Brave the Heat (15 page)

Pulling into the cracked paved driveway of the old Colonial house, Gavin threw a prayer to the universe that whatever went down tonight would give Jordan a certain amount of peace. She hopped out of the truck before he even put it into park. She ran up the porch steps to greet her mother, who was standing in the doorway, a grim expression on her face. Wasting no time, Gavin hightailed it out of the truck and was a few steps behind Jordan as she followed her mother into the front hall.

“Gavin.” Claire nodded at him before turning her weary gaze to her daughter. “It’s been a while.”

“What’s going on, Mom?” Jordan asked breathlessly before Gavin could respond. “Is he—”

“He’s been goin’ on and on, but I can’t make much sense of it most of the time. Although, I think he actually knew who I was…for a moment.” Claire kept her voice low. Lily and Gracie were sitting on the braided rug in the living room watching television, but Gavin could tell they were both more interested in what was happening out here. “You should go on up and say your piece, Jordan. Your daddy ain’t gonna last much longer. His breathing is gettin’ real ragged, and the nurse said he probably ain’t gonna make it through the night.”

Jordan nodded but remained quiet as she settled her sights on the girls. She put her purse down on the little table by the front door. Gavin curled one hand over her shoulder and moved in behind her, gently kissing the top of her head. Jordan leaned into him, instinctively seeking comfort.

“Are you alright?” Gavin asked quietly. “Do you want me to take the girls outside or down to the park for a little while?”

“No.” Jordan shook her head and squared her shoulders, as though bracing herself for a challenge. “I’m not the only one who should have a chance to say good-bye.”

“Do you really think the girls should see him like this?” Claire asked, shuffling her feet. She flicked her wide eyes to Gavin briefly, as though asking him for help. “They ain’t never met him, Jordan. Well, Lily’s been awful curious and peekin’ round the corners of the stairs sometimes when I go up to check on him, but I don’t know if you should have ’em go up there.”

“I know, Mama. But the more I think about it, the more I think keeping the girls away from him was a mistake. Just one of many that I’ve made.” Taking her mother’s hand in hers, Jordan pulled her in for a quick hug and kissed her on the cheek. “But this is one mistake I can fix right now.”

“Girls? I need to speak to you about something important.” Slipping from her mother’s embrace, she crossed into the sparsely decorated living room and shut off the television. Taking both the girls by the hands, she pulled them to their feet before giving each of them a huge hug. “You know that my daddy is sick. Right?”

“Yes.” Lily nodded as Gracie inched closer to her. “Meemaw said he’s going to heaven soon.”

“That’s true.” Jordan dropped to her knees and gathered their little hands in hers. “I’m going to go upstairs and sit with him for a little while so that I can say good-bye. Now, I know you girls haven’t met him, but I wanted to give you the chance to see him before…”

Her voice wavered and the pained sound of it hit Gavin like a ton of bricks, making him want to pull her into his arms. But he didn’t. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he shifted his weight and stayed in the archway, not taking his eyes off Jordan or the girls.

Lily seemed more curious than afraid, but little Gracie was another story.

“I don’t wanna,” Gracie said quickly. Shaking her head, she ran over to Claire and clung to her skirt before burying her face in it. “Can we make cookies, Meemaw?”

“It’s okay, baby.” Claire stroked the child’s head with quivering fingers and took her by the hand. Her raspy, almost paper-thin voice echoed through the entry hall as she forced a smile for her granddaughter. “How about if we eat some of those cookies we already made this afternoon? You ate all of your dinner, so it seems to me that you get to have your dessert. How about that?”

Gracie nodded furiously and bit her lower lip.

“That’s a fine idea, Gracie.” Jordan rose to her feet, Lily’s hand clutched tightly in hers. “You go with Meemaw, but be sure to save us some of those yummy cookies.”

Gracie smiled at her mother and nodded before throwing a shy glance in Gavin’s direction.

“We’ll be in the kitchen if you need us,” Claire whispered. “Come on, baby.”

Giving Gavin a quick pat on the arm, Claire led Gracie away through the dining room before disappearing into the kitchen at the back of the house.

“Lily?” Jordan walked into the hallway with her daughter. Lily was the spitting image of her mother, so much so that they could have been twins. In fact, Gavin thought, she looked just like Jordan had when her family first moved to town. Stopping at the foot of the staircase, Jordan white-knuckled the banister. “Do you want to come with me to see your grandfather, or would you rather go have cookies with Gracie? Either way is fine with me.”

Lily swiped a strand of long blond hair from her eyes and looked from her mother to Gavin. Grabbing Jordan’s hand with both of hers, she fiddled with the silver ring on her mother’s pinky finger and stared at it intently before turning her large brown eyes upward.

“Mama?” Lily leaned against Jordan’s legs while peering up at Gavin. “Can the chief come too?”

“I don’t know, Lily,” Jordan said hesitantly.

“Of course I’ll come.” Gavin smiled at Lily and winked. “I am paid to protect the people of Old Brookfield, aren’t I?”

“Uh-huh.” Lily nodded before giving her mother a wide-gapped grin. “He’s gonna come with us, Mama, ’cause he’s the chief and he’ll keep us safe.”

How was it possible for one little girl to make Gavin feel like a big pile of mush? Something inside his chest ached, and as he looked from Lily to Jordan, he knew in that moment his life was forever altered. Not only was he still in love with Jordan—that was now more apparent to him than ever—but he was falling head over heels for her little girls too.

His goose was officially cooked.

Jordan, her eyes rimmed with tears, simply nodded her agreement. She held her daughter’s hand and ascended the narrow, creaking staircase to the second floor. Gavin stayed close behind and his heart did a somersault when Lily peered over her shoulder, as though making sure he was still there. Giving her a thumbs-up, he followed them up the steps.

When they reached the landing, Jordan stopped outside the bedroom door and squatted down to speak with Lily face-to-face. Gavin knew Jordan was a good mother, but seeing the way she was with her daughters drove it home. The woman was smart and loving, and had a steely strong core that would put most men to shame.

“If you get scared or feel like you want to leave, then let me know.” She took Lily’s face in her hands and kissed her gently on the cheek. “Okay? You ready?”

Lily nodded but said nothing. Gavin gave her a reassuring wink when she once again checked to see if he was still there.

“I’m right here, kid.” Reaching out, he pretended to pull a quarter from her ear. “Me
and
my bag of tricks.”

Lily’s smile widened as she took the quarter from Gavin’s fingers and Jordan opened the door.

Any doubts Jordan had about bringing Lily to see her grandfather dissipated almost as soon as they stepped into the room. It wasn’t scary or dark, and her father didn’t look like the boogeyman but simply an old man with little life left in him. As it did every afternoon, the sun shone brightly through the windows and there was a vase of colorful wildflowers on the nightstand.

In spite of the situation, the room looked positively cheerful, and Jordan wondered why she’d never seen it that way before. Perhaps she’d been too caught up in her own anger or frustration to see anything else.

The hospice nurse was a lovely Jamaican woman named Bitsy. She smiled broadly when they arrived, instantly putting Jordan at ease. Her braided hair was piled high on her head, giving her an almost regal look. The pink scrubs she wore covered a soft, round body, but her finest feature had to be her bright, beautiful smile.

“Well, now,” Bitsy said, rising from the chair by Jordan’s father’s bed. As usual, he was staring at the wall, openmouthed and with a vacant expression; this time his breathing was more labored. “Look here, my friend. You have some visitors—and a pretty little one at that.” She fixed his blanket so that he was well covered and adjusted the pillow behind his head. “You’re a lucky man to have so many fine people here to see you. He’s been askin’ for you, Miss Jordan.”

“He has?” Hopeful and hesitant, Jordan inched farther into the room and kept her voice low. “Really? When I visited before, he didn’t know who I was.”

“That’s the dementia, miss. It comes and it goes, but today he’s been coming more than going.” Hands on her ample hips, she nodded and gave Gavin the once-over. “Where you been hiding this handsome fella? And a fireman, no less?” She pointed at the emblem on his shirt and shook her head. “The firemen by my house don’t look nothin’ like you.”

“Oh, sorry. This is Gavin.” Jordan’s face heated as she made the introductions. “He’s an old friend.”

“I bet he is.” Bitsy leaned back and looked him up and down. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Gavin. Now then, I’ll go outside and give you some privacy so you can have a nice visit.”

“Thank you, Bitsy.” Lily nestled back against Jordan, who settled her hands on Lily’s shoulders. “Lily wanted to come see her grandfather before…but…”

“Of course she did.” Bitsy tapped Lily’s nose with one finger and flashed that million-dollar smile. She pointed to the colorful drawings on the wall by his bed. “It’s about time she came up here. She made these lovely pictures, and now he can see the pretty girl who made them. Yes, sir.”

The faded, blue-painted wall had been bare days before, but now three drawings with familiar-looking sparkles were taped to it. Lily’s nervousness seemed to ease when she saw her handiwork on display, her little body relaxing against Jordan’s legs.

“You made those for your grandfather?” Jordan asked quietly. “You and Gracie?”

“Uh-huh.” Lily smiled and pointed at them, the quarter Gavin had given her still clutched in one hand. “Gracie’s has the sparkles but I made the other two. We made them at camp, and Meemaw hung ’em up for us today.”

“I gave him something for the pain, sweetie.” Stepping away from the bed, Bitsy leaned in and whispered to Jordan. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Gavin hung back as Jordan settled into the chair by her father’s bedside and pulled Lily into her lap. She could have wept with relief when Gavin automatically agreed to come up here with them and—more so—did it without hesitation. Driving her out to the house was one thing, but coming up here as moral support was quite another. He was no fan of her father’s, but he was obviously becoming a fan of Lily and Grace. She suspected that the man would literally and figuratively run through fire for them—for all of them.

“Dad?” Jordan’s voice was quiet but strong. She wrapped her hand over his frail, wrinkled one lying against the cream-colored blanket. “It’s me, Jordan. And I brought someone special for you to meet.”

The old man blinked, as though finally realizing he was not alone in the room. His body, worn and weak, twitched as he turned his head. He seemed to catch sight of them, but his watery brown eyes didn’t focus on Jordan, as she’d hoped they might. The instant he spotted Lily, however, his gaze widened and a smile bloomed on his gaunt face, his bushy gray eyebrows flying up in wonder.

“Jordan,” he rasped. Lifting his hand, he waved weakly and a brittle laugh rattled in his chest. “Where you been, girl? I been waitin’ on ya.”

“Dad?” Jordan glanced over her shoulder at Gavin, who looked as confused as she felt. Turning back to her father, she scooted to the edge of the chair and hung tightly on to Lily. “I’m Jordan and this is Lily, your granddaughter.”

“You’re gettin’ so big, baby girl,” he said, as though he hadn’t heard Jordan at all. He sucked in a shuddering, labored breath and kept his gaze pinned to Lily. “I love the pictures you made me. Your mama brought ’em to me and hung ’em right there,” he wheezed. “I like lookin’ at ’em, and they sure do make me happy.”

Jordan’s heart ached and tears stung her eyes at the realization. Her father thought that Lily was actually
her
. She kissed the back of Lily’s head and smiled through her tears, hugging her daughter firmly.

“I’m glad you like them,” Lily said, her legs swinging as she sat perched in Jordan’s lap. “I made the one with the stars, and Gracie made the sparkly one ’cause she said sparkles make her feel better when she’s sick.”

“You’re such a good girl.” A brittle cough racked his body. Without Jordan having to say a word, Gavin swooped around the other side of the bed. He tried to help her father, adjusting the pillow so he could sit up, but the coughing soon stopped and devolved into rattled breathing. Between gasping breaths, her father said, “I’m sorry if I’ve been ornery lately, but you know that I love you. Don’t you? Even if I’m ornery,” he wheezed, “I still love you.”

Her throat tight with emotion and with tears blurring her vision, Jordan swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Unable to say a word, too worried that she’d erupt into a weepy mess and frighten Lily, she simply nodded and allowed his words to sink in.

Words she’d waited decades to hear.

In the most unexpected way, her father had given her the one thing she’d wanted. In that instant she knew that everything would be okay—that she’d be okay. Seeing her father weakened by illness and beaten by life, Jordan had a new understanding about him. Like her, he’d made his share of mistakes. Somewhere along the way, he’d lost himself and allowed his regrets to poison him
and
his life. He’d let errors from the past stain his future, and Jordan knew that was not a mistake she wanted to make. He’d used booze to drown his failures, and while it certainly wasn’t an excuse, was it any different from Jordan running away to drown her own?

A moment later, Gavin’s strong hand stroked the back of her head. It took Jordan a minute to realize he’d come back to her side of the room. Glancing up to her left, she felt the tension ease from her when Gavin gave her a reassuring nod, his fingers drifting along the back of her neck.

A rock. The man was an immovable force. Strong, steadfast, and solid. In that moment Jordan knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she wanted Gavin in her life. Not only for today but every day. He was right. They did deserve a do-over.

Everyone deserved a second chance at happiness. Perhaps that was something her father never figured out. He’d never looked for or recognized his chance for a do-over in his life. Maybe he didn’t even think it was possible.

“Do you want to sing a song with me?” Lily asked with the innocence that only a child could have. “My mommy sings it with me sometimes, and Meemaw said that you sang it to Mommy when she was a little girl.”

As Lily started singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” the smile on Jordan’s father’s face widened. Too weak to sing, he simply grinned and wagged his fingers as Lily sang the slightly off-tune melody. The tears fell freely down Jordan’s cheeks.

With her daughter in her arms and Gavin by her side, Jordan vowed she would no longer be defined by the sins of the past.

* * *

Jordan didn’t want to leave her mom alone, and Gavin would be damned if he was gonna drive away with her old man on the verge of dying.

It was a good thing he’d stayed, in the end, because the guy clocked out not long after midnight, with both his wife and daughter by his side. Gavin felt kind of guilty for thinking it, but it was a better send-off than the man deserved. He kept his feelings to himself though, especially after seeing how peaceful Jordan seemed.

As the sun peeked over the horizon and the coroner’s van disappeared around the corner, Gavin stood on the porch and drank his fourth cup of coffee. Leaning against the railing, he pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text to Rick, letting him know what was going on. He got an immediate response saying that Bill would cover Gavin’s shifts for the wake and funeral.

Good
men, good friends, and a damn good team.

Gavin was a lucky man professionally, and for the first time in years, he thought his good fortune might actually be spilling over into his personal life.

Jordan had told him ten different times that he could leave, and each time he’d simply shaken his head before pouring another cup of coffee. The girls had fallen asleep on the couch and he’d helped her carry them upstairs, Jordan taking Gracie, and Lily draped over him like a rag doll. As he carried Lily up the stairs, a warm ache seeped through his chest.

How
in
the
world
could
their
father
have
let
them
go?

Hell, Jordan and her daughters weren’t even his family, and he already blanched at the notion of losing them.

The sound of the screen door creaking open caught his attention, and a moment later Jordan was standing next to him on the porch. Her long, lovely body, the one that always seemed so effortlessly graceful, looked weary and bone tired. Her big, brown eyes were puffy and red from crying, and the light that usually burned from the inside seemed to have dimmed.

“My mother’s finally asleep,” Jordan murmured. “You know, I think she’s almost relieved that he’s gone, and I can’t say that I blame her. Maybe ‘relieved’ isn’t the right word,” she added quickly. “She loved him, in spite of everything. She loved him, but there’s no denying her life with him was more than difficult.”

“She’ll be okay, Jordan.”

“What’s she going to do now? Her whole world revolved around him. Making sure he wasn’t too upset, always walking on eggshells to keep him happy.” Letting out a sigh, she leaned against the post. “I’m worried about her, Gavin.”

Jordan stared out at the horizon, and as her eyes fluttered closed, she folded her arms over her breasts and her body wavered, like flame in a draft. One rush of wind would knock her right over. The woman was exhausted, and for a second, Gavin thought she was going to fall asleep standing up.

“That’s it.” Gavin put the coffee cup on the little wicker table by the window and, before she could protest, scooped Jordan off her feet and into his arms. “You can worry about her, and I’ll worry about you.”

“What are you doing?” Jordan asked through a big yawn. She settled her head on his shoulder and melted against his chest. Gavin tried not to think about how perfectly she fit there, her curves settling into his, like a lock slipping into place. “I’d fight you on it, but I’m too tired, and as we’ve established, I think you like fighting with me.”

“I’m taking you to bed.” He smirked and flicked the screen door open with the toe of his boot. “And believe me, this is not the way I pictured getting you there.”

“You’re a regular scoundrel.” She linked her arms around his neck and snuggled deeper into his embrace. “But there’s too much to do. I have to call the funeral home and—”

“It’s six in the morning, Jordan.” Gavin shook his head and let out a gruff laugh. “Most people are asleep, and you can take care of all that stuff later on with your mom. Right now, you have to get some rest.”

“But what if the girls wake up?” Her voice was sleepier by the second and she fought to keep her eyes open. “They won’t know where I am, and they’ve never slept here before.”

“That bed that they’re in is plenty big enough for all of you.”

Gavin climbed the stairs with ease, keeping his voice to a whisper. He took each step carefully, trying to keep the old boards from creaking. Turning the corner at the top of the landing, he carried her down the hall and gently bumped open the door to the spare bedroom.

“See?” he whispered as he silently brought her into the room. Standing by the edge of the bed, they both looked down at the girls. They were sleeping peacefully, tucked up together like a couple of kittens. “They left you half of the bed as if they were waiting for you to join them.”

It took him a moment to realize Jordan was staring at him. His gut clenched when he shifted his gaze down to hers. He held her soft, warm body firmly against his. Awareness throbbed between them as her fingers drifted along the nape of his neck and his hands tightened their grip on her. The look in her eyes shifted to one of unmistakable desire, and Gavin swallowed hard.