Authors: Omar Tyree
“Well, maybe we just couldn't see things like you,” Veronica stated. “And maybe we couldn't get into Engineering and Science. And maybe our cousin didn't get to meet us and take us out to California. That's all we're saying.”
They had a point, but that was life. Everybody couldn't do the same things, and everybody wouldn't get the same breaks. There was nothing I could do about that.
I finally said, “Look, we are all still teenagers. That means we still have a lot of life left to live. So nobody's putting a limit on what we can do. And you shouldn't put a limit on yourselves. That's what Tracy told me, and that's what I'm passing on to you as my sisters. So yeah, you may not get the breaks I'm getting now, but who's to say that you won't get even bigger breaks than me later.
“But you still have to be
prepared
for when it happens,” I told them. “There's no getting around that. And there's nothing I can do to help you if you're not prepared. All you would end up doing is wasting an opportunity.”
I had said a mouthful, and I didn't know what else I could say to them. They still had to finish high school, and Tracy and I didn't have time for babysitting out in L.A. We would be working. So my sisters would just have to wait their damn turns.
Tiffany broke the silence and asked, “Anybody want a Snickers bar?”
We all laughed together at her perfect timing of humor. She was definitely talented, but so were many other girls who never pushed their talents further. So that became my new mission. If my sisters wanted to complain about and envy my position with Tracy, then once I came across a break for them, I planned to push them until they would either beg for mercy or take control of the situation and shine.
*Â Â *Â Â *
I hung out and kicked it with my sisters all day, laughing, joking, watching movies on DVD, and just relaxing until my cousin Jason called me on my cell phone.
“What happened this morning?” he asked me. It was nearly five o'clock by then.
“We just got into it, Jason. What do you want me to say?” It was obvious that someone had told him. I was assuming it was Alexandria.
“Who started it?”
“Actually, your girl started it by having a shitty attitude this morning. Did you promise her something that she didn't get last night?” I questioned him. He still didn't know what I knew about them.
“She started it? How?” he asked me.
I said, “They were talking about me and your sister in their room and beefing with us because of last night apparently. And when we all met up in the hallway to leave this morning, it all came out.”
“So, you started fighting Alexandria?”
“No, she told Jasmine to mind her business, shut her damn mouth, and some more stuff, so Jasmine surprised us all and went to town on her. Then Maddy jumped in it. So I tried to break Maddy away from the fight, and that's when she turned on me.”
“So y'all were all fighting this morning?” he asked me.
“Everyone but Sasha. She was still trying to figure out why we were fighting in the first place.”
Jason said, “That's crazy, man. I thought y'all were friends.”
I said, “I thought so, too. But you know how crazy things can get when the opposite sex gets involved.”
“Yeah, I see,” Jason told me. “So where are you now?”
“I'm at my mom's house. She should be back home from work soon, then we're all going out to eat together.”
“Tracy's supposed to do that with us tonight, too.”
“Yeah, we've all been busy at work all week.”
“So umm . . . what do you think about Alexandria? You think I should just leave her alone?” he asked me.
“Is that what you want to do? I mean, do you have any real feelings toward her? You just met her and you hardly even know her, right?”
He said, “Yeah, but . . . I mean, she
bad.
And she likes me.”
I asked him, “Were you really just walking her to the elevators last night?”
“Naw, I was just trying to keep her out of trouble with Tracy,” he
admitted. “That's why I didn't say that you introduced us. I didn't want Tracy pointing her fingers at you either.”
“Yeah, I noticed that,” I told him. I said, “But if you really like Alexandria, then Tracy's gonna find out eventually. I mean, what's the big secret about?”
I wasn't planning on getting in their way whether we were all fighting or not. If Alexandria wanted the boy, and Jason wanted her, then they should be together.
Jason seemed hesitant. He said, “Yeah, I just gotta figure out . . . I mean, y'all flying back to L.A. Sunday anyway.”
“Yes we are,” I told him. “But what does that mean? You have money to fly out west, and Alexandria has money to fly back east.”
“Yeah, but she's still in college, I'm ready to get out of college. I'm in Philly, she's all the way in L.A.â”
I cut him off and said, “Well, just leave it the way it is then, Jason. If you don't want to push it any further, then don't.”
He didn't respond to me. Alexandria had his mind twisted. I guess it felt too good to him. Puppy love must be nice.
Veronica looked over at me from the sofa and said, “It sounds like somebody got somebody's nose open.”
I smiled at her and nodded my head.
Jason said, “You should see how people look at her when I'm out with her.”
I shook my head and smiled wider.
I said, “I know how they look at the girl, Jason. But is that all you think about? I mean, do you like her personality?”
“I don't know. She seems a little bossy sometimes,” he answered.
“Don't we all,” I told him. “So you want a pretty little mouse girl?”
“I'm not saying that, but I'm not trying to spend a lot of time arguing with a girl either.”
I said, “Well, do whatever you plan to do then. I have nothing else to say about it. Every decision you make is between you and her now.”
“I know.”
“I'm glad you do.”
When I hung the phone up with Jason, Veronica asked me, “Jason
fell for one of your model girls?” Tiffany was off in the house doing something else.
I nodded to my sister and said, “That's what it looks like.”
“And he doesn't want Tracy to know about it?”
“Not yet.”
Veronica studied me for a second. She said, “Is Tracy intimidating all like that? I mean, I read a little bit of her sequel book,
For the Love of Money,
but I couldn't follow it. She kept confusing me with the dates and stuff.”
I said, “She can be very intimidating if you don't come correct with her. But I get along with her because I always come correct. At least so far,” I added with a smile.
Who knows when Tracy would fire off at me for some reason. I could be just holding on by a string with her myself.
“Is she ever getting married soon?” my sister asked me.
I grinned and said, “We were just talking about that this morning. Why is marriage so important for her? I mean, is Mom ever gonna get married? Nobody sweats her about marriage.”
Veronica frowned at me and said, “They're totally different, Vanessa. Mom is overweight and just making it, with three kids. But Tracy is a Hollywood star with her own money and no kids. They are so different it's a shame.”
“So nobody would want to marry Mom, but everybody would want to marry Tracy? Is that your logic?”
She said, “I hate to admit it for Mom, but yeah.”
I had a lot of comments about that, but I decided to take it one step at a time.
I said, “Do you think Mom would marry anyone who asked her?”
Veronica paused. “No, not anyone,” she answered. “But she can't be too choosy either.”
“What about Tracy?”
“Oh, now, she can choose who she wants to.”
“What if the person she chooses is already taken?”
Veronica eyed me with confusion. She said, “Well, choose somebody else. It's a million guys out here who would want to marry Tracy.”
“But does that mean she wants to marry them?”
“Why not?”
“Because it may not be the right fit for her.”
“Well, what kind of man does she want? I'm sure she can get him. All she has to do is put her mind to it like she does with everything else.”
“So it's that easy to you, hunh?”
“For her, yeah.”
I had lost my train of thought. Was it that simple? Could it be that simple? You just walk down the street and say, “Hey, you, let's get married.”
I gathered my response and said, “You have to find a man who wants what you want, basically. And Tracy wants her freedom. But can you be free and be married at the same time?”
I was asking myself the question just as much as I was asking Veronica.
She said, “Well, this may sound crazy to you, Vanessa, but everybody wants to belong to somebody. That freedom stuff”âshe shook her headâ“it may sound good, but all I can see is an old, lonely woman with a bunch of pets and plants in her house, walking around talking to herself with no man and no kids.”
I started laughing. I said, “Well, what about a man who never gets married or has kids?”
She said, “Either he just don't have no game, or he's a con man and a criminal who doesn't want any ties that can be used as his weakness. Like in that movie
The Usual Suspects
when that guy kills his own family to let his enemies know how ruthless he was. That was insane. So I don't trust guys who don't have kids or families either.”
My sister had me forgetting everything I wanted to say. It was cut and dry to her; either you marry and have kids, or you were crazy.
She said, “There's a reason why marriage has been around for so long, Vanessa. And I don't care what you say, everybody wants to be with somebody.”
I said, “Okay, I can agree with that. But let's just say this about Tracy; her career aspirations may conflict with marriage and kids right now, but once she decides where she wants to go and what she wants to do with herself in the future, then she can decide on her own about a man and having kids and stuff.
“Is that fair enough?” I asked my sister.
Veronica was hesitant to agree with me. She smiled and said, “I know I would have me a gorgeous husband right now if I was her.”
I was able to respond to that. I said, “Well, that was not Tracy's goal when she went to Hollywood. And if it was her goal, she probably wouldn't be who she is right now.”
I said, “You still have to be focused on doing you, and if you find someone who you enjoy on the way, then so be it. But there's a lot of women who are trapped right now because they didn't get an opportunity to do things before they ended up married with kids. Like that scene in
Waiting to Exhale,
when Angela Bassett burns all of her husband's clothes in his car after she found out he was cheating on her and hiding his money.”
I said, “It was like she had to start her life all over again.”
Veronica grinned and nodded. I guess she had finally gotten my point.
Out of the blue, she said, “I would have shot his ass if he wasted my life like that.”
Wow! I was stuck again. How could Veronica go from one extreme to the other? On the one hand, she begs for the husband, and on the other, she shoots him when he fucks up. It didn't make any sense.
I shook my head and said, “Okay, I give up. Because I can see that this discussion will never end between us.”
Veronica laughed and said, “I was just joking. I wouldn't shoot him. Besides, she had all that money after that. Shit, I would have gone out and gotten me a new man.”
That was it for me. There was no sense in even talking about it anymore. I wanted to leave the subject alone with my sister. But out of curiosity, I asked her, “What about me? When do you think I should settle down with a man?”
Veronica looked at me and said, “Oh, I already know, you're gonna be one of those women I talked about, with the cats and plants and no man. I mean, Tracy had like
ten
boyfriends by now. You've had about what,
two
? And you treated both of them like they were on punishment. âYou can't call me at this time. You can't call me at that time.
You can't come over to my house. I can't come over to your house.' I mean, what the hell was the point?”
I screamed out laughing. My sister had been eavesdropping on my conversations.
She said, “So I don't even worry about you. But I thought Tracy liked guys.”
I said, “Well, there was a time when dating had rules, you know. But now I guess anything goes, like your tight-ass jeans.”
Veronica said, “Not anything, but a lot more than what you had going.”
We heard the key turning in the lock at the front door and knew that our mother had arrived.
Veronica looked at me, and I looked back at her.
“Here she comes,” my sister told me.
I stood up to greet my mother when she walked in. I was a little nervous again, so I wanted to get the greeting over with as quickly as possible. And since my sister had already assumed my mother's lack of prospects on a workable marriage, I felt sorry for her.
My mother walked through the door bent over with brown shopping bags in both her hands and arms, and I immediately grabbed them from her to help her out.
She looked up at me and said, “Thank you, Vanessa. I miss having somebody around here to help me out when I walk through that door. I'm gettin' to be an old lady already, and I'm not even forty yet.”
Veronica heard her but didn't respond to it. Then Tiffany scrambled down the stairs.
“Hey, Mom, what you got to eat?”
My mother just looked at me. I could feel her pain already. It was everyday use for her. She was a mule. No wonder she was so mad all the time. Sometimes being away from it all gives you a chance to see things more clearly. So I stepped up and hugged my mother at the door for love's sake.