Bonds of Blood [Lords of the Expanse] (Siren Publishing Classic) (35 page)

“I know, but, Andries…” Xandra paused and grinned. “You are the one who raised our daughter to know that she can do anything that she wants. That she’s as powerful as he is.” Another wave of unease rolled through her. A slight dizziness washed over her. “Andries, something is very wrong.” Fear turned her face pale as she looked up at
him.

Turning off the water, he lifted her up carefully and stepped out of the shower. Setting her on her feet on the rug, he grabbed up a towel to dry her. Moving quickly but with care, he froze as he was drying her leg. “Xandra,” he whispered looking up into her eyes, “you’re bleeding, love.”

Xandra didn’t hear him at first with the roaring in her ears and licked her lips. “What?” she asked and felt herself crumble slightly. “No, Andries, no.” She couldn’t be bleeding. No, she couldn’t. The fear was followed by a pain in her stomach that was so forceful she bent in the middle and cried out from it.

Scooping her back up in his arms, Andries hesitated as if indecisive for a moment. As more blood began to flow, he took her back into the shower and turned the water on again as he sat down with her in his lap. Rocking her gently, he stroked her back. “Talk to me, love. What’s wrong, Xandra?”

She couldn’t speak past the tears and the sobs of pain that were going through her.
We are losing our child, Andries,
her mind said in a broken speech inside of him. She tried to hold onto the little life that was winking out. She felt the death of the being inside of her as he slipped away, and that broke something inside of her.

“What?” he croaked out, softly hugging her even closer to him. “Xandra.”

Xandra was sobbing, trying to hold onto the little life inside of her that wanted to live, but she couldn’t. Sometime during her pain, during the intense grief, she heard Andria and shook her head. “No, Andries, tell her that she can’t try to heal this.” As much as she wanted her to, she couldn’t endanger their daughter like that for fear of it harming and or taking her from them, too.

Andria, don’t,
Andries whispered privately to their daughter.
It’s not meant to be, baby girl. When it’s our time, we’ll have another.

Daddy, I can help. Please. I can feel Mom’s pain. I can feel the pain and fear of the baby. Let me in, please?
Andria all but begged her father as she stood at the base of the stairs with tears streaming down her face.

No, baby, please respect your mother’s wishes on this and let it be. After… After, you will need to help your mother, but for now, let nature take her course.

That’s not fair, Daddy.
Andria sat on the bottom step and covered her face with her hands while she cried. She could feel her mother’s upset and knew. She knew when the child was lost to them for good and felt her mother’s overwhelming pain at the loss.

Life wasn’t fair, but Andries couldn’t say that to his daughter. It wasn’t her fault any more than it was Xandra’s that the babe was lost. The cold blade of blame fell on him. He should have taken more care with his wife. He hadn’t and it was his fault that they’d lost their baby. It was and always would be his fault.

Standing slowly with Xandra in his arms, he washed her body and then, still silent, got out with her, dried her, and took her to their bed. Laying her down, Andries tucked her in and asked Andria to come stay with her mother while he cleaned up the bathroom, not wanting Xandra to have to see any of what was in there.

When Andria tried to touch her Xandra shook her head. “No, darling. I know you too well. You will feel the injury, the hurt, and try to heal it, and I can’t let you. I can’t let you hurt yourself as much as this would likely hurt you, my love. I love you, daughter, but don’t.”

Andria’s heart was breaking, but pulling back, she nodded. “All right, Mother,” she whispered and simply sat at her side and watched her mother and waited for her father.

Walking out of the bathing chamber, Andries looked to his wife and daughter and let out a sigh. Padding toward them, he touched Andria’s face lightly and pulled her up into his arms. Hugging her close to him, he kissed the top of her head. “Will you go and let the staff know we won’t be dining tonight, sweets?” he asked gently.

Andria nodded and hugged her father back. “I’m sorry, Daddy, Mother.” She squeezed her mother’s hand and nodded. “I will let them know.” She would deliver the heartbreaking news to the staff, and it would take a part of her with it. Moving from her parents, she left them alone to deal with their grief.

Xandra looked up at Andries, her eyes red from tears. “Will you hold me, Andries?” She felt a failure. She had lost their babe. It was her fault their child died, and she was feeling the pain from that loss deeply.

Stripping down once Andria was gone, he slid into bed with her and pulled her in close. “It wasn’t your fault, love,” he whispered softly. “It wasn’t meant to be, Xandra.” He had to think that or he’d blame himself for what had happened. He’d taken her, not all that gently, and he knew he should have taken more care with her.

“You aren’t to blame for our losing our child if I’m not,” Xandra whispered with tears in her eyes as she watched him and hugged him close. “I love you, Andries, and if I’m not to blame, then neither are you.” It was that simple. “I love you, Andries.”

“I love you, too, my lady wife,” he whispered, leaning his forehead to hers as he rubbed at her back gently. “You are most definitely not to blame.” Which meant he would have to keep his own self blame to himself.

“We will work past this, won’t we, Andries?” Xandra asked quietly as she looked up at her soul tie. “If you tell me that we will get over this, if you tell me that we will work past this, I will believe you.”

“We will work past this, love,” he said softly, stroking her skin slowly and gently. “We will work past this and we will be able to live again. We won’t ever forget. We’re not that kind of people. We will never forget, but we will move forward and live.”

“We will, Andries, but only if we stay together, stay strong, and love each other all through it,” Xandra whispered softly. “I do love you, Andries. No matter what else, I love you always from now and beyond.”

“I love you, too, Xandra, always,” he murmured, hugging her tight. “I’m not going anywhere at all, my love. I will be right here with you for all time. You are mine and I need you in my life. You’re my heart.”

THE END

WWW.HONOR-JAMES.NET

Born in the mid-seventies, this thirty-something woman has only been writing for the last six years of her life, faithfully that is. Honor has always been scribbling a phrase, a curious word, or the oddest of thoughts down on anything she could find laying about. Now she piles them up before her and, if one catches her fancy, she further explores it to whatever its end might be.

A lover of books, her reading material spans from Shakespeare to mysteries and all the way to the erotic. Anything and everything she can lay her hands on she’ll read. Though, these days, she leans more toward the paranormal than anything else.

Poetry was her first love, lasting about three solid years. Don’t ask. She won’t show many of them to anyone. Then short stories became the focus, and finally she began to write for more than just writing what came to mind. She started to write for pleasure and to tell the story that begged to be told.

Life and family came next. Working full-time as a customer service representative and raising two children got in the way, and the writing that she so loved as a teenager seemed to be pushed off to the back burner of everything.

So several years passed and her children turned into more than the babies that demanded her attention and into young children and then teenagers with different demands, ones that allowed her to once more spread her imagination to the wind and ask for more, want more.

As with all great things, the door to her notebook-written word might have been closed and placed on hold, but where a door closes another one opens, and in this case it was with the advent of buying a computer.

Honor spends many a sleepless night pounding at the keyboards. She is a consummate professional in her daytime career. However, at night her visions swing to the fantastical and in those long hours after the children and husband are in bed, she weaves together words and blends up stories that not only bring a whole new meaning to romance, but sizzle the pages with a heat that will have the readers begging for more.

For all titles by Honor James, please visit

www.bookstrand.com/honor-james

Siren Publishing, Inc.

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