Bright Lights, Dark Nights (19 page)

“I could even skip class right now,” Nate said, proud of this thought, convincing himself his single life was truly that good. “What say you, Walter? Care to skip eighth period with me and check out the furniture store for soft new chairs?”

“Are you looking for a new chair?” I asked.

“Absolutely not.” Nate beamed.

“You know I don't skip class,” I said. “Besides, I've got a test to take.” My actual plan did involve skipping, but it was a first for me, so that wasn't a full lie. Naomi and I were going to meet outside on the steps, so I had to ditch Nate, who had become somewhat clingy since he and Kate decided to spend more time apart.

“You sure, man? You seem like you could use some downtime,” Nate said, branching away. Guess I was wearing my anxiety on the outside. “Hey, good luck on your test.”

I needed Naomi like I needed a handful of Advil and a glass of water.

*   *   *

We'd tried to find time to be together during the school day, but it wasn't enough. After school was a possibility, before school was less tantalizing. We were, as weird as it was to say, a new couple. There was no map for us, really. We had no idea where this was headed or what it should be or feel like. Neither of us had ever dated anyone else before. It could be argued that it was a bad idea, that we'd do it all wrong. We saw the other couples, clinging to each other's sides, kissing, but that didn't feel right. Yet, anyway. That was what we needed time to figure out.

I could jump in the air and kick my feet together. Naomi was just feet away and some time alone was well-earned after dodging so much to make it happen.

I was on the third floor, passing a stretch of lockers and heading toward the stairs outside. The sun was beaming through the door windows and pulling me toward it, and outside, alone apart from a few freshmen on their way downstairs, was Naomi. Bathed in sun and the blue of the sky.

I opened the door with thoughts of hand-holding and eyes and lips.

“Bro, Walter,” Jason said, way too in-my-face, way too from-out-of-nowhere. He must have been right on the other side of the door. I quickly adjusted my attention to him. “You going to Shadows later? I've got a backlist now. It's been weeks.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I'll bring my book bag so we can carry it all.” Stupid Wednesday routines. I had no excuse planned. It was potentially good, though. Things had felt off, but I was the one with the secret. It'd be a good chance to feel things out. Eventually he was going to find out about Naomi, and it would be better if things were good and normal between us first.

“Bye,” Naomi said to us, or maybe to Jason, or maybe secretly to just me, and jetted down the stairs.

“Oh, I gotta go, too,” Jason said, looking at his watch. “I'm late. If I'm not at Shadows, come break me out of Colfer's office. I'm probably in detention.”

“I'll bring a saw in a birthday cake,” I said. Nervous laughter. I was bad at this. My best bet was to get a few comics and get out of there fast after school.

The bell rang and rather than run to class, I went down the stairs to see if I could find Naomi, to see if she'd waited for me or if the plan was off. Maybe I could still go to that furniture store with Nate. I reached the bottom of the stairs and a pair of hands grabbed my arm and yanked me under the steps in a dark, shaded, secluded spot. We kissed.

“That was weird, huh?” I asked, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

“Yeah, it was. I never lie to Jason,” Naomi said, looking at her gloved hands as they picked up my bare hands. “Of course, I never skip class, either.”

“Never?” I asked. I rubbed her glove fingers and gave her hands a squeeze. “Me neither. Do you want to skip skipping? I mean, we're late already. So we may as well. What do you want to do?”

“Let's get out of here,” Naomi said. “Go for a walk or something.”

We started heading west from the school, toward the bridge that gives East Bridge its name. It was just a few blocks away. It didn't feel like we were doing anything wrong, cutting class and leaving school. Naomi and I shared a bubble in which regular actions, thoughts, laws, and principles did not apply. Not that anyone else would agree.

“We're two bad seeds,” Naomi said.

“Absolutely rotten,” I said. “You're a wild child. We've established that.” Two bad-seed, wild children carrying their guilt as they skipped a class for the first time. The sun was bright and inviting, leading us away from the school, promising this was the correct path to take. The roads were loud with construction; East Bridge was in a constant state of rebuilding, or possibly debuilding, as it only seemed to get messier and louder.

“What's the worst thing you've ever done?” I asked Naomi, and pulled her body closer to mine.

“Is murder off the table?” Naomi asked. “Other than the murders, let's see,” Naomi said, lifting her face and looking upward. “Okay, well, I told you I used to hang out with my older sister on top of the store, right? Well sometimes she'd drink alcohol up there, and she'd share it with me.”

“That's your bad story?”

“I was, like, ten years old!” Naomi exclaimed. “Up there getting wasted, saying swearwords. I'm a bad kid.”

“Did you like it?” I asked.

“No!” Naomi said. “I didn't like it at all, but I thought I was being cool. That stuff tasted gross. Okay, your turn. What's the worst thing you've ever done?”

“I branded my mom with a scarlet
A
and bolted from dinner,” I said, and laughed. “That was kinda bad. This one's dark and you're going to like me less afterward, but this is real. This is a deep regret. I hit my sister once.”

“
No!
” Naomi exclaimed. “You're a woman beater? Mellie's so nice, too…”

“I'm not a—no. Here's the story,” I started. “We had a dog named Murph. And Murph would get away sometimes, and we'd spend all day chasing him around the neighborhood. He'd run away and we'd get close and he'd run again—it was a game. To him. So one day, the sun had gone down, we're missing dinner, we've been out there for hours already, we don't even know where he is anymore. I'm about that age, around ten, I'm cranky, Mel's cranky, I'm whining, she's telling me to shut up. We get into this huge fight, and Murph had this chain leash Mel was holding that she balled up and struck me right in the face with, and I hit her back. We're both crying, Murph can tell we're upset, comes running up to us. We all go home.”

“Oh my god,” Naomi said.

“Yeah, so I've got a huge bloody gash across my nose and Mel's got a bruised cheek. We told my parents Murph ran into us both. I don't think they bought it for a second. I felt awful. I still feel awful. But she kinda started it.”

“Aw,” Naomi said, and slid her gloved hand along my nose. “We were some bad ten-year-olds. I can't believe you sold out your dog.”

“And then there are the murders,” I said. “But those don't count.”

*   *   *

We got to the bridge and sat down by a wall one of the bridge legs formed, on a small gravel hill pushing up against it.

“Truth time,” Naomi said, placing her hands on her lap. She slid closer to me, and we huddled together for warmth. “I think we should go ahead and tell everyone. I don't want to be sneaking around and skipping classes just to see you. And I'd prefer not to lie to anyone. That was way too close with Jason.”

I had already lied to Nate and Jason in a five-minute stretch. Naomi had lied about where she was on Saturday. “It's not the best time to tell my dad,” I said. “Maybe a week ago, it would have been, but now he's stressing himself sick over this lawsuit stuff. He's busy with lawyers and media requests and work problems all day. I think he's at war with his boss.” When he wasn't running around with that stuff, he was home eating junk food, drinking with Ricky, sleeping, or watching old movies.

“I'd like to at least tell my parents,” Naomi said.

“That's a good idea,” I said with a nod. “When are you going to tell them?”

“Not just me,” Naomi said, alarmed. “
We
have to tell them. And Jason, too.”

This wasn't exciting news for me as I was missing Naomi's flair for drama and big scenes. Or at least her ability to speak first and think after. We handled secrets differently. For her, a secret was a lie. She needed to talk and be open and free with her feelings. I don't think she could hold back if she tried. Myself, I was a loner. I was used to keeping things in my head. I didn't always need to talk, I didn't think of it as a secret or a lie so much as it was just my business. I was just getting to know the Mills family, too, so the idea of a big reveal was enough to tie my stomach in a knot or two. Confrontation made me queasy and it wasn't something I looked forward to. I was definitely going to develop an ulcer by graduation at the rate things were going.

“Don't you think it'll seem like a bigger issue than it is if we make a big scene out of it?” I asked. “Are you sure it's the right time for that?”

“Stop, you're making me nervous,” Naomi said. “This is new to me, too. Besides, you don't know my family. They'll say no if I just bring it up or ask myself. They'll find some excuse to keep me locked up playing harp all day and night. Jason will throw a fit. You need to be there or all this is going to go away.” She took my hands in hers. “And I'll feel better if I have you there.”

“All right,” I said. She didn't have to twist my arm. I'd have run out into traffic if she asked me nicely. “When do you want to do it?”

“Tonight,” Naomi said. And when she kissed me, my heart beat heavily like the first time she touched my hand, but for all kinds of reasons now.

I understood where Naomi was coming from but it also felt so formal and mature, like I was asking her hand in marriage. Keeping it secret felt like we were doing something wrong, though, which we weren't. And the longer we kept the secret the more it seemed to imply this was something we shouldn't be doing. I wanted to be Naomi's boyfriend, and if talking to her parents was what it took to make it happen, that was what I was going to do.

Naomi picked up a discarded spray can.

“Think there's anything left?” she said, and shook the can. She sprayed a little spot on the ground next to her, a bright orange spot. “Works! Tag something!”

“I don't know how to tag,” I said. “Listen, I'm no ten-year-old misfit anymore. I've matured.”

“You just write something,” Naomi said. “Put our names together. Wallomi.”

“Wallomi?” I said. “Is that what we are, Wallomi?”

“Yeah, it's like a wallaby,” Naomi said. “Like Rocko. Draw that.”

“What's a wallaby, and what's a Rocko?” I asked, and Naomi laughed.

“You don't know anything!” Naomi tossed the can, and we kissed. Then she added, with disappointment, “I guess we're good kids after all.”

Not two seconds after that, a cop walked by and looked at us, two kids kissing under the bridge in the middle of a school day, inches from a can of spray paint.

“Shouldn't you two be in school?” the cop asked, turning to face us, looking authoritative. But before we could respond—not that we had a response—he said “I'm just kidding!” The cop went on his way, protecting the city, or possibly ignoring crimes.

“Should we head back?” I asked, a nervous rock still sitting in my stomach.

“Yeah,” Naomi said, and we got out of there.

*   *   *

“Finally, my man Walter returns to Shadows,” Jason said, waiting for me outside as I walked toward the store. The buildings formed a wind tunnel and a frigid gust shoved us in through the door. I hadn't spent any real alone time with Jason since I started seeing Naomi, so I wasn't sure what to expect. As far as I knew, he'd figured it out already and was just waiting for me to announce it.