Brian Friel Plays 1 (5 page)

Righ-too-del-loo-del-oo-del-oo-del-oo-del-oo-del-ah, Rum-ta-del-ah-del-ah-del-agh-del-ah-del-ah-del-agh.

Hell of a crowd here the night, eh? Yah-ho! Man, you’re looking powerful! Great!

(
PRIVATE
sits
on
the
chair
and
watches.
When
he
speaks
his
voice
is
soft.
PUBLIC
pretends
not
to
hear
him.
)

PRIVATE
:
Remember – that was Katie’s tune. You needn’t pretend you have forgotten. And it reminds you of the night the two of you made all the plans, and you thought your heart would burst with happiness.

PUBLIC
:
(
Louder
) Tigh-righ-tigh-righ-scal-del-de-da-del-ah, Come on! A dirty big swing! Yaaaaaaaaaaah!

PRIVATE
:
(
Quietly,
rapidly
insisting
) Are you going to take her photograph to the States with you? When are you going to
say good-bye to her? Will you write to her? Will you send her cards and photographs? You loved her once, old rooster; you wanted so much to marry her that it was a bloody sickness. Tell me, randy boy; tell me the truth: have you got over that sickness? Do you still love her? Do you still lust after her? Well, do you? Do you? Do you?

PUBLIC
:
Bugger!

(
PUBLIC
suddenly
stops
dancing,
switches
–
almost
knocks
–
off
the
record-player,
pulls
a
wallet
out
of
his
hip
pocket
and
produces
a
snap.
He
sits
and
looks
at
it.
)

PRIVATE
:
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh …

PUBLIC
:
(
Softly
) Kate … sweet Katie Doogan … my darling Kathy Doogan …

PRIVATE
:
(
In
same
soft
tone
) Aul bitch. (
Loudly
)
Rotten aul snobby bitch! Just like her stinking rotten father and mother – a bugger and a buggeress – a buggeroo and a buggerette!

PUBLIC
:
No, no; my fault – all my fault –

PRIVATE
:
(
Remembering
and
recalling
tauntingly
)
By God, that was a night, boy, eh? By God, you made a right bloody cow’s ass of yourself.

(
PUBLIC
goes
off
right.
)

Remember – when was it? – ten months ago? – you had just come back from a walk out the Mill Road, and the pair of you had the whole thing planned: engaged at Christmas, married at Easter, and fourteen of a family – seven boys and seven girls. Gripes, you make me laugh! You bloody-well make me die laughing. You were going to ‘develop’ the hardware lines and she was going to take charge of the ‘drapery’! The drapery! The fishy socks and the shoebox of cotton spools and rusted needles! And you – you were to ask Screwballs for a rise in pay – ‘in view of your increased responsibilities’! And you were so far gone that night, Laddybuck, –

(
PUBLIC
and
KATE
enter
from
the
left
and
walk
very
slowly
across
the
front
of
the
stage.
They
stop
and
kiss.
Then
they
move
on
again.
)

– so bloody well astray in the head with ‘love’ that you went and blabbed about your secret egg deals that nobody knew anything about – not even Madge! Stupid bloody get! O my
God, how you stick yourself I’ll never know!

PUBLIC
:
Kate – Kathy – I’m mad about you: I’ll never last till Easter! I’ll – I’ll – I’ll bloody-well burst!

(
He
catches
her
again
and
kisses
her.
)

PRIVATE
:
Steady, boy, steady. You know what the Canon says: long passionate kisses in lonely places …

PUBLIC
:
Our daughters’ll all be gentle and frail and silly, like you; and our sons – they’ll be thick bloody louts, sexy goats, like me, and by God I’ll beat the tar out of them!

KATE
:
But £3 15s, Gar! We could never live on that.

PUBLIC
:
(
Kissing
her
hair
) Mmmm.

KATE
:
Gar! Listen! Be sensible.

PUBLIC
:
Mmm?

KATE
:
How will we
live
?

PRIVATE
:
(
Imitating
) ‘How will we
live
?’

PUBLIC
:
Like lords – free house, free light, free fuel, free groceries! And every night at seven when we close – except Saturday; he stays open till damn near midnight on Saturdays, making out bloody bills; and sure God and the world knows that sending out bills here is as hopeless as peeing against the wind –

KATE
:
Gar! No matter what you say we just couldn’t live on that much money. It – it’s not possible. We’ll need to have more security than that.

PUBLIC
:
Maybe he’ll die – tonight – of galloping consumption!

KATE
:
Gar …

PUBLIC
:
What’s troubling you?

(
He
tries
to
kiss
her
again
and
she
avoids
him.
)

KATE
:
Please. This is serious.

PRIVATE
:
‘Please. This is serious.’

PUBLIC
:
(
Irritably
) What is it?

KATE
:
You’ll have to see about getting more money.

PUBLIC
:
Of course I’ll see about getting more money! Haven’t I told you I’m going to ask for a rise?

KATE
:
But will he –?

PUBLIC
:
I’ll get it; don’t you worry; I’ll get it. Besides, (
With
dignity
) I have a – a-a source of income that he knows nothing about – that nobody knows nothing about – knows anything about.

KATE
:
(
With
joy
) Investments? Like Daddy?

PUBLIC
:
Well … sort of … (
Quickly
) You know when I go round the country every Tuesday and Thursday in the lorry?

KATE
:
Yes?

PUBLIC
:
Well, I buy eggs direct from the farms and sell them privately to McLaughlin’s Hotel – (
Winks
) – for a handsome profit – (
Quickly
) – but he knows nothing about it.

KATE
:
And how much do you make?

PUBLIC
:
It varies – depending on the time of year.

KATE
:
Roughly.

PUBLIC
:
Oh, anything from 12s 6d to £1.

KATE
:
Every Tuesday and Thursday?

PUBLIC
:
Every month. (
Grabs
her
again
.) God, Kate, I can’t even wait till Christmas!

KATE
:
Shhhh.

PUBLIC
:
But I can’t. We’ll have to get married sooner – next month – next week–

PRIVATE
:
Steady, steady….

PUBLIC
:
Kate … my sweet Katie … my darling Kathy …

(
They
kiss.
Suddenly
KATE
breaks
off.
Her
voice
is
urgent.
)

KATE
:
We’ll go now, rightaway, and tell them.

PUBLIC
:
Who?

KATE
:
Mammy and Daddy. They’re at home tonight.

(
She
catches
his
arm
and
pulls
him
towards
the
left.
)

Come on. Quickly. Now, Gar, now.

PUBLIC
:
(
Adjusting
his
tie
) God, Kathy, I’m in no – look at the shoes – the trousers–

KATE
:
What matter. It must be now, Gar, now!

PUBLIC
:
What – what – what’ll I say?

KATE
:
That you want their permission to marry me next week.

PUBLIC
:
God, they’ll wipe the bloody floor with me!

KATE
:
Gar!

(
She
kisses
him
passionately,
quickly,
then
breaks
off
and
goes
.)

(
Stage
right,
now
lit.
A
room
in
Doogan’s
house.
)

PUBLIC
:
God, my legs are trembling! Kathy …

KATE
:
Anybody at home? Mammy! Daddy!

(
PUBLIC
hesitates
before
entering
DOOGAN
’
s
house.
PRIVATE
is
at
his
elbow,
prompting
him
desperately.
)

PRIVATE
:
Mr Doogan – Senator Doogan – I want to ask your permission … O my God! …

KATE
:
Yo-ho!

PRIVATE
: Mrs Doogan, Kate and I have to get married rightaway – Cripes, no! –

KATE
:
Where is everybody! Yo-ho-yo-ho!

PRIVATE
:
If the boys could see you now!

(
KATE
comes
back
to
him,
gives
him
a
quick
kiss
on
the
cheek.
)

KATE
:
Don’t look so miserable. Here … (
Fixes
his
tie
).

PUBLIC
:
Kathy, maybe we should wait until – until – until next Sunday–

KATE
:
(
Earnestly
) Remember, it’s up to you, entirely up to you.

DOOGAN
:
(
Off
) That you, Kate?

KATE
:
(
Rapidly
) You have £20 a week and £5,000 in the bank and your father’s about to retire. (
Turning
and
smiling
at
DOOGAN
who
has
now
entered.
)
Just Gar and I, Daddy. (
DOOGAN
,
Lawyer,
Senator,
middle
forties.
)

DOOGAN
:
Hello, Gareth. You’re a stranger.

PRIVATE
:
Speak, you dummy you!

KATE
:
(
Filling
in
) Where’s Mammy?

DOOGAN
:
She’s watching TV. (
To
GAR
.) And how are things with you, Gareth?

PUBLIC
:
Mr Doogan, I want–

PRIVATE
:
Go on.

PUBLIC
:
I won’t be staying long.

DOOGAN
:
(
To
KATE
) Francis arrived when you were out. Took a few days off and decided to come north.

PRIVATE
:
Cripes!

KATE
:
He – he’s – he’s here – now?

DOOGAN
:
Inside with your mother. Ask them to join us, will you?

(
KATE
gives
PUBLIC
a
last
significant
look.
)

KATE
:
You talk to Daddy, Gar.

PRIVATE
:
God, I will, I will.

(
KATE
goes
off
right.
)

DOOGAN
:
You’ve met Francis King, haven’t you, Gareth?

PUBLIC
:
Yes – yes –

PRIVATE
:
King of the bloody fairies!

DOOGAN
:
We don’t want to raise Kate’s hopes unduly, but
strictly between ourselves there’s a good chance that he’ll get the new dispensary job here.

PUBLIC
:
Kate’s hopes?

DOOGAN
:
Didn’t she tell you? No, I can see she didn’t. Of course there’s nothing official yet; not even what you might call an understanding. But if this post does fall into his lap, well, her mother and I … let’s say we’re living in hope. A fine boy, Francis; and we’ve known the Kings, oh, since away back. As a matter of fact his father and I were
class-fellows
at school …