Read Breaking the Rules Online
Authors: Jennifer Lewis
Breaking the Rules (19 page)
“I’ll be honest and tell you that kind of thing scared the hell out of me. I don’t think too many’ll tell you different. But I got in the dinghy and went over with…” He paused and drew in a slow breath. “With Jamie Andrews, a good friend.”
He’d stopped pacing and stared hard at the blank wall. Susana couldn’t see the ugly images in his mind, but his agonized expression played out their reflection. She realized she was digging her nails into her palms, and she tried to unclench her fists and breathe.
“I was about to board when I got a radio call that there were hostages on board. A woman and three children, who’d been snatched at the port. I was ordered to retreat. But I could hear the children screaming…”
He swallowed hard. “They were speaking Spanish, which I knew from my Dad…” He wiped a wrist across his face, which was sweating. “Screaming–‘save us!’ and I… I knew I’d been ordered to turn back, but I couldn’t just leave them…”
He turned and strode in the other direction. “Jamie tried to convince me to retreat to our boat, but I
ordered
him to come with me… I was his superior…” He glanced at Susana, pinning her with a fierce stare. “He came.”
He turned and walked along the wall furthest from her. “There was all kinds of screaming and yelling when we got on board. I didn’t think about anything but getting those kids off the boat. It was a small boat and they were all cowering under a table in the galley downstairs. Jamie held a gun on two men while I grabbed two of the children, both girls, about six years old, and told the mother to bring the third, a toddler. We scrambled up on deck and the mother was just climbing into the dinghy with the youngest child when…” He sucked in a harsh breath and his shoulders heaved. Then he turned and stared at her.
“I don’t know what happened next. I woke up in hospital. Someone fired, I don’t know if it was Jamie or one of the kidnappers, but the whole boat blew. The fuel tank ignited.” He paused and Susana held her breath.
“Jamie died, and the kidnappers. The two children I was carrying drowned when the blast blew me overboard and knocked me unconscious. I’d worn a floatation device so I was rescued and stitched up and lived to tell the tale to a court martial hearing.”
His pacing slowed and he turned to look at her. The regret etched on his face made her heart ache.
“I’m so sorry, Joe. You were doing what you thought was best.”
“The mother and her youngest child lived. That’s what got me off the hook, that I’d saved them. I was in jail, for chrissakes.” He looked at her, his eyes hollow with pain. “I always prided myself so much on being a good Navy man, but in one split second I made the wrong decision and five lives were snuffed out. I can’t ever forgive myself, and the Navy wasn’t too keen to forgive me either. My career was over after that, as well it should be.”
He looked at her, his hands hanging by his sides, “I don’t deserve to be alive. And frankly, I’ve wished I wasn’t.”
“You tried to save the children.”
“I disobeyed a direct order. I trusted my gut. And got seventy-eight stitches in it as a reward. See what happens when I follow my instincts?”
Susana climbed off the bed. Pins and needles pricked her flesh as she moved slowly toward Joe. “You trusted your gut when you kissed me. And I trusted mine when I invited you back to my apartment, even though we’d just met.” She stood in front of him, absorbing the heat and tension coming off his body in waves.
“See what a mistake you made?” His low voice echoed around her, and he looked right into her eyes, defying her to disagree.
“I don’t think it was a mistake.” She held his gaze, while her heart thumped painfully against her ribs. “You’re a good man, Joe.”
“Yeah, a good man responsible for the death of two innocent children and a close friend. And two total strangers who should have had a fair trial, no matter what they did.”
“We all make mistakes.”
“A cliché, but true. And you made one the day you took me in and got me all stirred up about you. Now your cousins know you’ve been a bad girl, and others will find out too if you don’t stay away. Don’t mess up your life, Susana. There’s no going back. I learned that the hard way.”
Her fingers itched to touch him, to absorb some of the pain she could see tormenting him. Every muscle in him was tight. She wanted to release the tension and let him rest. To make everything better. She’d promised she could lift a curse on him but that was just talk. Talk was her only true magic and she knew words had the power to heal, but right now her well was dry.
She didn’t know what to say so she said the first thing that came to mind. “I love you, Joe.”
The muscle ticked in his cheek. “I think you said that before, and you still kicked me out. Love doesn’t count for too much in the real world.”
“Maybe it could.” She licked her dry lips as a whole host of frightening possibilities crowded her mind. Marriage to Joe and exile from her family. Marriage to Frankie and a lifetime without Joe. No matter how she looked at it things weren’t pretty or easy or…
Joe looked right at her, his eyes black and unreadable. “You already made your choice. You know what you need. You’ll build a career for yourself, and you’ll have your family. It’s a good choice, a practical choice. No one can have everything.”
“But you’re my destiny, Joe.” The words rose to her lips along with sudden conviction that they were true. She spoke them very deliberately, meaning every word. “You’re my fate. The reason I never married.” Her palms were hot and she wiped them on her skirt. “I’m meant to be with you. We’re meant to be together. It’s my destiny, as a woman… As a Rom woman.”
“You told me Rom couldn’t marry outsiders. Your family will throw you out. That’s the end of being Rom for you.”
“No. I’ll be Rom until I die.” She paused. They still hadn’t touched, but energy buzzed and hummed between them.
Until Joe came along she’d been drifting along on a predetermined course. She’d made choices based on what she knew others wanted for her. But Joe had showed her she could make her own choices. Just as she’d chosen to ignore her vision of the two of them back when she was young, now she could choose to seize that future with both hands.
“I don’t want any other man but you, Joe.”
“You hardly know me.”
“I know you as if we were born together. You’re in my soul and I’m in yours. I wouldn’t be a good gypsy if I turned away from my true destiny.” A smile pushed its way to her lips. Suddenly everything seemed so simple and obvious she couldn’t imagine why she’d fought so hard against her fate.
“But I’m damaged goods, Susana. You can do better.”
“You’re seasoned, matured…”
A hollow laugh rocked him, “Weathered, like a tough piece of wood.”
His mocking analogy broadened her smile. “You’ve acquired some checks and cracks, the way any broad beam will, but you’re solid. I’d stake my life on you. And I’d like to, if you’ll give me the chance.”
Joe blew out a blast of air. Susana held her breath. She’d asked him to spend his life with her. And now she wanted that future with all the power she possessed.
“You gave me hope, Susana.” He looked at her steadily. His face bore no expression, but his eyes burned through her, heating her blood and quickening her pulse.
“And then I took it away.” Cold seized her fingers and toes. She’d betrayed him once, betrayed herself. Could he trust her now? “I promise you on my life I’ll never do that again.”
“You’d have to give up so much, and I have to give up nothing. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“Ah, but you’re wrong. You have to give up your anger, your sorrow. You’d have to trust in me.”
“I trust your word.” His voice was gruff.
“You shouldn’t. Words are just noise. Trust my body.”
Her fingers shook as she unbuttoned the front of her blouse and parted it. She heard Joe’s breath hitch. She unbuttoned the back of her skirt and let it fall to the floor. Her blouse slid over her shoulders and joined it. Awkwardly she climbed out of her underwear until she was stark naked. The room blazed dark orange in the fading sunset.
“I give you my flesh, my heart.” She’d kept her eyes lowered, but as she looked up they locked onto Joe’s. “To be yours for the rest of my life.”
She heard a strange sound in Joe’s throat. He blinked, his eyes blazing.
She took a step forward. Her skin tingled, stirred by his body heat. She raised her hand and pushed his shirt back over his left shoulder. He shrugged it off and pushed down his jeans until they both stood naked, bathed in amber by the last rays of the setting sun.
Joe stood with his hands by his sides, coiled strength waiting. “You’ve breathed life back into me, Susana. I was dead inside, like a statue…” He paused, staring at her, his eyes suddenly soft, lively, shining with new hope.
“And now you can feel again.”
He nodded and raised a hand to cup her cheek. And the sweet sensation of his skin touching hers sent a ripple of almost agonizing pleasure shivering to her toes.
“I trust you, Susana. You’ve never lied to me.”
“I’ll never lie to you. I’ll never cheat on you.” She spoke with assurance born of total confidence in her own loyalty.
“I know. You’re like me, I can see that now. When you pledge yourself, it’s for life. No matter what.”
She nodded, her heart so filled with love for him that it squeezed painfully.
He lifted his other hand until he cupped her face in his palms, the heat from his hands scorching cheeks that blazed hot with emotion.
“I love you, Susana. Will you be my wife?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll be your wife. From now on we’ll live the same life, share the same destiny. Make our own family.” She looked into his eyes, meeting the intensity of his gaze, and matching it. “My troubles will be your troubles and your troubles will be mine.”
A sweeter burden she couldn’t imagine.
He took her hand tight in his, and for a moment she felt the lines on their palms—head, heart, fate—shift and adapt to each other, their lives taking the same path.
She stepped forward and Joe’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her tight. His chest heaved as emotion racked his strong body. “I pledge myself to you, Susana.” His breath was hot on her ear. “I’ll love you and cherish you and take care of you until the end of my life.”
She believed him with every atom of her being. “I know you will, Joe. And I promise the same to you. We’ve waited a long time for each other, and we deserve to love each other for a long time.”
“Is that a prediction?”
She leaned close, so she could whisper in his ear. Her heart swelled with joy as she held him tight. “It’s a promise.”
THE END
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Copyright © 2013 by Jennifer Lewis
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved.
Published 2013 by Mangrove
2637 E Atlantic Blvd #24692
Pompano Beach, FL 33062
USA
ISBN: 978-1-939941-02-2
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Jennifer Lewis is the bestselling author of more than twenty books. She has lived on both sides of the Atlantic and been addicted to books since she learned to read at age three. Her stories have been translated into—at last count—twenty-two languages and are read on every continent, except maybe Antarctica. She lives in South Florida with her family, and when she isn’t writing she’s usually kayaking.
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