Authors: Penny Brandon
The slap of Jared's flesh on his and the thrust of Jared's flesh
in
his became a focal point. He reached for it, his moans and cries mingling with Jared's endless panting grunts. His gaze latched on to Jared's, his lover's hazel eyes stunningly gold. Then Jared's face contorted as his impetus froze, his hips ramming home.
"Oh fuck, Kyle!"
Kyle gasped and then moaned as he felt the hot fluid of Jared's orgasm saturate him. The knowledge, the experience, the realization that this was how it should always be triggered his own. Crying out, he shuddered as not only did his inner muscles constrict and pulse, milking Jared's cock further, but his own cock shot out a load of thick, sticky cum onto his chest and belly.
Jared collapsed onto him, his weight squashing Kyle into the mattress and his cum between them. Kyle winced as his bruised chest was crushed, but he didn't say anything, happy enough to have Jared in his arms. Harsh breaths misted against his neck as Jared groaned, fighting no doubt to put some air into tortured lungs. Kyle just held him; there was nothing else for him to do. He couldn't move, his limbs were useless, and the contact of Jared's hard abs on his cock was too delicious for him to want to change anyway. Eventually though, his chest hurting and his breathing restricted, he tapped Jared on the shoulder.
"Shit, sorry, forgot." Jared immediately pushed up and carefully untangled himself from Kyle's limbs to sit on the edge of the bed.
For a long while, neither of them said anything, and Kyle began to worry. He'd kind of expected to see Jared smile, hoped to hear him say something that would allow Kyle to mend what he'd done. What he didn't expect was to see Jared stare at him with a hard, inscrutable expression in his eyes.
"Jared?"
His stillness was unnerving; it was as if he was waiting for something. Cold fear started at the base of Kyle's skull and slid slow, vicious fingers down his spine. What had he done wrong? What the fuck had he done wrong?
Chapter Six
It took every ounce of self-control not to pull Kyle into his arms right then and make love to him again. It also took every ounce of self-control not to start yelling at him. Both joy and anger threaded through him in equal measures. Touching Kyle, making love to him had brought home how much the man meant to him, how much he wanted him, and Kyle obviously felt the same. How could he not after what they'd just done, so why the fuck had he walked away? Confusion melded with resentment while his body throbbed from being inside Kyle and his hands tingled from touching him, none of it helping in trying to sort out what to do next. Kyle's eyes were intent on his, and his face looked paler than it had before. Trembling fingers raked through mussed hair, the blond locks damp with sweat and sticking up on end. There was a plea in those intense blue eyes, one perhaps for understanding or just plain forgiveness.
Jared shook his head, not ready to forgive, though he wished to fuck he understood. He wanted to ask Kyle why he'd walked away from something that could have been good between them, but was half-afraid he wouldn't like the answer. Maybe Kyle saw that question in his eyes, because a hint of something darkened the bright blue in Kyle's before he dropped his gaze and bit his bottom lip, a faint flush creeping up his pale cheeks. Fuck, he looked so vulnerable sitting there, his bruised and battered body a stark reminder of how close he'd come to dying. Ignoring the hot jab of pain that lanced through his chest at the memory of seeing him lying in the middle of the road, Jared focused instead on the fact that he now had Kyle in his bed. But did Kyle really want to be there?
Anger once more overrode everything else. He wanted to get out of there. Wanted to remove himself from the man who confused him, hurt him, but he couldn't. He wouldn't turn his back on Kyle the same way Kyle had turned his back on him. Frustrated, irritated, Jared got up from the bed to get something to clean them both when Kyle gripped his arm.
"You're angry again."
Jared didn't deny it this time. "Yes."
"Why?"
Why? That was the multimillion-dollar question right now, wasn't it? And what was he supposed to say? Because I just fucked you and you let me? He didn't want to be angry at Kyle for that. Hell, he didn't want to be angry at Kyle at all. Shrugging, he couldn't look at him, didn't want to see hurt in his eyes, not when Jared was already hurting enough for both of them.
Kyle's fingers tightened on his arm. "I'm sorry."
Startled, Jared turned to him. "What?"
"For leaving you. I'm sorry."
"No! I don't want to hear an apology from you, Kyle. I don't want to hear any fucking excuses, either. What you did there's no excuse for."
Kyle's face went white. "I know that."
"Then why? Why the fuck did you leave me?"
Kyle's blue eyes blazed as he lifted his chin and stared at him. "Why did you want me to come home with you?"
"What the fuck has that got to do with anything?"
"Just answer the question, Jared. Why?"
"I told you. You need someone to look after you."
"And that's it?" Kyle looked resentful. Well, fine. That made two of them. Kyle shook his head. "Look, forget about it, okay. As soon as I can, I'll be out of your way."
Abruptly at a loss, Jared stood, no longer sure what to say, what to do, his anger draining away as suddenly as it had begun. He didn't want Kyle to go, but what did he have to make him stay? Taking a deep breath, Jared let it out on a shaky sigh.
"I'm going to get a cloth to clean us up," he said, standing.
"Are you coming back to bed?"
Jared hesitated. "Do you want me to?"
Kyle held his gaze, but Jared could see it was a struggle. Shit, he didn't like Kyle's loss of confidence; it had been one of the things Jared was attracted to. Before Kyle could say anything, Jared leaned down and kissed him. He knew he'd caught Kyle by surprise, but even as Kyle gasped, Jared swept his tongue inside and claimed his mouth. God, he wanted this man; he wanted him so much. He had no intention of letting Kyle leave, not when he'd only just got him here. When he pulled back, Kyle looked up at him with big blue eyes.
"Well?" Jared asked. "Do you want me to?"
Kyle nodded and then smiled. "Yeah."
"Good, and tomorrow we'll talk."
His desk was a mess. Files littered the timber top, papers were scattered among folders, and forms peppered every other available space; and Jared couldn't give a damn. He'd given up trying to work, hadn't even really made a dent in it. His thoughts, his focus was on Kyle.
Last night when he'd come back with a warm washcloth, he'd found Kyle asleep, his big body spread over the bed. In that instant, Jared had experienced a sick feeling of deja vu and only just managed not to wake Kyle up and beg him not to leave in the morning. But Kyle couldn't leave, not on his own and not in the condition he was in, and it was that lack of choice that made Jared wary. Kyle was virtually his prisoner, which didn't make Jared feel any better about the situation, and he still hadn't felt particularly happy about it when he got up that morning. Kyle had remained asleep, and instead of waiting for him to wake up, Jared had slunk out of the house, not ready to face him or his own fears.
A small twinge of guilt hit him at the thought of Kyle waking up without him being there, but he'd left a note letting him know he wasn't going to be too long. He'd promised Kyle they'd talk, but right now he needed some space, some time. Time to think, time to sort out his emotions, because the last couple of days had almost ripped him apart. He'd never been on so many highs or lows, and he was exhausted. Even now he wasn't sure what to feel, except whatever it was, it was more than he'd ever felt before. But maybe he shouldn't let himself feel anything until he knew for certain Kyle could feel the same way about him.
Jared rubbed his hands over his face, trying not to think about what had happened between him and Kyle last night but unable to think about anything else. He knew Kyle felt something for him, but what? Lust? Passion? Desire? Yes, those he knew about, but what else? Was there something more? Again Jared had to question why Kyle had let him fuck him. Let him? No, Kyle hadn't let him; he'd invited it, had practically instigated it. Why? Especially when Kyle had then made it obvious he didn't want to be there. But that, Jared admitted, could have entirely been his fault. He hadn't accepted Kyle's apology when it had been given and he hadn't been particularly nice about it either, but fuck, it had been painful to hear.
For two days, he'd sat at the hospital and heard Kyle's softly spoken apology over and over again, the whispered words said in the midst of Kyle's unconsciousness or sleep. He hadn't wanted to hear those words again, hadn't wanted Kyle to apologize for something Jared now feared he'd been responsible for.
Lost in thought, Jared didn't hear anyone enter his office, and he only looked up when a knuckle rapped against his desk.
"Jared."
"Sally. Oh, hi, didn't hear you come in." Jared quickly looked into his sister's face, then dropped his gaze. Crap. His bright, bubbly sister was not someone he wanted to tackle right now.
"I'm surprised you're here. I thought you'd still be at the hospital." Sally's light voice made Jared take a deep breath and look up at her again. Sally was his physical opposite. Petite, she barely came to his shoulder. Her long, golden hair fell to her waist, and her pale eyes often looked gray, though they were officially blue. And they were always smiling, like now.
"We came home last night," Jared replied, suddenly realizing what he'd said when Sally gasped.
"You brought him home!"
"It's not what you think," Jared quickly defended. "He needs someone to look after him," he added by way of explanation, hoping that might put Sally off any ideas. He should have known better.
"So why didn't he stay at the hospital?"
How the hell was he supposed to get out of this? Jared tried to shift his gaze, but Sally quite literally moved to put herself in his line of sight.
"Jared? What's going on?"
"Nothing. He just didn't want to stay there any longer, and he had nowhere else to go."
"Jared, I'm neither stupid nor naive. You don't bring a gay man home with you without a bigger reason than he just didn't have anywhere else to go."
"I never said he was gay!"
"You didn't have to. I could see in your eyes talking about him makes you uncomfortable, and if he wasn't gay and you weren't attracted to him, you wouldn't keep trying to avoid my eyes. So why don't you just fess up and tell me who he is, where you met him, and how long you've known him?" Jared stared into his sister's intelligent eyes. She was tenacious as well as perceptive and would keep on badgering him until he eventually caved in. He also couldn't lie; she would know the instant he tried. But could he tell her about Kyle, tell her everything?
He stood up and took a short walk to the window, which afforded him a view of the whole yard and the twenty or so trucks that were parked there, and tried to get his thoughts in order. He'd come here to think about Kyle, to think about what he was supposed to do about him, but he hadn't reckoned with having to explain him to Sally. Sensing her impatience, Jared turned to face her. Her eyes were dancing with both excitement and expectation, and Jared's stomach sank because he was going to disappoint her.
"It doesn't matter who he is, because I don't think he wants to stay with me," he said, both hearing the catch in his voice and feeling the tightness in his chest.
"Why on earth not?" Now Sally sounded affronted, and Jared couldn't help smiling: his sister, his advocate.
"That's something I'm trying to work out." Which was why he'd needed some time alone this morning. If Kyle didn't want him, didn't want to be with him, then why had he agreed to come home with him? Maybe that was the question he should be asking and not why Kyle had walked away from him in the first place. Or maybe he'd be better off not asking Kyle anything at all and just let him leave. Pain twisted his stomach at the thought, and Jared worried he'd already let what he felt for Kyle get too deep.
"Then why are you here? You can't work it out on your own. Talk to him, sort it out, because one thing I know for sure, you wouldn't bring home just anyone."
Not anyone, no. Kyle was the only man Jared would risk his reputation within the community for, a reputation he'd spent ten years trying to build, and the rib of it was, Kyle didn't even want to be there.
"And maybe I shouldn't have."
"What? Why?"
Resigned, Jared stated the obvious. "It was a stupid idea to think I could get away with having a man living with me. You know damn well what the town is going to think."
"Get away? You're not
getting away
with anything. You have a right to live the way you want. You deserve some happiness, Jared, and who cares if the town finds out you're gay; it's not going to change anything."
But that was the problem: it could change everything, and Jared wasn't sure how he'd cope with the aftermath. "I wish I had your confidence," he admitted ruefully.
Pale blue eyes looked up at him, a light smile playing about a mischievous mouth. "So are you going to tell me about him? What's he like, what's his name, and is he any good in bed?"
"Sally!" Shocked, Jared stared down at her.
"What?" She pouted her lower lip in mock contrition.
"That's not the kind of question you ask your brother. I don't ask you."
"That's because you're a prude."
"I'm not a prude. I'm just conservative."
"Which is why you picked up a man off the side of the road."
Figuring Sally had only guessed how he'd met Kyle, he didn't deign to answer, but he should have known Sally hadn't finished with him.
"Well?" she asked.
Jared knew he shouldn't say any more, but to talk about Kyle felt necessary. "His name is Kyle."
Sally grinned, her eyes sparkling like little chips of diamonds. "Well, give me all the details. What does he look like?"
Forgetting for a moment their real circumstances, Jared remembered back to the first time he saw Kyle. "Beautiful."
"Really?"
"No, he's old, fat, and ugly," Jared said, rolling his eyes before questioning the wisdom of telling Sally anything about Kyle at all. What if it didn't work out between them? What if Kyle really meant what he'd said last night and left as soon as he was able?
"How old is he?" Sally persisted.
"I don't know, about my age, I guess."
"Oh, that
is
old."
"Thirty is not old."
"It is to me."
"Sally, you're twenty-five."
"Exactly."
Twenty-five, deserted by her lowlife of a husband, and with a five-year-old daughter to bring up, and Sally thought herself young. She had the same tenacity and vibrant energy as their mother. Jared actually did feel old compared to them, and he wondered how they did it.
"Tell me more," Sally begged, her little pixie hands clasped together in front of her mouth.
Jared shook his head. "There's nothing more to tell," he said. "We're still just getting to know each other."