Bollywood Nightmare (3 page)

“Do you not know how?”

“Don’t be silly, of course I know how! It’s just my heart belongs to another.”

“Aww, that’s romantic.”

“Nah, it’s serious. It’s basically added up to approximately three hundred and fifty-two years, seventy-eight days and thirteen hours of celibacy, give or take a minute or two.”

“Sounds like true love to me,” I said.

Johnny just nodded.

“I think I just heard your father call me.” He disappeared.

I had never experienced anything close to love. Infatuation yes, lust, oh definitely, but I knew I’d never been in love. Funny how you found it in the strangest places.

Chapter Three

Johnny

So things went well at first. I got Kiya into Bollywood and Kiya was happy. I made sure no lecherous actors or directors hit on Kiya, and Rahul was happy. Laura could see her baby doing well and could tell she was content so, you guessed it,
she
was miserable.

Mothers!

“It’s just not a proper job, Johnny. I worry about her.”

“Really? Is this the girl who adored Bollywood so very much as a kid? Now it’s not a good enough career for your daughter.”

“I loved the magic of the movies.” Laura sighed and folded the sari in her hands. “Now I know what happens behind the scenes, I worry for my baby.”

“Rahul has it covered, I’ve influenced every sweaty man in the damn industry, not one of them will make a move on your daughter.”

“I know, I know, but you can’t protect her from bad reviews and comments about her weight and stupid stuff like that. You know, the things that really screw a kid over.”

“Even if she was a nun you’d not be able to protect her from that.”

“I guess not, Johnny. I’d be less worried for her in a convent though.”

“Blimey, I’m good but even I can’t convince your daughter to nun up!”

“No, I guess not.” Laura’s smile limped across her lips. “I suppose she’s just got to find her own way.”

“She won’t go anyone else’s,” I huffed. “She gets her stubbornness from her parents.”

“Oh, Johnny, you’re ever the charmer.”

I rolled my eyes and was about to puff back into my lamp, I had a scarf to finish knitting—what, even Djinns got a little chilly now and then—when Kiya burst into the living room.

“Mum, Mum, you’ll never guess what’s happened!” she screamed and threw herself into Laura’s arms.

“What, my sunbeam, has a good man proposed?”

“No, no, no, way better than that. They want me in Hollywood!”

“Hollywood?” Laura looked hesitant for a moment but was carried away with her daughter’s enthusiasm. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, well, I told you last week that Leaf Brook was at the studio, he was checking out the place for some film he was planning to do with a little bit set in Mumbai. Well, he loved
Mishti
so much he’s decided he wants to make his own Bollywood film in Hollywood.”

“How does that even work?” I mumbled. “Hollywood isn’t Bollywood.”

“Johnny, hush, it doesn’t matter, does it? Anyway…” She turned away from me and started gabbling at her mother again. Something about him being so struck with her beauty and unusual looks that he wanted her for the female lead in his Hollywood blockbuster.

“So, when’s he coming over again to film?” I asked. I’d have a new pile of men to bewitch into not drooling all over Kiya.

“He’s not, I’m going to Hollywood!”

Laura squealed as loud as her daughter for a moment, then it caught up with her.

“You are planning to take me with you aren’t you?”

“Aw, Mum, of course not.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t be upset, Mum, but this is the ideal opportunity for me to break out and see a bit of the world on my own. I’m twenty and I want to experience life, you know?”

Laura sighed but nodded. “You will be careful, won’t you?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“And you’ll ring me every day?”

“Oh, Mother.” Kiya rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, I’ll ring you.”

“Well, okay then, it looks like my daughter’s going to Hollywood.”

* * * *

At the time it didn’t bother me. America was not a place I ever visited. It was a Djinn thing. There were some Djinns who had very long memories and held stupid grudges. A whole mess of them lived in America so I stayed away from that geographical area. Who wanted skyscrapers and fast food anyway? I knew Kiya would be happy to escape her family for a while and I thought it’d be pleasant to not have to deal with her for a while too. As pleasant as she was, she doubled my workload and I needed a rest. I worked very hard, you know—I was a slave, please remember that.

It was later that night that the shit really hit the fan. Rahul called me forth just as I was working on the last crossword clue of the day.

“What do you want?” I snapped. “I’m this close to working out five down.”

“I want you to go to Hollywood with Kiya.”

“What?” I dropped my newspaper. “No, no, no. I am your Djinn, not hers. I go where
you
go.”

“But if I give her my pendant you could go with her in that.”

“But that’s only for emergencies, Rahul. You know I am linked to you, my power is inextricably linked to being with my earthly master. More’s the pity really.”

“Yes, but if I command you to go, do the whole wish thing, you’ll have to go, right? And I can wish that your powers will be strong while you’re away from me and all that crap, can’t I?”

I didn’t want to tell him that yes, he was indeed right. I needed to be linked to my master, I didn’t have to live in his pocket.

“Rahul, buddy, listen. I can’t go to America. I just can’t. I have a reputation over there and there’s a lot of bad blood between myself and the American Djinns. I really can’t set foot in the US, they’ll kill me.”

“Oh, come off it. I’m sure a big strapping Djinn like you can look after yourself. Anyway, it’s only for a few months and you could keep under the radar. All I want you to do is look after Kiya.”

“Kiya is old enough to look after herself, Rahul. You should give her freedom.”

“Don’t you dare, Johnny. You’re not a father. I don’t want my daughter thousands of miles away from me. She’ll be completely alone and vulnerable in the world. No, Johnny, she needs my protection and the best way I can do that is to send you.”

“You could go yourself,” I snapped.

“Kiya would go mental if I did. But you could go under cover, not let on you were there, you know? I could hide the pendant in her luggage. She’d never realise you were there.”

“Rahul, I don’t tell you much about my past but please understand the Djinns in America aren’t just mildly pissed off with me because of my harsh and abrasive ways. They’re
seriously
pissed off. I did something, something I’m not proud of and it has set them against me. I don’t know why they’ve held on to the grudge for this damn long, but Djinns have long memories, I suppose. So please understand I’m not just seeking out an excuse. I really am walking into the lion’s den if I go over there.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny, but my daughter is too precious to send away on her own and I cannot make her stay home, she’d hate me forever. No, Johnny, I command you, I wish for you to take my daughter to Hollywood and to stay with her and protect her and bring her home safely.”

“As you wish, Master.” I scowled and disappeared back to my comfy tea kettle away from the stupid and annoying human. I don’t know why I kept doing it to myself, I kept hoping that one day one of them would be kind to me. That they’d be anything but selfish. But no, every time I asked for anything I was knocked back.

I really didn’t want to run the risk of running into my love’s family over there. I had loved her so damn much, still did actually, I wished I’d never left her. But they had got some bee in their bonnet about it all and had been really off with me since. She was back in Jennistan now, living her life blissfully unaware that I missed her every single day I was here in the human world without her. But I shouldn’t be telling you all this.

Her family, the idiots, well, they were captured by some human or other a little while after me, about a century or so later I believed. Yet when I bumped into them on my travels they had been as violent and hostile as they had been in Jennistan. I’d tried to make peace, I really had, but they weren’t having it. So they stayed on one side of the globe and I stuck to the other and East and West should never meet. But no, my stupid master had commanded me to go into enemy territory. Well, he’d be bloody sorry when his Djinn didn’t come back.

Chapter Four

Kiya

People thought I had it all. Haadiyaa certainly believed so. She was constantly whining on about how I had everything I’d ever wanted and how my life was completely cushy and hers wasn’t. I nodded and sympathised and told her to make the best of what she had, she was lucky in her own way. She thought I was patronising her. I wasn’t, I truly thought she
was
lucky.

I was one of the biggest stars in Bollywood and I was still a virgin. I had barely even kissed a boy. When I got anywhere close Johnny puffed into existence and spoilt things.

Masturbating was almost impossible too. Not that Johnny appeared in my room often, it was just I knew he could and that knowledge put me on edge. If I made one whimper or moan that he latched onto he’d be in my room and great embarrassment would ensue. I couldn’t wait until I was in America and all on my own! I wouldn’t have to lie stiller than still with my hand over my mouth as I masturbated. I’d not have to worry about Djinn intervention in the US.

I would have loved to close my eyes and fantasise about a big, hard man taking me. I would have liked to run some kind of sex dream through my mind of who I might meet in the US and what they might do to me but I was scared to close my eyes when pleasuring myself. I had to be on constant Djinn watch. It was why I didn’t bother masturbating often but sometimes I just had to. I would get to the point where I just couldn’t let it all build up inside me any longer.

It wasn’t exactly fun. I would do my best to make myself come in the shortest amount of time possible. Oh, how I longed to spend some time pleasuring myself properly, exploring all my abundant curves and really letting rip with a scream as the orgasm I had worked so hard to build, ripped through my body.

It really was sad when you couldn’t even masturbate in peace. I furtively sought my pleasure, rubbing the exact spot to bring me to climax. I used a pressure I knew would hurry on the explosion I needed and bit my lip as the satisfaction of climax hit me. It was just after I came that I heard a faint knock on the door.

“Yes?” I called, convinced I’d made a noise and alerted someone to my carnal pleasure.

“Kiya, it’s your dad, can I come in?”

“Well, yes, I suppose so,” I said, sitting up and straightening out my long skirts. I grabbed a book from my bedside and pretended to be reading.

“I want to give you something for your journey,” he said and walked in. “Something really special.”

He handed me a necklace and hanging from it was a vial, a fat green bottle, but it glinted so brightly it surprised me and colours of all kinds seemed to swim across its surface.

“Oh, Dad, I can’t take this, it’s yours!” I protested. As long as I’d known him he’d had that thing around his neck.

“No, Kiya, take it. You can give it me back when you come home but it is my good luck charm and I am sure it will keep you safe while you’re so far away from me.”

I smiled at Dad, a lump in my throat. I took the offered amulet and stroked the side of Dad’s hand as the transfer took place.

“I’ll miss you,” I said, “but I won’t be away long.”

“I know, my
sajni,
I know. Your mother and I will miss you too but I suppose you must grow up and learn to fend for yourself sometime. I just wish it didn’t have to be so far away.”

“I’ll ring you, Dad, I promise. I’ll keep in touch.”

“Okay,
sajni.
” I could swear Dad’s deep blue eyes were watering. “Don’t forget us, okay?”

“Never,” I replied and impulsively threw myself into his arms for a hug like I used to do when I was oh so little. He held me tight and pressed his face into my hair.

“I love you, Kiya, always remember that.”

“Of course,
pita
, I know you do and you know I love you and I always will. You’re the best.”

“Please keep this necklace on you at all times, okay,
sajni?
I know you will think it some foolish old man’s superstition, but I really will feel so much happier if you do this one thing for me.”

“Sure, Dad, no problem, I will wear it all the time until I come home.”

“You are such a good girl. Anyway, I should let you get your rest, you have a long flight ahead of you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I smiled and reached out to stroke his hand once more. “Love you.”

I wasn’t generally one to be overly emotional but as much as I was looking forward to moving out and being free of my parents and that damn Djinn, I knew I would miss them. My parents that was, not Johnny. I would definitely not miss Johnny.

I told him so when he lifted my suitcase into the car the next morning.

“Feeling’s mutual, my dear,” he said with a smirk. “Being imprisoned is a pretty horrible thing but it’s even worse to be on babysitting duty twenty-four-seven. Good riddance to you.”

“You say the nicest things.” I beamed and blew him an insincere air kiss before hugging my parents and leaping into the back of the limo. I hadn’t known anything beyond Mumbai in my twenty years apart from the odd trip to Goa for a break. Mum might have had her origins in London but she had no ties to take her back there. I’d never been abroad on holiday, which was madness knowing how much money my father brought in, and I’d never really even explored India. Most Bollywood pictures used the sets in Mumbai and rarely went off to exotic locations.

Mumbai seemed exotic to those who didn’t live there. I supposed the same could be said for Las Vegas or Blackpool but when you lived there year round and you saw the grubbiness behind the twinkling bright lights you soon became fed up of even the most exciting locales. So, as the tall buildings, the glam cafés and bars rolled past, the beautiful people in shades and sparkling saris, the tourists with their cameras and their guide books, the bling and the brightness were all lost on me. I just ignored it all and dreamt of what lay ahead in the land of morning glory…well, the saying was something like that, I was sure.