Breakaway (16 page)

I love you, Smarty.

Forever yours, Levi

Three cards, almost as if each represent a period in the game. A game where I was penalized for my wrongdoing. Hopefully, these cards can help me kill that penalty, just like my teammates would do. Over at the apartments, I check to make sure that no one is around to see me. I leave the first card in her mailbox and wait.

Another day passes and I don’t hear anything from her.

I place the second underneath one of the windshield wipers on her car.

Nothing.

Lastly, I tape envelope number three to her door. My very last chance.

Presley

I sit at my kitchen table staring at the three cards. Seeing Levi’s handwriting just tears my heart out. When he came over with Trevor, I still was angry at him, but when I looked into his blue eyes, all I saw was pain. But I’m not going to let it sway me. He used me and he did it to hurt my brother, but in the end I still love him. It makes me mad that I do, but I do. I can’t forgive him though. I just can’t. Yet, I stare at the cards.

“Pres,” Trevor yells as he comes in.

“In the kitchen.” I pick up the cards and put them in the closest book near me.

“Wow, you look like shit.” Trevor looks me up and down.

“Shut up.” I stand to walk past him to finish getting ready.

“We have to be out of here within 30 minutes. Will you be ready?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I shut the bedroom door and look in the mirror. Okay, Trevor was right. I do look like shit. My eyes are still puffy from crying every night. My hair isn’t fixed, and I’m still in my pajamas. We are heading to meet my dad at the Rangers-Penguins game in the city and if my dad sees me like this, he will flip out.

I walk into my bathroom and turn on my curling iron. Going back into my bedroom, I open my closet, trying to decide which jersey I’m going to wear tonight. I look to the left side of my closet which is completely black from all my Penguins gear. I flip through my jerseys: Sidney, Marc-Andre, Neal, all the while my eyes tear up again. Would I own a Carr jersey if he goes to Pittsburgh? Would I cheer if he is on the same line as Sidney? I can’t think about it now, I need to go be the perfect, quiet daughter. I jerk down my number seventy-one long sleeve shirt and throw it on with a pair of jeans. I quickly throw on a layer of makeup. I toss my hair into a ponytail and curl the ends. I walk back into the living room and slip on my tennis shoes.

“Are you ready?” Trevor asks as he grabs the door handle.

“Might as well get it over with,” I huff.

~ ~ ~

I hate city traffic. It’s always bumper to bumper and there is nowhere to park. However, my brother finds a spot and we walk our way through the crowds to enter to the Rangers-Penguins game. I head straight for the concession stand and grab two beers. I down one as fast as I can.

“Dad doesn’t like it when you drink,” Trevor says in my ear.

“Ask me if I care right now?” I snap back at him.

“Presley, please. Don’t go all crazy tonight. Not in front of dad.” Trevor looks at me sternly. I know what he means. My dad doesn’t like to cause a scene and I know I shouldn’t push any buttons. I nod at Trevor and sip my beer. We head to our seats and dad is already sitting there.

“Trevor, my son, how are you?” Dad wraps Trevor into a big hug and pats his back. “Presley.” My dad just pats my shoulder. Figures, I don’t get a hug. I just plop down in my seat and chug my beer down. “Presley, sit up straight,” my dad commands and I do. Dad sits between us and I begin my stare down with the ice. The warms-ups have started, and I’m watching my boys in their white away jerseys. Dad and Trevor are talking away to each other, but I’m still not included.

“What do you think Presley?” Dad asks.

“Huh?” I look at him like he just grew a third eye.

“I asked what you thought about getting some food after the game?” Trevor looks around dad and at me. We don’t need to say anything because we both are in shock. My dad never asks me about anything. So, all I can do now is nod my head.

“Great. I think that tacos sound good.” I feel like I’m in some sci-fi movie and dad is the alien. I shake my head and stare back out at the ice. 

The game starts and we all are on our feet yelling and clapping for our teams. The game is intense and every play has us all on the edge of our seats. The game and the intermissions all go by so fast. My dad only talked to me that one time, but Trevor tries to have me join in the conversations; it doesn’t work.

Rangers win, which is okay with me because I still got to see my players on the ice and I enjoy that a lot. We leave and head down the street to our favorite taco place. It’s busy, but we are able to get food and a table. We eat in silence, like always, until dad makes conversation. He talks about his job, Trevor’s hockey career, and I just sit there.

“Presley, you’re quiet tonight. Anything on your mind?” I’m brought out of my trace when my dad speaks to me.

“Um, no daddy.” I shake my head. I know better than to talk about my sorrows with my dad. He never cared before, why would today be different?

“Trevor, go and grab us some more drinks.” Dad hands Trevor money.

“Presley, Trevor told me what happened with Levi. Are you okay?” Shock is the only emotion I’m feeling right now. My father has never cared about my relationships, ever.

“Daddy, what are you doing?”

“I’m talking to you.” He looks at me like I’m the one that is crazy.

“Why? You never talk to me.” Maybe dad is having some type of midlife crisis.

My dad sighs. “Ok, so we haven’t talked a lot before, but you’re my daughter and I know how much you care for Levi. I want to make sure you are okay.”

“Daddy, you met him once and how do you know how much I cared for him?”

Dad laughs. “I may have only met him once, but I saw the look in your eyes and the look in his. I’m old, but not a fool. He loves you and you love him.” I don't want to cry in front of my dad. All these years and he never says anything to me and now he cares.

“Why are you telling me this Daddy?” My voice is low and cracks when I speak. I swallow down the lump that is stuck in my throat.

“Well, I have been talking to your mother, which I know you’re aware of this, and I remember being young and in love. I also know that men are stupid.” I can’t help, but laugh. “But, sometimes the stupid things we do have good intentions. Trevor told me what Levi said to you at your apartment and I think Levi’s intentions were wrong at first. However, he did see the error of his ways and I think you should at least talk to him. If nothing else, you will have closure.” My dad pats my hand, and I’m still in shock as I process his words. My dad just gave me some great advice. I love Levi and I should really sit down and listen to him.

“Thank you, Daddy.” I reach over and hug him. It’s been so long since I had really hugged him and it feels good.

Trevor comes back with our drinks and we have a great evening. Once we finish, we say goodbye to dad and head back to our houses. Trevor and I make small talk on our ride and I’m so pleased about my talk with dad.

“So, are you going to talk to Levi?” Trevor asks as we pull into my parking lot.

“Yeah, I’m going to call him. But I don’t know if I’ll forgive him.” Levi will forever hold a place in my heart, and I love him. Nonetheless, I know the difference between love and forgiveness.

“That’s up to you, but I do agree with dad, you need closure.” My brother hugs me, and I go to my apartment.

Sitting at the kitchen table, I pull out the three cards he left me and stare at them. I turn on my iHome and listen to the room fill the air with our song. Tears stream down my face from the ache of missing him. Can I forgive him, though? He hurt me and my brother. That is unforgivable. I think of all the times we were together. I laughed a lot with him and had a great time. I thought about him when I wasn’t with him and I wanted him all the time. Not just for sex, but just to lay next to and spend time with. I sigh and stare at the cards more.

When the song ends, I call his phone, but it goes to voicemail. My heart twists hearing his voice on the phone. “Levi, it’s me. I would like to sit down and talk to you. Call me, please.” I think of what night it is and remember that Levi has a late game at RU. I look at the time and realize I can make it over there before it ends. I grab my keys and rush over there.

~ ~ ~

It’s cold standing outside the players entrance for Levi, but I want to have this talk now. Putting it off just isn’t going to help anything between us. A few players pass me and then I see Gavin and Nichols. I roll my eyes at Nichols, but I don’t my mind Gavin too much.

“Hey guys, is Levi coming out soon?” I try not to look at Nichols.

“Um, Presley, um, Levi isn’t here.” Nichols stammers to me.

“What? Levi missed a game?” I look at Nichols this time.

“Hey, listen. I’m really sorry about everything that went down a few weeks ago. Levi really cares about you and I shouldn’t have done that to you and him.” Nichols looks nervous, but all I do is nod.

“Where’s Levi?” He never misses a game. I know how much hockey means to him. “Is he hurt or something?” Gavin and Nichols look at each other.

“Levi didn’t want you to know, but his dad is in the hospital. He had a heart attack,” Nichols says sadly.

“What? When? Is he ok? What hospital is he at?” My heart is hammering out of my chest as I think about Levi and his dad. Victor is such a great man. I know that is the only family Levi has left, too. “Why aren’t you assholes with him?” I suddenly become mad at them. They just left him alone.

“He didn’t want anyone with him and he told us to play,” Gavin says.

“His dad is in bad shape and he’s at county hospital,” Nichols adds. I take off in a run to my car. I need to get to Levi. I need to be with him and make sure Victor and him are okay. He can’t go through this alone and I will not let him do it alone. I jump in my car and race to the county hospital. Luckily for me, the hospital isn’t that far from me and I make it in record time.

I quickly enter the hospital, going to the front desk and asking for Victor Carr. The lady gives me the room number and I know that he’s in ICU. I don’t have time to wait for the elevator, so I take the stairs.

“Young lady, you’re not allowed up here.” A nurse says from behind the nurses stations.

“I’m going into Victor Carr’s room.”

“You have to be immediate family to be here.”

I know that it’s wrong to lie, but I need to be with Levi and Victor. “I’m his daughter-in-law.”

“Oh, okay. I wasn’t aware he had one. Well, your husband is in the room.”

My heart skips a beat when she calls Levi my husband. I turn and make it just outside the room and I try to catch my breath. I’m scared of what is behind the door.

I slowly push it open, and I hear the beeping of the machines. I peek around the curtain and I see Victor laying in the hospital bed. He is pale and looks so frail. He has wires and IVs everywhere. Levi is standing and looking out the window. He doesn’t know I’m in the room. I don’t want to scare him, so I just take another step into closer.

“Levi,” I whisper his name, as not to startle him. He whips around and he looks terrible. He looks tired, ragged, and I can tell he has been crying. He is completely shocked, his eyes wide.

“Smarty,” his voice cracks. I can’t help it, I run into his arms. He hugs me tightly and I feel his tight body relax around me. “How did you get back here? It’s family only.”

“I told them I’m Victor’s daughter-in-law.” He pulls back and stares at me. There is a slight smirk on his face.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I feel the tears coming. He hugs me tighter and he kisses the top of my head.

“I figure you didn’t want to talk to me. I left those cards and I never heard back from you.” His voice is sad as we pull out of the hug, but he doesn’t let go of my waist. I wrap my hands around his biceps.

“I got the cards, but you should’ve called.” Tears are streaming down my face and I want to kiss him so badly. “How’s your dad?” I look over my shoulder to see that Victor is still out.

“Better. He had a heart attack and right now, he is sedated. The doctor is hopeful he will make a full recovery. How did you know I was here?” He pushes a stray hair that came loose from my ponytail behind my ear. I shiver under his touch.

“Nichols told me. I was waiting for you outside the players entrance. I needed to talk to you and I left a message on your voicemail. When you didn’t call back, I remembered you had a game.”

Levi looks at me confused. “You need to talk to me?”

I nod. “Yes, I had a talk with my dad tonight and he actually had some insightful things to say.”

“Wow, you talked to your dad?” Levi seems as shocked as I was.

“I know, crazy right? Anyway, he got me thinking about us and,” Levi cups my cheek and his thumb wipes my tear away as I continue, “I love you. I wasn’t sure if I could forgive you, though. It wasn’t until I was racing here that I realized you were all I wanted and I could forgive you. Under two conditions.” I step out of his hold and stare him down. I look into his blue eyes and I can see the happiness is coming back to them from my words.

“Anything, Smarty. I’ll do anything to have you back.” His face grows serious as I hold up my first finger.

“One, you must never, ever, ever hurt me or my brother like that again.” I state firmly.

“I promise. I never want to see that look in your eyes again.”

“And two,” I hold up my other finger. “You have to win me the Stanley Cup.” I hold back my smile.

“You want me to win the Stanley Cup?” He smirks at me.