Born of Legend (44 page)

Not until Kirill and his crew had torn the Tavali patches from his sleeves and thrown him to the Ladorian slavers.

“Isn't he one of your crew?”

“Nah, he ain't shit to us. We're just hoping to get some free entertainment out of him before we go. It's all he's worth.”

“Jullien?” Ushara's voice cut through his memories. But all that did was hurt even more.…

Ushara tried again to pull Jullien away from wherever his thoughts were taking him.

A single tear fell down his cheek.

“Oh baby.” Her heart lurching, she kissed it away and wished she knew what to do.

Finishing his bath, she dried him off and took him to bed. There she snuggled beside him and held him as best she could.

“I'm right here, Jules. Whenever you're ready to talk or not talk, or whatever you need.” She wrapped her body around his, and listened to his ragged breathing. For the longest time, she thought she was wasting her efforts.

Until she felt him wrap his arms around her body. A few minutes later, he finally fell asleep while holding onto her like she was his lifeline.

*   *   *

“How's he doing?”

Ushara shook her head as she opened the front door and allowed Oxana to enter with Vas and Nadya. “He still hasn't spoken.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Is Basha Dagger sick, Mama?” Nadya frowned up at them.

“He is,
mia
.”

She pursed her lips. “We made him a card.” She tugged at Vasili's sleeve. “Show your mama what we did for your paka so … so that he'd feel better.”

Vas handed Ushara a piece of paper. “It's what her and her sisters did yesterday while we waited for you to come back.”

Ushara smiled at the pictures of Jullien with them at temple. “Why don't you two go give it to him while I finish making breakfast?”

“Okay.” Vasili took Nadya to the bedroom.

Ushara led Oxana to the kitchen where she'd left everything cooking. “Thank you for picking up Vas. I don't know what I would have done to Paka had I seen him this morning.”

“Yeah, it was bad. Basha Klavdii was there and he was furious about what Jullien did to Kirill's ship. He was demanding Paka do something.”

Ushara curled her lip. “Like what?”

“No idea. But it's nuclear.”

“Bring it with both hands. As much as he might want a piece of my Jules, I want a piece of Kirill's jewels. And I assure you, I will get my way first.”

“I know you will, sister. I know you will.”

*   *   *

Jullien opened his eyes to find a small, happy face surrounded by white blond curls, peering at him over the mattress.

“Nadya, stop!” Vas whispered loudly. “He's still sleeping. Just leave it by the bed and let's go before you wake him.”

Giggling as she pulled the mattress down with her little hand, she smiled even wider. “He's not sleeping. His eyes are open. You're awake, aren't you, Basha Dagger?”

Jullien wasn't sure what to say as he stared into a pair of innocent white eyes that studied him curiously.

Cocking her head, she gave him an adorable scowl. “Why you so sad, Basha Dagger? You're home! We missed you so much! We were sad while you were gone and then Mama said you were back and we've been so happy that you were home again.” She shoved a piece of paper in his face. “We made this for you to say how much we love you. Well … me and my sissies drew the pictures and Vasi wroted the words 'cause we can't writed yet. But we did the pictures. See the pictures?” She climbed up on the bed to sit on her knees next to him.

His eyes teared up as he saw the images of her with him in temple, sitting beside Vasili and the rest of her family. Pushing himself up in the bed, he forced himself to smile at her. “It's beautiful, Tara Nadya. Thank you.”

Smiling, she threw herself against his chest and hugged him. “Love you, Basha Dagger!”

He looked up and met Vasili's gaze.

Tears were flowing down his cheeks, too. “When Davel came back and wouldn't say anything … I-I thought you were dead. That I'd never see you again.”

Jullien held his hand out to Vasili. “I wouldn't do that to you,
mi tana
.”

Vasili tackled him with a hug. “Don't ever die.”

Closing his eyes, Jullien held them.

Ushara froze in the doorway as she saw Jullien and the children locked in a tight embrace.

He opened his eyes as if sensing her presence. If she lived a thousand years, she'd never forget the haunted pain in their red depths.

She moved to set her tray on the nightstand before she neared them. “Are they bothering you?”

He shook his head. “Not at all.” He kissed Nadya's head, then Vasili's. Clearing his throat, he picked up the picture. “Where should we put this beautiful work of art, Naddimaer?”

She giggled at his nickname for her. “Where can we put it, Lyr Shara?”

“How about on the mirror so that Basha Dagger can see it every day?”

“Okay!” Excitedly, she scooted off the bed and ran to hang it at a crooked angle from the mirror with Vasili's help.

“I have sweetcakes ready in the kitchen for both of you, if you're hungry.”

Balling her fists with her excitement, Nadya squealed and ran for the door, then double backed to hug and kiss Jullien. “I'll bring you some, Basha!”

Vasili hesitated at the foot of the bed with a troubled frown.

“What's wrong, baby?” Ushara asked.

“Jex said last night that even if you succeeded in bringing Jullien home that our graspa and yaya weren't going to allow him to stay. That his paka and the rest of the clan would block his citizenship. He said they were going to force you to make Jullien leave.”

She gave him a chiding stare. “No one makes me do anything I don't want to do. Haven't you learned that yet?”

“But if they won't vote him in…”

“Jullien is my husband and your father. They can't do anything about that. It's already done. As for blocking, they wish. I'm about to bust their Canting and suspend
their
citizenship. None of them will have a vote, one way or another. That's what they need to be worried about, instead of his.”

Vas's eyes widened. “Do they know that?”

She shook her head. “And don't tell them. The trial will be tomorrow. I'll render my verdict to them then.”

He turned back to Jullien. “So then you're staying? Right? You're not leaving us?”

Jullien looked at Ushara. “Your mother and the gods are the only ones who have the ability to keep me from you.… And I'm not so sure about the gods.”

Vasili sniffed back his tears before he followed after Nadya. “You better save some for me, Naddi!”

Alone with Jullien, Ushara approached him slowly, unsure of his mood. She smoothed his furrowed brow and sat beside him on the mattress. “How are you feeling?”

“Lost.”

She took his hand and cradled it between hers. “You're not lost. You're home where you belong.”

Jullien trembled as those words sank in and warmed the coldest part of his soul.

Ushara reached to the table and picked up a mug of the hot cider he liked. He didn't know how she remembered that. But she did.

“Thank you.” He sipped it and noted the time. “Aren't you late for work?”

“I took the day off.”

“Why?”

Smiling gently, she traced circles around his chest. “I wanted to be with you.”

“I don't understand.”

She looked at him with that same stunned expression she wore any time he said something that was ludicrous in her world and yet normal for his. God, to have grown up in her environment.

“The last thing you need right now is to be alone. I stayed home to take care of you. Hasn't anyone ever done that for you before?”

He shook his head.

“Not even when you were sick as a boy?”

Again, he wished he'd been able to live the life she took for granted. But such things had never been known to him. “No, Shara. I was always quarantined to keep from making anyone else ill.”

Ushara arched a brow at his choice of words. Surely, he didn't mean … “Quarantined?”

“I'm a hybrid species. They were terrified I'd contract something harmless, mutate it into a deadly form, and cause it to become unresponsive to treatment for others, both human and Andarion. So whenever I was ill, I was moved into a sterile environment until the doctors determined I was no longer a biological hazard or intergalactic health crisis waiting to happen.”

Yes, he had meant that. She couldn't believe it. “And no one sat with you while you were sick?”

“No. It was always too risky. Trust me. One sneeze, and I can clear a room faster than a bomb threat.”

She sat in stunned disbelief of their blatant disregard for him. Of all the things he'd told her, she didn't know why this one seemed so much more horrible than the others, but it did. She couldn't imagine being ill as a small child and not having her mother tend her. Having someone bring her soup and … well,
care
.

“For the record, Jules? I hate your parents.”

“I don't.”

“How can you not?”

“I don't know.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I guess I just feel sorry for them.”

“Why?”

“They could have chosen to be happy together. All they had to do was stand up for each other and their sons. And they didn't. Instead, they chose rank and position over family. My mother refused to give up her job as prime commander to marry my father when she found out she was pregnant with us, and my father refused to give up his empire to marry her. They wanted everything, and they ended up with nothing.”

“It doesn't excuse what they've done to you.”

“Maybe, but had they not done it, I wouldn't be here with you now. I'd be in their empires, married to someone else. And I wouldn't cherish you as much as I do. So honestly? You should be grateful to them for making me able to appreciate you the way I do.”

She gave him a suspicious glare. “You don't really believe that. Do you?”

He swallowed hard as he took her hand in his and caressed her fingers. “When I was younger, I hated them viciously. I did. I stayed angry all the time. At everyone … even myself. It wasn't until the night my brother confronted me that I was able to finally let that anger go. But the one thing I learned from being with your bastard cousin and his crew … it doesn't matter when you try to make them like you. If they're determined to hate, they hate, these last five years, I kept thinking that if I'd just been a better son.… If I'd done what my parents had wanted me to, and kept my mouth shut, and not fought them like I did. If I'd followed the rules and played along, that things would have been different. That they'd have accepted and loved me.”

His gazed burned into hers. “It didn't matter. I did everything Kirill asked of me, Shara.
Everything
. I kept my mouth shut and sucked it all up. And they still gave me away like I was garbage.”

“Oh honey…”

He finally looked away. “So no, I don't hate or blame my parents. Apparently, the flaw's with me. Whether I try or not, I'm the one who never fits in. It's the old saying, right? If everyone's an asshole, maybe the asshole's you. I guess I'm the real asshole, after all.”

She tugged at his hand. “You know better.”

He laughed bitterly. “You have twin sisters, right?”

“Yes.”

“You know how they talk about the unbreakable bound between twins? How close they are from the moment of birth and how they have their own language with each other?”

“Of course.”

“I never had that with my brother. Not once.” His voice was scarcely more than a whisper—that tone told her just how much this confession bothered him. How long he'd kept it his own secret without telling it to anyone else. “My earliest memories are of watching him and Galene Batur playing together in our nursery.”

Meeting her gaze, he laughed bitterly. “I had the biggest crush on her. I thought she was the most beautiful girl on Andaria. Like some angel that had fallen from the gods to grace us. Whenever she'd visit with her father, I wanted to make her smile at me the way she'd smile and laugh at my brother. But she never did. She could barely stand to look at me and was always so impatient and annoyed with everything I did. I'd get so frustrated over it that I'd end up fighting with both of them, and they'd shove me out of the room to leave them in peace so that they could play without my interfering. And all I wanted was to be part of their group. Then when Nyk was gone, I had so much guilt over it all. Like I'd wished it on him because I wanted to play with her on those afternoons. And it always made me think that I must have been defective from birth and that Nyk somehow knew it. Why else would my own twin have rejected me?”

“Jules—”

“Don't, Shara. I know the arguments you're going to make. But when you strip them all away, you do have to wonder at the truth. Really. There has to be something defective within me at my core soul. My parents aren't bad people. My father is extremely well-respected by everyone who knows him. His parents adored the ground he walked on. My brother and his family think the universe of him. My mother has always been in love with my father since the day they met. My mother and aunt are completely devoted to each other. They love and respect Nykyrian, who in turn loves and respects them. They have the devotion of the entire population of Andaria and the media. I, alone, am the one they all hated and ridiculed from the moment I was born.”

“They never gave you a chance.”

“Honestly, I don't think it would have mattered. It's like when a dog or lorina attacks a predator or a damaged pup or cub. They instinctively know there's something wrong with the newcomer and that it's harmful to their group so they attack and kill it before it has a chance to damage the rest. Maybe I'm that defective, harmful cub that needs to be culled or killed.”