Brian Friel Plays 1 (47 page)

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Authors: Brian Friel

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JUDITH:
Yes.

EAMON:
She won’t be far away.

JUDITH:
That’s true.

EAMON:
Just you and Father.

JUDITH:
And Uncle George.

EAMON:
And Uncle George.

JUDITH:
Yes.

EAMON:
It’ll be a quiet house.

JUDITH:
We manage.

WILLIE:
Go on – go on – go on – go on.

EAMON:
You said that morning you’d marry me.

JUDITH:
We manage because we live very frugally. There’s Father’s pension; and I get some money from letting the land; and I grow all the vegetables we use; and I enjoy baking –

EAMON:
Why did you change your mind?

JUDITH:
So that apart from doctor’s bills the only expenses we have are fuel and electric and the phone. And I’m thinking of getting rid of the phone. It’s used very little anyhow.

EAMON:
You never told me why.

WILLIE:
You missed it! You missed it!

CLAIRE:
I did not!

WILLIE:
You weren’t within a bloody mile of it! Ha-ha-ha-ha.

JUDITH:
And I have Willie. I don’t
think I could manage without Willie’s help. Yes, I probably could. Yes, of course I would. But he’s the most undemanding person I know. Some intuitive sense he has: he’s always there when I want him. And everything he does is done so simply, so easily, that I almost take him for granted.

EAMON:
Judith, I –

(
She
closes
her
eyes
and
her
speech
becomes
tense
and
deliberate,
almost
as
if
she
were
talking
to
herself.
)

JUDITH:
Listen to me, Eamon. I get up every morning at 7.30 and make breakfast. I bring Father his up first. Very often the bed’s soiled so I change him and sponge him and bring the clothes downstairs and wash them and hang them out. Then I get Uncle George his breakfast. Then I let the hens out and dig the potatoes for the lunch. By that time Claire’s usually up so I get her something to eat and if she’s in one of her down times I invent some light work for her to do, just to jolly her along, and if she’s in one of her high times I’ve got to try to stop her from scrubbing down the house from top to bottom. Then I do out the fire, bring in the turf, make the beds, wash the dishes. Then it’s time to bring Father up his egg-flip and shave him and maybe change his clothes again. Then I begin the lunch. And so it goes on and on, day after day, week after week, month after month. I’m not complaining, Eamon. I’m just telling you my routine. I don’t even think of it as burdensome. But it occupies every waking moment of every day and every thought of every day. And I know I can carry on – happily almost, yes almost happily – I know I can keep going as long as I’m not diverted from that routine, as long as there are no intrusions on it. Maybe it’s an unnatural existence. I don’t know. But it’s my existence – here – now. And there is no end in sight. So please don’t intrude on it. Keep out of it. Now. Altogether. Please.

(
She
lights
a
cigarette.
Pause.
)

EAMON:
Whatever the lady wants. (

TOM
joins
them.
EAMON
rises
and
flashes
a
radiant
smile
at
him.
)

EAMON:
Semper
permanemus.
(
Almost
into
Tom’s
face
as
he
shuffles
past
him.
) ‘Ba-doo-be-da-da-da-ba-dab …’

(
TOM
ignores
him.
EAMON
picks
up
an
empty
wine
bottle
and
examines
it
with
excessive
interest.
)

TOM:
I’ve some packing to do. Thank Casimir for lunch, will you?

JUDITH:
Yes.

TOM:
I’d be careful of that sun. You should have your head covered.

(
He
goes
off
right,
WILLIE
is
dawn
on
his
hunkers,
fanning
an
imaginary
ball
through
an
imaginary
hoop.
)

WILLIE:
Come on, my wee darling, come on, come on, come on, another inch, another wee fraction – And it’s through! I’ve won! I’ve won!

(
He
is
elated
with
his
triumph.
His
elation
is
genuine
– not
part
of
the
make-believe.
And
his
triumph
has
given
him
a
confidence.
He
reaches
for
his
jacket
and
swaggers
off
the
court
with
great
assurance.
)

CLAIRE:
It’s not over yet.

WILLIE:
Over! Finished! You’re bet! Pack it in! I won, Eamon!

CLAIRE:
I’ve one more shot –

WILLIE:
Bet to the ropes! Your tongue’s hanging out! Throw in the towel! Aul’ Slooghter won hands down! Up the back shore boys!

CLAIRE:
Watch this, Willie.

WILLIE:
I’m watching nothing! The game’s over! (
To
EAMON
) What do you make of that, lad, eh?

EAMON:
‘So deep is the n-n-n-n-n-night …’

CLAIRE:
It’s through, Willie.

WILLIE:
Takes an aul’ Diver every time!

(
ALICE
is
awakened
by
the
noise.
WILLIE
pursues
EAMON
.)

WILLIE:
Never had a mallet in my hand before! Never stood on a croquet court before! Bloody good, eh?

EAMON:
‘Terrific’. (
He
gives
one
of
Casimir’s
grins
.)
A real insider now, Willie.

WILLIE:
Give us a slug of something there – I’m as dry as a lime-kiln. What’s in that?

(
EAMON
hands
him
the
empty
wine
bottle
.)

EAMON:
Here.

WILLIE:
Jaysus, that’s empty!

EAMON:
Imagine it’s full. Use your peasant talent for fantasy, man.

(
CASIMIR
has
finished
his
call.
He
comes
outside.
He
is
uneasy
but
tries
to
hide
it
.)

CASIMIR:
Well. That’s that job done. Glad to get that off my mind. What’s been happening out here?

JUDITH:
Did you get through?

CASIMIR:
Little Heinrich I was speaking to actually – he’s the baby – he’s seven – little Heinrich. Helga’s out at one of her SG meetings. Ha-ha.

ALICE:
What’s her SG?

CASIMIR:
The Spiritualisten Gruppe – she’s a spiritualist, Helga – table-rapping, seances, all that stuff – total believer. They meet every fortnight; and they’re so passionate about it – oh, my goodness, you’ve no idea how passionate. I pretend I’m sympathetic – you know – domestic harmony – ha-ha. So that’s where she is now – at her SG meeting.

JUDITH:
I’m sure Heinrich misses you.

C
ASIMIR:
Oh yes – oh yes. But the line was bad. And the trouble is, you see, the trouble is his English is as bad as my German – if that’s possible! No problem, no problem at all when we’re together – I mean we can smile and make signs and stagger on; but it’s so difficult on the phone. And of course Helga’s right – I mean they’ve got to be a little German family, haven’t they? After all they’re German, aren’t they? So. Yes, they’re all fine, thank goodness. Fine. He said to tell you all ‘Grüsse’ – that’s the German for – for ‘regards’ – ‘salutations’ – oh, he’s a very intelligent young man; very independent; very self-contained. I really must make one more big effort with my German.

JUDITH:
Time we cleared this mess up.

CASIMIR:
No, no; not yet. I’ve a great treat for all of you – Anna’s tape!

ALICE:
I forgot about that.

CASIMIR:
Could you all gather round and I’ll play the tape
Anna sent me last Christmas. Messages for everybody! A real, real treat!

WILLIE:
Maybe I should go and leave yous to –

CASIMIR:
Go? For heaven’s sake! I’d be deeply offended if you left. And so would Anna.

(
He
begins
to
arrange
the
seats
in
a
wide
arc facing
out.
The
others
help
him
and
begin
picking
up
the
remains
of
the
picnic.
As
they
do
this
work
the
following
passages
overlap
.)

JUDITH:
(
To
CLAIRE
) What tape is this?

CLAIRE:
I don’t know. Never heard of it.

ALICE:
(
To
WILLIE
) How did it go?

WILLIE:
What?

ALICE:
That mad game you were playing.

WILLIE:
I won.

ALICE:
How do you know when you lose?

CASIMIR:
Would you sit here, Eamon?

EAMON:
Anywhere you like.

CASIMIR:
Splendid. Where’s Tom?

JUDITH:
Gone to do some packing. He said thank you for the lunch.

CASIMIR:
I don’t suppose he’d be very interested. (
As
he
switches
tapes.
)
Disposing of you temporarily, Claire. But don’t worry – we’ll reinstate you.

(
Everyone
is
in
position.
CASIMIR
stands
before
them
,
the
cassette
in
his
hand.
He
is
happy
to
be
master
of
ceremonies.
)

CASIMIR:
Good. Fine. Splendid. Are we all settled? Well, before I begin, may I explain to our guest here –

CLAIRE:
Who’s the guest?

ALICE:
I’m the guest.

CASIMIR:
Willie’s our guest – and a very welcome guest he is, too. (
ALICE
claps
.)
And I just wish to explain to him that little Anna joined the convent twenty years ago, when she was only seventeen –

ALICE:
Eighteen.

CASIMIR:
– and that apart from one visit home she’s been in Africa ever since; so that her knowledge of our lives is perhaps slightly – hasn’t kept pace perhaps with the way –

ALICE:
For God’s sake just play it, Casimir.

CASIMIR:
Yes, Ah. Yes. Play it. Indeed I –

JUDITH:
Shhhh!

CLAIRE:
What?

JUDITH:
Listen! (
They
all
listen
for
a
moment.
)
Sorry. Thought I heard Father. Go ahead.

CASIMIR:
Should I get Uncle George out?

ALICE:
Casimir!

CASIMIR:
Sorry – sorry – no point at all, is there? Yes. Are we all ready? Splendid. Sister John Henry. Little Anna.

(
He
places
the
cassette
an
the
lawn
and
switches
it
on.
Anna

s
voice
is
a
chil
d’
s
voice.
She
speaks
slowly
and
distinctly
as
if
she
were
reading
from
a
school-book.
)

ANNA:
Hello Daddy and Judith and Alice and Casimir and little Claire.

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