Breathless (34 page)

“
I have a surprise for you,” she said smiling. Seconds later, she reappeared with Addie at her side. We held each other in a long embrace before retreating to my bedroom to catch up.

“
I was so worried about you,” Addie gushed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Unlike my mom, Addie made me recall every detail of the tragic funhouse escapade so that she could picture what it must have been like to live through such a terrifying event. Then, she got down to business with the latest local gossip. Normally, my mom would frown at Addie staying over on a school night, but she made a special exception on this particular occasion. We spent the entire night talking and giggling. It was good to be home.

Unfortunately, our sleepless night took its toll the next day. In class, I could barely keep my well-shaded eyes open. The tale of my misfortune in Amarillo had become an epic saga, and I spent most of the lunch hour telling half truths about the actual events. Chaseyn added to the story as needed to lend credence to my statements. By the end of the first week, almost everyone in the school—regardless of their grade or relationship to me or anyone else at my regular cafeteria table—had been privy to the details.

Given recent events, Chaseyn found it difficult to let me out of his sight for even a moment, and my grandma continually checked in—raising my cell phone minutes off the charts and arousing my mom’s suspicions.

“
She just misses me, mom. That’s all,” I told her often. “To be honest, I kind of miss her, too.”

It wasn’t a lie. I did miss my grandma, but her non-stop surveillance was becoming a nuisance. She had taken to regularly interrogating Chaseyn using web cams and instant messaging services. It was endearing at first, but now, I wanted nothing more than to return to my life as a normal teenage girl living in a quiet mountain town.

Spending time alone with Addie had become my saving grace. From lip syncing our favorite songs in front of the vanity in her bedroom the size of a football field to spending Saturday afternoons scouting for designer sample sales at the local mall, we fell back into our old routine. Of course, Chaseyn and Rob were still a big part of everything we did—often trailing three stores behind carrying Addie’s bevy of boutique purchases—I had a renewed faith in friendship and closeness with those I loved.

Weeks passed, and life seemed as though it were completely normal again. At least as normal as life can be when you are destined to be a vampire bride and must always be keeping a watchful eye for potential aggressors.

Chapter 31 - Past Lives

There was little I had yet to learn about Chaseyn. Now that I knew the entire truth about his family and my unfortunate destiny, there was little reason to keep secrets. Each night as I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, he would tell me stories of his past. He was always just outside my window, waiting on the ground below watching for any suspicious characters to make an appearance. Of course, my mom had no idea, so we were forced to communicate via telephone. Still, I knew he was only a few feet away, and I could feel the chill of his presence in the air.

For some time though, I had contemplated the parts of Chaseyn’s past that had not yet been revealed to me. One night, while Chaseyn and I lingered amongst a crowd of our friends at a house party, I decided that I could no longer put off knowing the answer to one of the thoughts that had invaded my mind on numerous occasions. I dragged him out to the dance floor and pulled him in close.

“
Chaseyn,” I said softly as we circled around the outdoor dance floor in the glow of the pale moonlight. “There’s something I need to know.”

“
Anything,” he said sincerely.

“
I’m not sure you will want to talk about this,” I added.

“
I have no secrets from you.”

After a few moments pause, I decided to quash my curiosity and ask the question that had been plaguing me for weeks. Regardless of Chaseyn’s response, I needed to know the answer. Though I was uncertain why it hadn’t occurred to me before, it was something I needed to know now.

“
I need to know,” I started to speak, but the words refused to leave my lips. It seemed maybe I didn’t want to know after all. “You’ve had so many more years to experience life. I wondered—”

Again, I tried to speak, but no sound escaped my mouth.

“
Yes,” he said, already knowing the answer to my unasked question.

That one word made my heart plummet into my stomach. Chaseyn had been in love before. It was ridiculous to think in all his years on Earth that he might have been untouched by another until now, but it still hurt to hear the truth.

“
Once. A very long time ago,” he continued.

We had stopped moving now and were just standing in the center of the room. He stared down into my eyes, looking for some sign that he had not left me completely shattered.

“
Cordeli, say something,” he urged.

Try as I might to fight the strong emotions welling inside me, tears sprang to my eyes, falling uncontrollably down my cheeks to my bare shoulders. In one swift move—so swift I feared someone might recognize his superhuman abilities—Chaseyn swept me outside, away from prying eyes.

“
I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m being silly. I knew. I mean, of course I didn’t really know, but a part of me knew. It’s just hard to hear. I guess I had hoped that we were both experiencing this for the first time.”

“
We are, Cordelia,” he assured.
“But, we’re not,” I replied, trying to stop the saltwater flow from its constant stream.

“
It’s true, I was in love, but it didn’t feel anything like this,” he explained.

I looked at him with hope, but I still felt cheated.

“
Lia, where are you going,” Addie shouted as I ran out of the room. “Wait.”

But my legs just kept pushing forward. I ran with a speed I did not know was possible for someone of the human form. Chaseyn didn’t try to stop me, though I knew he would not be far behind. First, he had to contend with Addie’s incessant interrogation over what had just transpired. He was vague but honest, and she expressed instant concern—instructing Rob to wait while she tracked me down.

After about a half hour of running through random suburban streets and alleys, Addie had finally caught up with me—and so had Chaseyn. He was impossible to spot in the dark light, but I knew the instant the temperature dropped that he was nearby. I tried to be happy that he cared so much, but I was still distraught by his earlier revelation. Addie wanted desperately to comfort me in the same way I had on the many occasions that she and Rob had called an end—and later a new beginning—to their relationship. I was unwilling to give her the satisfaction. Instead, I assured her that what I truly needed more than anything right now was time to think. She drove me home and walked me to my room before returning to the party. As usual, Chaseyn waited in the shadows beneath my bedroom window, but rather than making his presence known, tonight, he remained completely silent, respecting my wishes to be alone.

Sleep came quickly, but morning came even faster. I was still enrapt in my thoughts when the doorbell rang. Looking at the clock, I realized that I had been lying awake for hours and it was, in fact, a reasonable time of day for an unexpected guest.

“
Lia,” my mom shouted up the stairs. “Are you awake? It’s Chaseyn.”

She crept up the stairs and poked her head inside the door. Pretending to be asleep at this hour would be completely ludicrous, so instead, I feigned illness.

“
I’m really not feeling well, mom. Can you tell him to go away?”

“
Sure, honey.”

Standing at the top of the stairs, I listened intently as my mom explained the situation to Chaseyn. I should have known better than to think he would simply walk away. Before I could protest, he was resting comfortably on the couch.

“
Thanks for letting me wait, Mrs. Jameson,” he said in a voice that suggested he had won the first of many battles today. “I promise I’ll be quiet as a mouse.”

“
Oh, Chaseyn,” my mom cooed. “You’re such a silly boy. You’re never any trouble.”

Returning to my room, I sat on the edge of the bed and continued to think about my life as it was, Chaseyn, and the future. What did I want, I wondered? Would I eventually ask Chaseyn to make me an immortal being? If not, how would it feel to grow old with Chaseyn if he never truly aged? Would he stay with me? There were still so many things I needed to experience before I could make an educated choice. How could I know what I wanted until I had lived been through the same things Chaseyn already had? As these thoughts raced through my head, the minutes ticked by on the clock. More than an hour had passed since Chaseyn had arrived, and I knew what I needed to do.

Tossing on a T-shirt and jeans, I poked my head out the door and silently motioned for him to join me in my room. We talked for hours.

Chapter 32 - Fancy Dresses

“
He’s leaving,” Addie asked surprised. “And, you’re okay with that?”

I nodded my head, tears stinging my eyes. No matter how many times I had been over it in my head, it still hurt to think about it actually happening.

“
It’s for the best right now.”

“
Lia, you love him. Don’t you know that? I’ve never met two people so perfectly synchronized,” Addie continued. She was pleading her case, and it was nearly impossible to bear.

Again, I nodded.

“
Chaseyn knows who he is and what life has to offer. I’m just not sure right now who I’m supposed to be. I can’t figure that out with him always by my side. Once I have the answers I’m looking for, he’ll come back.”

“
How can you be so sure,” she asked. “What makes you think that he’ll wait for you to get your head on straight. He’s amazing, and there are a lot of beautiful, smart women out there who would give their right arm for a chance to be with someone like him.”

“
I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” I replied.

Addie seemed satisfied for now, but I could see the look of skepticism in her eyes. She thought I was deluding myself and that he was going to find someone new, but she had no idea. He was bound to me forever. It was Chaseyn who had no guarantees about what I would decide to do.

“
So, I guess we better find you an awesome dress for prom since it will be one of your last chances to leave a strong impression on him before he leaves,” Addie said, a huge grin sweeping across her face.

She was right. Even thought I knew it was needless, I still wanted to give him something special to remember me by until I sent the signal that I was ready to reconnect with him. Addie was already racing toward the boutique where she thought she had found the perfect dress…for me. She knew that in this one, rare case, I was going to let her lavish me with expensive fashions, and she was going to take advantage of the opportunity. Before I stepped foot inside the store, I saw her standing in front of the picture window flashing four different dresses wildly at me, one at a time. I let out a wry chuckle and shook my head knowingly. I was in for a bumpy ride.

The next few weeks were a challenge. I waffled between wanting Chaseyn to remain with me always and needing to be on my own for a while. Until, the one day came that I had to make the ultimate choice.

“
I’ve decided to attend the University of Denver.”

“
But, you got accepted to Dartmouth, Columbia, and Brown,” my mom said in surprise. “Why would you turn down full scholarship at an Ivy League school to live in Boulder?”

“
To be close to you,” to be closer to you.

My mom smiled shyly. We had been getting along so well over the past year that I wanted to continue growing our relationship. If I moved away, I may not have that opportunity again. I deferred my acceptance to the other schools for one year. That way, I could have the best of both worlds.

“
I promise, mom. I’m going to get the best education I can, but for a little while, I want to spend my weekends with you and Kevin. Unless you don’t—“

“
Don’t be ridiculous. Of course we want you around as much as possible. But, how is Chaseyn going to feel about this? Hasn’t he already enrolled at Cornell? I’m sure one of the reasons he selected that school was to be near whichever one you selected.”

“
It’s okay, mom. He knows, and he supports my decision,” I told her. “We’ll be together again someday, but right now…”

It was difficult to continue, and she didn’t press for more information. She didn’t ask any more questions about why I had chosen to stay nearby for school, while Chaseyn would be moving across the country. Instead, she made me a big cup of hot cocoa—even though the temperature was in the sixties, and the sun was shining like a neon bulb in the sky—and leafed through the University of Denver brochures I had fanned out on the dining table.