Bourne to Love Emma (RED-Stone Operatives Book 1) (6 page)

~Jason~

Holy Shit. 

I let her go.  The expression on her
face when she jerked away from me was enough of a figurative cold shower to get
my head on straight.  I scrubbed my hands over my face and leaned against the
wall.

I had been sitting here going over
the report on the car that’s been outside our building more than once.  Plates
led back to a mechanic on the other side of town who had no known ties to the
Patzkowsky case, but none of us at RED-Stone trust that easily.  I had been
tasked with watching the tapes from the cameras around the building each day,
doing my own recon and getting a GPS tracking unit on the vehicle if at all
possible.  There was a reason he was way over here and hanging out in his car –
and we’d figure it out.

And then the power had gone out. 

Battery operated lanterns are a staple
in my field gear and camping equipment.  Flashlights, matches, lighters, fire
starters – all of these things were useful in many situations, so my power
going out isn’t a big deal.  Even my computers have battery backups that give
me almost an hour to shut things down manually in a long-term power loss.

We were relaxed when she first got
here.  It was an easy thing.  She snort-laughed at my Dracula impression. 
Yeah, the sexual tension was still there, but things were…normal.  I went to go
get what she needed and then the power came on. 

My first thought was how good she
looked standing in my bedroom. Unfortunately, my brain was still stuck in that
thought when she apologized for the music next door – which is the only
possible explanation for why on earth I would say something that caused her to
realize I could hear her at night.  Her face had flashed with so many thoughts
and emotions and finally settled on panicked embarrassment.  And I just
couldn’t let that stand.

It wasn’t even a conscious thought
when I moved to kiss her.  I just needed to erase that look from her face. 
God, the taste of her.  The first stroke of my tongue over hers.  The soft
moans and whimpers.  The heat of her against me, her ass in my hands, the scent
of her arousal, the feel of her rubbing her sweet little body against me until
she couldn’t keep herself from coming apart in my arms.  It was incredible. 
Until she jumped right back out of my arms and ran like the building was on
fire.

I sighed and walked back to my desk. 
After spending some time staring at nothing, I tried to get back to work.  But
I just couldn’t seem to concentrate.  And then I remembered what I had
completely forgotten.  I yanked open one of the locked drawers of my desk and
pulled out the report my system had run on Emma.  With everything else going
on, I hadn’t ever sat down and gone through it all.

She was born in Arizona, started
college in Colorado before losing her parents in a car accident, packed up and
moved to California.  Got married to her ex and finished her degree at UCLA –
she earned a BS in Chemical Engineering.  That’s not quite what I expected.  I
had copies of her marriage certificate, her medical records, her divorce
decree, her lease application for her apartment in this building….  As I flipped
through the rest of it, I felt like something wasn’t quite right.  But I get
paid to be looking for the missing piece of the puzzle.  It’s possible that I’m
just always expecting something to be more than it appears.  But Emma isn’t
like that.  She’s so expressive and open, it’s not like she’s hiding anything.

Later that evening, I kept circling
back to wondering if I had made the right decision to let her run out of my
apartment without talking about things.  I have never considered myself a
“relationship” guy.  In the military – especially as a SEAL – relationships are
hard.  Really hard.  Close-to-impossible hard.  So, a long time ago, I stopped
even considering anything longer than the couple of weeks I might be on shore
between missions.  It just wasn’t worth the investment on my end and the
emotional meltdown the woman always has.  I’d seen it enough.  Pass.  Hard
pass.

But I’m not in the Teams anymore. 
And my job isn’t as hardcore as it used to be.  Yes, sometimes I was in danger,
but it isn’t often and never as dangerous as life as a SEAL had been.  Maybe it
was time for me to consider other options.  Maybe Emma is worth trying
something new.  Maybe….

After pacing my apartment for half an
hour, I finally tapped out a text to Emma.

Were you able to pick up Mia and get home safe?

A few minutes later – that felt like
forever since I just kept staring at my phone – she wrote back.

                       
Yes, thanks.

Now what? 

                       
Good deal.  You girls have a good
night.

I don’t know how to do this.  I’ve
never worried about feelings and dating.  And she has Mia – which makes things
even more complicated for both of us. 

                       
Thanks. You, too.

I needed a game plan.  I have no idea
what it will be, but I have more than 18 years of strategy experience.  I’ll
figure it out.

~Emma~

Monday afternoon, I was hunched over
my desk in my apartment proofreading the last of my work for the day when Carla
called me.  Mia was running a fever and had been acting fussy.  The weather had
gotten cooler and the days were getting shorter – and that means the cold virus
had probably already struck my baby girl.

I stretched my arms over my head,
saved my work and slipped on my flip flops to head downstairs.  Carla was
holding my crying girl when I knocked on the door and she let me inside.  Her
chubby arms reached out to me and her pitiful cries got louder.  Poor girl. 

“Thanks, Carla.  I hope you don’t
catch it.”

“Psh.  I’ve seen much worse than
this.  I will wash my hands and scrub her toys down here.  You snuggle that
poor baby and make sure she drinks plenty.  Call me if you need me.”

She patted me on the shoulder as we
headed back to our apartment.

I got Mia to try a little juice, but
she was tired and whiny and refused to be put down.  I finally took her to my
room so I could put on my comfy pajamas and grab an extra blanket so we could
snuggle on the couch.  One of the first lessons of motherhood:  sometimes it is
impossible to multi-task.

An hour of cartoons later, Mia was
sleeping on my chest.  She’s definitely running a fever – she and my chest were
wet with her sweat.  With the stealth of a ninja mommy, I shifted to the edge
of the couch, taking the blanket and Mia with me.  I slowly stood up.  She
whimpered and shifted as she became more vertical and I froze.  After a minute
or so, she was sleeping soundly again.  A slow sneak down the hall and I started
the agonizing process of getting her into her crib.  I put the blanket in with
her since it was still warm, hoping the cool sheets wouldn’t wake her up. 

I did it!  She was in her crib and
still sleeping.  After a short victory dance in the hallway, I hit the kitchen
to make a quick dinner.  After I ate and rinsed my dishes, I headed to my room
to shower. 

Nope.  Mia’s cries stopped me before
I even got the water going.  It was going to be one of those nights.

After an exhausting night with Mia in
my bed because she refused to be away from me, I woke up to my alarm going
off.  Mia was glued to my side with her feet against my ribs and her head
tucked into my neck.  Her head was pinning my hair to the bed, so there was no
way to turn off my alarm without moving her.  I will totally own up to the fact
that I just lie there for a few minutes, wishing Mia wasn’t sick and that I
didn’t have stuff I needed to do today.  Supermom is every mom, every day.  But
I didn’t feel like it today.

I finally shifted her enough to free
my hair – leading to her crying immediately – and shut off my alarm.  My girl
was covered in dry snot and her face was hot to the touch.  It looked like a
bath was in order first thing this morning.

While I was running the water, I
pulled the vaporizer down from my closet and got it running in the bathroom, too. 
I didn’t want the water to be too hot because her fever was already over 102,
but I turned on the heater in the bathroom to keep her from getting cold. 

I carried Mia back to my room to grab
my phone from the charger so I could verify the schedule for this week in case
I needed to change anything and saw that I’d missed a few texts this morning –
from Jason.  As I was reading them, there was a knock at the front door.

                       
Everything alright over there?

            Heard
the alarm going off for a while.  You girls

okay?

Emma.  I
need you to answer me or I’m going to come over.

Crap.

I glanced out the peep hole and saw
him following through on that last text.

“Jason, we’re fine.  Sorry my alarm
woke you up.  I…forgot about the… walls.  Sorry.”  I said through the door.

“Em.  Open the door please.”

“I’m -.  We’re –“

“Emma.  Open the door.”

I’m pretty sure I growled at him as I
unlocked the door and swung it open.  He took a quick look over us and his
facial expression changed immediately.

“Is she sick?”

“Yes.  I picked her up yesterday
because she had a fever –“

“What can I do?”

I stared at him.  Aside from Heather
and Carla, I can’t remember when someone has offered to help me at any point in
the past few years.

“Em?  Are you running a bath?”

I snapped out of it and ran to shut
off the water.  It was already too late.  There was water covering the floor of
the bathroom and seeping into the carpet of the hallway.  And the dash to the
bathroom started Mia’s crying again.

“Dang it.”  My pajama pants were wet
at the bottom now, the bathroom was flooded, Mia was shrieking in my ear and it
wasn’t even eight in the morning.  I needed a do-over.

“I got this, Em.  Give me ten minutes
and she can have her bath.”

“Jason – “

He put his hands on my shoulder and
crouched down enough to put us at eye level.  “Emma.  Go.  Change pants.  Bath
in ten minutes.”  He turned me around and gave me a gentle push toward my own
room.

I went.

I set Mia on my bed and dashed to get
dressed.  I grabbed a hair tie off my nightstand and pulled my hair into a
quick, messy ponytail.  What I really wanted was to brush my teeth, but that
was impossible with him in the bathroom….

I picked Mia back up and snuggled her
close as she cried.  She was so miserable.  I walked with her to the kitchen
and took her temperature again.  102.4. 

“Okay, kid.  Let’s get you some
medicine.”  As I was measuring her dosage while balancing her on my hip, Jason
walked past me carrying an armful of wet towels.  He threw all of them into the
washing machine, opened the cabinet for detergent and started the washer.  His
jeans were wet at the knees and the neckline of his shirt was damp from sweat. 
There had never been a sexier man in my life.  Ever.

“I’ll have maintenance bring a fan
for the carpet in the hallway.  But the bathroom is good to go.”

“Thank you so much.”

He started walking to the door, so I
followed him.  When we got here, he turned and put his hands on my shoulders
again, giving me a squeeze.

“Are you going to be okay?”

I nod.

“I’ll be out most of the day, but
I’ll be back around seven.  If you need anything from the store or anything,
text me.  Okay?”

“Okay.”

I stand completely still as he leans
in and presses a kiss to my forehead before he runs a hand down Mia’s back. 

“Hope she feels better.”

“Thanks, Jason.  For everything.”

He smiled as he stepped out into the
hallway.

I knew he would wait outside until I
lock it.  So I just stood there….

“Emma…” I heard through the door.

I laughed softly and slid the
deadbolts home.

“I heard that.”  There was laughter
in his voice.  “I’ll talk to you later.”

~Emma~

A few hours after Jason left us,
Carla showed up with lunch and held Mia so I could take a shower and catch up
on my work e-mail.  Jason had stopped at her apartment before he left to let
her know I was struggling and asked her to check in with us.  Carla smirked
when she told me about it and the sparkle in her eye told me she was all for
the two of us being “together.” 

“Miguel says Jason is a good guy. 
Navy man, yes?  You should ask for pictures.  Men in uniform are why cameras were
invented.”  She laughed when I just gaped at her.

“What?  I might be old, but I’m not
dead!  He is very handsome.  And he looks at you like he wants to eat you up. 
You look at him the same way.” 

I just shook my head at her. 
“Carla.  Are you matchmaking?  I’ve only known Jason for a little while.  He’s
a nice guy, but I don’t think he’s interested in me that way.”

“Hmmm,” was her response. 

“Let me send out a few of these by
e-mail and I’ll be good for the day.  Maybe twenty minutes?”

“That’s fine.  No hurry.”  She had
Mia on her shoulder and bounced her as she walked around the apartment humming.

When I finished dealing with work, I
took Mia from her and thanked her again.  She promised to check on us again tomorrow. 
She winked and said she’d bring lunch again, so I shouldn’t make anything. 

I called Heather and cancelled our
dinner plans since Mia was so sick.  Heather told me about some stuff going on
at the bar and reminded me that I’d owe her a raincheck for cancelling our
standing girls’ night.  I laughed and promised we would do something as soon as
Mia was feeling better.

By dinner time, Mia was burning up
and crying pitifully no matter what.  Her fever was over 102.  I read online
about alternating medicines since she’d had acetaminophen just an hour before
and her fever was still too high.  Finally, I called the doctor’s office.  The
after-hours on-call doctor called me back and I explained what I was dealing
with before he tells me what to do.  Alternate acetaminophen and ibuprofen
every two to three hours.  If her temp stays above 102, try a lukewarm bath and
see if she’ll take a popsicle or a cool drink.  If none of that works or if she
starts getting lethargic or seems like she’s having trouble breathing, we go
straight to the ER.

I didn’t have popsicles.  I had ice
cream, but dairy in her belly sounded like a bad idea.  I considered calling
Carla, but I’m sure she won’t have any, either, which means she will have to go
out to buy them for me….  I’m obviously not going out to get anything with her
crying and feeling so miserable. 

Jason.  Jason should be heading home
soon.  Maybe he can stop and pick up some popsicles on his way back.

Hey.  Is
there any way you can stop and pick up

popsicles for Mia?

He responds almost instantly.

            J: 
Sure.  What kind? 
How’s she feeling?

E: 
If
they have Pedialyte brand, that would be great.  Otherwise, something that
isn’t guaranteed to stain my couch or carpet?

E: 
She’s
about the same.  Fever won’t stay down.

J: 
Dang. 
Okay.  I’ll be there in about 45 mins.

E: 
Thanks
a bunch, Jason.

J: 
Not a
problem.

Almost an hour later, he knocked on
the door.  Mia was sleeping on my shoulder, so we both met him at the door.  He
made an expression of sympathy when he saw her poor flushed little face, then
he stepped inside carrying four bags from the nearest supermarket.  I followed
him to the kitchen and he started whispering while he unloaded the bags.

“They didn’t have Pedialyte popsicles
already frozen, so I got some that you have to freeze and I also got some
regular popsicles that are already cold for her.  They didn’t have any that
were the push up kind like the Pedialyte ones, so I bought some of the
all-natural fruit ones that are coconut, so they’re white.”

“Those will work fine.  Thank you.”

“I also got you two bottles of the
Pedialyte liquid and more of the fever medicine you’ve been using, in case you
run out.”

I was pretty much speechless at that
point.  He had thought of everything Mia might need and bought it all without
me asking him to do it.  He held up the last bag so I would pay attention.

“This bag is for you.  The vitamin C
stuff to help you not catch this crap, an extra box of tissues and some cold
medicine in case you do, chicken soup because it’s supposed to make anyone feel
better and dark chocolate because… well.  Women like chocolate, right?”  He
smiled sheepishly at this last comment.

I stepped forward and hugged him with
the arm not holding Mia.  He rubbed one hand up and down my back for a second
and lightly rubbed the other over Mia’s sleeping head.

“Thank you.  For all of this.  For
this morning.  I really appreciate it.”

“I offered, Emma.  I’m glad I could
help.”

He kissed the top of my head and then
walked to the front door and stepped into the hall.  “Let me know if you need
anything.  I mean that.”

“I will.  Thanks again.  Good
night.”  I locked up after he left and Mia and I settled in for the night.

            Mia and I were lying in bed feeling sorry for
ourselves the next morning, Wednesday, when I heard the knock at the door.  I
grabbed my robe and looked out the peephole.  I couldn’t see anyone, but there
was a box in front of my door and what looked like…a coffee cup?  I snatched
the door open as fast as I could get the locks undone and discovered Jason
leaning against the wall in front of his own door.  I yelped a little when I
saw him.  Partially in surprise, but mostly because I knew I looked like death
warmed over.

            “Donuts and hot tea….  You look like I didn’t
bring the vitamin C soon enough.  I’m sorry.”

            He walked to me and hugged me, kissing my
forehead before he bent over and handed me the box and the cup.  Mia was
starting to fuss inside.

            “I’ll be by later to check on both of you.  Carla
said she’d be bringing you lunch, too.  Try to get some rest.  Call me if you
need me – I should be working from home most of the day…”

            I managed to clear my throat enough to say “thank
you” before I took my breakfast back inside. 

            We laid around all morning with the television
playing cartoons.  I was getting worse instead of better, even after taking
medicine.  Mia fell asleep around 11, so I text Carla and asked if we could
have lunch for dinner so I could lie down and take a nap, too.  She said she’d
see us later, no problem.

The afternoon was hellacious.  Mia
started to feel better – which is great but not so great for me– so she was
ready to play and run around even though her nose was leaking like a faucet and
her cheeks were flushed and chapped.  I was a zombie.  I let her eat an entire
bag of goldfish crackers and the television never turned off or left the
cartoon channel she loved. 

Around 5pm, there was a knock at the
door.  I was lying on the couch napping in between jerking awake to be sure Mia
wasn’t trying to kill herself.  I couldn’t even force myself to get up and
answer the door.  I was bone tired and just felt horrible.

The good news was it was Carla at the
door and she had her own key, so I didn’t have to get off the couch.  The bad
news was she had Jason with her.  Carla clucked her tongue at me and our mess
and immediately stuck Mia in her high chair for dinner.  Jason came to the
couch, slid his arms under me and picked me up.  I was appalled that he saw me
like that, but I was too sick to protest.  I leaned my cheek against his
shoulder and soaked up his strength and warmth.  I’ve been so cold.

He set me down on my bed and rummaged
through my drawers, grabbing clean panties and pajamas.  He squatted down in
front of me and asked if I could manage to get undressed and dressed alone.  I
have no idea what expression was on my face – mortification,
helplessness…horror – but he patted me on my leg and left my room.  He sent
Carla in to help me while he kept an eye on Mia.

Carla wrapped me in my robe and
walked me down the hall, insisting that I needed to soak in the tub and be
clean before I changed.  I agreed.  She drew my bath and helped me undress and
get in.  She used Mia’s rinse bucket to wash my hair for me and then told me to
relax and soak up the heat. 

I dozed off and woke up when Carla
came back in to help me out of the tub.  She helped me out and I dried myself
off haphazardly before she helped me get dressed.  Then she grabbed my robe and
guided my arms through.  She picked up my brush and leave-in conditioner off
the counter and guided me back down the hall.

Mia was yelling at the table and
Jason was trying to entertain her to keep her quiet.  His expression of relief
when he saw Carla was laughable.  All it takes to unsettle a big, bad SEAL is a
little 22 month old girl. 

Carla sat me down on the couch and
went to help Mia get cleaned up.  Jason went back down the hall and came back
with my blow dryer.  He scooted me over so he could sit against the arm of the
couch and moved me so my back was to him but I could lean against the back of
the couch for support.  And then he brushed my hair.  After working the tangles
out, he turned the hair dryer on low and brushed it dry.  He was gentle and
comforting and I totally fell asleep while he was doing it.  He woke me up to
take medicine and then he carried me back to my bed, helped me pull my arms out
of my robe and tucked me in.  I remember him kissing me on top of my head
before I passed out.

Thursday morning I woke up to
sunlight streaming in my bedroom windows.  Mia never sleeps that late and I
panicked and jumped out of bed.  When I jerked open my bedroom door, though, I
was confronted with a sight that I was unprepared to see.  Jason and Mia were
playing with blocks in front of the television.  PAW Patrol was playing
quietly.  Jason smiled at me and asked how I was feeling.  His grey eyes
crinkle at the corners and the grey turned nearly silver.  I smiled back at him
in a fog and then dashed to the bathroom.

When I came back out, I felt almost
human.  I was running at about 50% of my normal, but it was a whole lot better
than the day before.  Jason was standing at the kitchen counter when I walked
in and handed me a cup of coffee and more medicine.  Even in my foggy state of
mind, I appreciated the way his jeans hugged his hips and thighs.  His black
polo outlined his strong shoulders and hard pecs.  The black made his eyes more
brilliantly silver than the sedate grey they seemed to be at other times.  He
was a beautiful man.

“Carla said two more doses and you
should feel better.”

I smiled at him and said “I already
feel a lot better.  I don’t know what I would have done last night if you and
Carla hadn’t come over.”

He stepped
closer to me and set his hands on my

shoulders.  “You were supposed to let me know if you needed
anything.  You’ve got to let people help you when you need it, Em.”

Tears filled my eyes.  He took my
coffee cup from my hand and set it on the counter before pulling me into a
hug.  I wrapped my arms around his waist and just absorbed him.  I have no idea
why it made me tear up.  It’s not like I didn’t have other people who cared
about me.  Heather is my best friend and I know she would drop anything going
on in her life for me or Mia at any time.  But there’s something different
about this big, strong man who is being so tender with me.  When he let me go
eat my breakfast and go back to bed, I told myself I needed to be careful with
my heart.  Jason Davies could destroy it so easily….

I napped off and on the rest of the
day and he worked on his laptop while keeping an eye on Mia.  He slept on the
couch again that night.

Friday morning, I rolled out of bed
feeling almost 100% back to normal.  As I was opening my bedroom door, Jason
was coming in the front door.  I looked at him in surprise and he smiled.  He
gave me a quick hug and explained that Carla had already come and gone – she
took Mia back downstairs to give me the day to try to work or rest, whichever I
needed most.  He had an appointment, so he was about to wake me up to let me
know he was leaving.  He also had a business trip that would take him out of
town tonight, but he should be back late Saturday night.

As he was leaving, after he kissed my
forehead, I caught his hand in mine to stop him from closing the door.

“I was thinking.  Maybe Sunday… we
could … have dinner?  You and me and Mia?  I owe you a good meal for taking
care of us.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Em.  I’m
just glad I was here and could help you.  It worries me that you girls are over
here on your own sometimes.”

I laughed.  “I think you’ve been
trained to worry.  We’ve been fine on our own for a while.” 

He smiled softly and leaned in to
kiss me gently on the corner of my mouth.  I could tell by the tension in his
body that it took a lot for him to pull back just then.