Breaking Through (Atlanta #3) (16 page)

He searched her eyes, trying to see acceptance and understanding there. She couldn't offer him any reassurance in her current state of anguish and confusion. So he continued, apparently needing her to understand what she had a hard time believing.

"You are beautiful inside and out, Jen, and I knew it from minute one, and so did Sophie. From the beginning, I didn't think I'd ever have you. I'm dark and you…you're so bright. I still can't believe you're with some asshole like me."

Jenna shook her head again and let out a single sob.
 

"Stop crying, baby," he pleaded. "Tell me why you don't think you're beautiful."

"I'm so plain," she finally said. "Beautiful is Cassie...or Erin. Nothing about me stands out."

Luke leaned forward and kissed her deeply. When he finally released her from his lips, he whispered to her, "There is nothing plain about you. Come here."

He pulled her arms away from her torso and helped her off the bed so he could lead her straight over to the full-length mirror hanging from her closet door. He stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. She tried to cover herself but he wouldn't let her. Jenna could only gaze at the floor. She was beyond uncomfortable standing there naked in front of the mirror with Luke staring at her every flaw.
 

This was nothing like being naked with him in bed. There, she was under him, covered, and his mind was on gratification. He said what he wanted and she gave. But here, she was totally exposed to every insecurity she'd ever had. This was torture.

"Look, Jenna. Look at yourself and see how perfect you are."

But this time, even though he told her to look, she couldn't. This was all too much to handle. Perfect? No. She certainly did not feel perfect. She closed her eyes and pretended she was somewhere else. He ran his fingers down her arm...and shocked her by moving her own hands up to her breasts.
 

"Fine," he sighed. "If you won't look, then feel. Your body is so soft, Jenna. Your tits are heavy and absolutely flawless. Feel them."
 

He moved his hands tighter around hers, causing her to knead her breasts softly. She noticed, from his point of view, what he meant. She was soft. The same breasts that always seemed too big for trendy tops or a slender profile were now re-imagined into something desirable.
 

"You have the body of a vixen," he breathed. He let their hands linger for a long moment and he kissed her ear softly. Then, Luke moved her hands down to rest over her stomach.

"Spread your fingers out, baby," he whispered. This time, still with her eyes closed, she was able to do exactly as he asked. "Feel how warm you are. I love to rest my head here on your belly. You make me want to curl up and get lost in you. Your skin is so soft, so beautiful…now run your hands down, Jenna. Feel this curve."

Still with her eyes closed, Jenna did. She felt the hour-glass flare of her hips in contrast to her tummy and understood why he called her feminine. Feeling herself without the years of visually-based insecurity, she could actually understand why he saw her as beautiful. Jenna was curvy, not pudgy. Finally, he moved one hand around to her bottom and squeezed with her.
 

"Your ass fits my hands just right. Every part of you does. We're an exact fit, Jenna. I love how your body feels. I don't know how to make you understand. Words aren't my thing, but please know your body is exactly right. I love every curve. It's sexy to me to grab your ass and have something to hold on to. I've never liked scrawny girls with no tits. You're soft. You're
beautiful
."

Jenna leaned into him, wanting to feel his strength and absorb his words. "I want to believe you," she murmured.

"You need to understand," he said intensely. "Because I don't want you to doubt yourself. I'm a lot of dark things, but I'm not a liar."

Jenna turned around and hugged him tight around his ribs. He pulled her in and wrapped his arms strongly around her and rested his cheek on her head. "See how perfect we fit?"

Jenna nodded her head.

"And one more thing," he said. "Your gorgeous eyes see straight into me and you stay with me anyway. And that's something
I
don't understand."

"You're a good man, Luke," she assured him. "That's why I love you."

The words sneaked out without her meaning to.
Crap! Too Soon!
 
They both froze in place for a moment.

"You love me?" he whispered in shock, now the one sounding confused and insecure.

Jenna hesitated for a moment then nodded against his chest. Every nerve stood still as she waited for a response…any response, but all he did was continue to hold her. She wasn't sure if she was still breathing. As she should have realized, he wouldn't use words to respond.
 

His body, however, spoke for him. He moved his hand to cradle her head gently and pull her cheek to rest directly over his heart. She melted into his embrace so he could return his love to her in his own way. He rubbed his hand up and down her back for a while before he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Come to bed with me," he murmured.
 

Jenna nodded against his chest and did what he asked. He lead her by the hand and tucked her into the covers. He never returned the
I love you
, but she was pretty sure he said it with his arms.

"Jen, can I tell you something?"

She nodded, wondering if this was the
I love you
she was hoping for. In some ways, it was.

"I want to take you again," he whispered. "I always do…but I'm not going to. I want you to believe me that I'm not just here for sex. I'm here for everything about you. I care so much and I really do think of you as my angel. Sometimes you don't even seem real."

For the first time, she let herself see things through his eyes. Her shape was feminine rather than pudgy. Her curves were desirable rather than an embarrassment. Her short stature made her a perfect fit to be cradled into Luke's strong chest. Her eyes were warm rather than disappointing. She smiled like an angel.
 

"You really do think I'm beautiful, don't you," she accepted through her breath. He loved her, too. Like he often said, words weren't his thing. She'd have to rely on his actions to know. Based on his physical dedication to her this evening, her insecurities got pushed away.
 

"Of course I do," he smiled softly. "Do you believe me now?"

Jenna nodded. "And Luke?"

"What?"

"I
want
you to take me again," she whispered shyly. She never asked for sex before. He always initiated the physical side of things, and every time she participated willingly. But in this moment, she needed him. She needed him to demonstrate with his body what she believed in her heart to be true. She wanted to
share
his strength this time because now she felt the beginnings of her own.

"Oh, baby, don't tempt me like this," he said, keeping himself calmly restrained. "I'm not here only for that. I want to prove that to you so you believe me."

"I know we're together for more than sex. I understand that. You don't have to hold back, Luke. I need you right now."

He slowly rested her into the sheets and rolled over top of her. "You can
always
have what you need from me."

He didn't reach for her hair, which surprised her, but rather brought his hand to rest gently on her cheek. Luke pushed his way into her body and kept his eyes trained on hers as he made love to her again, softly kissing her and gazing into her eyes with soul-deep intensity. To show her exactly how much he appreciated her curves, Luke balanced himself on his elbow beside her head and used his other hand to gently squeeze and caress every one of her soft, feminine features while he eased himself into her body over and over.
 

And as the passion built, so did the desperation of his words. He couldn't keep himself restrained in the heat of their bodies moving together, and his usual passionate self took over. Jenna knew the exact moment he gave himself over to his animalistic need. That moment was always marked by her hair in his grip once again.

"Fuck, Jenna, can you feel that? I need you so much it scares me, baby." Jenna got lost in his words and the movements of his body.
 

"I feel it," she breathed, understanding exactly what he meant from his words, and exactly how much he loved her and her body. He wanted every curve. She turned him on, simply by being what she was. He found her beautiful.

"Your perfect tits pressing on me is the hottest fucking thing ever," he rasped as he pulled her knee up further around him and gripped her hair tighter. "And I won't leave you, baby. I can't...I can't be without my angel…"

She hummed from deep in her chest as she arched up further into him. She understood they were together in every sense.

"You won't be without me," she promised in a desperate voice, getting ever closer to climax.
 

"You're so beautiful," he said passionately. "Believe me, and stay with me, baby. Don't hide from me ever again. I want you to come for me every time my cock is buried in you. Every fucking time, Jenna."

"I promise…just stay with me..." she panted as she got closer and closer to the climax she denied herself earlier. "Please stay…"

"Always, baby. Now do it, Jenna. Come for me. Now..."

And with his final word, she let go. She gave in to his strong desire for every part of her and exploded in waves of pleasure so intense she almost cried again. She felt beautiful under his body, and he would stay with her. He loved her.

Luke groaned desperately one last time and buried himself as deep as he could. His body stilled rigidly as he climaxed, holding her eyes with his.
 

"Do you see what you do to me, baby?" he panted. He pushed against her one final time with intense pressure.
 

She nodded. "I love you."

He pulled out of her body and rolled her over with him. He kissed her strongly at first, still riding high from the passion, but as he came down from the rush, his kiss relaxed into a soft, slow sweetness. Luke encompassed all things in life, all at the same time. Maybe
he
was the angel. Her dark, damaged angel.
 

"Never cry again when I call you beautiful," he whispered in his sleepy, after-sex voice.
 

Jenna woke up the next morning still swirling in the mind-shift Luke pushed her through the night before. She knew she could hang on to the feeling of confidence. She had been yo-yo-ing between shy and bold, and between confident and weak from the first time he came into the clinic. Each shift had been dizzying, but now she experienced a sense of stability.

With Luke, anything seemed possible. She gazed over at him, still asleep, and smiled again. She marveled at his depth and understanding…and at his strong body, of course. She couldn't help but think again about how much she always wanted him. All the time. Like right now.

And why not right now? She didn't need to wait for him to lead the way; she could start something without all her insecurities. In fact, he'd probably go crazy over her making a move on him. What a paradigm-shift! Jenna didn't have to be the background follower. She could be right up there with him in their now-shared strength.
 

She could only imagine the filthy things that would come out of his mouth when she pushed herself against him to wake him up. She wanted to find out. Riding the high from last night, she scooted herself over on the bed and rested her body along the length of his. Her hands rubbed along his ripped abs as she kissed his neck.

He began to stir under her touch and pulled her closer when he realized what she was doing. She kissed his neck even stronger in response and his whole body tensed up. "Fuck yes…"

Jenna smiled when she heard those words. Keeping along with the moment of strength, she crawled half-way over him and kissed him solidly on the mouth. She pushed her tongue against his and kept her body as tight against him as she could. She even pulled his hand to her breast, asking for his strong touch exactly where she wanted it.

"That's right, baby…show me…"

She smiled as he gave her what she wanted. This was unbelievable! What a sense of power, and what a good man for letting her take the lead. She didn't understand how someone so strong and commanding could hold back, simply so she could have this moment. Luke Baylor actually appreciated her strength. He fit her perfectly and they understood each other without trying.

She took his other hand and moved it around to her bottom. As soon as his palm was on her ass, he gripped hard. She gasped a sound of pleasure. "That's how you like it, Jenna…Fuck yes…give me more…"

Spurred on by his words and shocked at herself, she moved one of his hands between her legs. She heard him mumble something about her being so fucking perfect. Luke's hand worked its magic over her sex, and his other made its way up into her hair.
 
He was desperate for her, and
she
did that to him. She herself, Jennalyn-I'm-so-shy-Roche, got him worked up to the point of desperate need.
Fuck yes
, she thought with an internal giggle.
 

Luke began to roll over her, but Jenna used her newfound confidence to hold him down. She crawled directly over him and slid her body down to sheath his waiting cock. The hot look of lust and surprise only served to fuel her sense of strength.