Book of Life (3 page)

Emily nodded again.

For the last two weeks she had been taking this the only way I figured she knew how, by shutting herself away from the world. She was hiding now as she had hid her abilities to hear thoughts all her life. I couldn’t imagine how excruciatingly truthful it was hearing all those same thoughts now, especially with the speculating I assumed was happening amongst the crowd downstairs. I knew if I were her, it would be really hard to stay sane, and that’s what scared me. The last thing I wanted was for Emily to dive into another tail spin of drugs just to forget it all. I’d attached myself to her side every moment for the last two weeks. Not hard to do when her mother was encouraging me. I guess she didn’t see the harm in it, and she was right. Emily was going to need constant support.

Emily slipped out of her room and stood before us, looking so frail. She was wearing a dark blue cotton dress but no shoes. Looking at her feet, she had one foot crossed over the other, toenail polish chipped as I’m sure it was the last of her worries. Her skin was white and her posture tired.

Despite Max’s promise to bring Jane back, I knew it had given Emily little comfort. It hadn’t done much to lift her mood. She never trusted Max much, if at all. She was happier to assume the worst than hope for the best, only to be crushed later when his promise didn’t come true. I had no choice but to be optimistic, even if in my heart I wasn’t. Emily didn’t need me being as negative as she was right now.

Lacy put her arm around Emily’s shoulders. “You’re going to be alright.”

I gave Lacy a look. Emily hated to hear that.

Emily looked at me with eyes that said she was okay with Lacy’s attempt at niceties. She was crunched under Lacy’s grip, but somehow she seemed to like it there. I was amazed.

I heard a creak on the stairs behind us. Emily’s gaze wandered past me, her pupils dilating. I turned, only to feel jealousy as I saw Jake standing at the bottom of the stairs. He was staring at Emily in a way that caused my teeth to grind together. From around the corner, as though it couldn’t get worse, Max arrived at his side. I saw Emily’s demeanor change to one of bitterness. She wouldn’t admit it, but I knew she was just as angry with Max as I was.

Max whispered something to Jake and Jake walked away, leaving Max waiting for us.

“Come on, Emily.” I took her hand and salvaged her from Lacy’s grip. I led her down the stairs toward Max.

Max’s eyes had changed considerably over the past few weeks, slowly draining of what little human life was left. Each day he appeared less and less alive to me, and more and more drone-like. He had buried himself in the task of fixing what had happened. In a way I had liked being near him at first—he’d had a sense of Jane still about him, but today, all that was gone. He was a stranger to me if not for the familiar outline of his stone-like face.

He nodded as we landed on the bottom floor, ushering us toward the living room as Lacy joined Max behind us. She whispered something to him but I missed what it was. Emily flashed me a look, knowing what Lacy said in ways I couldn’t. I just squeezed Emily’s hand more tightly, not sure what Lacy said but sensing enough from Emily’s annoyed scent that she was notifying Max about Emily’s ever changing mood.

The living room was a blur of familiar faces from school, friends from town, and clouds of human scent. I had learned to sniff out who was human and who wasn’t as my animal instincts continued to magnify with each passing minute—a pubescent state I was hoping would peak and subside soon. I smiled and tried to be polite, but in my mind I was making mental lists.

Mrs. Baker, the English teacher—
human.

Mrs. Tuel, the librarian—
not human,
but we knew that already, in one way or another.

It took only seconds for me to categorize them, and often they would appear to be categorizing me as well. Magickal beings addressed me in a knowing manor, a bow or wink, implying they knew what I was in return. I guess I’d never looked at people as closely as I do now. Understanding the secret way about our community made me wonder how I never saw it before. For the most part humans maintained a highly ignorant bearing, passing through life with no idea of those that protect them. I saw why the priory took on this task. Humans were blissfully unaware of the world like a pet, living out their lives with little distress beyond making money to survive. Making money to survive was just the tip of the iceberg for us—life had suddenly lost a lot of its freedom.

Emily was swept away from me by a couple of old ladies. I was left standing against the wall with my hands in my pockets. To my dismay, Jake joined me.

“Max hasn’t found Avery.” He informed me, speaking low. He hid in my shadow to maintain his energy. Knowing he was a vampire made me notice how he’d always done this. It’s not that daylight hurt him, it just drained him of energy and made him annoyingly groggy. Preserving the energy he had admittedly made him more pleasant to be around, so to me I didn’t always mind his awkward nearness—other than the fact I disliked him.

“He’s not going to find her,” I reminded. “If she was easier to find, I’m sure he would have done it two weeks ago.”

Jake snorted. “Doubt that. What I understand is that Max didn’t know any of this was going to happen. I’m still trying to decide if I believe that or not. Either way, I would have thought the priory would keep him better informed.”

“That’s a joke,” I laughed low. “I think it’s all a conspiracy. There’s some manipulation of the truth going on, that’s for sure.”

Jake laughed sarcastically. “Still, I’m not surprised Max hadn’t tried to find Avery before all this. I mean, to him she was just an ex-girlfriend. You don’t typically suspect your ex to come back with the type of vengeance Avery did.”

My brow rose. “Are you sure about that? Seems pretty predictable to me. That stuff happens all the time.” But still, I had to agree with him a little. I let him know that with my open thoughts. It wasn’t Max’s job to keep tabs on his ex like Jake suggested. If I had to keep tabs on every girl I’d ever kissed, the job would be insurmountable.

Jake laughed. “You don’t have that many ex-girlfriends, Romeo.”

Allowing Jake a moment to roam my head sent a chill down my spine—he wasn’t shy about it. I growled at him before pushing him out and shutting off my thoughts.

With him out of my head, I thought more deeply. I didn’t like to admit to myself that I’d ever agree with Jake, but it was inevitable from time to time. My reasons for disliking him were obvious. I knew enough from the events a few weeks ago that Jake had a thing—correction—a
huge
thing for Emily. I wasn’t okay with the fact that he had been spending his nights watching her sleep from the chair in the corner of her room. I was still angry that I hadn’t caught onto that. How was it he could be so invisible to me? It only made me worry about what he was hiding now because I knew he was hiding something, he had to be.

Comparing myself with Jake, Jake seemed the better man, at least on paper. Perhaps I was being hard on myself. I wasn’t necessarily a good judge of who was going to best for Emily in the long run, I just hoped it was me. The one certainty I could count on was the fact that Jake would legally never be allowed to be with Emily. As a vampire, he was forbidden. His kind was a life saver in that respect—their leaders forbade outside unions for fear of spreading the fever further than necessary.

Still, I couldn’t trust that Jake wasn’t the type that would break the rules for love—especially when it was for Emily. I let this last thought out so he could hear it.

Jake shrugged, hearing it as I hoped he would.

I wasn’t ashamed of that.

“I promise I’m going to stay away from her, Wes. I told you that.”

I laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, but it’s not necessarily you I’m worried about.” I looked across the room at Emily who was nodding at whatever the old ladies were telling her. “I know her enough to understand how unstable she is.” I looked Jake in the eyes again, eyes obscured behind his anti-reflective glasses in order to hide the nocturnal nature of his metallic gaze. “Just promise me, if you can, right here and now that you’ll deny her if she ever . . .” I allowed my voice to trail. He knew what I meant.

Jake nodded. “I promise not to give in. It’ll be hard. I won’t lie.”

I glared at him.

Jake looked amused. “But I won’t give in.”

And I had to believe him. If there was one thing I’d learned about vampires over the past few weeks it was the fact that they were brutally, almost compulsively honest. Perhaps it was the fever, but they could not be bothered to lie. However, they were experts at avoiding the truth in such a way that would never classify as a lie, too. You just had to know how to tell the difference, and watch for the loopholes in a promise.

“
I know enough about Emily to watch for the signs, Wes. Besides, I’m afraid of what Max would do to me, not to mention what my own kind would do to me—they don’t like me much as it is.” His eyes behind his glasses got big. “They don’t like that I choose to attend a human high school, therefore denying my real race.”

Max approached from the other room. “I’m headed out.”

“Did you get a lead?” I could see the urgency in his eyes, one of the only emotions I still could see from him anymore. Everything was urgent now, it seemed.

He’d already turned to leave, but paused and looked over his shoulder. “Not on Avery, but my brother. I’ve been waiting to feel something from his end. It’s complicated. I’ll keep you posted.”

I felt a rush of anticipation trickle down my spine. “Let me know if I can help.”

“Me too,” Jake added with determination.

I glared at Jake, angry that he’d copied my declaration of assistance. “There’s no need for you to do this on your own, Max,” I added. “Besides, we work well as a team.” I looked for some flicker of gratitude behind Max’s dark eyes, but none came.

“I’ll keep you posted,” he repeated, turning away from us as he left the room.

I shook my head. “He’s stubborn.”

Jake snorted. “You think? No wonder Jane loved him so much. She was stubborn, too. At least for as much as I knew her.”

I grumbled.

Jake snorted again. “Why do you even care anymore? Here you’re telling me to stay away from Emily when clearly you still pine over Jane, at least a little.”

“No,” I denied. “I don’t. She’s been my friend for a long time. It’s more of a protective instinct—a brotherly instinct.”

Jake’s smirk didn’t fade. “I don’t think considering Jane as a sister is smart given your intimate past. Kinda disturbing, really.”

“Shut up, Jake.” I pushed away from the wall as I saw the old ladies leave Emily’s side, giving me the excuse to re-join her. I could handle Jake in small bouts, but that was it.

I walked across the room and touched Emily’s elbow, her back to me. She startled, turning fast, only to smile when she saw my face. It was moments like this that made me feel secure in our relationship. I leaned forward and kissed her brow, her hands grasping my shirt in a way that told me she needed me, needed my support. I liked being needed. Jane had never needed me; she was too independent and self-assured. Jane had never had a doubt—at least she’d never share it if she did.

“I feel bad for Max.” Emily looked in the direction he had gone. “I know he hides a lot, but every now and then I get a glimpse of his mind when he thinks no one is looking.”

Here she was, feeling sorry for Max when it was her sister that was gone. I couldn’t believe her compassion.

“He really is an angel, Wes.” She looked me in the eye. “It’s amazing some of the things I see. I wish you could see it too. It gives me a little peace when it comes to Jane, knowing wherever she is is beautiful.”

“You’ve seen her in his mind?”

She nodded big. “When he lets me. I think he does it on purpose. It’s not like he comes to me and says, ‘hey, check this out.’ But somehow he’s always opening his thoughts just when I need it. I know you still loved Jane in your own way, Wes, but Max and Jane were the real thing.”

I wanted to ask her if she thought we were the real thing, but I refrained. I guess I didn’t want to see her reaction or sense any hint of possible doubt, should there be any. I wasn’t prepared to face what I feared was the truth anyway—we weren’t meant to last.

Another group of neighbors approached us, both human and both looking quite distraught. I stood by for support, but my mind still wandered. If Emily and I weren’t meant to last, then who was truly meant for me? It was a dark thought as my love for Emily was still ripe, but a thought I had to think in order to protect myself. My heart had been bitterly damaged by Jane’s rejection and it taught me to never get too comfortable, but—I wanted to be comfortable. I wanted easy. I wanted true love.

STELLA:

I stepped into the shower, quickly washing my earthly body. This body was attached to me, that was for sure, but it still didn’t feel like mine. I washed my hair with the only bottle of soap there was. Suds ran down my face and I rinsed them away. I stood under the stream for a while and dug the dirt out from under my nails. My thoughts ran. I’d observed enough about the culture I was about to enter to know what it meant to fit in, but I didn’t know everything. Being unable to talk was going to pose a problem, but hopefully I would be able to learn as I went along. I’d tried on my own but it hadn’t been easy. I couldn’t make my soft, human mouth form correctly. The only sentence I was able to say was, ‘who am I?’