Bouquet Toss (2 page)

Toast

“Do I look alright?” Elise is shaking. Her eyes are glazed over and I see her palms sweating. Gently taking her hands in mine, I look her square in the eyes.

“You look absolutely stunning, Elise.  Take a deep breath.”  Elise takes in her breath and lets out an enormous sigh.  The color starts to come back to her cheeks.  I take this as a good sign to continue.
             

“You are marrying the man of your dreams.  Henry is wonderful and today he will become your husband.  Today you get to begin your future together as man and wife.  All of your planning, it all culminates
today
.  You’ve worked so hard and now you get to enjoy it!  Be sure to breathe and take it all in, okay?” I ask her calmly.

“Yes, I think I can do that.  Thank you, Daphne.  I couldn’t do this without you.  I mean that.”  Affectionately, I smile at my best friend.

“Brushing the veil from her shoulders, Elise’s deep brown hair flows down her back.  Her blue eyes glisten as she fights back the tears that are battling to spring from her eyes. She is so beautiful, such a sight to behold.  Giving me her signature smirk, she lifts up her bulky gown and looks ready to walk to the chapel.

“Let’s do this thing!”

As I watch Elise glide down the aisle towards the man she loves, I’m amazed at how anyone can be so confident in making such a life-altering decision.  It’s not that I don’t believe in true love but, how do you know when someone truly is “the one?”  Can you ever really know?   Perhaps the fact that such a decision seems to be so far in my future is making it really hard to conceive at this particular moment.  Almost like a nine year old wondering when she’ll ever have her first boyfriend or her first kiss.  Sometimes when something seems so far off in the future, it’s hard to imagine it will ever take place.  But, it does eventually happen.

Henry stares at Elise with such appreciation as she walks gracefully down the aisle.  I am captivated by his expression, his obvious adoration for his beloved.  I glance at Elise once again, hoping that she’s noticing her husband-to-be and his obvious adulation.  The exact same expression is spread across her gorgeous face. This is what love should look like, feel like.  I watch them in awe throughout the ceremony as they say their vows and appear positively exuberant as they are pronounced husband and wife.

Two hours later, after some quality time with the photographer and plenty of cocktails, the other members of the wedding party and I make our way to our seats at the head table.  Sitting down, I quickly check my handbag to make sure I’ve packed the note cards with my Maid of Honor speech written on them.  Damn!  That was the one thing I’d forgotten to check before leaving my apartment.  Luckily, as my hand reaches in the tiny purse, I feel the thick cardstock and instantly relax.  Public speaking is not terribly difficult for me.  After all, it’s part of my job description as a teacher.  But, my desire to make Elise proud is making my palms sweat.  She has always been so good to me, and I am determined to honor our friendship.

As I listen to Michael, the best man, give his speech, I try really hard not to focus on the fact that I’m next.  Instead, I search the room looking for a friendly face to focus on.  Elise’s mom is crying tears of joy as she clenches her husband’s hand.  How sweet. I can only hope that my wedding will someday have the same effect on my own mother.  By the time I finish observing Elise’s mom, Michael is handing the microphone to me as the room fills with the sound of applause.  I smile awkwardly and take the microphone from a very relieved Michael.  I take a deep breath, grab my index cards and try my best to stand tall.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.” I begin, my heart thumping, “I am honored to be here tonight to welcome Henry into my family.  No, Elise is not my sister by blood.  But, over the last twenty years she has become a sister to me deep within my heart.”  I pause briefly to smile at Elise.  Her eyes are beginning to well up with tears.  I’m growing more confident by the second.
             

Before I continue, I remember my public speaking professor in college.  He always said that you must scan a room in order to really connect with your audience.  So, I decided to do just that.  I turn to face the left side of the banquet hall, smile confidently and continue, “After all, sometimes it’s the family you choose who end up meaning the most to you, and I can truly say that about Elise.  We first became friends when I was a frizzy haired redhead getting teased on the playground by a much older bully.  All of a sudden, this scrappy little brunette came out of nowhere and defended me.  She chased that boy off in an instant and we were inseparable every moment after that.  We’ve seen each other through so many things: terrible teachers, awful break-ups and catty sorority girls who made our lives miserable.  It would take me hours to explain just how much she means to me. She is a treasure, an absolute treasure of a woman.”  Elise is sobbing next to me and I lift my eyes from my index cards in order to follow the instructions of my professor.

As my eyes make their way to the center of the room, I find myself looking at the wedding guests.  Some of them look distracted or bored out of their minds while others listen intently to my warm words.  Some drink from their wine glasses, and one even answers his cell phone.   “So, Henry, I want to congratulate you on being the luckiest guy in the room.  You’ve been lucky enough to find an extremely beautiful treasure and I hope that you will be so--” 

Oh my god.  I cannot believe my eyes.  How could I have not noticed this earlier?  Mayson.  He’s here!  He is sitting in the far right corner of the room, almost near the exit, staring at me with a coy smile as he runs his fingers through his hair.  Suddenly, I realize that I’m still holding a microphone and that I still need to finish this speech with some amount of grace and dignity.  I can’t let everyone in the room know that my stomach is doing gigantic flip flops.  Fumbling with my cards, I do my best to refocus my attention the very best I can.

“I hope that you will be so happy with the wonder that is my friend, Elise.  And, Mayson—“ Elise gasps at my side as I accidentally say the name of my ex-boyfriend.  He has invaded my subconscious!  My cheeks turn crimson and my heart races so fast I can hardly breathe. I look down at my cards, desperate for them to pull me out of this disaster of a speech.  “I mean, um,
Henry
, I can see how happy you make my lovely friend.  You light up her life and you represent her happily ever after.  She will always be my sister and so, Henry, I want to welcome you to my family as my new brother. I know that the two of you will share nothing but happiness in the many years to come.”  I manage to fake a large smile as Henry grins at me.  I have to finish on a strong note.  I refuse to let Elise down.  “Congratulations to the beautiful couple.  And here’s to your happily ever after.  Cheers!”  The crowd erupts in applause.  Elise rises out of her seat to embrace me tenderly, wiping tears from her eyes with her silken handkerchief.  I somehow manage to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes as I hold my friend tightly, dreading the end of this meal.

The next twenty minutes go by in a complete blur.   Somehow, I manage to force down a few bites of my dinner, although my stomach is in knots.  Staring off into space, not knowing how to react to the fact that Mayson is across the room, I consider my next move.  But, what about Mayson?  How will he proceed? Will he leave the reception in order to avoid a confrontation with me?  Will he ask me to dance?  I can’t bear to contemplate it any longer.  I have to escape. So, as dinner is wrapping up, I excuse myself to the ladies room. 

Walking across the ballroom, one of the groomsmen is walking towards me with a big smile.  He is very attractive, tall and thin with dark chestnut hair and a sexy goatee that frames his face beautifully...but I can’t possibly focus on him right now.

“Hi, Daphne.  That was a great speech,” he grins.

“Oh, thanks.  It’s Tanner, right?”  The second I question his name, I regret it.  Of course I know his name!  How ridiculous of me.  Mayson has me so frazzled that in this moment I feel like I am someone else entirely; someone who is unable to form a coherent thought or remember the name of a man who had caught my attention just yesterday at the rehearsal dinner.

“Yep, that’s me,” Tanner looks a little disappointed that I stumbled on his name, “listen, would you like to grab a drink?  I was just headed to the bar and I’d love to get to know you better.”  God, he’s cute.  But, I have to flee.

“Can I get a rain check?” I ask as casually as I can muster, “I’m headed to the powder room.”

“Oh, of course,” Tanner smiles, “I’ll look for you later.”

“Thanks,” I reply, heading quickly to the ladies room.  When I step inside the elegant sitting room, Elise is waiting for me.

“Daphne, honey, what’s the matter?  Your speech was beautiful, but you froze and turned so pale; you looked like you had seen a ghost.  And then you said
Mayson’s
name.  Where on earth did
that
come from?”  Elise says, as she eases her bulky dress out of an olive green armchair to stand beside me.  She has no idea how correct she actually is.  The reemergence of Mayson has disturbed me to my core.

“Oh, Elise, please don’t worry about it.  Go!  Enjoy your evening with Henry. You’re married now!”  I say with as much enthusiasm as I can possibly muster.  But, the cynical look in Elise’s eyes tells me she’s not buying it.

“Now, you listen to me, Daphne Harper.  You are my best friend.  And, I can read you like a book.  Something happened to you during that speech.  You need to tell me what’s going on.  Why have you been like a zombie ever since you sat back down?  Don’t you trust me?”  Elise looks distraught.  I have to tell her.

“No, Elise.  That’s not it.  Of course I trust you.  I trust you more than anyone else in the world.  But, this is your wedding day.  And I don’t want to spoil it.”

“Tough.  Now, tell me, Daphne.  Please.”

“Fine, but remember you asked for this.” I warn her, giving her one final moment of pause, hoping she will change her mind and rejoin her party.  She doesn’t budge.

“Mayson is here.  I saw him during my speech.  That’s why his name flew out of my mouth without warning.   Elise, why didn’t you tell me you invited him?  At least, then, I could have been prepared.  Is he a friend of Henry’s or something?  I know they met a few times, but I never expected him to be here.”

“Mayson?  You mean your boyfriend-from-college-Mayson?  He’s not here.  That’s impossible!”

“So, you didn’t invite him?”

“Absolutely not!  I would never do that to you, Daphne!”

“Well, he’s here.”

“Are you sure it isn’t someone who just resembles him?” 

“C’mon, Elise, give me a little credit.  I know what the guy looks like,” I respond, tilting my head and raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry, that was stupid of me,” Elise pauses with a pensive stare, “Maybe he’s someone’s date.  There are quite a few unnamed guests here tonight.”

“Oh my God, I hadn’t thought of that.”  He’s here with someone.  The bad somehow managed to get worse. I take a deep breath and look my friend square in the eye, “Elise, please, you have to go and enjoy your wedding reception.  I’m going to stay here for a little while to pull myself together.  But, I will never forgive myself if I keep you from enjoying this night!  Please, go, ok?”  My voice is bordering on desperate.  She nods in understanding.

“Ok, but I promise I’ll check in later.  Remember, I’m here for you, Daphne.  And, I’m so sorry this is happening.  Are you sure I can’t convince you to forget about Mayson and join me on the dance floor?   I would never forgive myself if I allowed you to lock yourself in the washroom for my entire reception.  We’ve been planning this evening together for the last fifteen months!  I need my Maid of Honor with me! We need to do it up right!”

“Listen, I will get myself under control, I
promise
.  I would never abandon you on your wedding day.  I just need a couple of moments to myself in order to get my bearings.  Now, get out there and find your husband,
please
Elise,” I say with a forced smile.  Elise kisses me quickly on my forehead, nods solemnly and walks out of the restroom.

The plush armchair in the resting area of the washroom envelops me as I sink deeper and deeper into its soft upholstery, my heart racing and my forehead starting to sweat.  What the hell am I going to do?  I am trapped; trapped by Mayson’s presence, trapped by my own insecurities, and even trapped by my lovely best friend who has just gotten married.  I can’t leave the reception, and I sure as hell can’t stay locked in the restroom like a coward.  I quickly fix my make-up and hair, take a very deep breath and head for the door.  I am walking towards the bar when I hear my name.

“Daphne.”  I’d know that voice anywhere; husky and deep, but with a hint of softness.

“Mayson?”  I somehow rally, trying my best to sound surprised.  “What are you doing here?  Are you a friend of Henry’s?”

“No.” He shakes his head, “I do remember him from school, but I wasn’t invited.   I’m actually here with a friend.”

“Oh,” I pause, trying to dissect his tone.  A
friend
?  That could mean just about anything.  And, I needed to know if my Mayson was now someone else’s Mayson.  It will impact the way that I approach this entire situation.