Book Lover, The (42 page)

“I’ve made peace with it, Colin, finally, after all these years, so let’s not talk about that.”

“I loved Dad, nothing will change that. Maybe he was like Thomas, a good man who made some bad choices. Maybe if he’d lived long enough he would have learned to appreciate what he had.”

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Thanks for saying that, honey. I think maybe you’re right.”

“And I’m not mad at you. Lucy knows where I am. If this is right, she’ll come back, no matter what you’ve done.”

Now Colin pushed himself through the store, which took a while because it was getting crowded, the counter and register hopping as browsers took advantage of the anniversary sale. She waited, and when he finally reached her he sat there a moment, unable to get up and hug her. So he took her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it.

“You’re an incredible woman, Mom.”

Dammit, she started to cry.

* * *

SOON THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT UP WORKING. She lost track of Lauren, looking up occasionally to see her interviewing a customer as Kris recommended particular reads, and Harry talked about his sci-fi expertise. She went back to the café to check on Hannah, who was thrilled to report she had more than twenty orders for Book Lover Gift Baskets, each of which included a hardcover book.

“Eddie called to tell me that it’s really hopping there. I guess advertising this during Applefest was a great idea. He knocked twenty percent off all his appliances and he’s moving a lot of inventory.”

“Did you tell him how well it’s going here?”

Hannah nodded and gave her a huge smile. “Believe it or not, he told me he’s proud of me.”

“Good. He should be.”

When Ruth had her hair done yesterday, she was prepared to say something to Dee about being a little too friendly with Eddie. But before she could, Dee began to gush about running into an old boyfriend she hadn’t seen in years, and they were now dating. So apparently whatever had gone on with Eddie was over.

“Oh my God, here comes Larry Porter,” Hannah whispered loudly.

Ruth turned to see Larry coming through the front door with a dozen red roses, which Kris stashed behind the counter.

“Okay, I’m going to clear this place out. I don’t want them to be part of the show.”

“Isn’t it romantic? Proposing to her here?”

“Do you know almost every Friday since they met they’ve come here before going out for dinner? I can’t tell you how many times they had to get take-out instead, because they bought too many books.”

The NPR crew went back to Elaine’s for a half hour, since she was open late for the festivities, and Ruth had the staff ring up the rest of the customers as quickly as possible, telling them they were closing for a short dinner break. Larry paced nervously and Ruth saw the square bulge of a ring box in his blazer pocket.

“She’s a lucky woman,” Ruth told him.

But he shook his head. “No, I’m the lucky guy.”

“She’s here!” Megan whispered, and as Larry nonchalantly walked back to the history section, the door opened and Angela came in, wearing a red coat and a long black skirt. She waved to them all, blissfully clueless, then headed back to the fiction section, stopping along the way to give Larry a kiss. A moment later, he glanced at Megan and nodded. She slipped his CD into the stereo, which normally played light classical music during store hours. Megan turned up the volume and Sam Cooke’s “You Send Me,” Larry and Angela’s favorite song, filled the store.

Ruth saw that none of her staff could look at each other, afraid they might smile, giving it away. Surprisingly, Thomas and Jenny were chatting quietly near the counter. She peeked over and saw Angela glancing around with a look of surprise, then turning to Larry, who pretended to be riveted to a huge volume of history. Angela went back to perusing a novel. Then Larry quietly came to the counter and got the red roses. A moment later he tapped Angela’s shoulder and they all heard her gasp. Now they all watched as he gave her the roses, and as she stood there holding them with a look of astonishment, he dropped to one knee.

“Oh my God,” Angela whispered, loud enough for them to hear.

“I thought it only fitting to ask right here where we had our first date, if you would do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Oh my God. Yes!” she said and burst into tears.

Ruth’s eyes filled, and she saw they were all smiling and laughing with tears in their eyes, even Thomas and Harry.

“We’ll never be rich,” Larry said, slipping the ring on her finger. “But we’ll have lots of books.”

Ruth suddenly noticed that Colin was missing. She turned, just as Larry and Angela began to kiss, and scanned the store, realizing in that moment that of course this would be difficult for him to watch. How thoughtless of her. She spotted him then, sitting in his wheelchair in the front corner opposite the door, and was relieved to see that he wasn’t watching Larry and Angela at all. He was staring out the big front window across the street, where a group of people were clustered in front of the municipal parking lot.

A moment later, they walked away and it was then that she noticed the small woman with the shoulder length hair, still standing there alone. Staring across at the store.

It was Lucy.

                            
50

I
T OCCURRED TO LUCY WHEN SHE’D READ RUTH’S E-MAIL, that she couldn’t possibly have scripted things more ironically in a work of fiction than they were unfolding in her life. Once again she imagined an editor saying, “This isn’t realistic. No one will believe it.” And yet, it was true.

The morning she opened her laptop to find Ruth’s letter, apologizing for telling her to leave, she’d been waiting for David to arrive. They were going to the cemetery to put flowers on Ben’s grave, where neither of them had been since the funeral. And then she was going to tell him her news.

It was bittersweet, reading Ruth’s words that Colin and Gloryanne weren’t planning a future, after all. That he was free and told her he loved Lucy. Because she was pregnant by David, something that felt at once wondrous, and cruel.

Maybe how you felt didn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things. Maybe some things simply were meant to be, as David had often insisted.

Now, as she stood across the street from The Book Lover, the afternoon sun was setting, hitting the front window with a golden glare so she couldn’t see what was going on inside. She’d watched the NPR crew leave a short while ago—which she imagined must have thrilled Ruth— and then a steady stream of customers. Lucy wondered if the store was closing early, which seemed silly given the throngs of people walking through town. Even the weather, mild for early November, seemed to have cooperated for this First Friday.

Despite Ruth’s e-mail, she hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to write back. Now she found herself glued to the sidewalk, despite her intention to cross the street and go into the store. She’d been standing there for nearly half an hour and was growing chilled. As she made up her mind to just do it and not think further, the door suddenly opened and Ruth came out. She stood in front of the store, folded her arms, and stared straight at her. Lucy’s stomach began to vibrate, her knees turning to Jello.

Ruth brushed her hair from her face, a familiar gesture Lucy had seen her make countless times, and then began to cross the street. Lucy nearly turned around because she was terrified, despite Ruth’s apology. Whatever Ruth may have done wrong, Lucy was still ashamed of her dishonesty. She needed to make it right.

A moment later Ruth was there, right in front of her. “Hello, Lucy.”

“Hi, Ruth.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

They stood there, looking at each other for a long moment, as Lucy’s heart thudded wildly. Then Ruth smiled and it reached her beautiful brown eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” She pulled Lucy into a warm embrace.

“Oh, Ruth.” Suddenly she was crying, then laughing because it reminded her of the first time they met, when she began to cry as Ruth pulled her into the bathroom. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“It’s water over the bridge. Or under the dam. I never could quite get that straight.”

They looked at each other and laughed.

“You remembered the anniversary. I’m so glad.”

But Lucy shook her head. “Actually I realized when I got here what was happening. With everything going on, I guess I forgot.”

“Well, let’s go inside, it’s too cold to stand out here,” she said, taking Lucy’s arm and leading her across the street.

“Is Colin there?”

Ruth stopped and looked at her. “Yes, he is.”

Lucy hesitated, not sure how this was going to unfold. But she had to. This was the real reason she’d come. “All right. Let’s go.”

She was so anxious as they walked in the store it felt as if her already thudding heart was now ricocheting off her rib cage. The little bell tinkled cheerfully, just as she remembered, and Megan, who she didn’t recognize at first, was the first person she saw and greeted her warmly.

“This is just perfect,” Megan said, though Lucy had no idea what she meant.

As her eyes scoured the store for Colin, and she said quick hellos to Harry and Kris, she noticed Ruth walking toward the back, then waving her over. She walked slowly past shelves of books and in the corner of the store opposite the new café, Colin sat with his back to her, a book on his lap. Ruth nodded, and Lucy walked toward him alone.

He looked up at her, unsurprised.

“Good book?” she asked, unable to hide the tremble of nerves in her voice.

He held it up. It was
The Good Soldier.
“Yes, but not an easy read.”

She nodded. He was still looking up at her and she knelt down then, so they were eye level. “I’m sorry I left without saying anything to you.”

“From what I understand, my mother asked you to.”

“That’s no excuse.” She hesitated. “I was ashamed. And confused.”

“I can imagine. Although I’m sure the choice between me and your husband was an easy one, after all,” he said, and gestured toward his lower half.

“Oh, Colin, it wasn’t that at all. When Ruth began telling me that what I was doing was selfish, that I was going to ruin your future, I…I never meant to hurt you.”

He looked at her, but didn’t say a word.

“I know I wasn’t legally free, but I felt emotionally free, and the other just seemed like… a minor technicality. Something I was planning to rectify as soon as David gave up.”

“It wasn’t a minor technicality to me,” he said, looking away, anger in his eyes now. She couldn’t blame him. “But it’s a moot point, Lucy, isn’t it?”

“I love you.”

He blinked, startled.

“And yes, now it is a moot point.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you love me?”

He tilted his head then, a gesture she loved, that meant he was thinking about something hard, all the while looking at her.

“Yes, I love you.”

She took a deep breath. “Enough to marry me?”

“Is this a joke?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” she said. “The reason it’s all a moot point is because I am free now, legally and emotionally. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He closed his eyes and sat there for a long moment without saying anything. She couldn’t even move. Then he took her hand, pulling her up and onto his lap, wrapping her in his arms and holding so tightly she could feel his heart, pounding as hard as her own.

“You should know what you’re getting into,” he whispered in her ear. “It’s not pretty sometimes.”

“I know,” she said, because she’d done weeks of research, finding out everything she could about what her future with a paraplegic man would entail. “I know exactly what I’m getting into.”

He squeezed her so hard, she squealed. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes,” he said.

Pulling back from him, she looked into those light blue eyes she loved. “Good, because we’re going to have a baby.”

His mouth opened, but no words came out.

“I’m pregnant. But I didn’t want that to influence your decision. I want you to marry me because you want to. Not because you have to, although that doesn’t really happen anymore, does it?”

“Shut up, Lucy,” he whispered, then kissed her long and hard.

She pulled away again. “There’s something else I need to tell you. That I probably wouldn’t have before but…I can’t be afraid of the truth anymore. And this is the truth, Colin. I slept with David when I went back for the divorce. It was nothing more than a goodbye, something that happened in the heat of so much emotion. But I knew in an instant it was wrong, and I felt as if I’d betrayed you.”

He said nothing at first, and she waited.

“How do you know it’s not his child?”

She got up from his lap, then knelt again so they were at eye level. “I did think it was his at first, because I wasn’t sure it was even possible with…your injuries. David came up and we went to the cemetery for our son’s anniversary and when we left, we sat in my car and I told him that he was going to be a father again. He looked at me, not shocked, as I’d expected, but bewildered. What he told me next shocked
me
—that after Ben died, he’d had a vasectomy, because he was unwilling to take a chance on another pregnancy, no matter how unlikely it was. As horrible as that felt, I insisted that a vasectomy could fail, I’d read about it. But no, with further embarrassment he told me he was going to start dating, and he’d gotten tested recently, just to be sure.”

Still Colin said nothing, just staring at her.

“I sat in my car reeling, as it slowly dawned on me that this baby is yours, Colin. Which is truly a miracle. I came to the store today straight from the airport. My divorce was finalized yesterday.”

He let out a long sigh. “Thank you for telling me all that. I know you didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did. I’ll never be anything but up front with you, I promise.”

He pulled her onto his lap again, his eyes never leaving hers. “Where do you want to live?”

“With you, at the lake, of course.”

“It’s not exactly the lap of luxury.”

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. And so are you.”

He sat there and put a palm on her abdomen, looking at her in wonder. “In my wildest dreams I never thought something like this could happen.”

“Me either.” She buried her face in his neck as he held her, breathing him in.

Suddenly there was a commotion at the front of the store. She stood up and followed Colin there to find that the NPR crew was back and Megan was talking animatedly to a woman with a microphone.

“Would you mind if I interviewed you for a few moments?” the woman, who Megan introduced as Lauren, asked Lucy then. She looked at Colin and he nodded, wheeling himself to the side.

“No, not at all,” she said, “as long as we can have everyone’s attention.”

But Ruth was already there, apparently waiting for her and Colin to emerge from the back. Within seconds the rest of them gathered around and she saw Thomas take Ruth’s hand.

“I’m talking now to Lucinda Barrett, the author of
A Quiet Wanting,
a self-published novel that’s become The Book Lover’s top selling paperback this year,” Lauren began. “Were you surprised, Lucinda, when they told you how well your book was doing?”

“Yes… and no,” she said, not nervous but trembling with excitement because it seemed she’d been waiting her whole life for this moment. “I mean, I believed in the book enough to publish it myself when I got nothing but rejections. But the extent to which Ruth and her staff here got behind my novel was amazing to me, and touching. It gave me the courage to reach out to other booksellers and really build an audience, which was my goal.”

“So what’s next for you?”

“Well, I’m actually here to collect my books. I won’t be selling my self-published novel here anymore. Or in any other stores for that matter.”

She saw the frown on Ruth’s face just as Lauren asked, “You’re not giving up then, are you?”

“Oh no, quite the opposite. I’ve got a major book deal now with a top New York publisher.
A Quiet Wanting
is going to be published in hardcover next summer. And the novel I’m nearly finished with,
Confessions of a Poet,
will be published the following summer.”

She couldn’t help laughing as she watched Ruth’s hands covering her mouth, shaking her head as if she couldn’t believe it.

“You know, all along I wanted validation from the publishing industry, that my book was good enough. But I really had it all along, thanks to Ruth, and everyone here at The Book Lover.”

“After a harrowing year and nearly closing shop, I’d call this a perfect ending for The Book Lover’s 150th Anniversary,” Lauren concluded, then switched off her microphone and turned to thank Lucy, but she was already running over to Ruth.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she whispered, pulling her into a tight hug. “You’ve been like a mother to me.”

And now she really would be.

“There’s just one more thing,” Megan announced loudly, and they all turned to her in surprise. “As you all know, Ruth’s essay won the Independent Booksellers contest for ‘Why I’m a Bookseller.’ I asked Lauren if I could read it now to close her program, because I think that’ll be the perfect ending.”