Authors: Deirdre Savoy
Body Of Truth (32 page)
“She's lucky you decided not to take the trip out to Brooklyn.”
Maybe so, but he didn't feel lucky. Luck would have been not leaving her at Moretti's mercy in the first place.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
Mari had to know she did and was fishing for information. He took the folded sheets of paper on which Dana had written from his pocket and tossed them to Mari. “Let me know if you notice something unusual.”
Dana had written down everything, including what Moretti had said, what she thought he'd meant when he said it. He'd learned from what she'd written why some of the first words out of her mouth were that she thought he was deadâthe certainty with which Moretti had promised that he, Jonathan, wouldn't kill him.
Mari finished scanning the pages and looked up at him. “Am I missing something, 'cause I don't get it?”
“I don't either. Even if Moretti found out that Pierce was on to him, he's not that much of a hothead to strangle a woman, or even if he was, why not use his bare hands? Why not shoot her? There are a million other ways he could have gotten rid of her body besides leaving her in a garbage can where anyone could find her.” That had never made any sense to him, no matter who'd killed her. “He told Dana he knew I wouldn't kill him. He had to know that any mercy on my part was over once he'd taken her. And rather than come along like a good boy, he tried to fire on me.”
“What's your point?”
“He planned on not making it out of that building. My only question is why?”
“You want me to explain to you the workings of that son-of-a-bitch's mind? I haven't the faintest clue. Why'd he kill himself? Maybe he didn't want to get locked up with the rest of the scum of the earth? To me, Moretti is just as bad as any of the other skels and gangbangers we bring in here. The only difference is he had a badge. And you know what will happen now? Every single one of his busts, every single one of his convictions will get looked at again, if not dismissed outright.”
She exhaled, calming herself. “You're looking to make sense out of something that is essentially unexplainable. If criminals made sense we'd all be out of a job. Forget it, Stone. It's over. You of all people should be glad it is.”
He shrugged. Maybe she was right. He was looking for explanations where there weren't any. Why would anyone go to so much trouble to hide their part in Father Malone's death in the first place? Even though the statute of limitations for murder never expired, what could anyone have proven 25 years later when almost every piece of evidence, every witness, save for an old reformed drunk, had disappeared? Only Moretti could answer those questions, and he was dead. Maybe it was time he let it go.
He filed his report and left. He managed to last a whole twenty minutes in the shrink's office before he had enough and walked out. He didn't need his psyche delved into, no matter what the department thought. He'd done what he had to do, no more, no less. What they'd trained him to do.
He knew what he needed. She was waiting for him in a little house in Mount Vernon. He got in his car and drove home.
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Dana spent the afternoon out of sorts after Jonathan left. Tim obnoxiously refused to come out of his room for anything except to use the bathroom, punishing her in that passive/aggressive way men tended to adopt when they didn't get their own way.
For want of anything better to do, she'd lain down for a nap, only to dream of strange disjointed images that seemed not to belong together. After a while she got up, cajoled Tim into going to the store for her, and fixed a quick and uncomplicated dinner of spaghetti with meat sauce, Italian bread and salad.
Jonathan got back as she was getting ready to bring the food to the table. She pulled the door open to find him standing on the other side of the door, smiling. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey, yourself,” she said, not knowing what to make of his mood. “Did you take care of everything you needed to?”
“Almost.” She stepped back as he stepped up to cross the threshold. Once inside he pushed the door closed and took her into his arms. He leaned his back against the door and ran his hands up her back to place her arms around his neck. “Did you miss me?”
With some difficulty she held back her own smile. “Maybe.”
He pulled her closer to him. “Liar,” he whispered against her ear before pulling her lobe into his mouth and releasing it slowly. When she pulled back to look at him, he winked at her.
She shook her head, unused to this playfulness in him. “If you're so sure of my answer, why'd you bother to ask the question?”
“Is that garlic bread I smell?”
She didn't know if it was the cop in him or the man that felt compelled to answer her questions with questions of his own. “If it hasn't burned to a cinder in the oven by now.”
“Give me a minute to wash up and I'll help you.” He swatted her bottom and headed up the stairs.
Dana shook her head watching his ascent. Then she went back to the kitchen and took the bread from the oven. Thankfully, it had survived with only a little charring around the edges. Before she'd finished slicing it and placing the pieces in a bowl, Jonathan was back, wearing the same clothes, though his jacket was gone and his shirtsleeves were rolled up.
She set the bread bowl on the table. “No shower?”
“Not tonight. What can I help you with?”
“You can get the salad out of the fridge.”
He did as she asked. Within minutes she had the table set and the food laid out the way she wanted it. “Sit,” she urged. “I'll go get Tim.”
She went to her brother's room and knocked on the door. “Tim, dinner's ready.”
“I'll be out in a minute to get something.”
“No you won't. You'll come and sit at the table like a human being.”
She waited a minute. When the door didn't open, she knocked again. “Right now.”
The door opened. Tim stood on the other side, looming over her, a sour expression on his face. “Fine.” He marched past her and slumped into one of the kitchen chairs.
Dana ground her teeth together. That was a teenager for you. He'd do what he was told, but he'd try his damndest to make everyone else miserable in the process. She slapped a smile on her face and went back to the kitchen.
“I hope everyone is hungry,” she said in a false cheery voice. She claimed the seat that was next to Jonathan and opposite her brother. But as the meal progressed, she grew more annoyed with Tim. Time after time, Jonathan tried to engage him in conversation, asking about his time in Florida, his plans for school next year, his fascination with basketball and video games. Tim answered in monosyllabic grunts, when he bothered to give an answer at all. Finally, on the verge of braining her brother with the salad tongs, she excused herself intending to start cleaning up the kitchen.
Tim was up from the table a second later. “The game is still on.” He went to his room and slammed the door shut.
Dana gritted her teeth. Tim hadn't even bothered to remove his own plate from the table. She looked at Jonathan. “What am I going to do with that boy?”
He got up from the table and closed his arms around her from behind. “Leave him alone, Dana. He's doing what he's supposed to do.”
“What's that? Getting on my last nerve?”
“No, he's looking after your best interests.”
She sighed. “So I should just put up with rude behavior?”
“No. I'll have a talk with him.”
She'd noticed how well that had gone during dinner. “And what are you going to say to him this time?”
He nuzzled her neck. “That I'm in love with his big sister and to please cut me some slack.”
She froze hearing that word coming from his lips. She supposed, given his promise to stick around this morning, that sentiment shouldn't have come as such a shock, but it did. She hadn't expected him to voice his feelings so easily, so unequivocally or so soon.
She swallowed, unsure how to respond to him. She knew he was waiting for her to say something. Any man in his position would be. But her mouth didn't seem to work, except to open and close a few times with nothing coming out. Not that she could think of a coherent thing to say. As strongly as she cared for him, she wasn't ready to vocalize that yet. Not when she'd bet she understood what kind of man he was better than Joanna did. He would never be content to exist on the periphery of her life as every other man she'd known had been. She'd known that even before the L-word came into the picture. He'd want more from her, more than she was sure she had it in her to give.
She turned around to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her nose against his throat. The desire to protect herself emotionally warred with her desire to speak the truth. In the end, neither won.
After a moment, she felt the breath whoosh out of him, even though his hands moved on her back in a soothing motion. “It's okay, baby.”
She knew she'd hurt him with her silence and she felt the need to offer him some explanation for it. But again, no words came, which was just as well, since anything she said would only be an excuse, a cop out, and therefore unworthy of her.
He stepped back from her, creating a bit of space between them and tilted her chin up with his finger. His face bore an expression she didn't understand. He lowered his mouth to kiss her cheek. “I'd better go have that man-to-man with your brother.”
Twenty-two
“Come in,” Tim called in response to Jonathan's knock on his door. Jonathan pushed the door open. The teenager's surprise that he, not Dana, had come to his room was evident on his face. He went back to watching his television screen and the video game being played out on it. “What do you want, man?”
Jonathan closed the door behind him. “I wanted to talk to you about your sister.”
“What about her? Did she send you in here?”
“I thought for her sake we could iron out a couple of things between us.”
“Really?” Tim tossed the game controller onto the bed beside him. He folded his arms in a defensive posture. “What do you think you're going to tell me about my own sister?”
Damn this kid was stubborn. For a moment he searched for something to say that would break through the kid's wall of animosity. “I'll tell you what I told her. That I'm in love with her and wish you would cut me a little slack.”
Tim's eyebrows lifted. “What did she say?”
Something about Tim's reaction rang false, as if he weren't hearing that for the first time. “You already know that, don't you?”
Tim shrugged. “Maybe.” He picked up the controller again.
Jonathan sighed, wondering if this was the kid's way of saying he considered the conversation over. “Do we have a truce?”
Tim shook his head. “Tell me what happened. Dana won't talk about it. All I know is what I read in the papers and saw on TV.”
Which Jonathan knew was, at best, a distortion of reality. Apparently Tim's hostility was trumped by his curiosity. “Mind if I sit?”
Tim nodded toward the chair. “Go ahead.”
Jonathan recounted the story, leaving almost nothing out. Tim's one word of response was, “Man.”
For a moment neither of them said anything. Jonathan remained silent, hoping it would give Tim enough room to say what was on his mind.
“Does this mean you'll still be coming around?”
At first he wondered if Tim thought that was a good idea or not, but he heard none of the belligerence in the kid's voice now. “Yes.”
“Don't hurt her and don't make her cry.”
How could he promise anyone something like that? In any relationship there were bound to be ups and downs, rough times. He answered Tim as honestly as he could. “That's not my intention.”
Tim nodded.
Jonathan let himself out of the room and shut the door behind him. He found Dana standing in almost the same spot he'd left her. He wondered if she'd been able to hear what he and Tim talked about.
She closed the gap between them. “How'd it go?”
“We have a truce.” He looped his arm around her waist. “Come walk me to the door.”
“You're leaving? Is it because of what happened before?”
He kissed her temple. “No, baby. But I think your brother needs you more than I do tonight.”
He led her to the door, then pulled her into his arms for a kiss goodnight. She kissed him back with the kind of fervor he hadn't seen in her since the night the car went after her in the alley. God, he wished he'd kept his mouth shut now, but the words had slipped from his lips effortlessly when he'd said them. He should have known she couldn't handle them yet.
He pulled away from her, not because he wanted to but because he knew in another moment he'd forget what he was supposed to do and drag her off to her room. He wasn't looking forward to spending the night alone, even if it were for the best.
“Good night, sweetheart,” he said. “What time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?” When she looked up at him in confusion, he added, “For Joanna's barbecue?”
“Oh. I forgot. Call me in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Say good night to Tim for me.”
He let himself out of the house and walked to his car. Considering the uncertain expression on her face when he walked out, maybe he shouldn't have left her. He glanced back at the house, but she'd already closed the door behind him, shutting him out.
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For a long time after Jonathan drove off, she remained by the door, leaning her back against it. Jonathan said his leaving had nothing to do with what transpired in her kitchen, but she wasn't sure she believed him. Until then, he hadn't mentioned anything about going home. She hadn't heard what was said between him and Tim, but she doubted it was anything so earth shattering that he felt compelled to leave over it. Maybe she was being paranoid, but she feared she'd ruined things between them.
She pushed off the door and walked to Tim's door. She rapped on the surface. “Do you want to watch a movie with me?”
After a moment, he said, “Okay.”
She was tempted to say, “Could you show a little less enthusiasm?” but held her tongue. Tim wasn't responsible for her bleak mood. Neither was Jonathan, really. She did that to herself by not being honest with him when she should have been.
But Tim wasn't helping any either, between his rudeness before and his surly attitude now as they settled on the sofa and decided on something to watch. Finally, at the edge of her patience, she asked, “What is with you tonight? First you're angry because Jonathan was here and now that he's gone you're still mad.”
“Jon isn't the problem, Dana. You are. What you did to him tonight wasn't right.”
Those were the last words she'd expected to come from his mouth. “So it's Jon, now? You had your great guy bonding moment and now he's all right?”
“Look, I know I was wrong when you first told me about him. But how was I supposed to feel? When I was growing up, you never even brought a guy around here. I wasn't even sure you liked guys or anyone, for that matter. Then all of a sudden you tell me you're in danger and you're staying with him? And you won't even let me see you. Okay, that part I can understand. But, you've got to stop treating me like I'm still seven years old and Mom just died.”
“I don't.”
“Don't you? You think I didn't notice the way he looks at you? What that means? Are you so cold inside that you don't know either? My God, Dana, the man told you he loved you and you didn't say a thing.”
For an instant she wondered if he'd heard that himself or if Jonathan had told him. Truthfully, it didn't matter. It never occurred to her that her brother saw her that way, distant and unfeeling. Even if he did, she didn't need this from him right now. “That's none of your business.”
“You know, Sis, I don't understand you. You don't believe in anything do you? Not God, not anybody else, not me.”
Her anger finally bubbled over. “I believe in me, that's what I believe in. I'm the only person I could ever turn to, count on. Who was ever there for me? You tell me that?”
“It seems to me that when that shit went down with Moretti, someone had your back and it wasn't you.” He pushed to his feet. “I'm going to bed.”
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After Tim walked out, she pulled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees. She'd done an excellent job of alienating both men in her life, though she had to admit with Tim, each of them had given as good as they got.
She didn't have to question if Tim was right about her. She knew he was. Even her clients, like Nadine, grumbled about her lack of sympathy and sentimentality. She knew she'd been stern in raising Tim, but she'd never realized she'd shown him that side of herself, or at least not enough to make him think her callous.
She also knew that she and Tim would work out whatever disagreement they had. They always did. It was her relationship with Jonathan that concerned her, or rather her inability to be straightforward with him about how she felt. He'd deserved some kind of honest response to his declaration of love, and she hadn't given him one. What bothered her most was that she'd held back out of fear. Tim was right about that, too. She lacked the faith in herself and in him, in life, that things would turn out all right. That wasn't fair to any of them.
In the morning, she would make it right with Jonathan. She would tell him that she'd been stunned by his admission and her own insecurities held her back from returning his feelings. She hoped that would be enough.
For the first time in a long time, she climbed into bed alone and lonely. She lay there for a long time, watching the shadows from passing cars dancing on the ceiling, until her eyes closed one last time and finally sleep came.
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The next morning Tim informed her that some friends had invited him to a party up in Yorktown Heights near the Croton River. Since she didn't want him making the two-hour drive twice in one day, she agreed that he could borrow her car and spend the night up there. He seemed genuinely contrite about their argument the night before, as was she. Besides, if she hadn't read the expression she saw in his eyes, a girl figured somewhere in this outing, as well.
She had no idea if Tim were sexually active yet. That's one thing she knew he'd never tell her unless she cornered him into doing so. Given the present circumstances, she wasn't about to ask him. She'd done all she could in that regard anyway. She'd taught him how to use a condom, which was eminently more embarrassing for him than it was for her. She'd taught him what it meant to be sexually responsible, not only in protecting himself and his partner from disease, but in other ways as well. It was up to him to make the right choices.
As he headed to the door, she stopped him. “Have a good time.”
He embraced her. “I will. You, too.”
She stepped back from him. “You know I love you, right?”
He huffed. “Of course I do. You know, Sis, I know you sacrificed a lot to keep me with you after mom died.”
True, but she never wanted him to feel guilty for that. “Whatever I did, I did because I wanted to. You're my brother.”
“I know. Let me finish. I guess I was mad at first that you were with Jon. You've always been there for me. But that's kinda selfish, isn't it?”
“Just a little bit.”
“I want you to know that if you have the chance to be happy with him, then you should take it.”
Fine advice to give her now, after she'd probably blown it with him. “I intend to.”
Tim smiled. “Good. At least I'll be sure someone is taking care of you while I'm away at college.”
Dana rolled her eyes. “Look out, your macho is showing.”
He laughed but he didn't deny it. “I better get going.”
She couldn't help one last admonishment. “Be careful.”
He didn't pretend not to know to what she referred. He winked at her. “You, too, Sis.” With one last grin, he was gone.
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After a night without much sleep, Jonathan pulled up in front of Dana's house. She was already sitting out on her porch waiting for him. Tyree, who'd come to see him as he was walking out the door to give him a progress report, had delayed him. Tyree's mom was back on her feet and promised her son she'd find some other way to earn a living. That was no guarantee she wouldn't slip back to her old life, but it was nice to see the hope on the boy's face.
He got out of the car and walked up the front steps. As he approached, she stood. Once he made it onto her side of the porch, she stepped into his arms and kissed him. For a long moment, he lost himself in her tender embrace. Eventually, he pulled back, looking down at her with a bemused expression on his face. “Um, where's Tim? Isn't he coming with us?”
She shook her head. “He's found better things to do than hang out with us.” She lowered her gaze and when she looked at him it was with a troubled expression on her face. “We need to talk, Jon.”
Inwardly, he froze. He'd dreaded this since he left her last night. He'd lain in bed last night contemplating her reaction to him telling her he loved her last night. He vacillated between the certainty that she simply hadn't been ready to verbalize her feelings and the fear that she didn't return them at all. He thought back to when he'd told her he wasn't going anywhere unless she wanted him to. She hadn't said anything to that, either, only voiced her desire for her brother to come home.
The kiss she'd just laid on him notwithstanding, if there was the slightest possibility that it was the latter sentiment she wanted to express, he didn't want to hear it. He didn't think he could handle that right now, not and go make nice with his relatives afterward. That much of a brave face he didn't possess.
“Can we talk about it when we get home? We're already late and you know how Joanna gets.”
To his relief, she smiled. “Sure.” She went back to the rocker she'd been sitting in and picked up her purse. “I'm ready.”
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