“
I know we’re broke,” Bri said, letting the baton fall to her side. “You said we had to cut back but we’re like broke, broke. That’s what Ally Stewart’s telling everybody. So you might as well stop lying to me. You said we were selling the house to buy a smaller place, but, Ally, who I hate, said we’re gonna end up in a homeless shelter because Dad was a thief who was going to bankrupt the city if he hadn’t died first.”
Jenna stared at her sister, her pulse racing. “That’s not true.”
“
If we’re so broke why can’t I get a job?”
“
Because now that school’s out I need you to keep Ethan. I can’t afford daycare anymore.”
Brianna huffed off but quickly returned. “I can’t even go to college, can I?”
“
I don’t know yet. Maybe. There’s still time to work things out.” Eight whole weeks before the first payments were due.
“
You’re lying again,” Bri said. “It’s worse not knowing what’s going on than knowing. You’re making me feel all whiny and grouchy and stupid. And I’m a
delightful
person,” she said, sounding anything but. “Just tell me the truth.”
Jenna groaned softly. Now was as good a time as any. “Dad spent all your college fund and what was left of mine. I’m sorry. I’m trying to….”
“
I knew it,” Bri said, her face turning bright red. Tears came to her eyes and she ran off. “I knew it!”
Jenna had had plans, once, to get a law degree from Vanderbilt, then move to an exciting city, find a great job, a fabulous apartment, and live happily ever after. The plan had been so simple. The plan had been in the works since her freshman year of high school.
How one night of heavenly pleasure could have destroyed years of hard work seemed inconceivable. But she’d learned the hard way that an instant could destroy all life, all plans. Her mother had learned the same lesson the instant an artery in her brain ruptured. Her father, the instant his heart revolted and he drove his car straight into an oak tree.
Too upset to focus on bills, she headed upstairs, toward the cries of her son and sister. Bri’s door was closed as Jenna went to the nursery. She almost stopped then decided to give her sister time to cool down. As she turned into the nursery, she saw her screaming son sprawled face down on the carpet as if he’d expended his last ounce of energy struggling to make it from the room, and was now left stranded and helpless.
His dramatics struck her as funny and instantly brightened her mood. One moment like this, one moment when she remembered all she truly possessed in her life, made all the fears and frustrations disappear. For a while.
As soon as he saw her feet in the doorway, he fell silent and didn’t move, playing dead.
“
Oh, no,” she teased. “Poor Ethan. I guess I get to keep all his toys for myself now.”
He hopped up to his knees and held out his arms to her. “No!” he snapped, frowning at her. “Mine.”
“
Well, I’ll be, there he is.” She picked him up and carried him to the changing table. “I guess you get to keep all your toys now.”
Her son, often as good-natured as his father could be, giggled and offered her his little dinosaur toy.
She accepted the gift and took a moment to really look at her child, at the beautiful face that changed by the day. One day soon, he’d need a father figure. He would also need a roof over his head, food in his mouth, clothes on his back, and the best education possible. It broke her heart to think of the struggling future she’d be able to offer him now.
With a happy child in her arms, she passed Bri’s door again and this time knocked. Bri swung the door open. Her face was still red but at least she’d stopped crying.
“
What?”
“
I’m sorry. I’m doing the best I can.”
“
It’s Daddy’s fault. Not yours.” She slammed the door. “Now leave me alone!”
Jenna walked away on wobbly legs, checking her cell phone, wishing Brandon would hurry up and call and let her know if he’d been successful. She’d canceled the home phone, Bri’s phone, the cable and internet, but with a small child, she felt she needed to keep some kind of communication device in the house for emergencies. This time, it seemed, Brandon was honestly trying to do her a favor.
Though, what he wanted in return for such a favor made her feel sick. She hadn’t agreed yet, but she had to at least consider his offer. She was out of options.
Forcing herself not to get worked up in front of her son, she fed Ethan a snack, rubbed him down with sunscreen, found his cap, and took him outside to play in the backyard.
As soon as she stepped out the back door she knew whatever magic had brought Sam Strickland back into her life yesterday was over. The humid heat had returned, as stifling and oppressive as ever. Sam was probably well on his way back to his happy, carefree life, wherever he lived with his beloved wife and child.
It helped to stay busy, so she sat on the porch and shelled black-eyed peas for supper and watched Ethan play. He might grow up to be a musician like her mother, she often thought, listening to him sing his wonderful nonsense songs. There were times when he could almost carry a tune.
“
All he needs now is a guitar,” a man said from the end of the porch.
The sound of that familiar, deep voice startled her so she kicked over the sack of hulls and almost lost control of the bowl in her lap.
“
Sorry,” Sam said, chuckling, taking the steps up, smiling and looking so handsome Jenna could only stare. This was a hallucination, he wasn’t really there. It was the heat. “I knocked around front but you didn’t hear me,” he said, “then I heard the kid yell. Didn’t mean to scare ya.”
Wrong. He was there. Leaning against the porch post with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing a dark blue shirt that made his eyes seem like two sapphires sparkling at her.
“
You didn’t,” she said, righting the sack of hulls and adjusting the bowl in her lap, continuing her work to have something to do besides gawk at him. She hoped he wouldn’t notice her shaking hands. “What are you doing here?”
“
Thought I’d drop by for a visit,” he said. “See if you wanted to go out to the lake. My brothers and some friends are heading out later. My brother’s got a big boat. If you’re not too busy, it could be fun.”
She stopped working and looked at him. It was as if the past three years had vanished, and he had never left town, and nothing had changed. But something had changed, something alive and real, and the toddler came running from the sandbox to see who was visiting.
Ethan’s legs weren’t quite long enough to take the steps at a run, and he stumbled and fell hard on his arms. Jenna jumped up but he’d fallen by Sam’s leg and was already being rescued.
“
Whoa there, big fella,” Sam said, scooping Ethan up and setting him on his feet.
Ethan sniffled and whimpered, but didn’t quite give over to tears.
“
C’mere, sweetie,” Jenna called, setting the bowl aside. “Let me see.”
He walked to her, dropping his bottom lip, raising a fist to his eye. She set him on her lap and checked the red spot on his chin and another one on his arm. By the time she’d kissed both Ethan was through being hurt and ready to get on with his life.
He wriggled from her lap, wanting to see about the big, strange man standing on his porch. “Who’s ‘at?” he chirped, pointing up at Sam.
Sam knelt down and shook Ethan’s little hand. “I’m Sam. Who are you?”
“
Can you tell him who you are, Ethan?” Jenna prompted.
“
No,” her son answered.
Sam chuckled at that.
After taking a long curious look at his natural father, Ethan lost interest and carefully took the stairs down, running across the yard yelling to Pepper, the family’s five-year-old black Lab.
Jenna watched closely for any signs of recognition, either from her son, or his father. But neither seemed to realize the significance of their first meeting. Ethan had already forgotten, and Sam rose to his feet grinning innocently. Startling her again by the beauty that seemed to shine more from within than from his near-perfect features. “That’s one handsome kid,” he said.
Lord, she’d loved him since she was fifteen years old, when he’d been like a god in high school, and completely unaware of her existence. Everyone had loved Sam, and loving him had been like loving the man in the moon - he was no more attainable. But she couldn’t have stopped. She’d attended all his home football games just to watch him play. She’d once paid twenty dollars for a picture of him leaving the football field after a game. She’d slept with that priceless photograph under her pillow for a year, dreaming of a day when he would finally notice her. Dreaming of a day when they would finally be together.
She’d never wanted anyone but Samuel Strickland.
She’d been a fool.
That familiar, comforting hardness settled over her, sheltering and protecting, blocking his powers of attraction.
“
So, you gotta babysit long?” he asked with that deep, melodic voice any singer would have envied.
She swallowed, forced up her nerve and met his gaze. “He’s mine. I’m not babysitting.”
“
Oh.” Sam turned to look again at the child excitedly crawling on hands and knees around the base of the oak tree. “No kidding. So, you’re….”
She went still and looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “I’m what?”
“
Married?” he guessed.
A stray string of emotion passed through her and she realized gossip had made her defensive. She’d been called a lot of things over the past few years, except married. “Are you moving back to town or just visiting?”
He had straightened, preparing to leave, and easily returned to his conversational stance, leaning against the post with his arms crossed. She’d been taught to offer guests a seat but decided he was just fine where he was, where she could keep an eye on him, and not feel too close.
“
Just visiting,” he said. “My parents are celebrating their forty-fifth anniversary in a couple weeks. I’ve got a small ranch out in Texas. Feels good to be back in the Tennessee, though.” He smiled and sent her heartbeat fluttering. “Glad to see you again.”
Sure he was. So, he’d been in Texas? He had a ranch?
She’d wondered where he was and what he’d been doing. She knew his parents did something with horses, had a small horse farm, but still the news came as a surprise.
“
It was my granddad’s place,” he said when she couldn’t seem to respond. “I went out there to take care of things when his health started going downhill.”
Her gaze traveled down his long jeans-clad legs and focused on the blue sneakers he wore. He didn’t look much like a cowboy. Though, she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen a real cowboy, except on TV. A strange sense of jealousy came over her. While she slaved away in an office, he got to ride horses every day.
Then another thought came to her. If he was married, with a child, what was he doing here, asking her out to the lake? She needed to know.
“
Was that your wife I saw you with?” she asked as casually as she could, working again on the peas. “You looked happy together.”
“
Who’s that?” he asked, cocking his head. “When?” He frowned and almost as if two pictures had superimposed, she could see her son in his face. Eyebrows drawn in concentration, a thoughtful, focused expression in his eyes, the lower lip slightly pouted.
Her heartbeat accelerated. “Your wife. Yesterday at the park, with the little baby.”
“
Well, that wasn’t my wife, but you’ll have to be more specific. If it was a little baby, I’ve got two sisters and a cousin fitting that description.”
“
I thought you only have one sister, and three brothers.”
“
Remembered that, did ya?” he teased. “I meant my sisters by marriage, my brothers’ wives. We think Mom puts something in the water that renders all birth control ineffective. But she won’t fess up.” He chuckled with his most charming, handsome smile and looked with shining eyes out at the yard - watching her son, his son, playing.
Her body buzzed with relief as she blindly followed his gaze out to the lawn. The buzz moved to her stomach and fluttered around. He wasn’t married, and neither was she…. “So, you’re doing well, I guess.”
Her tone must have sounded friendlier than she’d meant because he relaxed and walked over to sit in the wicker chair beside her bench. The rush of breath as he fell back, the wave of energy and male-scented air he brought with him, made her dizzy, and scattered her thoughts. She could barely breathe, memories came crashing back to the melting heat of his touch on her skin, the untamed passion of his kisses, the way he had gazed into her eyes and seen no one else in the world….
“
Granddad passed away back in March,” he said, watching Ethan play. “He left it all to me since I was running the place, anyway. He was ninety-two. Was still able to ride almost till the end. Till the strokes got him. Toughest old coot you ever saw. Said he wanted to see one more birthday, and that was enough. He went peaceful in the night.”
His emotion-filled excuse for dumping her and leaving town caught her by surprise. He’d been taking care of his sick grandfather? She could barely comprehend the idea. He must have been doing all his partying and sleeping around while he, from time to time, checked in on his grandfather. Yet the expression in his eyes caused her to hold her tongue on the issue. His grandfather had died, and Sam still seemed to be in mourning. She knew all about that.