Broken and Screwed 2 (The BS Series) (7 page)

Chandra stood behind their leader, ready for whatever was going to go down, but when she sent me a questioning glance I knew it was bothering her about Cord. She still didn’t know how I knew him. When Beth let out a small sigh, my attention was distracted. Tiffany stood at Hannah’s head now, glaring down, while her sister continued to ignore her. Beth’s shoulders slumped and before she lowered her head back to her book, I caught the pain that flashed over her.

I straightened where I sat. That wasn’t the sort of pain where she was being ignored or where she knew there was going to be a confrontation between the sisters. That was deep pain, the type that I felt stirring inside of me as a response to seeing it. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, wondering what the hell had gone down in Beth’s life for her to react like that.

Then I shook my head clear. What was I doing? I couldn’t get involved.

“Hannah, I’m speaking to you!”

Her elbow rotated and her hand lifted in the air. The middle finger was extended next.

Beth and I both shared a look, each grinning.

“You’re such a pain in my ass.”

Hannah looked up now and grunted, “Likewise, big pain-in-my-ass sister.”

Tiffany’s glare went up a notch and her hands went to her hips. “You need to call me when you go out drinking. Mom was worried to death about you.”

“Mom wasn’t worried about me. Mom would’ve been cheering me on. You were worried, Tiffany. Stop putting your crap on other people.” She gave her sister a nice eff-off grin. “I have no plans on reporting to you wherever I go, whenever I go, and whoever I do so get that out of your head. You didn’t care last year. You don’t need to now.”

Her hands slid from her hips and her voice quieted, “Hannah, I’m worried about you. Last year, you didn’t have—”

She cut her off, “It’s none of your business. Back off.”

“I’m—”

Hannah shoved her book closed and swept it into her bag as she stood from the table. Pulling her bag onto her back, she was seething at her sister. “Stay out of my business. You do that and we’ll get along fine.”

“But,” Tiffany glanced at Beth, who immediately dropped her head back to her book.

I frowned.

“And don’t look at Beth. Unlike you, she’s actually there for me and trying to support me.”

“I’m trying to do that too.”

Hannah poked her sister in the chest, pushing her back a step. “No, you’re not. You’re trying to control me. Trust me. I feel back-doored up the ass every time you talk to me.”

Her sister’s mouth dropped open and her friends moved away from the two. Tiffany sputtered, “But—Hannah, I don’t—”

“You do.” She silenced her with a look. “Do us both a favor and leave me alone. Focus all your energy on making sure Jamie doesn’t cheat as much as he did last year.”

Tiffany’s face flamed and her shoulders went rigid. Her jaw clenched, but before she could send a scathing retort, Hannah was gone. She jerked towards her cousin instead and clipped out, “Can you make sure she doesn’t end up dead by the end of the semester? It’s the least you could do.”

Beth didn’t respond.

When she realized she wasn’t going to get a response, Tiffany narrowed her gaze at me instead.

I narrowed mine back. “Don’t even start. I’m not a punching bag for you.”

She rolled eyes and muttered, “We’ll see about that,” before she left. Chandra and Kara both gazed at me in concern, but followed a second later.

“What a bitch,” came from beside me.

I frowned again. “Does she always talk to you like that?”

“More or less.” Before I could reply, her shoulders went back and her chest rose. “I’m not weak to let her talk to me like that. I used to fight back, but it only made things worse between her and Hannah. If I don’t respond to her, she always goes away and things aren’t that bad between them.”

They looked pretty damn bad to me. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’m not weak.”

“You are when it comes to Tiffany.”

She had started to turn back to her book, but her eyes snapped back to mine. Anger morphed over her and she lashed back, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I shrugged, but I murmured, “I know enough to know that you’re scared of your cousin.” Before she could reply, I finished, “And we both know that’s not Hannah. Does she remind you of your mother?”

Beth paled. “What did you just say?”

“Tiffany. She’s like your mom, isn’t she? That’s why you don’t fight back.”

“Shut. Up.”

I grabbed my book and my bag. Standing from the table, I regarded her for a second. “I’m not judging. I was dumped by both my parents so I get it. But Tiffany is not your mom. You can stand up for yourself against her. She’s still here and it doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere.”

As she gulped, I gave her a small wave and left.

I hadn’t minced my words and I hadn’t taken pity on her. That’s what she’d been scared about, but that small voice whispered in my head,
You’re a hypocrite. You’re scared, just like her.

I was, but I wasn’t going to deal with my parents yet. I wasn’t ready for that.

Jesse called
two nights later. I checked the time and saw it was after eleven before I answered. “Hey.”

“What are you doing?”

I glanced at my sneakers I was lacing up and my gym bag was already packed. I went to lie on my bed instead. “Nothing. You?”

“You want to do something?”

I grinned into the phone. “Is this my first official booty call in college?”

“No.” I could hear his amusement. “Well, maybe later. Want to go somewhere with me?”

“Where?” I was tempted to tease him if he was going to say his bedroom, but I stopped myself. There was exhaustion in his voice and my Jesse senses were tingling. Something was up, probably whatever he’d been busy with all week.

“My buddy’s in a band. Sometimes I go and listen to their practices.”

“Sure.”

“Okay. I’m outside your dorm right now.”

“The back door?” I didn’t wait for his answer. “I’ll be down.” Warmth rushed through me and I hurried to change my shorts into jeans. My shirt was off next and I pulled a tank with a sweater over it. Slipping my feet into flats, I grabbed my purse and headed out. As I was locking my door, Kara was coming up the back stairwell with a tall guy behind her. He had brown hair, long enough to be teased with some curl, but not long enough to look shaggy. He had high cheekbones, almost as chiseled as Jesse’s, and keen dark eyes. Their hands were interlocked so I figured this was the boyfriend.

“Oh, hi!” Kara stopped. He stood just inside the doorway with a hand against it to keep from slamming into him. “This is my boyfriend, Derek. Derek, this is Alex. She…knows Cord.”

An eyebrow went up, but he didn’t comment on that. “Nice to meet you.”

When he didn’t extend a hand, I was relieved. “You too. Be seeing you guys.”

“Oh, wait.” Kara stepped to the side, blocking me. Her smile never moved an inch. “I wanted to invite you to a picnic in two weekends. Are you doing anything Saturday?”

Yes. I had such a busy life. “Studying?”

“You can’t study all the time. The picnic is at Carver Park, eleven thirty. You don’t need to bring anything.”

“Who else is going to be there?” This sounded fishy to me.

Her smile was strained now.

I knew it.

She answered, “Tiffany, Chandra, myself, and another girl, Elizabeth Ives are putting it on. There will be lots of guys, if you want to meet a guy. Oh, and I was going to invite Hannah and Beth too. They have a Frisbee golf course and I know some of the guys will have a soccer game too. But don’t worry, there’ll be other girls there too. It’s just for a fun afternoon at the park.”

A brief frown appeared over her boyfriend before it cleared just as quick.

What was that for?

“So do you think you’d come?”

“Oh. Uh. You think it’s a good idea for Hannah to come if Tiffany’s going to be there? They didn’t seem to get along so well.”

She waved that off. “They’re always like that. There was another fight last night. So? Do you want to come?” Her eyes were animated as she waited for my answer.

I shrugged as I started to say, “Suu…” But I faded. A big fat knot had formed in my stomach. My other senses were telling me this was a bad idea.

Kara didn’t care. Her smile stretched from ear to ear. “Great! I’ll come to your room at eleven fifteen. We can walk over together.”

With a pat to my shoulder, she jerked her boyfriend from the doorway and past me. I was left unsettled when they disappeared into her room. When the lock clicked, I shook my head. I felt duped, but went down the stairs and to the back door. I’d deal with that later. Right now, as I stepped outside and saw the black Ferrari, I was thankful Jesse had his windows tinted. There was a cluster of girls on two benches that had been landscaped amidst foliage. They were eyeing the Ferrari. With a quick scan, I figured they were freshmen like me. Maybe they hadn’t heard Jesse Hunt drove the same car. I was hoping.

As soon as I got in, he sped away. For some reason, I wasn’t surprised to see he was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt and black pants. The shirt was snug on him. His arm muscles moved underneath and it accentuated the cut of his shoulders. The warmth from before came back, mingling with lust. It was on a simmer, always there, as if waiting for his presence. The simmer had been turned up. It was a steady boil now, not too overwhelming, but he looked he looked pissed and stoic at the same time. It was a deadly combination, especially on him.

Neither of us said a word. There was a comfortable silence and I didn’t want to break it. Closing my eyes, I leaned back and opened the window a bit. The wind raced against my face, calming my racing heart. Being there with him and not needing to fill the silence soothed an edge inside of me.

My chest lifted again, up and down in a smooth rhythm.

When we were nearing the outskirts of town, he asked, “Are you hungry? Did you want some food?”

“I had old pizza. I’m good.”

He nodded and wheeled the car onto the interstate. We were flying away from town with no end in sight. After we had driven thirty minutes, I felt Jesse’s gaze on me. “What is it?”

He gave me a rueful grin. “Do you have an early class tomorrow?”

“Nope, those are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have a ten o’clock class.” Which I didn’t mind skipping, it was psychology. My head couldn’t take that stuff.

He nodded and went back to the road. “Good. It might be a long night.”

I grinned to myself as I heard that. Pleasure spread through me and the steady boil went up another notch. This addiction to him was like a drug, I was intoxicated. He pumped adrenalin through me and made me feel like I was living again.

My head went down. My eyes closed.

My chest filled with searing pain.

He was making me right again. I didn’t know what would happen when this was done. Could I go back?

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, unable to speak. Too many damn emotions were stirring in me. “Nothing. Are we almost there?”

“Yeah.” He pointed to a small building in the middle of nowhere. “They call it ‘The Shack’, but it’s just a place they practice. Sometimes they’ll have their friends come and listen and hang out.”

“How did you meet these guys?”

Half of his mouth lifted up in a grin. “A bar. Okay. A dive bar, in the wrong area of town. Luke and I were both having a drink when some guys picked a fight. We were sitting next to each other so both of us were pulled into it. Afterwards, we shared a few more drinks. I was laying low; he was doing the same. We bonded.” As he pulled into the gravel parking lot and slid to a stop, he laughed to himself. “These guys know sports, but they don’t say anything. I can just be me.”

Getting out, I grabbed my purse, but Jesse took it from me. He opened his trunk and tossed it in, then took my hand in his. “You don’t need that in here.”

Which was code in Jesse’s world as, please don’t bring your phone. Little did he know that no one called me anymore. He’d been the only one in my history over the last week.

Loud music met us when we stepped inside, but it was dark. The only light was on the stage as a guy was singing into a microphone, bending over with it. He had a smooth tone that sounded like a caress to my ears. He was good. Jesse led me to a back table and we sat side by side. He leaned against the wall and he pulled me against him with an arm curved around my waist. We sat there and listened longer, this band was really good.

When they switched to a different song, one that I recognized, I bolted upright and twisted around. “This is Braille.” Even I knew who these guys were and I never paid attention, but this band had exploded a year ago. They’d been some of my only company the summer before I came to school. Jesse gave a small smile as he ran his thumb down the side of my cheek, then he pulled me back against him. Settling back in, his chest lifted as he took in a deep breath.

His hand fell back to mine and interlaced together.

A girl came over and nodded towards Jesse. “You here just to hang out? You want something to drink?”

“Water for me. You want something?” he asked me.

“Uh,” I was battling against being star struck. These were normal guys, just like Jesse. Jesse was a normal guy. That last thought helped calm me down. They were normal, and they didn’t know me. When I jerked my gaze from the stage to the girl, she was grinning. I wondered how often she dealt with girls like me. “Yeah. I’ll have water too.”

“You guys sure? Luke stocked the refrigerator. We have more than enough.”

“No, thanks.” Jesse’s voice sounded close to my ear and I shivered. It was caressing. His arm shifted, pulling me tighter to him. “Thanks, Bri.”

She nodded before she walked away with a sexy saunter to her hips.

I peeked to see if Jesse was watching, but his eyes were closed. His chest lifted back up in another deep breath. I sensed that he had come out here to relax, and he’d brought me along with him. That meant something. I couldn’t hide from that, but he had already told me that no one could mean to him what Ethan and I did.

As the band started another song, I blinked back tears.

Jesse was already doing this to me and it’d only been the second time I’d seen him. My parents had shattered me. I didn’t need to go to therapy to know that they killed a part of me when I read that letter. Over the summer, I had survived. That’d been my only thought, to keep going, but since coming to school, things were better. A little bit better and now, with him, they were becoming more than a little bit. But with that new hope, new terror had begun to build with it.

He’d leave. They always left. What then?

I gripped onto his hand as if he were going to go right then and there.

What would I do?

When I wasn’t with him, I was okay. I was broken, but functioning. I could do that and endure college like that. I’d be fine. And when that would stop, whatever it was…that searing pain rattled against my chest. It wanted to burst through every part of me, every cell in my body. I wasn’t letting it. I pushed it away and then stopped thinking.

I’d take what I could get for now. Maybe enough of me would heal that I wouldn’t be so shattered when he eventually left.

The band played for an hour. They’d stop and discuss sections of a song, then start over again as they implemented the new changes. It was fascinating to watch. We remained at our table without speaking. When Jesse’s chest started to rise up and down at a steady rate, I knew he’d fallen asleep, but I didn’t move away. Bri came over a few times and had a new water bottle for us. After the third time, I started to ease from Jesse’s arm and stood. Bri was talking by a bar with a guy who was stocky and an inch shorter than her, but he had a scar that ran across his entire face. It started at one corner of his forehead and ended underneath his chin on the other side. He saw me first and nodded in my direction. Bri turned around with a friendly smile. She looked around me and her grin softened with fondness. She gestured to Jesse, “Is he sleeping?”

“Yeah.” She wasn’t surprised by that. “Does he do that a lot?”

She shrugged before she slipped behind the bar’s counter. She reached underneath and pulled out a shot glass with a bottle of Whiskey. Filling it up, she slid it towards the stocky guy. “Drink it, Emerson.”

He hadn’t looked particularly friendly before, but a small scowl appeared. He was terrifying now.

He growled at her, “Fuck off, Bri. I’m not drinking that shit.”

Her eyes sparkled as a smile lit up her face. She poured another one for herself. “I’ll take it with you. You lost the bet, fair and square. You have to drink.”

He continued to scowl at the shot glass.

“It’s not going to disappear unless you drink it.” Bri winked at me behind her hand and she held her own glass up. “Come on, you big baby. Luke said you were supposed to take five shots tonight. You’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Luke can kiss my ass.”

His statement would’ve only been heard by the two of us, but the music abruptly stopped right before. Everyone heard it and the lead singer gripped his microphone. He growled into it, “You lost the bet, Emerson. Take your five fucking shots.”

The drummer started a roll as he taunted into his microphone, “Em-er-son. Em-er-son. Em-er-son.”

“You can kiss my ass too, Braden,” he shouted across the warehouse. “Screw all of you. I’m out of here.”

The drummer changed his chant, “Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite.”

As he stalked towards the door, past Jesse, Emerson shoved outside. Jesse had woken and looked at the door in confusion.

“Your boy’s awake.” Bri handed the shot to me. “He looks like he needs this more than Emerson did.”

I wanted to ask her more questions, if Jesse did this a lot? When had he started? If they knew anything about him except his name? So many were burning in me, but I took the shot over to him and put it on the table. “That girl, Bri, said you looked like you needed this.”

Jesse took the shot without argument.

“Hey!” The lead singer had come over. He nodded to me in greeting, pulled a chair out, twirled it around, and straddled it. “I didn’t see you come in.”

Jesse grimaced. “Yeah, to get away. You know.”

The guy nodded, then slid his gaze to me and held his hand out. “Luke Skeet.”

I took his hand; it was firm and polite, nothing more. “Hi, Alex Connors.”

He nodded, there was no recognition, no speculation, nothing. He turned back to Jesse, his grey eyes were alert. I felt slightly zapped by this guy’s attention and I could understand why so many girls had fallen in love with the lead singer to Braille. I had heard so many talking about the band when I was still working at the coffee hut in the mall. I hadn’t really cared or listened, not at that time. I’d been just holding on and trying to survive. Now I wish that I had listened more and learned more about this band.

I glanced at Jesse underneath my eyelids. He was friends with them and he had come here to get away. That told me these guys were either important to him or they understood him in a way that no one else did.

Luke was saying, “….this feast on that Saturday if you and your girl want to come.”

I tensed, waiting for Jesse to say the inevitable ‘she’s not my girl’, but he only shrugged. “Maybe. Some of the girlfriends are throwing a picnic for the team. You guys should come to that.” He grinned to himself. “Tiffany would drop bricks if you guys showed up. She wouldn’t know what to do.”