Bonds of Courage (15 page)

She was gorgeous and sexy in the tiny red bikini top and low-slung jean shorts. The messy bun showed off the graceful line of her neck and the haughty arch of her chin. It didn’t matter what she wore, her bearing was one of a proud Mistress to him. The longing to worship every inch of her exposed flesh swamped him with a desire that didn’t belong there.

Shit.
He closed the boat door and helped with the lines as they set out, a knot of dread coiled in his stomach. What had started out as a fun, relaxing day was now filled with unwanted tension, and there was no escape route. He was stuck with ten people he barely knew on a boat the size of a kid’s bedroom, until they decided the fun ended.

Why in the hell did I think this was a good idea?

“Here.”

He jerked from his thoughts to see Liv holding his now-dry sunglass out to him. “Thanks,” he said as he put them on. At least he could stare at Vanessa without everyone knowing.

Liv handed him a beer then moved a stack of towels over to sit beside him on the bench. She bumped shoulders in a friendly nudge before she took a swallow from her own beer. “Don’t worry about it.” She looked pointedly at the stern of the boat where Vanessa sat. “She’ll cool down eventually.”

To Liv, maybe. He was pretty certain he’d fucked up everything he’d been building with Vanessa. Holden grunted a noncommittal response.

“Why is she so mad at you?” Liv posed a good question. One he couldn’t answer.

“I thought she was mad at
you
,” he tossed back.

Her chuckle went a ways in easing the tightness that gripped his muscles. “She’s been frustrated with me my entire life.” Liv shrugged. “It keeps her on her toes.”

“So how do I get back in her good graces?”

“Stop talking to me for one.”

Holden frowned, but a small tip of her head had him glancing down the boat to catch the glare Vanessa leveled on them. One that was clear even behind the shield of her sunglasses. If looks could kill... But it was also a challenge. Another one he had to tackle in order to have her.

“Now that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?”

Liv’s head fell back, an open laugh ringing true. “Oh, you will be so good for her.”

He sat up, eyes narrowed. Thank God his own sunglasses hid his reaction. “What do you mean?” There was no way she knew about him and Vanessa. Did she? Did Liv know about her sister’s other life? The chills returned, perspiration flashing hot and cold on his skin.

Liv shook her head, a sly smile filling her face before she took a drink from her bottle. He had to wait, hands clenched around his own bottle, for her to answer. At long last, she gave a small shrug, her smile softening. “I don’t know. But I know V, and there’s something between you two that she doesn’t want the rest of us to know about.”

He forced down the urge to duck his head in guilt. “Why would you say that?”

Shit, it felt like he was constantly digging for answers about Vanessa from Liv. Would he ever understand the woman beyond the Mistress?

Liv glanced around then leaned closer, her voice lowered to a soft murmur over the purr of the motor and chatter of the other riders. “Vanessa doesn’t notice men. She usually doesn’t care about them that much. But she noticed you.”

“Is that why you invited me?”

Her smile was impish now. How could one person’s smile communicate so much? “Maybe.”

He gave her a playful shove. “Troublemaker.”

“Always.” She laughed, standing. She made small talk with others as she maneuvered her way to the back of the boat. A bleached blonde with features resembling the sisters cut off her discussion with the man on her other side and moved to another open seat without saying a word. Liv plopped down next to her sister, her patented smile in place.

Holden wanted to stare at the sisters to catch every nuance of their exchange, but he forced his gaze over the lake. The water was busy with other boaters, some towing skiers or tubes behind them, others coasting along like they were. Uncle Joe directed the newer-model boat toward the middle of the large lake, the pace fast enough to leave a wake behind them.

He chatted a bit with the people sitting around him, the conversation floating from the youth center to the weather to people he didn’t know. To his surprise, no one brought up the Glaciers or hockey, but then, Liv hadn’t shared that information when she’d introduced him and not everyone was a hockey fan.

His beer turned warm and the sun heated his chest and face from a cloudless sky. It was a perfect summer day meant to be spent exactly like this. If only Vanessa wasn’t furious with him. The prickly daggers pierced him across the span of the boat every time he looked at her.

Eventually, Uncle Joe piloted the boat into a small lagoon already dotted with a number of other boats. A few guys jumped up to help set the anchor as the boat slowed and the motor was cut.

A firecracker exploded in the distance, a round of cheers going up. People swam and splashed in the water, laughter filling the air along with calls of greeting between the boats. A few inner tubes were tossed into the water from where they’d been strapped to the small platform at the stern. It wasn’t long before bodies followed, the resulting splashes yanking squeals of protest from those still on board.

Holden set his sunglass next to his discarded T-shirt and dove in seconds later. The cool water surrounded him in a refreshing plunge that dropped his body temperature instantly. He surfaced, wiping the water from his face as he treaded water.

Around him, others swam and played, but Vanessa remained on the boat. Her head was turned his way and he swore she stared at him, or more precisely, glared.
Damn it.
Her displeasure was a physical ache that strangled his chest.

If he’d known how his presence would hurt her, he never would’ve come. Yeah, he’d guessed she’d be unhappy or annoyed, but he’d seriously underestimated the depth of her displeasure. It was pain he sensed. It might be blocked behind a wall of anger, but its root seemed to be based on hurt.

He turned away and struck out in a front crawl across the lagoon. The repetitive action leveled his emotions until there was only the water, the motion and the slow ache that grew in his muscles. He skirted around a group of swimmers, his breaths even and measured.

Vanessa—she wouldn’t leave his mind. Somehow, without his full consent, she’d become the center of his world. But he was better with her, or he could be. It was more than the dominance too.

And the closer he tried to get, the harder she pushed him away.

So he swam. He’d have to go back. The boat was his only ride. But for now, he gave her what she wanted the only way he could.

He gave her space.

Chapter Sixteen

She was being a bitch. A part of her acknowledged that, even as she struggled with the warring factions that ripped her open inside.

Exposed, that was how she felt, and she guarded that weakness with a cold shield that repelled even her strongest adversary. But her kryptonite was her sister.

Liv nudged her. Vanessa swayed with the motion, the tension loosening in her muscles with her sister’s persistence. But her gaze stayed on Holden as he swam away from the boat.

It was irrational, but she couldn’t take her eyes from him. The lagoon was protected, the water not exceedingly deep or filled with hidden currents, yet she worried. She didn’t want to. Didn’t understand why she did. He was healthy, strong and an obviously good swimmer.

But the responsibility that usually left her at the playroom door was sitting front and center in her chest. The weight stole her breath and pissed her off even more.

Why in the hell couldn’t he stay in the box she’d defined for him?

“You like him.”

The statement stabbed her. She contained her wince to a small pucker of her lips, but her sister must’ve caught it. Liv’s low hum soured her mood even more.

“He’s a nice guy,” Liv continued, the words solely for Vanessa. The others were either in the water or sitting around the front of the boat out of earshot of their conversation.

“Why did you invite him?” Vanessa yanked her gaze from Holden to glare at her sister before the need pulled her focus back to his retreating form. He was near the shore now. Would he know to watch out for the rocks hidden in the shallows?

Liv leaned into her, the warmth of her skin flowing into Vanessa in a connection that couldn’t be broken over a man. “He’s been helping at the center. Playing with the kids, donating sports equipment, pitching in where needed.”

“Why would he do that?” The question was mumbled, more of a curiosity spoken aloud than a real inquiry.

“Because he’s a good guy,” Liv answered.

A frown pulled on Vanessa’s forehead. What was he after? Was he sweetening up Liv to get to her? Just the thought of someone using her sister had Vanessa’s blood boiling. What threw her was the jealousy that simmered under the protectiveness.

“I warned him to leave you alone,” she grumbled, realizing her reaction was off base. Holden might be manipulative, but he wasn’t cruel.

Liv patted Vanessa’s leg. “Down, V. He’s made it clear that he has no interest in me or getting into my pants.”

“He’d better not,” she gritted out, annoyed at her inability to keep her anger hidden.

“V.” Liv sighed and curled herself into Vanessa’s side, her head coming to rest on Vanessa’s shoulder. “I invited him, so don’t take it out on Holden, okay? I like him. As a friend,” she quickly clarified. “He might surprise you if you let him.”

That was what terrified her. He’d already sneaked more bombs over her walls than any other man. What would happen if she didn’t shut him down?

He’d reached the shore now. His trunks clung to his hard thighs as he navigated the rocks and exposed tree limbs along the shoreline. Even at this distance, he was a specimen of athletic fitness. And he was hers—if she wanted him.

And she did. She just didn’t understand why.

He found a rock and sat, his arms wrapped around his bent knees. She couldn’t tell for certain where his gaze was focused, but her flesh tingled in awareness like it had done every time he’d glanced her way that day.

“I don’t like surprises,” she whispered.

“I know,” Liv soothed, her hand rubbing over Vanessa’s thigh. “But sometimes they turn out to be the best gifts.”

Sometimes though, they were the worst horrors. Liv knew that. But was Holden really either of those? Was she making too much out of nothing?

“Are you staying for the fireworks tonight?” Liv’s shift in conversation was well-timed, an art her sister had honed from years of defusing or heading off heated battles within their family.

Vanessa shook her head. “I hadn’t planned on it.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d watched fireworks unless they were at the opening or closing of a sporting event.

“Maybe you should.”

“I have to work tonight.”

“On what?” Liv shifted to stare at her, searching.

“Stuff.” Vanessa gave a dismissive shrug. “There are always fires to put out or set.” She silently cursed her slip. She was scheduled to work at The Den and that part of her life was strictly off-limits to everyone in her family.

“Right,” her sister finally said, the doubt clear.

“Let it go.” Vanessa was used to Liv’s nagging about the amount of time she spent working, only she didn’t want to hear it now. Not when her cellular world was imploding on her.

Liv patted her arm and uncurled from her spot. “I’m jumping in.” She motioned to the water as she slid her shorts down. “You coming in?” Vanessa shook her head, and Liv shrugged. “Your loss.” She jumped into the water, a cannonball-size splash spraying over Vanessa.

She laughed, amazed at her sister’s resilience. Despite the crap life had dealt Liv, she still managed to live it with a laugh.

Vanessa studied the man sitting on the rocks, pondering Liv’s parting words.
Your loss
. Was that true about more than just a swim? Was Holden worth it? She didn’t know, and that was the kicker. She wouldn’t know unless she opened herself up and took a risk.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. He wasn’t her friend and he wasn’t her enemy exactly. But he had the ability to destroy her on so many levels, which meant it was past time she controlled the situation and him. Containment was the first step in putting out a fire.

A smile lifted her lips, her plan forming. One Mr. Holden Hauke was about to get more than he bargained for, and she was more than willing to put that man back in the box where he belonged.

* * *

Holden heaved a sigh of relief when the pontoon finally pulled up to the dock. The afternoon hadn’t been all bad. Liv had integrated him into the group in the seamless way she had with everyone. A few hours of swimming, drinks, music and laughs had passed under Vanessa’s watchful eye.

Her glare had eased by the time he’d returned from his swim, but the icy repellent hadn’t cooled at all. He’d heeded the frost warning and stayed clear. A scene on the confined space of the boat wasn’t something either of them wanted.

Yet his frustration simmered and brewed with every second that passed. She might be his Mistress, but that didn’t give her the right to treat him like shit outside of the playroom. Maybe she thought it did, but that didn’t work for him. Per her rules, she wasn’t his Mistress here—she was Vanessa. And she was being a bitch.

Nothing new there, either.

He vaulted over the side of the boat and grabbed one of the lines, tying the boat to the dock. Silently, he counted out the seconds until he could politely leave.

“I think your nose is sunburned,” Liv teased when she exited the boat. He looked up, his smile fading when he met Vanessa’s eyes as she stepped onto the dock behind her sister.

“Yeah?” He forced a smile to Liv. “Probably. I don’t get a lot of sun inside an ice rink.”

“It looks good on you.”

Vanessa’s blatant eye roll was impossible to ignore, yet he refused to acknowledge it. “Thanks. You got some sun, too.” He pointed to Liv’s red shoulders. The entire conversation was pointless as they’d all been roasting in the sun for hours. It was filler and obvious and neither of them stopped it as the rest of the people filtered off the boat and down the dock. He reached over the boat rail and grabbed his T-shit, slipping it on. “I had a great time. Thanks.”

He squinted into the bright sun and glanced over the lawn filled with people. A game of bocce ball had replaced the volleyball tournament, and a large number of people held plates full of food. The grills produced a bounty of scents that reminded him of how little he’d eaten that day, yet food was the last thing he wanted.

“It’s time to eat,” Liv said, heading down the dock. “Let’s get it before it’s all gone.”

Holden waited for Vanessa to follow her sister, but she didn’t. Alone on the dock, her focus pinned him in place even behind her dark sunglasses until he finally looked away. “What, Vanessa?”

It was another moment filled with sounds of others enjoying the day before she answered. “Why’d you come here?”

He sighed, shaking his head in slow resignation. Her attack was exactly what he’d expected, yet he’d still hoped for more. “Because Liv invited me and it sounded like fun.” All true. He kept his eyes averted though in case the guilt showed.

“I’m sure you had more attractive invitations than this.” She stepped closer, the rigid set of her shoulders saying more than her cold tone. She shifted her sunglasses to rest them on top of her head. Like before, her casual appearance didn’t diminish her authority. Not with him.

He finally met her gaze to find a chill radiating from eyes that could hold the hottest passion he’d ever experienced. His hair was damp beneath his palm as he scrubbed a hand through it in a failed attempt to contain his frustration. Three hours of feeling like shit was more than enough, even if he had brought it upon himself.

He moved closer. She held her ground. God, he wanted to strangle her and kiss her and kneel before her all at once. “You set the rules, Vanessa. In your words, ‘I can fuck who I want.’ Right now, I’m just a guy enjoying the Fourth of July at the invitation of a friend. I have no interest in fucking your sister and I didn’t come here to bug you. But I get it.” He blew out a breath, his rant fading with his acceptance. “I crossed some line of yours I didn’t know existed. For that, I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yes,” he insisted, his jaw tight around the word.

Her eyes were narrowed to slits of doubt. “This is the second time you’ve tried to play me.”

His denial was right there, but he clamped it down. Lying to her would only dig his hole deeper. It hadn’t been completely intentional, but he’d come to the party, hoping to shake her. Too bad his plan had worked so well.

“I’m not one of your dumb bimbos happy to get a fuck from you.”

The urge to hang his head in shame was so strong he almost found himself doing just that. But he wasn’t a child being scolded by his mother. He’d take his reprimands head on, chin held high. “I know.”

“Manipulating me will never get you what you want.”

“Noted.” She was right, and there was nothing he could say in his defense. He’d pushed, and she’d smacked back. “I’m sorry.” He infused all the truth and emotion that churned within him into the simple apology. Hurting her hurt him more.

He stepped around her, more than ready to get the hell out of there. He’d certainly fucked up any chance he’d had with her, in any capacity. Why did he keep torturing himself?

“Holden.”

There it was.
Goddammit.
His feet stopped like they were controlled by her. It wasn’t what she said, but the tone that took hold of his psyche and flipped that submissive switch within him.

“I’m working The Den tonight. Be there at nine.”

Really?
His back was to her, his escape staring at him over the expanse of green lawn. His fingers dug into his hips until they cramped, but the pain didn’t compare to the memory of what she’d done to him. Of the possibilities that still existed with her.

A light breeze blew across his damp, heated skin to leave a trail of goose bumps down his back. He had no clue what she would do if he agreed to meet her tonight. Would she punish him? Scorn him? Or worse, ignore him completely?

No matter her intent, all of the options left him buzzing. Wanting.

His low croak of a response sounded weak in his ears, yet it shuddered through him with a resounding echo of relief. “Yes, Mistress.”