Breaking the Ice (7 page)

   I watched him in a daze, his strokes building speed, his breaths turning choppy. I grabbed a tissue from the box on the floor and he held my hand over his length as he flinched and unloaded into it.

   “
Fuck
,” he snarled, panted, laughed as his movements slowed and his body sank back on the seat. He grabbed a few more tissues to clean himself off before buttoning up, then grabbed me toward him to brand my lips with a searing kiss. I settled myself on top of him, the both of us trying to catch our breath, my fingers lightly dancing over his naked torso. I laid my head on his chest, hearing his racing heart under my ear.

   He let out with a cleansing breath and growled, “That was insane.”

   Yes. Yes, it was. It was the most incredible non-sex I’d ever had in my life.

   I was still out of my mind, but the real world slowly started to creep back in. Led Zep was singing “Tangerine” on the radio, and I figured it must have been well past midnight if the stations were back to playing slow songs. I curled up against Zac’s side as his hand brushed a sweet caress along my bare skin. The back of my Volkswagen wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to snuggle, but somehow, we made it work.

   Out of nowhere, he said, “I’m kind of crazy about you a little bit.”

   Holy crap, it sounded like he really meant it.

   “What?” I asked incredulously.

   I felt his chest rumble as he let out with a laugh. “It’s true.”

   I nervously tried to make light of his proclamation. “You’re just proud of yourself for getting me naked.”

   “No. Stop joking around. I’m serious, Ave. I liked you right off, and actually had to work really hard to stay away.”

   I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Then why did you?”

   “Well, for starters, I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me. You made it pretty clear from the get-go that you didn’t do the groupie thing.”

   That was true. I didn’t do the groupie thing, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t into the
relationship
thing. I was just unglued enough to actually tell him as much when he spoke up before I could. “But then, you know, we became friends. I figured we were both staying hands-off because of that. Why did
you
stay away?”

   “Pretty much the same reasons as you. I guess I was playing it safe.”

   “Until tonight.” He shot me a wink at that, and I burrowed into the nook of his arm, my fingers flitting across his chest as he let out with an exhale. “I gotta tell you, when I found out who you were… I was crushed. Truly. You were the General Manager’s daughter, for godsakes. I had to keep my distance. I busted my ass all those years on the ice…”

   He trailed off, but I didn’t need to hear the rest of his sentence; I already understood. Of course I did. Hockey was his whole life. There was no way he could risk blowing his whole career just for a random hookup. But then what was so different about our situation now? Was it just easier for him to cave once I finally threw myself at him? The thought had me chuckling to myself.

   “I’m still the GM’s daughter,” I teased. “This could very well be career suicide for you if he ever finds out.”

   He brushed a thumb across my cheek, sending shivers across my skin. He raised my chin so I could look him right in those beautiful green eyes as he said, “Something tells me you’ll be worth it.”

  
You’ll be
. Not
you were
. Oh my God. Did that mean…

   He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stay away.”

   “You’re serious!” I let out in disbelief.

   “I am.” He was smiling ear to ear, as if his admission had removed a heavy weight from his shoulders, set his spirit free.

   “You’re happy.”

   “Yes. I am. Are you?” he asked, most likely aware that I hadn’t yet agreed to the “you’ll be” portion of his statement, this future he had planned for us. It was always incredible to see a bit of his serious side, catch a glimpse behind the cocky, ego-driven façade that he presented to the rest of the world. But seeing him so
vulnerable?
My God. It almost had my heart busting out of my ribcage.

   And he wanted to know if I was happy.

   How could he even ask? I was happier at that moment than I’d ever been in my entire life. Not just because I was curled up in his arms right then, but because
I was the one who made this happen
. Sure, maybe I had a little help from a bit of alcohol, but the fact is, I had come out alone tonight when it would have been easier to stay home. I’d worn a gold dress as a superhero cape, giving me the strength necessary to assert myself. After years of pushing him away, I finally let myself go for it… and the payoff had turned out to be totally worth the risk.

   Until this moment, the only intention I was shooting for was to get my hands on him. I didn’t back down and I didn’t relent until it happened, and I never thought to expect anything more. But the fallout was that I’d achieved a goal I never in a million years ever allowed myself to hope for.

   I’d made Zachary McAllister mine.

   “I don’t know if ‘happy’ even covers it,” I answered, smiling into his eyes.

   He was smiling back when he kissed me.

Chapter Seven

JANUARY 1999

   I woke up with a slight hangover the next morning, but even still, I was singing to myself and bouncing around the house.

   I went downstairs to slam back a huge glass of water and to call a cab. I’d abandoned my poor car in the lot the night before and supposed I’d better get it back before it was stripped completely bare. But when I passed by the front door… my car was already sitting right there out in the driveway. I was only wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, but I ran out into the freezing morning to grab my keys. They were sitting on the driver’s seat along with a note from Zac, explaining that he’d taken care of it. He wished me a good day, and suggested that I meet him at Johnny’s again after practice that night.

   Actually, he didn’t suggest it. He
demanded
it.

  
Sure, buddy. Twist my arm.

   I spent my day counting down the hours until I could see Zac and waiting to hear from Casey. I was confident about the former and not so much about the latter. The wedding was happening today, for godsakes. I figured my friend would be a little too busy to check in.

   I tried to wait until a reasonable time to head to Johnny’s, but I must have been too excited, because I ended up getting there before the team. So, I sidled up to the bar and ordered a beer, figuring they were due any minute.

   But no one showed.

   It was kind of awkward sitting there all by myself, but I did it, thinking maybe practice had just run long. Once I finished my drink, however, I figured something must have come up, and decided to go back home to check my machine… but there was no message. I had Zac’s number and I could have called him but it was already late and I figured it’d just have to wait until tomorrow.

   Dammit.

* * *

   The next morning, Casey woke me out of a sound sleep to tell me all about the wedding.

   “We got the Elvis package. It was hysterical!” she reported. “Simon and I were laughing so hard, I can’t believe we made it through our vows.”

   “That’s so funny! It sounds awesome, Case. Congratulations!”

   “Thanks.”

   “What did you wear?”

   “Well, you might laugh, but I went pretty traditional with my dress. Simon bought me this gorgeous white sheath of a thing. I looked just like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. Only, you know, short and brunette.”

   “Aww. I’m sure you looked gorgeous.”

   “What did
you
wear?”

   “Huh?”

   “New Year’s Eve! What did you end up doing?”

   I was excited to tell her about Zac, but didn’t want to look like I was trying to trump her big news. Besides. I didn’t even know where to start. I got tipsy and threw myself at him until we hooked up
in my car
, for godsakes? At twenty-three and twenty-one, I would have figured we’d earned the right to hook up on a mattress, for crying out loud. We’d have to come up with a better plan for next time.

   “Oh, I ended up at Johnny’s. It was a good night. Played some pool, drank, the usual.”

   “Well, good. I was worried you’d stay home without me there.”

   “Believe it or not, I do have a social life outside of you, brat.”

   That made her laugh. “I know, I know. Hey, we’re coming home tonight, so I’ll come over and show you the pictures, okay?”

   “Sounds like a plan.”

   We were winding our conversation down, but then suddenly, she said, “You know… I didn’t want to ask about Zac, but I’m surprised you haven’t said anything.”

   Jeez. Word sure travelled fast. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I just figured I’d fill you in on the details when you got home.”

   “Well, he already called Simon and told him everything.”

   That was unexpected. But I was curious to hear what he’d said. “He did?”

   “Yeah. He sounded really pissed about it.”

   “Wait,” I said, confused. “What are you talking about?”

   “Dallas, Avery! What do you
think
I’m talking about?”

  
Dallas?
“Case, I may be a bit slow on the uptake here, but I have no idea what Dallas has to do with anything.”

   “You don’t know? Oh Jesus.” Case expelled a deep breath before continuing. “Avery, Zac got traded to Dallas last night. He’s probably already on a plane there now.”

   My stomach sank straight out of my body. “Zac’s been traded? He’s gone?”

   I’d seen his evasive maneuvers with every other girl he’d hooked up with, so it’s not as though I should have been surprised. But we were friends, for godsakes. Did one single hookup put me in the Must-Dispense-With-Immediately Club? Actually up and leaving town without telling me? Even if the trade was a surprise, he could have at least
called
. But he didn’t say anything about it.

   He never even said goodbye.

   I couldn’t stay on the phone an extra minute. I needed to find out if what she’d just told me was the truth. “Hey Case? I’ve got to go.” I felt sick, but I didn’t want her to worry, so I added, “I can’t wait to see you.”

   “Me either. I’ll come over as soon as we get back.”

   Good. I was going to need my best friend with me during something like this.

   “Looking forward to it. See you then.”

   There was a hesitant pause on her end while I waited for her to say goodbye. “Hey Avery?”

   “Yeah?”

   “I’m really sorry. I thought you knew.”

   We hung up the phone and I sat there staring at the floor while I caught my breath. The news was churning my stomach, and I couldn’t make sense of it. As badly as I wanted some verification, I was too afraid to make it real.

   I needed to talk to my father.

   I went downstairs and found him sitting at the dining room table, going over his roster—or, as he normally referred to it: his bible. I repeated the words that had been swirling around in my brain for the past ten minutes. “Hey, umm… McAllister’s traded?”

   Dad didn’t look up from his book. “Yep. Dallas.”

   I already knew it was the truth, but hearing Dad say as much actually confirmed it. I tried to remain calm as I asked, “Who’d we get for him?”

   “Boucher. From Montreal.”

   “Boucher is good.”

   “Yep.”

   I stood there flipping my slipper on and off my heel. “Did he… Did Zac
want
to leave?”

   “He wants to win a championship, just like any other player.” Dad looked up from his bible and finally gave me his full attention. From the look in his eyes, I wasn’t sure I wanted it. “Avery, what is this? You seem awfully interested in my job today.”

   I gnawed on my bottom lip as I checked my cuticles.

   Dad wasn’t buying my attempt to look unaffected. “I thought you knew better than to get involved with any of those guys. McAllister is one hell of a player, but I can’t imagine…” Thankfully, he didn’t finish that line of thought, and simply let out a sigh. “Look, honey. He was good for me, but he
wouldn’t
be good for you. Understand?”

   Oh, I understood it perfectly.

   I couldn’t believe I’d actually fallen for his line of bullshit. I knew he was a dog the first night I met him, and he’d only proven it to me a million times in the years since. Hell, he went out of his way to
show
me how he did it, how easy it was for him to talk a woman into bed.

   Though, I supposed if I was going to be honest, I guess
I
was the one convincing
him
the other night.

   And oh God! The way I looked at him! All adoring and pathetic, virtually confessing my love for him in the backseat of my freaking car for godsakes! Three whole years I spent building up an immunity to his advances, and after a few drinks and some wooing words, I was practically begging him to sleep with me.

   I couldn’t believe he was only lying when he said all those amazing things. I couldn’t believe I bought into it so easily. If this was how he treated his friends, I couldn’t imagine how he treated his enemies.

   “No, yeah. I know. I just didn’t see him out last night and was wondering about it.”

   Dad’s attentions refocused on his bible. “Well, no need to wonder about it anymore. He’s gone.”

   Yes, that was true. I knew it all too well.

   He was gone.