Bound by Blood and Brimstone (48 page)

legal.”

How can that be? Reese practically flipped when he found out. He was scared to death no

couple would want a deaf mute child. My stomach churned. What else didn’t I know?

“Your mother convinced us to wait before we took Joshua home. She told me you’d

promised to teach him sign language and that he’d be easier to adjust to once he could

communicate. She said Lorrie Beth was so attached to him she couldn’t bear to lose him while he

was so little and helpless.”

Lies! All lies!

“So, we agreed to wait until he was older. As a matter of fact, we were planning to come

for him just a few days after all this.” Her words trailed off weakly, and her slender throat

convulsed. She gave the hanky a savage twist and released a shuddery breath before collapsing

on her knees beside me. With her face burrowed in my mattress and her hands fisted in my

sheets, she gave herself over to guilt and grief, her gray head whipping about to muffle her sobs.

“Oh, Ember Mae! I did love her, so! You have no idea! I should’ve helped her, should’ve

been there for her. I knew her like no one knew her. I knew what she was getting into, and I

didn’t stop it! I could’ve gotten her out of Silver Rock Creek, and away from him! Oh, God

forgive me and my petty jealousy!”

For a moment, I was too stunned to move, and could only watch as if from a distance

while she soaked my bed with her tears. I looked down at the thinning hair barely covering the

scalp and reached a tentative hand to one of hers. “Shhh. Don’t cry, Auntie. I know you loved

her. You did your best. I don’t blame you. Nobody does. Now, come on, get up. Tell me what

Momma wanted me to know.”

It was some time before she could pull herself together, and when she did, all her

trappings of pride were destroyed, her defenses shattered. For the first time in her life, Aunt

Celeste was humbled.

Like a quivering child awaiting the first fall of the paddle, she sat holding my hand while

she told her story and spotted my sheets with a silent rain of more tears.

Over the past year, Momma had begun to slip into town to call Aunt Celeste. She was

unhappy and growing more scared by the day. She felt trapped, too frightened to leave, and she

wanted someone to know what she was going through. She’d become obsessed with the notion

of impending doom and the need to put her affairs in order.

“It was always you she had in mind, Ember Mae. She wanted you to have everything, all

her money and possessions. She wanted you to know everything. The whole truth. She always

told me that you, above all others, deserved the truth.”

“Why me? Why not Lorrie Beth?”

She gave me a sad, knowing smile. “Mona knew you’d be left to take care of your sister,

just like you always had. She didn’t feel like Lorrie Beth could handle the truth.”

Maybe I can’t handle it either
. With each passing second, I grew more certain that what I

was about to hear would alter the course of whatever life I had left. It took every ounce of my

strength to keep from bolting out of that bed, but in the end, I had to know.

“Why didn’t Momma just tell me herself?”

“She couldn’t,” Aunt Celeste said hollowly. “She was convinced you’d hate her.” I let

that sink in, but I didn’t let it touch me. Aunt Celeste had no way of knowing that what I’d felt

for Momma had been more complex than simple hatred.

Celeste really threw me a curve ball next. She told me Momma’s childhood had been one

of great privilege. Her father had been a wealthy coal baron, a stern and forbidding taskmaster,

ruthless in business as well as pleasure.

Hot headed, short tempered, cruel at heart, he’d cowed his young wife into an early grave

and smashed his competitors. My Momma, the apple of his eye, had held the one soft spot in his

stony heart. He’d doted on her shamelessly, believing she could do no wrong, and in return,

she’d adored him.

“Where did you fit in with all this, Aunt Celeste? Weren’t you close to your father, too?”

She swiped at her eyes with the sodden hanky and gave a small shake with her head. “I

was adopted, Ember Mae. To this day, I’m not sure why. Father clearly didn’t care for children

as a rule. I was just there.”

“You were jealous of Momma.”

She shrugged, smiling wanly. “Yes. She was pretty and vivacious, and everyone was

drawn to her like bees to honey. She had father’s undivided attention. She had everything I didn’t

have.”

“What about your mother?” I asked, my heart aching for the sad, neglected little girl.

“Momma died when I was young. I barely remember her. Father was the center of my

universe, and he rarely glanced my way.”

This new and surprising picture of my mother as a charming young sprite fascinated me,

and I found myself being drawn in. “What was she like as a teenager? Was she a good student?

Did she have a lot of friends?”

A small, pained expression danced across her features before she gripped my hand and

met my eyes with pity in her own. “Your mother was a brilliant student, magnetic, charismatic.

She was a born leader. Young people flocked to her at every turn. But she had one fatal flaw,

Honey.”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, hushed and expectant.

“What? What was her flaw?”

“She lived and breathed for the power she had over men.”

Abruptly, I jerked my hand from her grip, my face suddenly hot under the glare of

hospital lights. “What are you saying? Are you saying Momma was a whore?”

Unperturbed, she reached for my hand again, grasping it warmly. “No, Honey. I’m saying

your mother was young and beautiful and full of fire. There was something in her that put every

man in her reach under a spell. She didn’t do it on purpose. It was just part of who she was. And

she had a weakness for men. They were like a drug to her.”

“Is that so bad, having men like you?” I demanded, bristling. “It was always like that

with Lorrie Beth. Every boy in sight fell in love with her.”
Even Caleb Jacobs
.

Ignoring my jab, she went on to explain. “You have to understand how it was back then,

Ember Mae. There were certain standards for young women. Strict standards that had to be

followed if a reputation were to remain intact. Many a young girl’s life has been brought to ruin

by ignoring those standards.”

I sighed. “I suppose you’re about to tell me that Momma ignored the standards.”

“Mona was head strong and willful, always marching to her own drummer. Plus, she had

that weakness. When she was thirteen, Father caught her in the gatehouse with the gardener’s

son.”

“They were naked, crawling all over each other. He went insane. He beat the boy within

an inch of his life and fired the gardener. Then he dragged your mother by the hair of the head to

her room and beat her with a belt. She couldn’t sit down for a week.”

“I don’t think I want to hear anymore,” I murmured, knowing she wouldn’t stop.

“That was just the beginning. Things escalated. Mona lost control, bedding every boy

who caught her eye. There were too many to count. Father began following her, dragging her out

of cars, hotels, out of the woods. He even pulled a gun on her once. He was terrified word was

getting out, and his business empire would crumble.”

I hated where this was headed. I knew it was a train wreck, and I wanted off before the

crash. “Please,” I whispered, my head throbbing. “Please stop.”

Heedless to my pleas, lost in memory, she unraveled my momma’s destruction. “When

your mother was seventeen, he caught her in a motel with an older man. A rival coal operator.

Father dragged her home, kicking and screaming, and proceeded to beat her. She spit on him. He

broke her arm. She threatened to kill him with her bare hands. He kicked her out of the house,

swearing he’d disinherit her.”

My stomach was churning by now, and I had to pull my hand out of hers and thrust them

under the covers to hide the shaking. “Can’t you please just stop?”

“She ran to Huntington, determined to turn her life around. She worked her way through

teacher’s college and got her own classroom. She shunned men and began saving her money.”

“And that’s where she met my daddy, right?” Desperately, I clung to my pathetic thread

of hope. “That’s what she told me. She was teaching in Huntington and staying in a

boardinghouse when they met.”

“No, Honey,” she answered, her voice weighted with sorrow. “She met someone else

instead.”

Somewhere, deep inside, a heinous shadow of an idea was squirming, struggling to be

born, and I quashed it savagely.
No! I won’t think it!

“He was persistent, strong willed,” she continued. “He pursued her. She refused. He

pursued harder, wearing her down. Before she realized it, she was in over her head. As wrapped

up with him as he was with her.

“But she was different from the old Mona, and their relationship had always been proper.

She was trying to prove to Father that she was worthy of his trust and her inheritance, you see.

She felt certain that he’d soften and allow her back into the fold.”

“Sounds to me like she’d proved herself worthy enough,” I said, coming to Momma’s

defense.

“Something went wrong between Mona and her beau,” Celeste answered in a wooden

voice. “She tried to break it off with him, but he wasn’t having it. He followed her. He threatened

to kill her and himself, too. Then, every woman’s worst fear came true for her.”

“What?” I asked, but not wanting to know.

“She got pregnant. She claimed he raped her.”

The cold had settled into my bones now, in my jaw, causing my teeth to chatter. “You

didn’t believe her?”

“No,” Celeste stated flatly, sitting on my bed and pulling my quaking body to hers. “No, I

didn’t believe her. She was as obsessed with this man as he was with her. She was sick with it.

But he never knew about--the pregnancy.”

“He didn’t?” I allowed her to hold me, strangely comforted by her warmth and nearness.

It made it easier for me to avoid the dread building inside.

“She never told him. She was an unmarried woman, pregnant, scared to death. She came

to me for help. She was determined to get an abortion. She said she’d rather die than have this

baby.”

That’s when I froze in her arms as every shattered piece of my life fell into place with a

deadly click. I shoved her off me and turned my icy face to stare at her.

“You’re talking about me and Lorrie Beth, aren’t you? We were the pregnancy, weren’t

we? Momma was pregnant by this man with
us
, and she wanted to get rid of us. You talked her

out of it. That was your nasty little secret, wasn’t it? I heard you and Momma talking about it in

the front room that last time you came to visit us.”

I’d finally been broken. In one fell swoop, Celeste had wreaked more havoc than even a

butcher’s knife. I was teetering on the edge, perilously close to a place I could never get back

from.

“You’re telling me that I’m not who I thought I was my whole life. You’re telling me my

daddy isn’t my father, but some bully who might’ve forced himself on my mother, and you’re

telling me she loved him!”

Suddenly, we were nose to nose, me with her spindly arms in a death grip as I shook her

like a rag doll, my voice nothing more than a high-pitched rasp. “Tell me! Who’s the bastard

who fathered me! Who is he?”

With eyes wide and hairpins flying, she sobbed her answer. “It was Reese! Reese

Watkins is your father!”

It’s a different world I live in now, here at Wonnie’s. There’s freedom to move and think

and be, without intrusion or restraint. Sam feels it, too. I know he loves Sheriff Bates and was

well cared for, but it’s a given that he belongs here with me. The extra hour it takes for him to

walk to school is a small price to pay for what he has now.

Too much knowledge can kill a person. I believe that with my whole heart because I

came too close to plunging off that black edge into the abyss. Discovering who I really am

might’ve been the final nail in my coffin had I not learned to wall it off and encase it in ice. It

lies in that dark corner of my heart where all my other heinous secrets live. I’ll keep them there

until they put me in the ground.

In learning this trick, I’ve been able to survive having everything near and dear to me

ripped away. Not one tear has been shed for Lorrie Beth or the rest. Not yet. Out of necessity, my

season of mourning must be delayed until my mission is completed.

I can’t risk giving thought to the three of them lying beneath the earth without the benefit

of goodbyes. At some later date, when I can stand it, I’ll leave my last words with my sister and

share with her what I’ve done for her sake.

By the same token, I can’t burden myself with worrying about Sheriff Bates and his mad

desires of revenge. I already know he won’t be successful, just as I know Sue Lee Jacobs will

never be found. The sheriff is a good man with a big heart, but he’ll die still lacking the