Boone's Cowboy [Rescue for Hire 8] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic ManLove) (5 page)

Shane’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach, which rebelled and started rolling and cramping. He concentrated on taking deep, calming breaths so he didn’t
hurl
.

“Where is it, honey?” he asked.

“Right below my nipple.” Tony’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Now Shane was confused. He used his fingers and tongue regularly on most of Tony’s body, especially his nipples. That’s why he had Tony’s nipple pierced right after they’d made their commitment to each other. Shane loved playing with them.

In one
motion,
Shane slid Tony off his lap and onto the sofa, laying him down on his back. Roughly he shoved up Tony’s shirt. He used his fingertips to skim over Tony’s breast with the ring in it.

“It’s the other one,” Tony said, his face a sea of misery.

Shane switched to the other side. Again, he skimmed his fingers over Tony’s
pec
. There, about an inch below Tony’s right nipple, Shane found a hard pea-sized lump. Tony’s hand came down on top of his.

“My mom had breast cancer, and so did my aunt. My grandmother died from it.” Tony’s voice
broke,
and he cleared it before saying, “It happens to the men in my family, too, Shane. My cousin Micah is going through chemo right now.”

Shane sat there next to Tony, trying to think through the thick cloud of numbing shock. Out of nowhere a well of raging terror rose up and blanketed his sight in red. Standing up, Shane walked out the front door.

An hour later, Shane found himself taking shaky steps through his brother’s front door. Cade’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say anything as Shane, still in his black rescue uniform, plopped down into the chair in front of Cade’s desk. Sweat poured off of him as he tried to catch his breath. Shane had run blindly through the countryside, trying to outrun the demons chasing him. When he became aware of his surroundings through the mix of swirling thoughts racing through his mind, Shane stood in his brother’s front yard.

Cade sat back in his chair, causing it to creak. Shane knew his brother would wait hours if necessary until Shane was ready to talk about what was bothering him.

Shane’s gaze met Cade’s deep blue eyes.

“Tony found a lump,” Shane blurted out.

Cade hesitated and then calmly asked, “Where?”

Cade’s cool demeanor didn’t fool Shane. His brother’s brain was going a mile a
minute,
and a vein throbbed under the thin skin of his temple.

Shane couldn’t force the words out past the tightness squeezing his throat shut, so he pointed to his right pec.

“Does he have a doctor’s appointment?” Cade asked.

“I don’t know. I felt like I
’d been blindsided
and had to get out of there. I didn’t stop running until I walked in here,” Shane admitted.

Cade surged to his feet. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he exploded. “Tony told you something that important and frightening, and you walked out on him?”

Shit. When Cade put it that way, Shane realized how badly he’d screwed up. He’d lurched to his feet, intending to go back to Tony, when the sound of spraying gravel reached his ears. Shane had no doubt who drove that vehicle. Tony was an expert using
cell phones
to track people down with his high-powered computer. Shane braced himself for Tony’s hot Italian temper.

Shane heard a truck door
slam,
and pounding footsteps
climbed up
the wooden front steps and crossed the porch. Cade’s front door slammed
open,
and Tony burst into the office.

“You son of a bitch,” Tony shouted. “I needed your support, your strength, and what did you do? You walked out on me!”

Tony stalked over to Shane and jabbed a finger in the middle of his chest. With every word he spoke, Tony jammed that finger deep enough to cause bruises. “You are an asshole. How could you leave me when I needed you?”

“I’m sorry,” Shane said.

Tony turned away and started walking out the door. Shane grabbed the pissed-off, hurting man and lifted him off his feet.

“Put me down. As far as I
’m concerned,
you can stay here with Cade.” Tony struggled, trying to get Shane to let him go.

“Knock it off, you two,” Cade snapped.

Tony froze. Shane took advantage and set Tony back on his feet. He turned Tony to face him and wrapped his arms tightly around his lover. Tony stood there a moment before leaning his forehead against Shane’s chest.

“I don’t think I can do this alone,” Tony admitted.

“You won’t be. I’ll never leave your side,” Shane promised.

Tony lifted his head and looked deeply into Shane’s eyes. “But you did leave me.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I needed to wrap my mind around everything.”

“Tony,” Cade interrupted. “Have you seen a doctor?”

Tony dropped his gaze from Shane to the floor. “No. I wanted to see if it went away.”

“How long ago did you find this lump?” Shane asked.

“A month ago,” Tony mumbled.

“What?” Shane shouted. “How could I have missed something like that for a whole month?”

Tony looked up at Shane. “That cold I had lasted over a week.
The next week we went up north to attended those rock climbing and maneuvering training classes.
And you are fascinated with my nipple ring. The lump is on the other side.”

“Yes, this is Cade Miller. I need to set up an appointment immediately for one of my employees.”

Shane looked over at his brother, who held a phone to his ear.

“An emergency? Yes, I would say so,” Cade said. “He has a lump in his breast.”

A tug on his shirt had Shane looking down. A terrified look covered Tony’s
face,
and Shane expected to hear the sound of material ripping under
Tony’s nervous fingers
.

Shane kissed Tony’s cheek. “It’s going to be okay. I love you.”

“You can’t promise that it’s going to be okay, Shane. I’ve seen what horror a little lump like this can do,” Tony whispered.

“Nine o’clock tomorrow morning? Great, he’ll be there,” Cade said.

Cade ended the call. His thick eyebrows drew together over steely deep-blue eyes. “You have an appointment with Dr. Galen at the clinic. They said you
needed
to be prepared to spend a couple of hours there if the doctor decides to run tests.”

Flynn Wakefield studied the blueprints for Cade Miller’s addition. The new master bedroom suite Cade and Bret wanted him to build on to their log home was quite elaborate. They also wanted him to remodel the existing master bedroom into a nursery and an extra bedroom.

The couple had contacted Flynn months ago about this project. Their log home already had been approved for them to receive their foster care license. But they’d decided they wanted to change a few things.

Flynn warned them that it would take some time before the logs matching their home would be dried and cured so that he could use them. Early this morning Flynn had received the phone call informing him the shipment was ready. He immediately scheduled delivery of the logs for tomorrow morning.

For Flynn, this
worked out great. Last week he’d poured the basement’s concrete footings and walls. Tomorrow he would supervise the unloading of the logs from the
semitrailer
. After that, Flynn would put in a call
to
some men who usually helped him when he took on a construction job, and they would fit the logs together to build the walls of the
addition
.

An image of sweat-coated skin glistening in the moonlight invaded Flynn’s mind. His fingertips tingled at the memory of that silky smooth skin. Flynn wondered when a certain pretty baby was going to contact him. He mentally shook his head. The kid probably came to his senses and figured out Flynn was too old. Even if it were true, it kind of sucked.

* * * *

Doctor Victor Bronson moved his fingertips in small circles over Tony’s left pec. He took a lot of time going
over
the inside of his underarm. Tony felt naked without his nipple ring, but the technicians had made him take it out when they performed the ultrasound and MRI on him the day before.

Doctor Galen hadn’t wasted any time ordering those tests, along with drawing a million tubes of blood during his appointment yesterday. By the time Shane ushered him into the house late in the
afternoon,
Tony had been physically and emotionally exhausted. Of course being exhausted didn’t mean he’d gotten a wink of sleep last night. Even lying under Shane’s big body couldn’t stop the worry eating at him.

Today, Tony was in the care of Doctor Bronson. It terrified him that Galen had made an appointment for Tony to see an oncologist right away the next day.

The doctor moved to Tony’s other side and started the process of examining that
pec
. Tony’s wasn’t surprised that he spent quite a while on the lump before moving to his underarm.

“So what do you think, Doc?” Tony asked. Part of him wanted to jump up and disappear where no one could find him.

The doctor stepped away from the table and sat down on a small rolling stool. While Tony sat up, the doctor studied Tony’s folder. Tony looked at Shane helplessly. The big man sitting in the corner stood and went to Tony’s side.

Fingers linked through Tony’s. Never before had Tony been so grateful for the
solid,
stable rock that was his Shane.

“After reviewing all the results from your tests yesterday and considering your family history, I’d like to schedule a biopsy.” The doctor’s light-blue eyes never wavered as they gazed at Tony. “Your insurance will allow me to send the samples I collect right to the lab. If they are
malignant,
I can immediately perform the surgery we’ve agreed on beforehand.”

“Samples?”

“Yes. I would take samples from the lump and surrounding tissue. I would also take samples from your lymph nodes,” the doctor explained.

“Then what?” Tony asked.

“If there is no sign of malignancy, I would take the lump out and some of the surrounding tissue. You should be able to go home the same day,” the doctor informed him.

“And if it’s malignant?” Tony tightened his hold on Shane’s hand.

“That depends on the stage of the cancer and what you want to do, Tony.”

“What are my options?” Tony asked the
question
but dreaded the answer.

“Lumpectomy, modified radical mastectomy, or radical mastectomy,” the doctor stated.

Tony couldn’t speak through the emotions churning through him. Flashes of his cousin Micah’s concaved, scared chest blinked like a projector through his mind.

“I know a lumpectomy takes out a portion of the breast,” Shane said. “But what is a modified radical mastectomy?”

The doctor pulled out a flyer from a clear plastic file holder attached to the wall. Opening it, he pointed to a picture showing a breast with pink shading covering it and extending over a portion of the underarm. Running his finger over the edge of the shading, the doctor said, “If the malignancy is in the early stages, we remove the skin, breast tissue,
areola,
and nipple. We also remove the lymph nodes under the arm and lining over the pectoralis. The nice thing about the surgery is that it spares the major pectoralis muscle
itself,
and you won’t have that concave look.”

“How is that different from a radical mastectomy?” Shane asked.

“With the radical mastectomy, we take everything, including both pectoralis muscles
,” the doctor answered.

Tony swallowed and cleared his throat. “Then what?” he managed to choke out.

Doctor Bronson looked at Tony with a kind yet steady expression “If the cancer is in stage one or two, after the surgery you will undergo a few weeks of radiation. If it has progressed to stage three or four, you will have the radiation followed by chemotherapy.”

Shane’s quiet, quick intake of a breath threatened Tony’s tiny thread of control. He tried to keep his breathing even so the gray spots forming in front of his eyes were kept at bay.

“What about the chemo pill?” he asked. That had been an option for his mother.

“At your age, Tony, and given your family’s history, I wouldn’t recommend the pill.”

Shane had a few more questions, which the doctor answered patiently. By then thick numbness had invaded Tony’s soul and he was forcing himself to function through the debilitating shock. Just when he thought this part of the nightmare over, the doctor dropped another bomb.

“Tony, other people with a similar family history sometimes choose to have both breasts removed to prevent any reoccurrence of breast cancer. I’m not saying that I recommend it in your case. But it is an option.”

A half hour later Tony was seated in truck, staring out the window. Tony had faced death many times over the years with Rescue for Hire, but nothing had ever scared him more than watching members of his family, one by one, succumb to cancer. Everyone had a secret fear that terrified them down to their very core. In that room, sitting in front of Doctor Bronson, Tony’s fear had been spelled out.