Authors: S L Lewis
‘Shit, shit, shit
,
’ my mind screamed as I no longer had any excuses!
There was silence
all the way to her office then she shut the door
.
‘
R
est assured I am not going to pounce on you
,
’ she joked, however
,
I wasn’t laughing, just looking for all available exits.
‘I’m not sure how to start so I’ll just go for it. I saw you in reception when you started on Monday and thought you were very pretty and funny at how you dealt with the receptionists. I hung around until Ann came to meet you. I know I should have told you I was gay but I didn’t want it to be a major thing between us and I wanted to get to know you away from work
,
’ she stated as she walked towards me. I felt uncomfortable as she sat next to me and moved away slightly to gain more distance ‘If you
had
told me you were gay I wouldn’t have had a problem with it Sarah but you didn’t tell me,
instead you
took me out and then kissed me
,
’ I pronounced.
She looked at the floor as though embarrassed
.
‘I made a mistake. I’m sorry. But we had a really good night so can’t we just forget it and try to be just friends? I would still really like to go out clubbing with you and I promise not to grope you this time
,
’ she said with a nervous laugh. I thought about how much fun I had before the coming out of the closet and racing back in and bol
ting the door firmly shut saga
and realised she’s really fun
.
‘
C
onsider it forgotten
,
’ I replied and gave her a hug which was reciprocated.
After having a laugh about the situation and jokes about how good the kiss actually was, I went back downstairs and saw an extra pile
of paperwork
Ann had secretly dumped on my desk. With her prying eye, I didn’t react I just continued with my work when an email popped up.
I saw the sender was Angus so I thought it was an update on the meeting
;
I opened it. It read,
‘I hope you had a good time the other night and I wanted to apologise for my behaviour with you. I now know the feelings could
never have
been mutual but Sarah is a great girl and I hope you have a great relationship.
Yours
,
Angus. X’
‘Oh great. Now he thinks I’m gay too. Is it my perfume? Or do my clothes and general stature scream gay?’ I thought as I started a reply,
‘
T
hank you for the apology, however
,
if you are just apologising because you think I’m gay and therefore have no hope of anything happening between us then I’m afraid to say you are wrong about me being gay but right that I will never get together with my boss and a married man.
Regards
,
Neeta’
I looked into his office as I saw him reading the reply and saw him look at me through the window with a shocked look on his face and then he continued to type,
‘I can’t say that I’m not happy to hear that your straight but I still want to apologise. I acted like an idiot but it’s just when I see you I feel
this
energy, happiness and passion…a lot of passion. I know I’m married and I know I’m your boss but if
only you knew my situation Nita
. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me but we haven’t slept in the same room for three months. She knows there is no love there anymore but we’re just trying to act like a couple until the children finish school then we can go our separate ways. I would never advise anyone to get involved with a married
man
but my situation is different and I know I’ve
only
know
n
you for four days
,
but the moment I met you something sparked inside me and I don’t get that too often so I don’t want to let it and you go. Please just think about it
.
’
What is it with the management in this place? When they see fresh blood they have to pounce on it straight away in case
it goes past the sell by date?
This is ridiculous I thought as I looked up from my screen to see him looking at his computer screen sadly.
I decided not to respond to his email without investigating his marriage further so I went to the official office gossip and office oracle
,
Brian.
Now Brian is fantastic. He has the driest sense of humour, always tells stories of his eventful night out with his partner, Paulo in
Soho
and knows everything about everyone in the office before they do! We clicked the first day I started and I knew he would know everything about Angus as he secretly fancies him I found
this
out one afternoon when he gave me a graphic account of how he planned to ‘turn’ him).
I approached his desk and he clapped his hands as though excited to see me
.
‘I have news about someone in Human
R
esources who has been very naughty in the photocopying room with a certain someone from Sales and
marketing,
’ he purred
.
‘
o
kay tell me that in a minute Bri
,
I just wanted to know about Angus’s wife cos he asked me to buy her
a
present and I was gonna get her per
fume but need to know what she
like
s
cos perfume is a very individual present, don’t you think?’ I confidently explained and hoped he wouldn’t see through that flakily explanation.
He didn’t.
‘Hmmm, he’s buying her
a
present, really? He hasn’t spoken about her for a while and she hasn’t been into the office for a few weeks. Usually she’ll come in with the kids but nope, nothing. Maybe buy her some Chanel
N
o. 5. Can’t go wrong with a bit of Chanel
,
can you? He responded whilst checking his appearance in his hand sized mirror he keeps in
the
top drawer
of
his desk.
After finding out about Susan sleeping with Eric from Sales and
M
arketing and being caught on the CCTV camera, I went back to my desk and continued to ponder if Angus was really telling the truth and should this make a difference?
Getting back to my des
k, I decided I would use the rest of the day to concentrate on the work Ann had set,
so I cont
inued with the heap of files she
left on my desk and only looked up when I heard Brian shout goodbye
.
‘Wow is it
5pm
already?’ I thought as I saw people leaving the office.
As I packed my desk away and wishing Ann a pleasant evening, there were only a few people in the office and I looked up to see Angus sat in his office staring into space.
I hesitated before I knocked
on
the door.
‘Hi Ni
ta, you don’t need to knock
,
’ he pronounced
‘You looked thoughtful and I didn’t want to disturb you
,
’ I murmured before he signalled me to enter.
I sat on the sofa and surprisingly didn’t feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he was still sat behind his desk.
Angus seemed
distracted
and when I couldn’t bear the silence anymore I started, ‘I thought I should come and see you instead of replying to your email. I’m not sure what you want me to think about? I know your situation but you’re not separated and you
’
r
e
still my boss
,
so regardless of
any feelings
it will not change the fact that nothing will ever happen between us
.
’ He glanced at me as though
he was
studying every piece of my body an
d
examining my body
language
.
He sighed and looked away.
When he didn’t reply, I decided there was nothing more to say so I got up to leave.
‘Wait
,
’ he shouted. He got out
of
his chair and came towards me. I started to get nervous again so I backed away towards the door slowly
.
‘I’m not going to try anything with you but instead of talking here do you fancy joining me for dinner? I don’t fancy cooking tonight. Carol and the kids are going to her mothers and I’ll be home alone and a frozen dinner for one doesn’t sound that appealing tonight
,
’ he asked. I looked into his eyes and saw the sorrow pouring out. I considered it for a minute then looked at him again, ‘ok but we’re just going as boss and employee
,
’ I concluded. He looked hurt and stepped away
.
‘
C
an’t it be as friends?’ he asked quietly.
I felt his pain and nodded.
As we got into the car, we drove down to Knightsbridge into
an
Italian restaurant,
tucked away down a side street
where he’d obviously been many times before as they greeted him with, ‘
H
ello Mr
.
Maguire. Table for two?’ Angus nodded and we were escorted to a small secluded table in the corner of the restaurant. As Angus ordered the wine, I inspected the menu.
Beautiful risottos, fantastic looking seafood dishes and amazing sounding salads. I opted for the Mozzarella Al Forno (
Buffalo
mozzarella wrapped in cured ham (prosciutto) and baked, served warm with herbed olive oil) for the starter and Lobster linguine for the main course.
I thought the conversation would be very gloomy and based around the problems with his marriage but it was
just
the opposite.
Angus was very funny.
He joked about his thoughts on my night out with Sarah, his previous relationships and disastrous dates, his working relationship with Ann and his thoughts on others in the company.
After finishing our third bottle of wine, we decided not to get dessert. He paid the bill and we headed out of the restaurant
.
‘
S
o where now?’ he asked whilst trying to re
gain his balance on a lamp post
. I laughed as I thought he was joking, ‘I’m being serious. Why don’t we hit
Camden
? Isn’t that near you?’ he asked whilst fixing his jacket
.
‘
Y
e
a
h it’s near me but we’ve got work tomorrow and after Wednesday I don’t want to give Ann any
more ammunition’ I explained whilst trying to walk in a straight line.
Angus stood where he was and refused to continue until I agreed to go to a bar with him in
Camden
.
‘I will not move until you say yes Neets and I’m your boss not Ann so forget about tomorrow!’ This feeling off danger came over me and getting completely lost in the moment
,
I agreed.
With a wave of the hand, a taxi appeared in front of us and we were giggling all the way to
Camden
.
The bar was already full when we got there so we manag
ed to squeeze our way to the bar
to order two double brandy’s and coke.
It was obvious that
this was another of
Angus
’s haunts
as after a brief conversation with one of the bar men, he gave him one of his credit cards and asked him to put our drinks on
;
the young bartender
took the card and placed it behind the bar,
nodded and smiled.