Bound by Blood and Brimstone (18 page)

that wood was solid cherry.” He chuckled. “Later, that cabinet sold for big money at an auction.”

He looked at me for a moment and shook his head, as if he was coming out of a daze.

“I’m sorry, forgive my manners. The name’s Mike. Mike Sheldon.” With that, he reached

his hand out and shook mine, grinning broadly. “Say, I was just getting ready to eat. Nothing

much but some dried beef and hard bread, but you should join me.”

I shared my cold chicken and biscuits with him and for several minutes the only sounds

we heard were our chewing and the occasional crow’s caw. He used his hands a lot as he talked,

and trained his eyes on my face the whole time. Daddy had told me once if a person couldn’t

look you in the eye when speaking, you best be assured you were in the company of a liar. Mike

Sheldon, then, was a truthful man.

I found myself overcome with the uncanny feeling that he knew me already. His eyes

captivated me, binding me to his intent gaze. They were an extraordinary golden color, like

clover honey, and were rimmed with black lashes. I had the sensation of falling weightlessly

through space when something he said cut through to my core. I shivered back to reality. “Huh?”

“I was just saying that it’s important to mourn such a great loss.”

How could he possibly know? I haven’t said a word about Daddy. Or did I, and just don’t

remember? My thoughts jumbled themselves into a clump, and I felt dazed and lightheaded.

Then, as if he had heard those very thoughts, he said, “Don’t be alarmed or anything. I

could just tell. It’s pretty obvious with you.”

“How do you mean? Did you hear me back there earlier when I was--crying?”

His gaze still held mine. “Not exactly. Listen, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s part of

the human condition to experience loss and grieve.”

“You’ve lost someone you loved?” I asked tentatively.

“Many times,” he said softly, sorrow sweeping his handsome features. “And every time

hurts just as much as the first.”

“I believe you,” I whispered. And I did.

“I have something important to tell you, Ember.” He reached for my hand and grasped it

firmly in his. “Something else you must believe.” His golden eyes bore into mine, and I

discovered that I couldn’t look away, no matter how much I struggled to do so.

“What is it?” I finally said.

“Your father loves you.” I tried to pull my hand back, but he held it tight.

“What are you talking about? My father is dead! He’s dead and in the ground, and can’t

love anyone!” A cold anger had gripped me, but still, I couldn’t escape his grasp. “Why would

you say something like that when I just lost him?”

“You’re angry with him. You think he’s deserted you,” he responded calmly.

“No, I’m not angry,” I declared, my voice rising. “He didn’t want to leave us. He had no

choice. It wasn’t his fault.”

“He wants you to know that he hasn’t left you at all. He knows you’re angry, but it’s

okay. He loves you as much as ever, and he always will. Remember that, Ember.” He released

my hand and I jerked myself up off the log. My voice was shaking when I spoke my last words

to him.

“I thought you were nice! I thought you could be a friend, but you’re just teasing me!

You’re not nice at all! You’re just like Caleb Jacobs!”

I was backing away from him when he stopped me dead in my tracks. “You’re wrong

about Caleb. He’s not what you think.” I felt as though someone had punched me in the stomach.

Who are you, Mike Sheldon? What are you?
I wondered, as my heart fluttered and lurched within

me. I ran
.

In my haste to get away from Mike Sheldon, I stumbled and fell twice, so by the time I

made it to the porch I must’ve looked like some kind of drunken hobo with my mud-caked face

and torn overalls. The look on Momma’s face reminded me that she maintained higher standards

for people entering her front room.

“Ember Mae, what on earth have you been doing? You look like you’ve been making

mud pies!” I stopped, breathing hard, about to apologize, when two things struck me at once.

The first was that there was no sign of Wonnie Dean. She never went to town this time of

day, and since Daddy had died, she’d barely left Momma’s side except for Sundays when we

went to church. The second thing was Momma, sitting in Daddy’s chair holding Baby Sam. It

was the first time I’d seen that sight in weeks.

She’d washed her hair, put on a clean housedress, and the horrid vacancy in her eyes was

gone. She seemed to have come back from the dead while I’d been gone. I wondered how much

stranger this day could get. I was about to find out.

“I’m sorry about the mess, Momma. I was out in the woods,” I said humbly. “Where’s

Grandma Wonnie?”

“She went home,” Momma stated flatly.

“Home? What do you mean? We need her.” She stopped rocking and eyed me coldly.

“I mean she went home. I guess she’s angry with me.” My jaw dropped and my face

must’ve registered surprise, because she sighed and shook her head to stop my onslaught of

questions. “Oh, Ember Mae, I can’t expect you to understand adult matters. You’re just a child.

Now close your mouth and come sit on the couch. We have to talk.” I was stung by her words,

but bit my tongue and walked over to sit by her.

“Where’s Lorrie Beth?” I asked, thinking maybe it wasn’t a good sign for Momma to

need to talk to me alone without a companion in misery.

“She’s in her room. I’ve already told her.” Alarm bells were going off somewhere in the

back of my head now, but I forced the question anyway.

“Told her what, Momma? What is it?” Instead of answering, she dropped her head and

fidgeted with the baby’s blanket. I waited. When she looked up at me, her eyes were full of tears.

For a second she didn’t seem to be capable of speaking, but just kept shaking her head back and

forth.

At last, she burst out, “Oh, Ember Mae! I can’t do this! I just can’t! I’m not strong

enough! I never have been! I don’t know how to do anything except take care of babies and a

house, and there’s so much more, so many things William did--I just can’t possibly raise you

three and take care of this place by myself!”

I had no clue where this was going, but I didn’t like the way all my spit had dried up.

Momma was up and pacing the floor now, jiggling the baby so hard I was afraid he would throw

up.

“Oh, I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain this to you,” she blurted. “You can’t

begin to understand what it’s like.” She continued to pace, her voice growing shrill. “I’ve never

been without a man to take care of me. There was my father when I was young, and then there

was William, always William.”

She sniffed loudly and wheeled on me. “Now you listen to me, Ember Mae Roberts. I’m

your mother, and I don’t owe you one explanation of anything I do! I’m a grown woman, and I

can make my own decisions!” I was dumbfounded. Here she was, telling me how helpless she

felt, and in the next breath, she’s declaring her independence.

“Of course, Momma,” I said in a small voice. Of course you can make your own

decisions. But, Momma, don’t worry about anything. We’ll make it okay, you, Lorrie Beth,

Wonnie Dean, and me. We can pull together. We can...” I trailed off when I saw she was glaring

at me.

“Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? That’s not enough. Two children and an old

woman can’t help me.”

“Well, what do you plan to do, Momma? You know you can count on me, whatever it

is.” I nearly gagged on my words, knowing they were true, even though she could’ve had

something in mind that would change our lives forever, something like selling Daddy’s farm and

moving.

“I’m glad you feel that way, Honey,” she said quietly, “because I’ve decided to get

married. To Reese Watkins.”

There was no doubt. Our mother had lost her mind. It was the only explanation for her

decision to marry Reese Watkins. I knew it would be a waste of time to try and talk her out of it,

and I had plenty reasons to try and do just that. Unfortunately, no one can reason with a crazy

woman.

It was the first time in my life I remembered being so angry at Momma, I could hardly

stand to be in the same room with her, and the first time I felt utter betrayal at the hands of an

adult. Couple that with the fact that she had the gall to ask Lorrie Beth and me to “stand up” for

her during the wedding, and understandably, the result wasn’t a pretty picture.

Looking back, the one thing that probably kept me on my feet was the shock I was still

under after losing Daddy. They say a person can walk around for months in a cloud of it and

barely remember what happened afterward.

I hadn’t forgotten or forgiven Reese’s treatment of Wonnie Dean at our dinner table, so I

wasn’t the least bit interested in hearing what he had to say that spring night when he stopped by.

He was wearing a black suit, strained at the buttons, and a starched shirt that had his fat neck in a

chokehold. After Momma called us into the kitchen, he sat and spoke to us a long while in low,

earnest tones.

His dead eye kept drifting to one corner, making me slightly dizzy, and he cleared his

throat and drummed his fingers on the table every few words.

“I want you girls to know how sorry I am about your Daddy. He was a fine man, and I

don’t ever want you to think that I would try and take his place.” He paused and looked at each

of us in turn. I glanced at Lorrie Beth and saw her eyes well up at the mention of Daddy. She

opened her mouth as if to speak, but shut it quickly, not quickly enough, though. Reese had

noticed. “What do you want to say, Honey?” he asked.

She swallowed and looked to me for silent approval. “I just think, I mean, I’m glad you

don’t want to take Daddy’s place, because nobody could ever do that.”

He reached across the table to take her hand. “I know that Lorrie Beth, and that’s the

way things should be. Don’t ever think my being here means that your daddy is forgotten, or that

you can’t still love him as much as ever. The only thing it does mean is that you girls and your

Momma don’t have to be alone. I’m going to do my best every day to take care of you, and with

the Lord’s help, we’ll all make it through this.”

Lorrie Beth rewarded his little speech with a weak smile. I just sat there counting the

yellow flowers in the wallpaper over the stove. He let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair

to run a finger under his too-tight collar. In that suit he put me in mind of a big sausage stuffed in

its casing. Clearing his throat for the fiftieth time, he addressed his next words to me.

“The main thing I want you to remember is that I love your Momma. I love her so much

it nearly takes my breath when I think about her. You’ll never have to worry about anything bad

happening to her or anyone hurting her as long as I’m living.”

I refused to look at him. Instead, I turned my attention to Momma. She was just sitting

there with a vacant smile on her face, gazing at Reese Watkins in a way that made me wonder

how long it had been since she’d thought of my daddy. It made me want to vomit. “May I be

excused, please? I have some homework to finish.”

She sighed and shook her head, clearly exasperated with such a difficult child. “All right,

Ember Mae, go ahead.” I went back to my room and spent the next two hours seething.

Later, Lorrie Beth came in and sat on the edge of my bed, twisting an embroidered

handkerchief in her hands. “Momma thought you were downright rude to Daddy Reese. She said

it embarrassed her the way you acted.” I’d been lying on my back staring at the ceiling. At her

words I shot up from the pillows like a bullet.

“Daddy Reese? Oh, is that how it is then? Daddy Reese? Have you lost your marbles?”

She flinched a bit and just shrugged. “What’s the big deal, Em’? What can it hurt? I think

he’s trying hard to let us know he’ll be good to all of us. With him and Wonnie and all of us

pulling together, maybe we can get through this. Besides, he asked me to call him that.” This last

was scarcely more than a whisper.

“Well, isn’t that precious,” I said with a sneer. “My sister the saint and her Daddy

Reese!” I was teetering on the edge of some black precipice now, dangerously close to falling to

the death of our sister’s bond. It didn’t matter. In that second it would’ve been easier to part the

Red Sea than to tame my tongue.

“What’s the matter with you? Can you just go on and act like it’s okay for him to be here,

when Daddy’s not even cold yet? And did you see the way Momma was looking at him with

those big cow eyes? Like she’s forgotten all about Daddy! And do you really think he’s going to

let Wonnie help us with
anything
? Don’t you remember the way he talked about her right in

front of her own nose? You make me sick! All of you! Now get out of here and leave me alone; I

can’t stand the sight of you now!” I plopped back down on my stomach and buried my head