes. “That’s why you wouldn’t take off your shirt when we made love. You weren’t ready to show it to me yet.” As I realize this, he gives me a soft smile in response. “I love you,” I croakily whisper with the last ounce of love I have left in my soul. “I’ve loved you for so long, Travis.” I catch my breath, determined to finish. “But you never told me how you felt. That hurt. It left me confused more times than I can count.”

“Oh, baby, I wanted to tell you those words for so damn long.” He draws in a shaky breath, and then pauses to get a grip on his emotions. “I love you, Jules. Say you won’t give in. Tell me we can work this out.”

“I don’t know what to say.” I didn’t see any of this coming. I had no idea he had planned out all these things in finite detail from the beginning.

“Did you ever stop to think your life was destined to be on this collision course? It was going to crash regardless of us meeting or not. Don’t you find it interesting that we had an immediate connection despite the circumstances of how we met? We’re meant to be together, Jules,” he softly pleads. “Call it fate; call it divine guidance; call it luck for all I care, but the bottom line is our souls were born to be connected.”

He lays back down over me, his elbows propped on either side of me, and I wrap my arms around him. The warmth of his bare skin beneath my fingertips is one I’ve missed severely. I run my hands up and down the length of his back, enjoying the feel of each ripped muscle. I feel at home in my soul when I’m with him. He’s right; he is very much a part of me.

“I love you, Travis.” He wipes away a silent tear with the pad of his thumb as he stares lovingly into my eyes. “I don’t know what’s left in my heart to give, but whatever is there, it’s yours.”

“I’ll scrape the bottom of the barrel to get it if I have to.”

I briefly close my lids, savoring his soft touch on my skin. “I didn’t have sex with Nick,” I blurt out, and he immediately pulls back, his eyes wide with surprise. “We were about to…before you busted in, that is.”

He blinks his eyes several times in disbelief. “But he had you for several days.”

“He was playing a reverse psychology game. He was waiting for me to make the first move.” He closes his eyes tightly, and then releases a deep sigh of relief. I run my fingers through his thick hair and pull his lips to mine.

“I gave into his game,” I whisper over his lips.

“I can’t blame you for that, sweetheart. You had drugs running through your system, and to top it off, I know you felt you were hung out to dry.”

I turn my head away from him, staring off at nothing, wearing a frown. “I’m not in a good place, Travis. I don’t think I will ever be the same.” My lips tremble and my breath hitches as I try to hold back the tears. “The emotional ups and downs have screwed with me beyond repair. I’m a mental wreck.”

“That’s not true. You’re stronger than you think you are, Jules.” I shake my head, disagreeing with him. He steers my chin back, forcing me to face him. “We’ve been through too much shit together not to be able to move past this. We’ll take the cards we’ve been dealt and we’ll move on…together.”

“Don’t you see?” My voice raises, and my hands begin to shake. ”I was going to kill them, Travis.” My eyes silently spill over with a heavy heart. “I was planning a sick revenge, and I was actually going to savor it. Hell, I was so deep inside of myself I was believing my own lies. I even told Nick I loved him.” My breath hitches as I realize just how messed up I am. “It makes me no better than my own father.”

“Shh…” He wraps his arms around me, resting his cheek against mine, whispering in my ear, “I would’ve done the same thing. Nothing’s wrong with you for wanting revenge, and you are nothing like your father.”

“He robbed me of my own mother. I mean…who does that, Travis? Who can kill their own wife and parents without blinking an eye, and then…” My throat tightens. I’m too choked up to finish my sentence.

“I don’t have those answers, Jules. I don’t know what makes people do the things they do,” he softly whispers, trying to console me.

“I don’t know myself anymore. How can I give you something, when I don’t even know if I’m capable of giving it?”

“You’re in there, baby. Trust me; you’re in there.” He kisses my cheeks, wiping away my tears. “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you. There was never a time when I didn’t have you.” I wrap my arms around him like a lifeline, pulling him into me as hard as I can while I sob into the crook of his neck. “I love you so damn much,” he whispers over and over again like a prayer.

I don’t know how much time has passed as he holds me while I fall apart into tiny little pieces. “I’m so tired of hurting,” I softly sob.

“I know, baby. I know.”

When I’ve expelled the last set of tears, he pulls back and gently wipes my face with his t-shirt. He regards me with tender eyes, and a gentle voice, “I bet you didn’t know you can have happiness amidst the sorrow. You know why? Because you still have hope.”

“No. No, I don’t,” I argue, my voice coming out raspy.

“Yes, you do. As long as you have God, and hopefully me, by your side, you’ll have hope.”

My brows pinch together, and a small laugh escapes him, his lips curving into a grin. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re right; I don’t do religion. Religion is the devil’s ace trump. There was a time when I did hit rock bottom, and when I did, He was the one who picked me up. He restored my confidence and determination, pulling me through my darkest hour.” We both grow silent as I study this complex man. Just when I think I have him figured out, he surprises me, and I find myself thinking of what Travis’ darkest hour could’ve been. He’s such a strong man, both mentally and physically. To be brought down to his knees…it’s hard to visualize him in a time of despair.

“What was your darkest hour, Travis?”

His gaze suddenly turns intense, and I think maybe I’ve overstepped my bounds. “My first love was kidnapped, just like you. By the time I was able to rescue her, it was too late. They stole her soul. She gave up on life, wound up committing suicide a few weeks later.” I’m stunned speechless. “It took me years to work through that shit. I couldn’t stop blaming myself.”

I stroke the side of his face, trying to give him some comfort. My eyes turning sorrowful, I can’t imagine the horrors that girl went through.

“My faith is personal. I keep it to myself, but I do want to share it with you. I promise you’ll find that your life will never be empty again. I will make damn sure of that.” He closes the distance with a sweet, reverent kiss.

“I don’t know how to move on,” I choke out.

“Sometimes, it’s a minute-by-minute process, and some days, you’ll have setbacks, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“I’m scared,” I whisper.

“You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t.”

“You promise to never leave me?”

“I promise, sweetheart.”

“No more lies?” I plead.

His lips twitch, and his eyes suddenly dance with mischievousness. “No more lies. Maybe some surprises every now and then, but no more lies.”

He rolls off me and pulls me into his strong embrace. I lay my cheek over his new tattoo and close my eyes, soaking up his love like a dry sponge. As I do, Quinn’s words come to mind.
Travis is the type of guy who’s more about letting his actions speak louder than words, you know?
His tattoo was his way of telling me he will love me forever.
He’s got a few skeletons in his closet, and he has a hard time opening that door of vulnerability.
But he opened his heart to me anyway, risking more than his heart. He risked his life each time without hesitation.

I turn my head and press my lips into the warmth of his chiseled chest, kissing every inch of his tattoo. “I love you so much, Travis Jackson,” I murmur between kisses.

He kisses the top of my head and breathes me in. “We will make it, sweetheart; mark my words,” he says with determination, and somehow I believe him.

I glance over at Jake, and he has a tear in his eye, but he holds his composure. I’m glad he was the one to give me away. He hands the ring to Travis, who takes it, and then turns back to me, taking my breath away. I give him a shaky smile as he gently takes my hand. I don’t know why I’m so jittery. This entire moment is so beautiful and surreal. His eyes dance over mine with such happiness, allowing calmness to settle over me.

His rich baritone voice is loud, carrying through the small church as he speaks, “In giving you this ring, I join my life with yours, and pledge my everlasting, eternal love.” His words are short and sweet, but every bit as powerful. Tears of joy fill my eyes.

With the final promises we have made to each other, the pastor tells Travis he can kiss the bride. I can’t explain how whole I feel in that moment in time. He lifts my veil as he tilts his head to the side, and then leans in for a kiss. I cup his cheeks with my hands, savoring the tender feel of his lips. I want to remember this day for the rest of my life.