Brocade Series 02 - Giselle (36 page)

That’s what he’d been telling her at the arbor
. And that’s what she couldn’t bear.

Gerty’s action while Giselle was preparing for supper
convinced her, though.

“
I have brought a bottle of Savignen 1736, Your
Grace.”

Giselle watched her uncork the bottle and set it on the night
table. Giselle rarely drank anymore, and Navarre wouldn’t find it of
interest, either.

“Savignen 1726
? Why would you do that, Gerty?”

“We save it for special occasions,
Madame.
I thought it appropriate.”

“
I gave no such word, Gerty. You overstep yourself.”

“
In that case, I stand corrected,
Madame.
Shall I have it sent back to the cellars?”

Her apology was given beneath her breath.
Giselle barely heard it. Gerty suspected? That meant it wouldn’t be long before her brother knew. And then Etienne. And then everyone. And Giselle wanted to be the one to tell Navarre.

No
.
That was a lie. Giselle didn’t want to tell him, at all. She
wanted him to remain in ignorance as long as possible.
Gerty was still standing beside the bed, her dark eyes full of
curiosity and something else. She looked like she was enjoying Giselle’s discomfiture.

“Isabelle has served me so well, Gerty, I find it annoying sometimes to have so many maids
. Perhaps I’ll speak with Esmee
when she returns. She may have need of your services.”

“You don’t need my services?” she gasped.

Giselle had managed to break through the maid’s complacent stance?

“
I didn’t say that. I only intimate that Esmee, being in such
straits when she marries, would appreciate you far more than I would.
It’s something I must think over. You may go now.”

“But,
Madame-’

“You heard her, Missy,” Louisa snapped. “Take your gossipy
tongue below-stairs where it belongs, and make haste! Bringing wine
to celebrate? I can’t believe what I am hearing!”

“Calm yourself, Louisa.”

Giselle waited until Gerty shut the door to speak.
Louisa sighed.

“Your secret won’t stay hidden much longer,
Giselle.”

“
I know.” Giselle shook her head as Louisa poured some of
the wine out.

“The
Monsieur…
he
will be pleased?”

Navarre
? Giselle doubted that. “The
duc
will be. And that has to
be enough. Oh, Louisa…how will I bear it?”

She was lucky to have Louisa
. She realized it fully then.
All those years when Giselle had argued and berated her companion
over her incarceration, Louisa had remained loyal and patient. Giselle
couldn’t imagine the loneliness of her future nights, when Louisa
would be her only confidant.

Once Navarre knows….

She couldn’t finish the thought.

“You should be happy, you know
. This child will bring such
joy to this household, and I can’t imagine more beautiful parents.
Just think…an
enfant
!”

Her voice dropped to a whisper, but Giselle glanced down
.
She must have been drugged not to have thought through the consequences before, because her belly was twisting with it, now.
Her nights with Navarre were ending. She would never again
whisper to him in the darkness, or feel his touch, or look deeply into
his eyes, or feel his nakedness pressed to hers?

“
I know.” Giselle tried to smile
. “It’s just….”

Isabelle entered the room, struggling with Giselle’s ironed dress
without any help with the door from Jean or Henri. That reminded Giselle of their absence. They had been given some time to themselves. Etienne wasn’t out of danger. News of Giselle’s
pregnancy would make Jean-Claude even more desperate.

At least, he was far away. Esmee needed a new trousseau, and Jean-Claude took the ladies to the Paris
shoppes.
He was offering his approval of their outfits. As out-of-character as that was, everyone in the castle breathed easier the moment the carriage drove out of sight.

“Do I have to attend sup?” Giselle eyed the dress Isabelle carried as if it were sack cloth
. “I’m not really hungry…and I dread
it.”

She just wanted to sleep as she had for the past week
. That
was one of the things that made the women suspicious of her
condition in the first place.

“
I suppose the family can get by without you,” she replied.
“It’s only Margot, some retainers, and
Monsieur
Navarre of course.”

“Navarre?” Giselle’s voice caught. “
I suppose I can make an
effort to dress then. After all, I don’t want Chef Aaron sulking, do I
?”

She looked from one to the other, trying for an innocent expression
. Louisa contorted her face as she suppressed her reaction
to Giselle’s words.

“
I think it’s a very good thing
Monsieur
Navarre lives in a different
house. That is what I am thinking,” Isabelle replied. “It keeps tongues still.”

“Oh, Isabelle
! The things you say,” Giselle giggled. “As if I
would be interested in
Monsieur
Navarre. I have the
duc
to keep me
company. Perhaps I’ll dine in with him, instead. That will give them
something else to talk about. What do you say to that?”

“
I think it’s an excellent plan.”

Louisa nodded sagely, and
Giselle longed to toss something at her.

“It will give us something to do with this celebration wine,
too.”

“Wine? What wine?” Isabelle asked.

“Gerty brought me a bottle with which to celebrate,” Giselle informed her.

“She needs better manners, may the Lord forgive her.”

“Leave it for now. I grow tired of discussing it. I don’t believe
my husband will have further need of wine this evening, anyway.”

Louisa saw through the words, if Isabelle didn’t
. Etienne was doing his utmost
to drink himself insensible anymore. Giselle had to
banish the thought. No one would believe Giselle was besotted with
him, if they could but see him.

Giselle made her decision. She would tell Navarre of their baby that evening.

Perhaps, a celebration would be in order before he
left her.

It was strange how hollow-sounding her bedchamber could be. Giselle surveyed it from the safety of her pillows as she waited for Navarre. Even the
sound of her breathing echoed back at her. She should have had
Louisa light a fire. That way, the crackling logs would dispel some
of the stillness.

So this is my future
.

She was wearing the most beautiful negligee she owned. Made
of ivory silk, slit past her thigh, it had a bodice sewn of the finest
Brussels lace to frame her bosom. She looked at the effect in the
mirror before her eyes misted over with tears. She’d never be able to
wear it again. It would hurt too much.

Etienne still snored. Giselle caught a hint of the louder ones
again. He’d snored through supper, too. She hadn’t missed his
company. He hadn’t anything except sarcasm for her
anymore. He was too drunk to care if she ate in
his chamber with him or not. That was a small favor, but she must
learn to count her blessings.

There was a slight creak of a door hinge,
and then Navarre was
with her.

“You didn’t dine with us,
Giselle,” he said. “I’ve never been
so worried. Do you ail? Should I go?”

The
look of concern on his
face made her smile freeze. The man was so handsome! Even dressed in
nondescript black leather, with his hair hidden under his hood, he
was absolutely beautiful.

He was heartbreaking, true
…but beautiful, too.

Giselle’s eyes filled with tears, and she cursed the emotion that
caused
them. She didn’t want to spoil this. Somehow, this night would
have to see her through all the hollow-sounding nights ahead until her child was born.

But what release would that bring
? She was so stupid. And their mother had even warned her of it.

“Giselle
? What is it, love?”

The bed shifted as he
lurched across it, gathering her into his arms. Giselle quickly looked aside. She couldn’t face him. Not until she had these accursed tears banished.

“Don’t cry
. Please? I can’t stand for that.
”

“
I love you, Navarre,’ she whispered against the leather
covering his chest.

“
Ah. I think I see.” He kissed her hair and the arms
about her tightened. “It is your woman time. And we can wait. I’ve been told it
lasts but a sennight I understand, but I refuse to
sleep elsewhere. Help me off with this.”

Giselle held his sleeves for him
as
he tugged his
arms free, leaving her with the shirt.

“But I’ve never
seen you wear this before,” he said. “You wore it
for me?
Merde!
I can’t keep my thoughts, my desires, not to mention my hands from you, yet you tempt me? Is there no end to your wickedness
?”

She let him talk, loving the sound of it through his
chest as she snuggled against him.

“You’re nearest the light.”
He yawned, and she followed. “You must blow it out.” He kissed her forehead and settled them into the pillows.

Giselle ran her hands down his chest, using his flesh like
the keyboard of a pianoforte. His skin was smooth and warm to the
touch. Then she played with the satin sheet against his waist, moving
it back and forth slowly.

“Giselle, I’m warning you!”

She giggled and slid further down his side
in order to explore. There wasn’t enough lace at her bodice to prevent skin-to-skin contact with him, and she rubbed against him greedily. He
felt hot and firm. The curve of his hip filled the space between her breasts, and her fingers slid across his thigh.

“Mon Dieu
!
You really are a vixen!”

Large hands gripped her
shoulders, hauling her to him. The hard look in his eyes was meant to be intimidating.
She pursed her lips and kissed the air
between them.

“What? I tell you of my understanding, and what do you
do? Torment me. Toy with me, again.”

Giselle felt the hard pressure of him writhing against her belly
.
Was it striving against his will, then? She shook, or rather the hands
holding her did.

“
I love you, Navarre.”

She assumed he cursed her, but the words weren’t clear when
spat from between his tight lips. She wasn’t thinking about that. She
clung as he rolled, twisting them in the bedding and pinning her
beneath his weight.

His hair wasn’t tied back
. It fell from both sides of his face,
tickling where it touched. Giselle felt the contact against her chin and
earlobes as she shook her head. He rained punishing kisses on her
throat and breasts.

“Navarre!”

Giselle couldn’t help squealing when he licked her.
Her hands clenched his shoulders, kneading the muscle there. “I
can’t—Navarre, I beg you, I can’t breathe!”

She knew he didn’t believe her, for
he shook now with
laughter, holding her i
mmobile while he tickled and teased.

“Navarre!”

Finally, he shifted his weight, and Giselle gulped for air while
he settled his chin into the hollow of her shoulder. His eyes sparkled
with mirth.
Giselle let her gaze rove over every bit of his face.

“Now will you let me sleep in peace and not tease me with
your beauty?”

Giselle loved the little lines that ran from the corners of his eyes down his face
. She traced one with a fingernail, pulling back
when he turned his face to nip at her.

“I—I’m in the family way, Navarre,” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

It was difficult to concentrate on her words when he was gazing at her. His blue-violet eyes were soft and warm with
love.

“Didn’t you hear me?”
She expected surprise, perhaps joy. Even
anger would have been acceptable. He acted as if it was nothing.
She couldn’t believe it.

“Why do you anger, Giselle?”

“I’m not angry. Why do you think so?”

“So the family is in the way
. Do you think I can forget? It’s
the first thing I think of every day when I awake, and the last thing I
recall before I sleep.
Non.
That’s a lie. I can’t go a minute without thinking of you.”

“
That isn’t what I meant, Navarre. It’s done.
You and I…um.
L‘enfant…the
heir. We’ve done it, and I’m….”

Her voice stopped as his eyes filmed over with tears
. The joy she’d glimpsed was quickly overshadowed by such immense sadness, she
actually felt it.

“So soon?”

Giselle felt her heart lurch when he asked, then he turned and
rolled away from her. He was taking the sheets and his warmth, and she knew the real reason was to disguise his emotion.

“Navarre, you can’t leave me!”

She would have held to him, but he shrugged her hand away,
easing those lengthy legs back into his leather breeches. She had to
stop him.

“Please? I
beg you!”

Something in her voice slowed him
. She watched a tremor run
down his back before he pulled on his shirt, hiding his skin from her.
She wondered if she’d ever see such splendor again.

“Giselle
. I can’t stand your pleas.
I’m
too much of a coward, I tell you.”

“No.”

He turned back to her. Candlelight brought his features into
sharp relief and glinted on the single track of a tear. Giselle didn’t
feel brave, either.

“It’s been a joy beyond words, Giselle,” he whispered. “Lord
help me, I knew this would come. I knew it. I thought…I was
prepared for it.” He wiped a hand across his face. “I can’t endure
the thought! Your face. Your…skin!”

He turned aside, his voice dropping to a whisper,
raw with emotion. Giselle hastily wiped her own tears away.

“We can run away, Navarre,” she said quickly. “We’ll leave
Etienne.
I’d
go anywhere with you. Surely you know that?”

He turned back and smiled without any pleasure
. Although the
light was dim, Giselle saw the lines of bitterness on his face.

“
I will not do that to my brother, Giselle. Think of the scandal he’d have to face. And, even if I listen, what would you have me do?
I have no
skills. I wouldn’t even be capable of menial labor. You want to add
the guilt of sentencing you to poverty to everything else?”

“If I can be with you, and have our baby with you, I can do—”

“Enough!”

Giselle pulled back, clutching the sheets to her throat at his
expression. He was shouting at her. And he wasn’t finished, either.

“Not
our
baby Giselle, Etienne’s! You carry the Berchald heir! If you
think I desire this child, you’re mistaken! I hate it, I tell you! I hate
it as much as I hate myself!”

The connecting door crashed open with such force, Navarre’s
mouth fell open, stopping his words. Giselle was grateful. She was displacing pillows in her haste to hide. Get as far from him as possible. He hated the baby? She’d heard it, but her mind didn’t accept it.

“How many times must I ask it of you,
Madame
la
Duchesse?”

Etienne stumbled over her title
. His bleary red eyes focused on her
perch against the headboard. “Do you think it a
pleasure to listen to you two night after night?”

“You’re drunk, Etienne.”

Navarre’s words were hushed, but
frightening-sounding. Giselle trembled even more as she heard them,
but Etienne seemed unaffected.

“Drunk? Of course I am. Do you think it easy to listen while
my wife adulterates me?”

Giselle gasped, earning another glare from Etienne.

“Acting like little more than a woman of the—”

“Stay
your tongue!”

Giselle thought she’d seen Navarre angry before, but
it was nothing to this.
The red color rising up his throat, the narrowed
eyes, and the lowered head seemed to be someone else. She
couldn’t imagine anyone more predatory-looking.

“If
you value anything, Etienne, you’ll go back into your
chambers. Now. Before you say something for which there is no apology
good enough.”

His whisper terrified Giselle
. Etienne seemed to shrivel in
his chair.

“What do you think
I’m
made of, Navarre, stone?” he asked.
“Do you think I care nothing for my wife? She’s my wife, damn you!
Is nothing
sacred to my brothers? I know
I’m
only half a man. I see it every
time the drink wears off, but does that change anything?
Non.
I’m
still a man. And that is still my wife.
”

He turned to Giselle, and she couldn’t look away
. Blue eyes filled with drink and remorse regarded her. She gulped past the constriction
in her throat.

“Perhaps, if I had been the one, Giselle?” he asked.

“The…one?” She was surprised the words made sound.

He smiled
. Despite his unkempt appearance, she saw the man
he once was. He was a handsome specimen, equally as beautiful as
Navarre, just different.

“To fetch you,” he added. “If it were possible for me to
come—what am I saying? You know the truth. If I possessed
enough courage to come and get you, would you have wanted me
instead?”

Giselle couldn’t see his face any longer through her tears
.
There was no way to answer such a question. Navarre backed from
the area, leaving her range of vision. Giselle ignored his movement,
for she couldn’t answer otherwise.